Police stories

[AXiD Sweetie]

These were funny... My only run in with the cops wasn't funny! (but it was expensive. I had to pay $100 and I didn't even have to pay the ticket!) Does anyone else have any new stories to add?

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by KSig RC
I'm a fan of the term "junk" myself - especially b/c so few use it; definitely can have shock-value humor.

Dear god. This thread is where I got that term from? I've been using it since. All the chicks I know HATE when I use the term. Wow. Never been able to pinpoint where a common phrase came from till now.

[Dionysus]

bump

I was on the way home the other night, as I arrived about a block from my subdivision, this car was driving on the line. He was driving really erratic. I got scared because I was on a two-way road and I didn't want to have a head on collision or get side-swiped. It was kind of dark and I could not tell what kind of car it was. So, I laid on my horn and rolled my eyes. As we passed side by side, I noticed that the car said County Police. I turned quickly into my subdivision and made a bunch of turns. Luckily I did not get into trouble.

[recentASAalum]

one of my friends decided to teach me and another friend of ours how to drive stick in her car... se we bascially just circled the block in her subdivision over and over again... it was about midnight on a summer night... after going around the block about 10 times we get pulled over by this cop... and he's like what are you guys doing... now being in high school we were all scared out of our minds... we explained to him we were learning to drive stick and he's like ok go home... turns out this little old lady had seen us go around the block a whole bunch of times really slow and was convinced we were checking out the neighborhood to rob some of the houses in it... so she called the police on us!!!!

[ZTAngel]

My friend told me this story.
A little while back, she and a few others were at a big event going on in Downtown Orlando. Whenever there's big events that bring in lots of people, all the crazy fundies come out. There was this one guy that was preaching how women should dress like virgins and how women have no morals. He was really pissing people off. The cops were standing by him to help with crowd control. My friend could tell the cops were getting a kick out of this guy and were hoping that he'd do something wrong so that they could arrest him. My drunk friend went over to cops and said, "If I flashed this guy, would I get arrested?" The cops laughed and one said, "As long as we don't see it" and winked. So, my friend flashed the guy and he went running away like he had just seen satan or something. The cops were laughing and thanking her.

[_Opi_]

One time, me and some friends were trying to make a u-turn in a big street (the ones with the island dividing the incoming and outgoing traffic). So, we patiently wait by the island waiting to complete our turn, and I guess my friend gets really impatient, and makes the turn really quick, cutting off another car. Well, that car we nearly collided with was a cop car. He pulled us over, laughing. He was like, y'all are brave.

So he is checking the registration on the car..and we are SURE he is going to give us a huge ass ticket. He just said, we made his day, and we wont be getting a ticket, and to not cut off another police car next time!

[aephi alum]

These stories are great!

Ok. I live on a dead-end street. Every year, one of my neighbors goes up to New Hampshire to buy fireworks. On the evening of the Fourth of July, everyone on the block gathers at the end of the road and drinks beer, and he shoots them off.

A couple of years ago, our neighbor got through about 2/3 of his fireworks when suddenly a cop car pulled up and out jumped a cop. This particular cop is a tiny woman who looks to be around 18 or so (actually I think she's about 25). She came running up to us and demanded of my neighbor, "Okay, where's the stash?"

She could have gotten my neighbor for owning fireworks, and she could have gotten most of us for standing around on a street with open beer bottles. Instead, she just ordered my neighbor to destroy the remaining fireworks, and left.

A lot of teenagers do shoot off illegal fireworks on the Fourth. When the cops got a complaint about fireworks on my street, they assumed it was more teenagers. The cop was quite surprised when she pulled up and found, not teens, but homeowners - you know, the people whose property taxes pay her salary.

[DeltAlum]

Used to drink with lots of cops in Columbus and later in Denver and spent a fair amount of time in a cop bar in Detroit.

Lots of stories told, but none repeated here.

[MaMaBuddha]

wow...funny stories.


wish i could share some...cops around here arrest you for having dreads and eating popeyes.

the other day my neighbor is going to work of course he wears loccs, about 8 police cars pull up and at least 12 cops jump out with pistols aimed at him. they grab him and throw him on the ground and start frisking him. he's yelling because they scared the hell outta him. no one tells him for at least 20 minutes why he is arrested. they detain him for half a day

the gas station down the street gets robbed, by a guy with loccs. mean while the guy that robs the gas station looks nothing like him. he is lighter in complexion.


hey, it's the dirty 30. the most crooked precinct in the city.

