? about your weddings

[RaggedyAnn]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Maybe it's a regional thing (or maybe I'm reading your post too literally), but I've never seen groomsman walk up the aisle with bridesmaids. I'm used to seeing (and doing, the times I have been a groomsman -- quite possible, I admit) the groomsmen come in first, followed by bridesmaids. They do escort the bridesmaids out, though.

Side question: Although I don't always see this tradition followed, it is very much the tradition in these parts for the groom to ask his father to be his best man. Do people see that elsewhere?

Who is escorted down and when also varies by religion. I did a lot of research on this trying to accomodate the recent divorce of my inlaws. I also had both of my parents walk me down the aisle, which is traditionally Jewish I believe, where as Roman Catholics traditionally just have Dad.

It depends on who you want here for a Best Man. I have seen Dads, but also brothers, friends and sons.

[AGDee]

Most often I've seen the groomsmen act as ushers as well. Occasionally I've seen a few extra ushers, depending on the size of the bridal party and the size of the wedding itself. You don't want people waiting to be seated because you only have 2 ushers and 300 people. I believe the recommended back in my day was one usher per 50 guests.

I've seen groomsmen do it both ways, walking the bridesmaids down the aisle and waiting by groom. In both cases, they escorted the bridesmaids out. I think which way you do it is just the church's standard and personal preference.

ETA: I've never seen a Dad be a best man. I've seen a son be a best man in a second, older marriage.

[Army Wife'79]

I noticed when I moved "down South" (GA, SC & AL) that a lot of Dads are the "Best Man". I had never seen that when I was stationed up North or in the Midwest. Isn't it interesting how regional things are? (i.e. the whole "cookie table" notion in another thread)

[ISUKappa]

Coming from a Midwestern perspective:

I've never seen the dad be the best man before. Usually it's either a brother or close friend. For our wedding, it was the husband's best friend who also introduced us.

The groomsmen waited up front and the bridesmaids walked down the aisle for our Lutheran wedding. The groomsmen escorted the bridesmaids during the recessional. At my sister's Catholic wedding, we walked both the processional and the recessional with the groomsmen.

We had a rather large wedding (230ish guests), which is one reason why we opted for additional ushers. The groomsmen did not seat any guests.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I've only ever seen groomsmen one time, and they walked up w/ the maids.

Originally Posted by WinniBug

I usually see groomsmen escorting the bridesmaids up the aisle...except the best man/maid of honor. He's usually waiting at the front of the church with the minister and groom, and she walks down alone.

Interesting. I've never seen groomsmen escort bridesmaids up the aisle. With the exception I note below, I've invariably seen the groom, best man and clergy wait at the front, the groomsmen come up the aisle in pairs and stand to the side of the groom, followed by the bridesmaids and then MOH, who come in one-by-one and stand next to the bride. The groomsmen do escort the bridesmaids out.

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

Who is escorted down and when also varies by religion. I did a lot of research on this trying to accomodate the recent divorce of my inlaws. I also had both of my parents walk me down the aisle, which is traditionally Jewish I believe, where as Roman Catholics traditionally just have Dad.

Very true. I've been to Jewish weddings where both the bride and the groom were "escorted" in by both parents. I've been to Episcopal weddings where everyone processed -- a crucifer leading, followed by clergy, groomsmen, BM, groom, bridesmaids, MOH, bride.

Originally Posted by AGDee

I've seen groomsmen do it both ways, walking the bridesmaids down the aisle and waiting by groom. In both cases, they escorted the bridesmaids out. I think which way you do it is just the church's standard and personal preference.

I would think it also has a lot to do with regional tradition. Few things bring out the tradtion sentiment more than weddings. Seriously, I can just see a bride around here saying that she wants the groomsmen to escort the bridesmaids in, and her mother and the wedding director shaking their heads and saying "that's not how it's done."

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

I noticed when I moved "down South" (GA, SC & AL) that a lot of Dads are the "Best Man". I had never seen that when I was stationed up North or in the Midwest. Isn't it interesting how regional things are? (i.e. the whole "cookie table" notion in another thread)

That's really what I was getting at -- whether this is mainly a Southern thing. It certainly doesn't happen all the time, but I would guess that in about 80% of the weddings I've been to, the groom's dad was his best man. My father was mine and my brother's.

[ForeverRoses]

The church were we were married had the pews set up in a "+"shape - so the bridesmaids walked to the mid point break in the pews where the groomsmen then met them and walked them in the rest of the way. The best man was up front with my husband. Not sure why we did it that way, other than the church's wedding person told us to do it that way.

We had two additional ushers but the groomsmen helped out seating people as well. The ushers were the ones that escourted in the parents right before the processional.

And the father as best man thing is definitely regional, in Evansville it was really common, but here in Indy I have yet to see it.

