what do i have to give back?

[BootyKBG]

Originally Posted by Kevin

If you paid for the stuff and your chapter is requesting it back, insist that they pay you for it.

Anything that has letters, name, etc. of the sorority is officially property of the sorority. This is something that would be in the bylaws and something you are supposed to be aware of once you start your involvement with the org. Legal action can technically pend should you not return the items and the sorority decides to persue it.

Sucks if you simply want "mementos" but really photos are the best mementos you can get, and those are not property of the sorority.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Everything.

I agree and as others have said why do you want the stuff anyway? You obviously don't want to be part of the group.

[shinerbock]

If you're not in the sorority, I doubt you care much about bylaws. I'd say give back everything, but who cares, do whatever you want.

[tinydancer16]

Originally Posted by SmartBlondeGPhB

I agree and as others have said why do you want the stuff anyway? You obviously don't want to be part of the group.

This is a little harsh, she said her reasoning for not being initiated is monetary, not lack of want.
That being said, the bottom line is if it has letters then you can't have it. You can handle the returning of it however you want but think about how you want to be remembered by these girls -do whatever you do in the most tactful and respectful manner possible. Remember that this is the place where these girls have pledged their hearts and things that you may have been given are more than just stuff with Greek letters on them.

[KSUViolet06]

I mean think about it, how creepy/weird would it be if I went to a new friend's house and saw a bunch of Sigma stuff and was like "oh I didn't know you were an Sigma!" and she says "Oh no I depledged right after I joined, I just kept all the stuff." Umm yeah. Not cool.

If you like these girls and still want to maintain good friendships with them, I would return everything with the sorority name/letters/crest on it. I'm pretty sure they won't be happy to see you still sporting their letters and representing their sorority even though you're not a member anymore. If it becomes a hassle for them to get this stuff back from you, they probably won't want to hang out with you afterwards.

[SWTXBelle]

Perhaps you would feel better if you gave the stuff to your big sister or pledge sisters - it would have a home with initiated sisters, and they would have a nice remembrance of you .

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Sorry, it doesn't work like that.

Sororities don't have optional t-shirts which can, but may not be purchased (purely at the individual's discretion)? Pledges can't go out and buy license plate frames, lettered sweatshirts, etc. on their own?

I'd have to look, but my organization does require that we reimburse for any items which we request be returned under circumstances such as these... but maybe your organizations support the confiscation of private property...?

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by BootyKBG

Anything that has letters, name, etc. of the sorority is officially property of the sorority. This is something that would be in the bylaws and something you are supposed to be aware of once you start your involvement with the org. Legal action can technically pend should you not return the items and the sorority decides to persue it.

Sucks if you simply want "mementos" but really photos are the best mementos you can get, and those are not property of the sorority.

I'm sorry, but the sorority can't go into the greek life store on campus and walk out with whatever they please because it's "their property" and their bylaws say they can do that.

Sure, there are things which were provided to you 'on loan' from your chapter, but there are also things you've paid for individually. It's important to understand the distinction because your chapters have no business demanding the return (without paying them back) of things which were purchased with individual new members' money and not provided by the chapter's funds/resources.

The legal action thing is funny though. Would your chapter really spend the money to file a lawsuit in small claims court to get back a new member pin, some t-shirts and books? Doubtful.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Sororities don't have optional t-shirts which can, but may not be purchased (purely at the individual's discretion)? Pledges can't go out and buy license plate frames, lettered sweatshirts, etc. on their own?

As you should have learned from all the discussions about letters on here, no, sometimes they can't.

But I would have to question someone who bought a ton of stuff you don't HAVE to buy and then pleads monetary reasons for not initiating.

At any rate, it's a moot point since it sounds like most of the things were either given to her by the chapter or by her big/family.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by 33girl

As you should have learned from all the discussions about letters on here, no, sometimes they can't.

But I would have to question someone who bought a ton of stuff you don't HAVE to buy and then pleads monetary reasons for not initiating.

