Daughter's 08 Recruitment - Page 2

cuteASAbug · #16 01-24-2008, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SthrnZeta

I think that's what we assumed. In that case, it is a rush infraction and the chapter could be fined or punished in some way if the school's Panhel were to find out...

Not all schools have a rule against facebook for recruitment. I know of several where there aren't such rules.

SthrnZeta · #17 01-24-2008, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

Not all schools have a rule against facebook for recruitment. I know of several where there aren't such rules.

It's not about Facebook specifically, but contact in general that there's a rule against, and I'm sure friending someone on Facebook counts as contact.

cuteASAbug · #18 01-24-2008, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SthrnZeta

It's not about Facebook specifically, but contact in general that there's a rule against, and I'm sure friending someone on Facebook counts as contact.

I think it's one of those things that's not necessarily kosher even though technically there isn't a rule against it. Yet. I wouldn't be surprised to see an NPC unanimous agreement regarding facebook in the near future, or to see facebook added to the current unanimous agreement.

Benzgirl · #19 01-24-2008, 05:34 PM

Only speaking from my chapter:
An affiliate is a member in good standing that has transfer from another school to your school.

08rushmom · #20 01-24-2008, 05:34 PM

Called daughter to ask about "rules." She said they are not supposed to be communicating. Also found out that some girls on her dorm floor found out this girl is VP of Recruitment of this sorority. They are all scared to say anything.

FSUZeta · #21 01-24-2008, 05:49 PM

of course the pnms are afraid to say anything. maybe someone could anon. slip a note to a rho gamma-or under the panhellenic office door. what a shame that one sorority member thinks the rules don't apply to her!

i do know that sorority members are pretty good about policing each other.i have assisted during recruitment at campuses where something like this went on. the guilty parties usually get caught, but in a situation like this, those pnms are probably afraid not to accept the sorority member as a friend, for fear they will not get a bid. something needs to be done quickly, so that that bit of pressure is lifted off the pnms.

but back to the regularly scheduled program:your daughters recruitment! best wishes to her that she has a great time and gets the bid she wants.

mh*e · #22 01-24-2008, 05:51 PM

They shouldn't be scared! The chapter might be disciplined, but obviously they won't be informed of who exactly turned them in. It won't hurt their recruitment chances.

I think it is important to maintain some sort of equal footing during recruitment, and having one GLO's membership VP "friending" PNMs is not appropriate.

With my school's NPC, all affiliated women are supposed to have their Facebook profiles on private so that PNMs can't view them even if they are deliberately seeking them out. That's how seriously it is taken.

08rushmom · #23 01-24-2008, 05:58 PM

but back to the regularly scheduled program:your daughters recruitment! best wishes to her that she has a great time and gets the bid she wants.

. . .Thanks! I hope she lets me know about invites relatively soon after their meeting! Will keep you posted.

08rushmom · #24 01-25-2008, 01:41 AM

Tough night for daughter! Invited back to Lilly and Iris. She asked me to keep my fingers crossed that things go well for next round at Lilly. She does not see herself at Iris. Was so, so dissapointed in having so many cuts (especially Dahlia and Tulip), but knew she was not the only one that this happened with. Sounds like the PMNs are being supportive of each other and sharing their dissapointents.

IlliniMeg · #25 01-25-2008, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 08rushmom

Tough night for daughter! Invited back to Lilly and Iris. She asked me to keep my fingers crossed that things go well for next round at Lilly. She does not see herself at Iris. Was so, so dissapointed in having so many cuts (especially Dahlia and Tulip), but knew she was not the only one that this happened with. Sounds like the PMNs are being supportive of each other and sharing their dissapointents.

Awww. I've been there and it is devastating! Hopefully she keeps her options open.

Speaking from experience in joining a chapter I did not see myself in, those chapters can sometimes really an amazing experience. They truly can be a diamond in the rough. I know I would never have developed the leadership abilities, or formed as deep relationships with my sisters as I did or even been given the opportunities that for me have really shaped my life, had it not been for my chapter.