[WinniBug]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Interesting. I've never seen groomsmen escort bridesmaids up the aisle. With the exception I note below, I've invariably seen the groom, best man and clergy wait at the front, the groomsmen come up the aisle in pairs and stand to the side of the groom, followed by the bridesmaids and then MOH, who come in one-by-one and stand next to the bride. The groomsmen do escort the bridesmaids out.

So the groomsmen escort each other down the aisle? Now that I've never seen.

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

The church were we were married had the pews set up in a "+"shape - so the bridesmaids walked to the mid point break in the pews where the groomsmen then met them and walked them in the rest of the way. The best man was up front with my husband. Not sure why we did it that way, other than the church's wedding person told us to do it that way.

You just reminded me...my husband was in a wedding where the aisles were somewhat of a "Y" shape and the groomsmen and bridesmaids both started out at opposite ends of the "Y" at the same time and met up in the middle, and continued the rest of the way towards the alter together.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by WinniBug

So the groomsmen escort each other down the aisle? Now that I've never seen.

LOL. No, they're not arm-in-arm, just side-by-side.

And come to think of it, I do sometimes see them come in one-by-one rather than in pairs. But it always seemed like the idea was that nobody cared about looking at the groomsmen like they care about looking at the bridesmaids, so you get the groomsmen in fast, and then slow down for the bridesmaids.

[carnation]

I had never seen groomsmen come down the aisle with the bridesmaids before--I'd only seen them wait up front with the groom--and then AXOAlum, who was the coordinator at our oldest's wedding, suggested that they walk up the aisle with the bridesmaids. It was so appropriate! The music was bouncy and Scottish (from "Braveheart") and it worked out beautifully.

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Actually I've been to only a couple weddings that actually had ushers. People just walked in and found their seats.

And I went to one wedding where the groomsmen picked up the bridesmaids about 2/3 way down the aisle-it was the most awkward looking thing.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I've been to Episcopal weddings where everyone processed -- a crucifer leading, followed by clergy, groomsmen, BM, groom, bridesmaids, MOH, bride.

See, that's interesting. My wife and I are Episcopal and were married in an Episcopal ceremony, and we didn't do it that way. The clergy was up at the front of the church with myself and my groomsmen when the bridesmaids and bride walked down the aisle.

The church where we were married (Trinity in Boston) is an old-school Episcopal Church, so I don't think they were using any new spin on the ceremony.

I guess there's more variation within my own church then I thought.

[LucyKKG]

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

I also had both of my parents walk me down the aisle, which is traditionally Jewish I believe, where as Roman Catholics traditionally just have Dad.

This made me think of something similar (well, kinda). Has anyone seen a bride get walked down the aisle by her father and step-father? I feel like they did that at a wedding I went to a couple of years ago, but I'm not sure.

I'd kind of like to do that (someday), but I don't want to hurt either of their feelings. (Step-dad for being excluded or Dad for not being the only one) What do you think?

Btw, my step-dad and mom have been married since I was ten.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

See, that's interesting. My wife and I are Episcopal and were married in an Episcopal ceremony, and we didn't do it that way. The clergy was up at the front of the church with myself and my groomsmen when the bridesmaids and bride walked down the aisle.

The church where we were married (Trinity in Boston) is an old-school Episcopal Church, so I don't think they were using any new spin on the ceremony.

I guess there's more variation within my own church then I thought.

Maybe I should have clarified that I have been to one or two Episcopal weddings where the wedding party entered that way. The gazillion other Episcopal weddings I've been to, or been in, were more like your description of yours.

And Trinity is gorgeous -- a beautiful site for a wedding.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by LucyKKG

This made me think of something similar (well, kinda). Has anyone seen a bride get walked down the aisle by her father and step-father? I feel like they did that at a wedding I went to a couple of years ago, but I'm not sure.

I'd kind of like to do that (someday), but I don't want to hurt either of their feelings. (Step-dad for being excluded or Dad for not being the only one) What do you think?

I've never seen it, but I have heard of it. It's your wedding and you want to make it happy for everyone - I would go for it.

When a friend of mine remarried, her daughters (7 & 9 at the time) walked her down the aisle and then "gave" her in marriage. It was cute.

Then she promised to love, honor and OBEY...not so cute.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Maybe I should have clarified that I have been to one or two Episcopal weddings where the wedding party entered that way. The gazillion other Episcopal weddings I've been to, or been in, were more like your description of yours.

And Trinity is gorgeous -- a beautiful site for a wedding.

Ah ok - that makes more sense. The only Episcopal wedding I've attended is my own, so I'm fairly limited in my knowledge.

Trinity is great; my wife and I were members when we lived in Boston and attended regularly. It's one of the main things we miss about living in the city.