At any rate, it's a moot point since it sounds like most of the things were either given to her by the chapter or by her big/family.

For the sake of argument/clarity though -- let's say that after she pledged, she went down to the campus greek life shop and bought two of everything, loaded 'em into the back of her pickup and used it to build a shrine to her sorority in her dorm room.

Would the sorority be requesting that she turn in all of that stuff as well? Or only the items which were provided on the organization's dime?

-- and I know you've done chapter adviser work, so you of all people should know that college freshmen (and college kids in general) are really terrible with money. How many brothers/sisters do we all know who were constantly late on their dues, but always managed to have enough money to pay $100+ bar tabs?

[33girl]

I know that sometimes when we terminated people, we did buy back "big ticket" things like their jackets. We then, of course, sold them to another pledge/sister. Really, it sometimes depends on the person, and in this case, I wouldn't be very forgiving. It doesn't sound as though she's looked into payment plans or been very responsible. That's part of being in a sorority. You don't get a pass because gosh shucks, you're just an irresponsible college kid.

Oh, and we didn't waste $100 on bar tabs. We drank quarter drafts.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Kevin

For the sake of argument/clarity though -- let's say that after she pledged, she went down to the campus greek life shop and bought two of everything, loaded 'em into the back of her pickup and used it to build a shrine to her sorority in her dorm room.

Would the sorority be requesting that she turn in all of that stuff as well? Or only the items which were provided on the organization's dime?

-- and I know you've done chapter adviser work, so you of all people should know that college freshmen (and college kids in general) are really terrible with money. How many brothers/sisters do we all know who were constantly late on their dues, but always managed to have enough money to pay $100+ bar tabs?

Yes, we would absolutely request and require that she turn everything in. It's a buy at your own risk-type thing. If you don't think you're going to be an ASA for life, don't buy the stuff.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Yes, we would absolutely request and require that she turn everything in. It's a buy at your own risk-type thing. If you don't think you're going to be an ASA for life, don't buy the stuff.

Ah ok.. just so you know, if you took that one to court, you'd lose. There is simply no law that says you have to return merchandise to a sorority if you cease to be associated with that group.

[that's not legal advice]

But it's an honor system thing, so I get it.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by 33girl

She paid new member fees. New member fees do not include the things she mentioned. Any items that were bought by the chapter and distributed were paid for by the dues of the women who are already members.

not that active members would disclose this to NMs, but dont "gifts" to NMs tend to come out of NM fees? of course it covers the NME and activities, but i do recall somewhere it could pay for "gifts" (i quote it because essentially you, as an NM would pay for your own stuff... which leads me to say - "hey give the girl her money back!")

on the other hand, seriously no deal - you cant be keeping letters that are not yours. if it is truly a decision of "i can't afford dues," then she should have no problem being initiated the next semester (now whether she'd be eligible for rush again, or if the chapter would even pick her again... who knows)


so yeah - if the gifts came out of NM fees, she should get it back. if she paid out of pocket... technically its hers, but i would equate it to a perp owning para. sort of like how people buy para before they cross (which is always bad karma, to say the least)...


hmm. one of many reasons why im no big fan of freshmen joining sororities...

[33girl]

Originally Posted by tld221

not that active members would disclose this to NMs, but dont "gifts" to NMs tend to come out of NM fees? of course it covers the NME and activities, but i do recall somewhere it could pay for "gifts" (i quote it because essentially you, as an NM would pay for your own stuff... which leads me to say - "hey give the girl her money back!")

Typically, girls get "goody bags" on bid day that have t-shirts, pins, notepads etc. Obviously when a woman receives a bid, she has a certain number of days/weeks to pay the NM fee - you don't bar the door to the house and say "OK, we gave you your bid - now cough up the money immediately!"

So if you want to get technical, no, the fees SHE pays didn't go towards the items she receives on bid day, unless you have a Greek store that has no problem extending you lots and lots of credit. Her presents from the sorority are paid for with money that is already in the sorority's account.