But having two chapters to go back to is great! It only takes one!

Good luck to your daughter!

PiPhiERDoc · #26 01-25-2008, 01:45 PM

A similar thing has gone on at our campus, also with deferred formal recruitment - one of the chapters on our campus sent IM to the freshman the week before formal rush, with messages like "can't wait to meet you", ect...I think your daughter and her friends reaction is just why this shouldn't be done, it makes the PNM's uncomfortable! Our chapter closed all of their facebook accounts the week they were back for polish week just to be sure that NOTHING like this happens.

The ironic thing is that the group that did this was the chapter that turns in more recruitment infraction complaints against other chapters than all of the other chapters combined...

Thetagirl218 · #27 01-25-2008, 07:07 PM

I soo love this thread!!!!! I love it when Mom's tell the recruitments stories!!!

I wish her the best of luck, and I look forward to hearing more!!!!

08rushmom · #28 01-26-2008, 06:03 PM

Who knew (well, you guys probably did) this sorority rush stuff could and would keep a mom up all night because she couldn't stop worrying and couldn't bear the thought of her daughter being so dissapointed? I have been an absolute basket case, to the point of having a hard time functioning at all yesterday (it was a gloomy day though). Eventually I got up and got out and focused on something other than myself and my thoughts--it is scary how we can be so selfish even when genuinely concerned about a loved one. Bottom line--I have absolutely no control over this situation!

So on to daughter's story. . .

Even though so disspointed and confused by her hard initial cuts, when I taked to her for a few minutes last night before skit parties she said "mom, I am just reminding myself that I should never let a bad day cause me to give up." Hummm, wish I had thought of that!

She then proceeded to remind me that it was difficult to talk on the phone while applying makeup and with a quick "love ya mom" was gone. She was off to Lilly and Iris and mom is still pretty obsessed, but happy that her daughter got her good sense from somewhere in the genes!

SWTXBelle · #29 01-26-2008, 07:15 PM

Awww . . .hang in there, mom. Your daughter sounds like she has just the right attitude. She has two parties to go to - here's hoping she loves them both! (It is not unusual for a house to "grow" on you once it boils down to a few.)

08rushmom · #30 01-26-2008, 11:04 PM

No more cuts this afternoon, and a very happy daughter! She attended Lilly and Iris last night. Here is the rundown--the few details I have:

Lilly-She was so happy to go back and very comfortable here. She has been interested in this sorority since visiting last year before enrolling. Turns out her "not sure of fit" reaction 1st night was more about really wanting to be asked back. She has a lot in common with the girls, felt "at home," and loves their philanthropy as well as this chapter's philanthropy activities that put the girls out in the community for service activities. Her host was someone she knows, and she thought it went well and was thrilled. Skeptical mom here thinks the host may have asked for her because she needed to be convinced she would be OK with her as a sister. I have reasons for thinking this, but we won't go into them here. Generally, I am pretty intuitive.

Iris-Her experience here was not great. I believe she went in with an open mind and wanting very much to find that things could click. Conversation was strained and she read some of it as "they almost acted desperate." She commented that she knows these quick impressions are hard, that she was certain all of the girls were great people, she just didn't see being a part of this group.

Invites for preference parties came this afternoon and she was hoping for an invite from Lilly and would have not been dissapointed to be cut from Iris. Well . . .

She is probably at her 2nd preference party for the night! She was thrilled to get invite from Lilly and going to keep an open mind about Iris for the party. However, she is learning toward suiciding Lilly, whatever that really means. She said it is discouraged, but after speaking with her Rho Gamma she was pretty certain she would rather try again than turn down a bid from Iris and not be able to rush again for a year. I don't know much about all of this, but it sounds like she has thought it through.

I am keeping my finger's crossed for her--thinking Lilly!