Once you accept a bid... - Page 2

Pawn · #16 09-11-2008, 01:55 PM

My daughter is still not sure if she's going to join the chapter. I told her that she can quit before initiation and still rush again next fall. However, she said that they won't tell them when initiation is. She's afraid they'll just surprise them one day! Is that the way its done?

33girl · #17 09-11-2008, 01:58 PM

Withholding the date of initiation is a form of hazing. If they're pulling isht like that, maybe she does need to bail.

MaggieXi · #18 09-11-2008, 02:13 PM

Are they witholding the date from her, or do they not know exactly when it is? Most schools have dates set as to when new members must be initiated by.

Is this an NPC sorority?

agzg · #19 09-11-2008, 02:21 PM

Even if they do "surprise" her, and believe me, if they tell them or not, it's never really 100% a surprise, she can bail right up until they walk into the initiation room.

Unfortunately, although it is hazing, it's fairly common that new members don't know the date of their initiation. Active members think it "takes the fun" out of being a new member.

Here's a good clue that initiation is coming soon: New member educator says that the new members need a VERY specific outfit (coming all the way down to type of shoes, length of hem, etc), and that it's due by X day. Chapters try to get that stuff taken care of a couple of weeks before initiation.

Pawn · #20 09-11-2008, 02:26 PM

I believe so. I will check with her later to ask and get more specifics.

twhrider13 · #21 09-11-2008, 04:01 PM

There's a possibility that the actives just haven't set a date in concrete yet. I know in my chapter, we didn't always know for sure when initiation would be right after rush. DZ's new member program lasts for 10 weeks, so we knew which week we'd initiate, but we sometimes didn't have an exact date immediately. We don't have houses and had to reserve a place on campus for initiation, so sometimes we'd have to wait a few days to get all our ducks in a row between the chapter and the Student Life office.

Perhaps this is a similar situation?

Pawn · #22 09-11-2008, 10:40 PM

Wow, 10 weeks? Are the new member periods usually that long? I think she's afraid they'll just spring it on her sooner rather than later. And, I can't imagine her walking out at the last minute--awkward. I'll tell her to look out for the special clothing requirement clues. Thanks!

KSUViolet06 · #23 09-11-2008, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawn

Wow, 10 weeks? Are the new member periods usually that long? I think she's afraid they'll just spring it on her sooner rather than later. And, I can't imagine her walking out at the last minute--awkward. I'll tell her to look out for the special clothing requirement clues. Thanks!

In general, Panhellenic sorority new member periods range in length from 6-10 weeks (with one I can think of that is actually a full semester).

I know that personally we were required to tell the NMs when their intiation was scheduled (even if it was just a tentative month if we didn't have the exact date).

ree-Xi · #24 09-12-2008, 11:22 AM

Do any schools still wait until the next semester to initiate?

jwright25 · #25 09-12-2008, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Do any schools still wait until the next semester to initiate?

UT Chattanooga does.

gee_ess · #26 09-12-2008, 12:40 PM

From what I have seen, the trend for shorter new member periods, thus early initiation, seems to be based on each NPC group, not necessarily the campus. I know of only one NPC group that waits a full semester (give or take) to initiate -Chi O, but there may be others.

Pawn · #27 12-09-2008, 03:46 PM

Just wanted to let you all know that my daughter was recently initiated into her chapter. Although she's still not 100% sure that this was the right choice, she decided that she really wanted to be in a sorority. She's been going to the events that she feels comfortable with and will be living in the house next year. She wants to try and get a leadership position in the chapter, which I think is great. I also reminded her that next year there will be new members so more potential for "girls like her". I hope it works out and just wanted to thank you all again for all your great advice.

#28 12-09-2008, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawn

Just wanted to let you all know that my daughter was recently initiated into her chapter. Although she's still not 100% sure that this was the right choice, she decided that she really wanted to be in a sorority. She's been going to the events that she feels comfortable with and will be living in the house next year. She wants to try and get a leadership position in the chapter, which I think is great. I also reminded her that next year there will be new members so more potential for "girls like her". I hope it works out and just wanted to thank you all again for all your great advice.

How wonderful for your daughter! It's wonderful that she wants to get involved and that she'll be living in the house next year. She'll be at 100% in no time.

ComradesTrue · #29 12-09-2008, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawn

I also reminded her that next year there will be new members so more potential for "girls like her".

You have given her wonderful words of wisdom. So many new members/new initiates forget that 25% (give or take) of the chapter turns over ever year. Now she will be able to help select the next class, which, as you state, is potential for more "girls like her."

AXOrushadvisor · #30 12-09-2008, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawn

I was never in a sorority but have been trying to give my daughter, a freshman some good advice. I've been reading tons of posts on this site and your stories/answers have been great. My daughter recently finished recruitment and ended up with a bid to a chapter she did not feel comfortable with. Don't get me wrong, its a great chapter and many girls she knows were thrilled with their bids. She just does not feel that it is the place for her. She's kind of shy and not a big partier, like many of the girls in the chapter. Anyway, I encouraged her to accept the bid, which she did. Now she's worried she did the wrong thing. If she decides to quit now, before initiation, does that preclude her from going through COB this year or rushing again next year? Would she have been better off not listing this chapter after preference night and only going with one choice (she obviously did not get her first choice and would not have received any bid)? Or not accepting the bid? I'm worried I gave her bad advice. She's very disappointed--help!

Have her give it a chance. My guess is there are some girls like her in the house. In the end if it is not a good fit she can try again next year, but that is hard. Single preferencing is tough because at a lot of campuses it is not seen as totaly participating which can limit your options. I think she did the right thing. She can not COB this year and has to wait until 1 year from when she got the bid.