Should I stay or go?

[damasa]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It clearly seems as if you have your mind made up to leave. What is the point of asking if you should leave if you have already made up your mind?

I'd suggest maybe not being so harsh in your answers to this girl. She's obviously going through a rough transitional period and continued response of "leave" probably isnt the best answer.

She's asking because she's seeking advice and that's why GC exists.

To the original poster, the decision is yours to make but I'd suggest going above and beyond to make sure that you make the best decision. Exhaust all options before you make a decision you may or may not regret for the rest of your life or at least a portion of it.

- Blaine

[mystikchick]

think about the tone as well as when you're asking your sisters to hang out - do you sound kind of down, like you expect they'll say no, or are you really upbeat and enthusiastic, even when they say they can't? have you made repeated attempts to hang out with people? initiate conversation, ask people how their day went, how classes are going, etc.

the problems you're describing aside from the hair dyeing thing are common to any group of friends, as i've learned the hard way. if you truly feel like nobody would care if you left, if they're not treating you as one ought to treat a sister, then maybe you should leave, but like the poster above me said, exhaust all options first.

[33girl]

Also, there may be women in the upcoming pledge class (if your chapter is one of the smaller ones, I assume you will be taking a fall class) who you can relate to. Give everyone a summer off and see what happens when you come back in the fall. Believe me, there are sisters I thought I'd NEVER have anything in common with who became good friends. You've only known these women around 20 weeks, if that long.

Plus, if you are one of the smaller chapters, the chapter itself may be in a "transitional" period - there may be girls who want to bid women who are outside the sorority stereotype (like you, it seems) and those who want things to stay just as they are and feel threatened by women who aren't just like them. I remember we had sisters who were freaked out because we had smokers - I don't mean pot smokers, I mean normal old cigarette smokers - living in our house for the first time. I mean you would have thought they were doing crack in the middle of campus by some of the reactions! Again, these were women who had joined what was at the time a very "sedate" group. They didn't know what to make of the new sisters who liked to party and had tons of boyfriends. Eventually, though, it all worked out.

[Educatingblue]

I know exactly what you are talking about. People typically have the clique mentality whether they want to admit it or not. If these girls were "tight" before you came in and you are not really making an effort to fit in, more than likely they are not going to reach out to you. If I were you, I would sit down and talk to them about it and let them know how this whole situation is making you feel. I wouldn't just walk away from your org, but try to find a solution. I am sure you are not the only person in the chapter that feels like they are left out at times. You need to find at least one person that you feel comfortable around and warm up to them. Like someone else mentioned, people have to see your light shine in order to get to know you.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Also, there may be women in the upcoming pledge class (if your chapter is one of the smaller ones, I assume you will be taking a fall class) who you can relate to. Give everyone a summer off and see what happens when you come back in the fall. Believe me, there are sisters I thought I'd NEVER have anything in common with who became good friends. You've only known these women around 20 weeks, if that long.

AGREED. My class was small and I didn't have alot in common with any of them (didn't hate them, we were just different). My Little (who is from fall pledge class 2006, 4 classes after mine) is one of my closest friends.

[FSUZeta]

when you went thru recruitment, did you have a conservative appearance or were you your typical self?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

when you went thru recruitment, did you have a conservative appearance or were you your typical self?

Good question. If you looked and acted a different way during recruitment, it would explain why you aren't happy.