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I haven't watched the show, but I can say from my college experience, that casual sex is a college thing and is in no way exclusive to the Greek System.
In high school, there is more of a tendency to pair off as a boyfriend/girlfriend pairing. In college, there's a newfound sense of freedom and less interest in having any major attachments. Plus, no parents. A lot of teens find this first taste of freedom to experiment with sex, drugs, and alcohol.
I know plenty of girls who came to college never having even kissed a boy. By the end of their first semesters, they more than made up for it.
College brings a whole new set of temptations and challenges. Please talk to your children while they are still in your home.
They need to know about responsible drinking (because they are going to drink or at least think about it, regardless of what a good kid they've been in your home).
They need to know about drugs. They also need to know there are people out there who will try to slip something into their drinks if they are out on the town. They need some basic socialization survival skills.
They need to know about relationships. Not just safe sex and STDs-- that part has been pushed in their faces since middle school. They need to know that having sex or "hooking up" with a lot of people isn't only unsafe, it isn't the way to advertise your single status or show your interest in a boy or girl.
Talk to your kids about self-respect. I had a girlfriend my freshman year who was one of those girls. She'd never even been on a date before she started college. Her parents were very strict. She lost her virginity in her first week at school, "stalked" the guy to continue to hook up with him, and bragged about it. She also slept with a bunch of other guys and was actually proud of herself-- and then cried when they didn't call back. She ended that fabulous first semester with an abysmal GPA, and ended up flunking out of school after the first year. The girl was on an emotional rollercoaster the whole year... I'm sure a lot of it could have been avoided if her parents had just talked to her about self-respect and self-esteem.
Talk to your kids about stress. Mental illnesses start to show around this age. The stress of being away from home for the first time, combined with the stress of trying to do well in school, acclimate, combined with peer pressure, etc., can contribute to a mental break. Teach your kids coping mechanisms to deal with stress.
Mainly... talk to your kids. Make sure they know how to feed and clothe themselves. Educate them about credit cards, managing their checkbooks, and doing laundry. Encourage them to respect themselves and prioritize the things that are important.
They need to know that their actions have consequences, even after they have left your home.
Whether or not they join a sorority/fraternity, your child is going out into the world when s/he leaves home for college. Your job as a parent isn't over yet. You have a lot to talk about.
ETA: Please remember that the university administration views your 18-year old as an adult. College administrators and faculty are not employed to parent your child. Same goes for the Orientation Team and RAs. So please don't send him/her off into the world with the expectation that the RA is going to kick visitors out after 10 PM and take the beer out of Junior's hand. No one is supervising your kid except for your kid once they leave your house.
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Last edited by adpiucf; 07-30-2007 at 11:42 AM.
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