You Know You were Born/Raised "Black" When...

[nonchalant]

This is absolutely hilarious. I got one for yall.

When it's okay to mash your cornbread and collard greens together and eat them with your hands.

[Professor]

somebody please tell me what's in caster oil (sp) and why it was the cure for everything?

[BlueReign]

I thought it makes your bowels move and when your colon is cleansed then everything works better.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

-You know how to drive a car with no brakes, or lights..Or windshield wipers...

-If you hear your jam you dance despite the location…You could be in the bank, and you would lean and rock with it...(slightly)

-"good hair and bad hair"

-You were warned not to drink coffee because it made you black.

That's born/raised "ignorant."

@ the rest

[Professor]

WHAT - LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL LLL


-You were warned not to drink coffee because it made you black.

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by nonchalant

When it's okay to mash your cornbread and collard greens together and eat them with your hands.

My grandmother does this....I am always like granny do you need me to get you a fork.

[luv4denzel]

Okay, I got a few:

When an adult on the block tells your Mama she saw you doin' something bad, and it wasn't you, so you say, "Mama, I didn't do that." And your mother says, "Oh, you callin' Miss So-and-So a liar?"

"No, but I didn't do it." I can't count how many times that happened to me.

When your Mama said to be in the house when the street lights came on, and you waited for the last light on the block to come on before you went in the house.

When you couldn't afford the Fun Dip from the ice cream truck, so you put koolaid in a sandwich bag, and dipped your finger in it until your fingers were red.

BTW, my grandmother's house was the place on the block to get your backdoor treats for sale: icy pops, candy, sodas, chips and lots of other stuff.

When you were in biiiiiggg trouble if you attempted to iron clothes on a Sunday. My Mama and Grandma would say, "This is the Lawd's day! Put that iron up before I slap you into next week!" And speaking of getting slapped somewhere, can anyone tell me where Kingdom Come is?

[sigtau305]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

-You know what "no hometraining" means.

-You've told your mother you had a headache and her remedy was to take a crap or some Robitussin.

-You were always able to find a Jet, Ebony, Ebony Jr., or Essence somewhere around the house.

-Your dad had the uncanny ability to wake up just as you were changing the channel and yell "I was watchin' that!" - no matter how quiet you were...


-You fell asleep in your mother's lap while getting your hair cornrowed, woke up, fell back asleep, and woke up again and she still wasn't finished.

-Kool aid was the only "sports drink" you knew...

-You knew about the controversy of the barbershop/beauty shop dialogue way before "Barbershop" or "Beauty Shop" came out.

-Many of the people you grew up calling your aunty, uncle, cousin, sister, or brother have no blood relation to you at all.

-You have the tendency to describe people's complexions in terms of food.

-Your family had Sunday dinners.

-OJ taught you that Black or White doesn't matter. . .So long as you've got green.

-You've been told to stop crying before you got something to cry about.

-Your parents whooped your behind if you wasted food.

-Catfish was a popular meat at your barbeques.

-Your parents told you to not even THINK about asking for toys when you go shopping with them.

-Back-sassing a parent was the last thing on your mind… if you wanted to live.

-You saw your community as part of your extended family.

-Your barbers or hairdressers were your friends.

-You knew ladies who wore big hats to church that you can't see over when sitting down.

-Robitussin was a panacea.

-Food with too little spice was simply unbearable.

-You got baths in the sink as a baby.

-You were told "I'll get mine and forget everyone else" was a terrible mindset.

-As an adult, you still look over your shoulder when you know you're doin' wrong...

-When your white friends talked to their parents, you ducked...

-As an adult, your parents deny ever spanking you...

-You feared your friends’ parents as much as you did your own...

-You know how to drive a car with no brakes, or lights..Or windshield wipers...

-You put hot sauce on everything including macaroni and cheese.

-You compulsively barbecue when the warm weather arrives...

-When someone makes something good to eat, you say things like "You put yo foot in this"

-If you hear your jam you dance despite the location…You could be in the bank, and you would lean and rock with it...(slightly)

-You know about forty eight variations of hand shakes...and you can perform the black combination without training..You know the one which starts by locking thumbs, and then a series of other moves...

