Rush - What to NOT do or say

[FSUZeta]

unless talking to a zeta about our phil. of course, ones boob job has nothing to do with that !

[AOII Angel]

New rule...if you feel a little gassy, don't lean away from your rusher and pass gas in her face! I swear it happened to one of my sisters. The girl was not trying to be offensive, she really didn't even acknowledge that she did it. In the end, she did not get a bid to any group so I guess she did similar things at other parties!

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by AOIIalum

I guess we have something to add to the "B's": Booze, boys, bank accounts, and boobs!

boys, booze, bank, bible, ballot, bitches/boobs

[AGDee]

Please note: Only Chuck Norris can injure women during recruitment and still receive bids to all 26 NPCs.

[UGAalum94]

It seems a little funny to say that these are "rules" as if they are at the level and the panhellenic rules that can get your chapter sanctions.

I think it's a really bad idea to talk about any of them and probably most conversations about any will be in poor taste or otherwise offensive.

But, if a PNM brings something up, a reaction of "we're not allowed to talk about that" is going to be far more awkward than just gracefully following up or redirecting.

For example if a PNM told you that she had spent all summer working for the Obama campaign, isn't it going to make her feel more appreciated and welcome to follow up on that statement?

Again, I totally agree that no member should initiate a conversation on those points and should gracefully get out without telling any stories about the chapter or sisters.

I have no idea what someone should say about a boob job. Maybe just a "how wonderful that you can feel your best about yourself" ?

[wsuTriDelt]

I'm sure this has already been said but just be as nice to the girls you talk to as you can. More than not they're just as nervous as you are. When I went through recruitment some PNMs were flat out rude. You may not like a house you're invited back to but that doesn't mean you never utter a word, go to the bathroom and stay in there then entire time or tell a girl straight out 'I hate this house, don't envite me back'.
Just because you don't like a house the first day doesn't mean it's not the house from you, I wasn't too sold on my house the first day I went, but by the end of the week I realized it was the house for me.
With a few exceptions, you'll usually end up in the right house for you. Just keep in mind that even if you don't like a house the things you say to them during recruitement is usually remembered, and you don't want to start off greek life with a bad rep.
Anyway that's my 2 cents :]
GO TRI DELTA!

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by wsuTriDelt

I'm sure this has already been said but just be as nice to the girls you talk to as you can. More than not they're just as nervous as you are. When I went through recruitment some PNMs were flat out rude. You may not like a house you're invited back to but that doesn't mean you never utter a word, go to the bathroom and stay in there then entire time or tell a girl straight out 'I hate this house, don't envite me back'.
Just because you don't like a house the first day doesn't mean it's not the house from you, I wasn't too sold on my house the first day I went, but by the end of the week I realized it was the house for me.
With a few exceptions, you'll usually end up in the right house for you. Just keep in mind that even if you don't like a house the things you say to them during recruitement is usually remembered, and you don't want to start off greek life with a bad rep.
Anyway that's my 2 cents :]
GO TRI DELTA!

I've never understood anyone who behaved like that. The least you can do is pin a smile on your face and go through the motions. There is no need to be rude. If a PNM gets invited to a chapter she isn't interested, well all she has to do is not accept. Duh!

These young women seem to forget that they may end up in class with someone from that chapter after Recruitment is over. Or an active might be friends with or live/room with someone from another chapter the PNM IS interested in. Actives can talk just as much as PNMs about their Recruitment experience/impressions, just not about their selection process.

On the flip side, I'm forever stressing to my actives that there will be PNMs they don't click with, that they may not even like. But it's their job to play the role of a gracious hostess. Every PNM that doesn't receive an invitation to the next round should shocked because she had such a nice time. The actives also forget PNMs talk about their experiences at the different chapters. Who wants to join a group that was rude to your new friend?

I think the problem is that we're dealing with 18-21 year olds. Not all of them have mastered the social skill of masking their true feelings with politeness. The craziness of a competitive Recruitment does serve a purpose. It should to teach the young women to deal with (sometimes) uncomfortable even forced social interaction, as well as stress. Sadly not everyone has learned those lessons very well yet.

[MTSUGURL]

Originally Posted by Zillini

If a PNM gets invited to a chapter she isn't interested, well all she has to do is not accept. Duh!

On my campus, you had to attend all parties you were invited back too unless your invites exceeded the number of parties you could attend. Not accepting an invitation wasn't an option if your number of invites was equal to or less than the number of parties you could go to. Not that this excuses rudeness - nothing does. I just wish I'd been able to slap a few of the girls in my recruitment group - their behavior made me embarrassed for them.

