North vs South

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

Literally? Not just parents or other family members? That idea has always made me uncomfortable. I know as many fucked up old people as young people. I believe that everyone should earn respect, regardless of age. You shouldn't be rude either, but going out your way to be polite and respectful just because someone is older than you doesn't make a lot of sense. According to this kind of thinking, we all should be extra polite to Tom Earp.

Not bow down to people, just default to being respectful. There's no reason that kids shouldn't also be respectful to their friends. Respect doesn't equal worship.


What does one gain waiting to see if someone is worthy of being addressed most politely?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

Literally?

Yes.

Children are not equipped to distinguish "real adult" from "fake adult." Unless an adult is being abusive, children should always show respect even if the adult appears to be an idiot. Some children are taught to be respectful as long as the adult is catering to them because the world obviously revolves around them. However, children should not be allowed to be disrespectful because they are not getting their way.

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

Originally Posted by Dionysus

What's wrong with answering "what?" I never heard of this.

What is considered rude coming from a child to an adult..I said(was required to say) "yes ma'am/sir"..coming up...at the very least "yes"...."what" would get you popped in the mouth...its a respect thing, respect your elders...maybe its regional maybe its cultural...but I can't stand it when I hear a child speak that way to an adult...my daughter is always like around them because she can't believe how they act...she tells them I would be in BIG trouble for that...

ETA: I asked the original question from a regional standpoint because my friends says that "everyone" or all her friends in Syracuse acts the same way...she calls me prissy and I believe I'm far from that..

[JeffersonStKKG]

I call so many women "ma'am" that some people feel that I'm "respecting the elderly"---even those younger than me..hahaha. But yes, "ma'am/sir" are quite respectful. As far as "mommie dearest", my parents are Mama and Daddy.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

What is considered rude coming from a child to an adult..I said(was required to say) "yes ma'am/sir"..coming up...at the very least "yes"...."what" would get you popped in the mouth...its a respect thing, respect your elders...maybe its regional maybe its cultural...but I can't stand it when I hear a child speak that way to an adult...my daughter is always like around them because she can't believe how they act...she tells them I would be in BIG trouble for that...

ETA: I asked the original question from a regional standpoint because my friends says that "everyone" or all her friends in Syracuse acts the same way...she calls me prissy and I believe I'm far from that..

Somebody who thinks there is something wrong from drinking beer out of the bottle is a priss.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

my question..for those of you who are transplanted either from the north to the south or vice versa do find a difference in "manners" or is my friend the exception from most northern women???

There's no regional difference. Rude people with no home training are everywhere.

[DSTKellie]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

There's no regional difference. Rude people with no home training are everywhere.

I agree! Take it from someone who was born and raised on the East Coast, went to school in the Midwest and lived in the South. I've seen rude and polite behavior all over.

However, I will say that 'certain' manners are more expected in the South (I could be wrong this is just based on my experience). My husband whose family is very southern was taught to open doors for ladies, pull out chairs, give up his seat at a bus stop or a waiting room if a female is standing. When I was in college many of the gentlemen did not do this so I did not expect it. I had the mentality that I can open my own door. When I met my husband he was offended by this thinking and he told me that I should expect a man to open my door. I am usually not offended or upset when a man doesn't get the door for me, I guess this could be based on where I am from.

[shinerbock]

I don't think we do it because you'll be offended, its just the proper thing to do. Whenever I would ride the campus bus as an undergrad, guys (at least the greeks) would always give up their seats to the girls.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by shinerbock

I don't think we do it because you'll be offended, its just the proper thing to do. Whenever I would ride the campus bus as an undergrad, guys (at least the greeks) would always give up their seats to the girls.

I cannot imagine why anyone would be offended that someone else would offer them a seat. I swear, sometimes I think people just look for a reason to be offended.

[PhiMuAmberkins]

Originally Posted by DSTKellie

My husband whose family is very southern was taught to open doors for ladies, pull out chairs, give up his seat at a bus stop or a waiting room if a female is standing. When I was in college many of the gentlemen did not do this so I did not expect it. I had the mentality that I can open my own door. When I met my husband he was offended by this thinking and he told me that I should expect a man to open my door.

And this is why I love good Southern men!

[PM_Mama00]

If I answered "excuse me" to someone I didn't hear, that would be considered being sarcastic or being a bitch.

If I answered "yes ma'am/sir" to my parents, that would be considered as being sarcastic or bitchy.

I"ve found that if you call someone ma'am, sir, miss, etc they take it as someone being condescending towards them. There were these two girls in a restaurant the other day and they were calling the cooks (Mongolian BBQ) sweety and honey. It made me cringe until I realized they had southern accents.

I like being able to be myself around people and not having to worry if I used the wrong fork or if I should have called someone ma'am or miss or Ms.

[SororChic6]

Yes, I've experienced the same reaction from calling people "sir" or "maam." They get offended because it implies that they are old. Also, I've had many occassions where I would let an elderly woman ahead of me on the bathroom line or offer her my seat and she would get offended from this.

[AXO Alum]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

There's no regional difference. Rude people with no home training are everywhere.

I wish I had room in the siggy for this little gem - LOVE IT!!

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

There were these two girls in a restaurant the other day and they were calling the cooks (Mongolian BBQ) sweety and honey. It made me cringe until I realized they had southern accents.

guilty

I can't help it - when I call someone "honey" it isn't meant to be the least bit condescending. Of course I live in the south where everyone practically is a "honey" "sweety" or "darlin" -- to me, when I have gotten good service at a restaurant, or good customer service at a store, I always say "thank you, honey" to the employee. To me, I'm saying "I really appreciate you taking care of me in your store/restaurant/whatever" -- and if people think I'm being rude, then they are reading too much into it.

Now there *ARE* people (and gee, you can find them right here on GC probably post stalking as we speak) who say "dear" and "honey" and "baby" in a very condescending tone. I am not one of those people

As to the issue of "what" to a parent - my son (4yo) has been taught when I call him to say "what mommy?" - of course it isn't rude when he says it. I taught him this when he was younger & liked to hide without telling mommy he was hiding. After I realized that he didn't know mommy was scared when he "disappeared" I taught him that whenever mommy calls him (or daddy, grandparents, etc.) to say "what mommy/daddy/whatever". Now if he's in trouble and I ask him a question, he knows that yes/no ma'am better come out of his mouth

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AXO Alum

I wish I had room in the siggy for this little gem - LOVE IT!!

Your siggy is dizzying. Can my quote be put on a wait list?

[AXO Alum]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Your siggy is dizzying. Can my quote be put on a wait list?

Yes, you can go on a waiting list... but you see, all those quotes in my siggy represent an important part of my life. Like my hair transplants - I am still waiting, and thanks to the snobs of GC, I have not yet had a referral for any of their salons. But I don't want to take it out, lest GC think I have given up on my journey to fulfill a lifetime dream.

I'll go see what I can part with so I can add your words of wisdom to it...