How to Stand Out

[breukelen]

I have empathy for an academically minded girl who’s a bit nervous about “standing out” during rush. There’s probably a diagnosis for it now, but I like to call it being shy. Joining a sorority in college was the very thing that gave me the opportunity to come out of my shell.

Like others I would recommend the Dale Carnegie book. You can also get it on CD so you can listen to it in the car. Simplyaudio.com is a great place to rent audio books for a monthly fee. (I don’t work for them so this is not a promotion, I promise).
I also listed a few other books at the bottom of this post that are in a similar vein but were written more recently, sometimes Dale Carnegie’s style can be off putting at first but the information is quite valuable.

However don’t get caught in the studying trap. You’re probably great at reading and retaining information but what you need is some real-life experience meeting and making new friends to make you more comfortable, and not just for rush, but for your whole life. I would strongly suggest you do something that places you in the midst of your peer group. And by that I don’t mean renting a DVD with a group of your best friends. Do something that forces you to interact with people in your age group and especially with girls you do not know. You have the rest of this semester and most of the summer—that’s a good amount of time. I worked in retail at a popular store--that was a huge education. But there are plenty of other ways to do this. Camp counselors, life guards, all are opportunities to work and to get to know new people your age.

I also want to reiterate the importance of recommendations at a school like UGA. A “rec” in no way guarantees you a bid or even gives you a leg up in reality it just assures that you are on a level playing field with all the other girls that have them. It’s also another way of practicing being open and friendly. So get your resume together and have a nice picture of yourself that can be sent in with the rec. Just something simple and cute. Once those are done work rush into conversations with people--you never know who can help you with a recommendation. I would be especially chatty with your parents’ friends, there’s got to be some sorority alumnae among them.

One more thing, don’t just look into Greek Life. Take a look at UGA’s many, many student organizations. Plan on a few you’d like to check out regardless of how rush goes for you. Not as an “insurance plan” but as a way of keeping an open mind about your college experience. Too many women focus solely on greek life and forget they always wanted to write for the college paper or study abroad. Take a look at the organizations and make a list of what interests you and promise yourself you will look into it.

There’s 400 other things I want to say but I don’t like long posts and I’ve already violated that personal policy. But good luck, it’s a good experience.


The books/cds:
How to Win Friends & Influence People (Paperback) by Dale Carnegie
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
Leil Lowndes
Social Skills Survival Guide: A Handbook for Interpersonal and Business Etiquette
June Hines Moore
How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less
Nicholas Boothman
How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends: Revised And Updated
Don Gabor
Conversationally Speaking : Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness
Alan Garner
The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep it Going, Build Networking Skills--and Leave a Positive Impression!
Debra Fine
RoAne's Rules: How to Make the Right Impression: Working the Room, or One-on-One,What to Say and How to Say It
Susan RoAne
How to Create Your Own Luck: The You Never Know Approach to Networking, Taking Chances, and Opening Yourself to Opportunity
Susan RoAne

[AOII Angel]

If you are really "shy" and have a hard time relating to others. You may have something called "social phobia." Talk to your doctor....if this is truly a problem, there are several treatments. Some involve medications, but for people with this disorder it can make such a difference in their quality of life. I speak from experience having been placed on one such medication for a different medical condition. I went from not being able to speak in public and avoiding parties like the plague to being to life of the party. Now, noboby believes I was ever "shy!"