[MSKKG]

There is no excuse for rudeness, and one reason I've heard for it is that these PNMs either don't want to rush and are being coerced into it by their family or are only interested in a particular chapter. They want to put the "cutting" monkey on the "undesirable" chapters' backs so they can report to their moms that "the ABCs and XYZs cut me and I don't know why--guess I wasn't meant for sorority life/I'll have to join DEF." They are then victims of circumstance and not responsible for their decision to drop out completely or their decision to choose the GLO they want.

[wsuTriDelt]

Oh and don't dumb yourself down.
I heard a girl during recruitment this year asked a PNM what her favorite color was....her reply? 'Zebra.'

[littleowl33]

Don't make up a legacy!!! Our chapter had a PNM come through who wanted us so badly that she told every sister she talked to that her grandmother was a Kappa. We checked with headquarters and... no dice. Do these girls think we're not going to check?? We cut her immediately for lying like that.

[ztamsu07]

To the rushers (actives):

Please have respect in yourself and the wonderful greek organization you are a part of. Now don't take this as you should be concited, not at all, but just read my story and you'll understand..

When I was going through rush, I talked to girls at one house and while we were on the house tour, they showed me a bedroom with pictures of places they'd gone with the sorority and stuff like that and told me about them. Wonderful. But for some reason, the girl would continually say, "Well we hosted blah blah, but I didn't go" or "we went to whatever city for our philanthropy, but I didn't go" and said that about just about every event. Now, why would I want to be in a sorority that doesn't want to attend their own events?? Anyway.. I dropped them, but still got invited back the next day, so...

It was now philanthropy day. I got better girls that day, but the last one I only had time to talk to for a minute. There were pictures of the girls doing philanthropic events on each table, and the active looked at a picture and say "Oh! That's my roommate/bestfriend, isn't she PRETTY?" I politely answered yes, because of course, she was, but then she asked "Don't you like her hair??" Once again, polite yes, because I did, it wasn't a lie, but I wasn't exactly sure why I was asked that and it definately made me uncomforable. Luckily we left right after that, but on the way out, she saw a picture of herself on another table and yelled "Oh my gosh! That is so cruel!!" and turned the picture of herself around! It was a great picture of course, and I know I sure wouldn't make a fool out of myself during rush like that no matter how bad of a picture it actually was.

Needless to say I didn't go back. Girls, seriously, we are all intelligent, involved, beautiful women, and so please "sell" (for lack of a better word) your sorority in a way that you would continually want it to be percived. I now know a ton of girls from that sorority, and they are all excellent! If by getting to know these girls I think they're great, I don't know why during rush we can't at least portray ourselves as being excellent, because I know we all are. Keep that in mind, you are making a reputation for your sorority to these girls during recrutment, so please respect yourselves and show off your sorority as a great one. I know they all are.

Why shouldn't that be kept quiet about the married woman wanted to rush

[aggiegphi]

Hopefully this doesn't happen to you, but if it does please be aware of your surroundings...
If you happen to have a break under the tents and are talking with your Rho Gammas/ Recruitment Counselors/etc. about your options of remaining houses, and the RCs suddenly start bashing the houses, a) please don't listen to them, b) don't engage further into that topic, c) tell a member of the Panhellenic staff/ Greek Life advisor about the incident.
This happened one year I was on Panhellenic staff and a member of the chapter being talked about was standing behind the Recruitment Counselors at the time, but they did not realize it.

Remember to have fun in ALL of the houses, trust me the girls will remember you later if you acted any in way rude or bored.

[alphagamgirl06]

What I am about to say has probably all ready been mention but I feel the need to give some advise to PNMs and Actives during Formal Recruitment. I have seen way to many things done and said that just shouldnt happen.


PNMs

• If you go to more than 1 pref party when it comes time to fill out your pref card please think about it long and hard. If you know that you went to a pref party for a chapter that you know you wont accept a bid from please dont rank them. I would never want to advise suiciding but in some cases I would rather you suicide than reject a bid. Just because on bid when that sorority is expecting you to run out with all the other new memebers and it is really sad when they give 22 bids and only 11 girls accept them. And if you do accept the bid to a chapter that wasnt your first choice on bid day please dont be rude and cry and ignore the sisters of that chapter.
• During a party never tell the active girl you dont like her chapter. How would you feel if somebody said they didnt like your whole family. Its not nice and just rude.
• Lastly, Please never tell an active you would cry if you dont get a bid from her chapter because you put her in a really awkward situation.

Actives

• When a girl tells you she she doesnt like your chapter please just smile and tell her that you are happy she is excited about joining greek life. Just because she is rude to you doesnt mean you should stoop down to her level.
• When bid day doesnt turn out the way you hoped please keep a smile on your face and celebrate your new members. You should never have a negative attitude on bid day.
• Please Please dont constantly talk about yourself when talking to a pnm. You are trying to get to know her if she ask you a question about yourself keep it short and sweet. Dont go on and on and on about yourself. If you must talk about yourself talk mainly about your chapter then.