[Tom Earp]

WOW, nice Hood Neighbor! Scarry aint it?

I hated to write Tickest, rather Chew Butt untill they go stupid, OOPs Paper time!

Now, HP is different, they are ruthless.

Stopped a Dude, and was going to Hospital, Pregnant Wife, IK, no wife, alone in car and tipsy. Go To Jail, did not pass go!

[Tom Earp]

Subject: A POLICE OFFICER SPEAKS



A POLICE OFFICER SPEAKS (The author of this article was Trooper Mitchell Brown of the Virginia State Police. More about him at the end.)

Well, Mr. Citizen, it seems you've figured me out. I fit neatly into the category where you've placed me.

I'm stereotyped, standardized, characterized, classified, grouped, and always typical.

Unfortunately, the reverse is true. I can never figure you out.

From birth, you teach your children that I'm the bogeyman, then you're shocked when they identify/associate with my traditional enemy... the criminal! You accuse me of coddling criminals..until I catch your kids doing wrong.

You may take an hour for lunch and several coffee breaks each day, but point me out as a loafer for having one cup. You pride yourself on you manners, but think nothing of disrupting my meals with your troubles.

You raise Cain with the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but let me catch you doing the same thing and I'm picking on you. You know all the traffic laws...but you've never gotten a single ticket you deserve.

You shout "FOUL" if you observe me driving fast to a call, but raise the roof if I take more than ten seconds to respond to your complaint.

You call it part of my job if someone strikes me, but call it police brutality if I strike back. You wouldn't think of telling your dentist how to pull a tooth or your doctor how to take out an appendix, yet you are always willing to give me pointers on the law.

You talk to me in a manner that would get you a bloody nose from anyone else, but expect me to take it without batting an eye.

You yell that something's got to be done to fight crime, but you can't be bothered to get involved. You have no use for me at all, but of course it's OK if I change a flat for your wife, deliver your child in the back of the patrol car, or perhaps save your son's life with mouth to mouth breathing, or work many hours overtime looking for your lost daughter.

So Mr. Citizen, you can stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my work,calling me every name in the book, but never stop to think that your property, family, or maybe even your life depends on me or one of my buddies. Yes, Mr. Citizen, it's me the cop!

The Author of this article was Trooper Mitchell Brown of the Virginia State Police. He was killed in the line of duty two months after writing the article......

AS A SALUTE TO THE MILLIONS OF POLICE OFFICERS WHO PUT THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE FOR MR AND MRS CITIZEN,EVERYDAY AND NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN..PLEASE PASS THIS ON!!!

As My Closest Friend A Police Officer says, "TRUE THAT".

Respect, they have Their Lives on the line daily.

[omegamcgee]

Here's a good one. My friends and I were driving to another city, about an hour and a half away. We had to drive through this little hick town, and I really just wanted to get there. So I was going about 60 in a 45. A cop pulled me over, and before he could even say anything, I said:
"Did you pull me over because I was speeding? I'm so glad you did! My spedometer has been making a funny noise and I didn't know if it worked!"
And he totally bought it! He just wanted to run my license. However, we had about $150 worth of booze in the trunk, and none of us were 21. We all had our windows down, and my stupid ass friend goes "Don't look in the trunk!" while he was beside her window.
Luckily for us, he didn't hear her, and I just got the "make sure you get it fixed" line.
We never let her go on a road trip with us again, especially with alcohol. EVER.
And my spedometer does make a funny noise. So I didn't feel too bad.

[sageofages]

My uncle, living in Hartford, CT, is known for his lead foot.

My mom likes to relate this story.....

YEARS ago, he was behind the wheel driving home from a family trip. He was pulled over for speeding along a highway in Northern Indiana, this was in the late 1950's....

The officer who pulled him over, walked up to the open window of the car and said "son, let me see your flying license." Where my uncle looked over at his dad, and my grandpa said "show the officer". My uncle pulled out his pilot's license and handed it to him ....

The officer just started laughing and said to my grandpa as he wrote the ticket, "If he had gone under 100 mph just once, I would have let him go"

Those were the days....