Rejected - Page 2

TSteven · #16 04-10-2008, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fonuconk

My university breaks down into trimesters, I recently rushed for a fraternity and received a bid. Then a few days later I got a call from my pledgemaster saying that they had a meeting and some of the older brothers were not there for the bidding and wanted me to "party with them to get to know them better" and rush again in the fall. Does this normally happen? Any advice to weather or not they were serious about this? Everything is kept a secret I do not know if they really want me back. I really wanted to join greek life and was majorly turned down and depressed by this. I couldn't understand, if they didn't want me why give me a bid in the first place?

Does this normally happen? No. However, it does. On many campuses, for an IFC bid to be official, it needs to be signed by the chapter (the president or rush chair or whoever is officially designated to sign the bid) and by the rushee (i.e. you). It may also need to be recorded with the college administration by a certain date or time. Some bids may need to be signed by the rushee by a certain time/date. Not all chapters - even at the same campus - have the same time lines. If one of these things were needed, but not met, then they may be allowed to resend their bid.

So were they serious? I would hope so. As hard as it may be to believe, there may be a "good" reason why they did what they did. If you are truly interested in pledging this fraternity, then I would suggest you talk to either the pledgemaster, the president or the rush chair. As you noted "older brothers were not there for the bidding and wanted me to 'party with them to get to know them better' ". Ask them what that means. And if you feel comfortable doing so, ask them your realistic chances of receiving a bid in the fall. Or at least try to get a better understanding of what happened. You may also want to talk with any other GLO members you know well (sorority women might be more forthcoming with you) and ask them if they know anything specific going on with this chapter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fonuconk

This happened to me and someone else. We were both given formal bids, majority of the brothers stood outside my dorm and handed me my bid invitation and had a big party for the pledges afterwards. A few days later is when I got the call. They gave out 6 bids and took back two. Is this even allowed?

It really depends on the IFC policy at your school. You may want to check with the Greek Life Office regarding the policy. If you are still interested in that chapter, I would suggest that you do not be accusatory toward the chapter at all. Word may get back and you might not receive a bid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fonuconk

Will that have an impact with other fraternities if I decide to rush again for another one? I'm scared they will trash my name and I don't want to go through this kind of rejection again. I just cant get it through my head why they would do that to someone. I thought a few times about calling headquarters and finding out more but I know I will end up hated by everyone if I did that. There must be some rule about this. I still have my bid card; it was signed by the sage and the rush chairman.

*Generally speaking*, it should not matter. But again it depends on the campus culture. When a chapter releases someone the way they did you, it more often reflects poorly on the chapter and not you. As such, if you elect to rush again at other chapters, I would not even bring it up. And by all means, take the high road and do not trash this chapter. If someone asks you during rush what happened, tell them you do not know the specifics but that you were told that the "older brothers" were not there during the bidding process so you had to wait until fall.

I wish you the best of luck.

TSteven · #17 04-10-2008, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Any IFCers, correct me if this is wrong, but I think you will be eligible to join another fraternity the next term. I wouldn't join this one again.

If there are no campus IFC rules against it, he is eligible to pledge another fraternity right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SECdomination

I don't think they took away your bid. Sounds like they depledged you, which is perfectly acceptable.

Depledging isn't a rare occurance. Maybe happening so close to receiving the bid is weird, but nothing else about the situation screams "dickhead" to me.

If he has participated in the pledge initiation, then it would be a de-pledging. However, it sounds like he was never initiated as a pledge.

EE-BO · #18 04-11-2008, 12:49 AM

SECdomination and Elephant Walk- I agree for the most part with what you said. Weeding out is a necessary process.

But this particular case strikes me as very odd since it happened so fast. It just does not make sense to me that a bid would be extended and then retracted so quickly.

To the original poster- how big is this chapter? How many members are there? That seems like a small spring class- though at certain schools even strong chapters often take 10 or less in the spring.

Either way, I say forget about bothering with them again. Whoever is truly "right or wrong" here, they have dissed you and so there is no sense in worrying about it anymore.

Go ahead and rush again. It cannot hurt. Don't worry about this chapter anymore or let it affect your future decision making. While I think it is perfectly acceptable and a good idea for a fraternity to drop pledges as needed during the pledge period, it needs to happen for a specific reason.

And unless there is something you are not telling us- the time frame you have posted suggests that you were either not pledged in good faith, or were not dropped for the kind of valid reason that emerges with some pledges over time and was not spotted during rush.

It will be hard for you to ever find out why this happened- but if you are good friends with any sorority girls who have friends in that fraternity, that might be a good way to find out just for your future reference.

PhiGam · #19 04-14-2008, 12:27 AM

Yes its allowed, my chapter does it quite frequently. If fraternities don't take a unanimous vote on all bids then this can happen.

PhiGam · #20 04-14-2008, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

We depledge around five guys a fall semester.

Same here. We initiated 33/51 last semester.

Elephant Walk · #21 04-14-2008, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SECdomination

Those numbers are crazy to me. The most we've gotten rid of since I've been here was 3/31, so we initiated 28/31. One or two don't make it each semester- our bid meetings are hell.
33 is nothing to scoff at, but why lose 18 men during the pledge process? Just to find the best of the class and keep them? I'm not asking for specifics or anything, just curious.

That's why we do it...our numbers are very, very similar. Some can't make it, even though we aren't asking them to do bows and toes on glass or some dangerous or homoerotic hazing. I guess the stress of always being alert gets to some people. We'll depledge around 5 and then get rid of the worthless by other means.

bellwisdom · #22 04-14-2008, 02:58 PM

I say forget about them and rush a better group next trimester.

Tom Earp · #23 04-14-2008, 04:29 PM

Remeber one thing, it is not a right to join or be invited.

It is a privleige.

Tom Earp · #24 04-14-2008, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhiGam

Same here. We initiated 33/51 last semester.

And in respones to this I wonder why?

There are two reasons to boot someone!

They did not pay their bills or their GPA was not right!

If you did a good recruitment job then the % should have been higher. Or was it a pig in a poke rush?

Elephant Walk · #25 04-14-2008, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

And in respones to this I wonder why?

There are two reasons to boot someone!

They did not pay their bills or their GPA was not right!

If you did a good recruitment job then the % should have been higher. Or was it a pig in a poke rush?

No, there are plenty of reasons to boot someone. We go into rush planning on booting at least 5 and trying to get others to quit.

macallan25 · #26 04-14-2008, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

And in respones to this I wonder why?

There are two reasons to boot someone!

They did not pay their bills or their GPA was not right!

If you did a good recruitment job then the % should have been higher. Or was it a pig in a poke rush?

Tommy Boy, there are countless other reasons to give a pledge the boot besides not paying your dues and not having a high GPA.

Hell, I really don't even really care about GPA. Usually the ones that can't make the minimum requirements are just held over. Some kids have a tough time with school their first semester of college, I didn't, but I can understand some that do. If they are just blowing shit off, I don't have much sympathy, but if they show that they actually made an honest effort to do well.......I'm not one to ruin their year because of it.

Tom Earp · #27 04-15-2008, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

No, there are plenty of reasons to boot someone. We go into rush planning on booting at least 5 and trying to get others to quit.

That is one of the most ignorant things I have ever seen or heard!

Tom Earp · #28 04-15-2008, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macallan25

Tommy Boy, there are countless other reasons to give a pledge the boot besides not paying your dues and not having a high GPA.

Hell, I really don't even really care about GPA. Usually the ones that can't make the minimum requirements are just held over. Some kids have a tough time with school their first semester of college, I didn't, but I can understand some that do. If they are just blowing shit off, I don't have much sympathy, but if they show that they actually made an honest effort to do well.......I'm not one to ruin their year because of it.

First off, I am not your Tommy Boy!

And, I do agree with you on your previous statement! If they cannot abide by what is needed of them or they just piss it off, then they should be gone.

But for some to say that they expect to get rid of people gauls me.

If they are not good enough to work with and try to make it, do not recruit them except just to show numbers!

banditone · #29 04-15-2008, 02:34 PM

Well, not just to show numbers.... $$$$

srmom · #30 04-15-2008, 02:48 PM

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gauls me

- Gaul -

Quote:

An ancient region of western Europe south and west of the Rhine River, west of the Alps, and north of the Pyrenees, corresponding roughly to modern-day France and Belgium. The Romans extended the designation to include northern Italy, particularly after Julius Caesar's conquest of the area in the Gallic Wars

gall -

Quote:

To trouble the nerves or peace of mind of, especially by repeated vexations