-You can make seventy dishes, including spaghetti with ramen noodles.

-You would not be shocked if someone passing in a car shouted out your name without stopping the vehicle...and then you compulsively shout back "Whaddup"

-You almost starve to death from December 26 to March due to your families Christmas shopping debt.

-Even though the neighbor's kid wound up in prison, your auntie makes sure to remind you of how bad you were as a kid because you painted the dog.

-You know what cod liver oil taste like.

-“oohh un hun” is an appropriate response to something you don't like.

-You know what it meant to be told to go get a "switch." And you bet not bring back a sheisty one.

-Sucking your teeth in front of adults ....ummm... bet not happen.

-"good hair and bad hair"

-When James Evans died you actually grieved

-Tremendously loud bass is an acquired musical delicacy.

-Your momma told you to put vaseline on your legs because "it's just like lotion".

-Dessert choices were sweet potato pie or pound cake.

-You were warned not to drink coffee because it made you black.

-Your momma's momma was "Big Mama" and Your dad's momma was "Muh Dea"

-You pronounce AUNT like UNTEE, not ANT

-You could buy frozen koolaid pops and faygo sodas from the back door of an old lady in your neighborhood

so true. good one, TonyB06

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by ziasha07

How come I almost got beat one day when I was little for saying "freak"?

Ditto. But I said "piss." And I ducked fast enough.

Don't forget the fried chicken and red Kool-Aid. Can't leave those out and, if they're in here, they're worth mentioning twice.

[skywalker20_99]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Hey now...the majority of these go for anyone raised in the South! (And by South I mean counnnnnnntry South by country Southern folk.) Anyway, seriously, where do you wash babies if not in the sink?

I was thinking about what to put on my baby registry the other day and thought to myself, "I won't get one of those baby tubs. I'll just bathe him in the sink." LOL.

[letmein25]

one cup of coffee can,t make you:
any blacker. cooooooome NOW.

Originally Posted by TonyB06

-You know what "no hometraining" means.

-You've told your mother you had a headache and her remedy was to take a crap or some Robitussin.

-You were always able to find a Jet, Ebony, Ebony Jr., or Essence somewhere around the house.

-Your dad had the uncanny ability to wake up just as you were changing the channel and yell "I was watchin' that!" - no matter how quiet you were...


-You fell asleep in your mother's lap while getting your hair cornrowed, woke up, fell back asleep, and woke up again and she still wasn't finished.

-Kool aid was the only "sports drink" you knew...

-You knew about the controversy of the barbershop/beauty shop dialogue way before "Barbershop" or "Beauty Shop" came out.

-Many of the people you grew up calling your aunty, uncle, cousin, sister, or brother have no blood relation to you at all.

-You have the tendency to describe people's complexions in terms of food.

-Your family had Sunday dinners.

-OJ taught you that Black or White doesn't matter. . .So long as you've got green.

-You've been told to stop crying before you got something to cry about.

-Your parents whooped your behind if you wasted food.

-Catfish was a popular meat at your barbeques.

-Your parents told you to not even THINK about asking for toys when you go shopping with them.

-Back-sassing a parent was the last thing on your mind… if you wanted to live.

-You saw your community as part of your extended family.

-Your barbers or hairdressers were your friends.

-You knew ladies who wore big hats to church that you can't see over when sitting down.

-Robitussin was a panacea.

-Food with too little spice was simply unbearable.

-You got baths in the sink as a baby.

-You were told "I'll get mine and forget everyone else" was a terrible mindset.

-As an adult, you still look over your shoulder when you know you're doin' wrong...

-When your white friends talked to their parents, you ducked...

-As an adult, your parents deny ever spanking you...

-You feared your friends’ parents as much as you did your own...

-You know how to drive a car with no brakes, or lights..Or windshield wipers...

-You put hot sauce on everything including macaroni and cheese.

-You compulsively barbecue when the warm weather arrives...

-When someone makes something good to eat, you say things like "You put yo foot in this"

-If you hear your jam you dance despite the location…You could be in the bank, and you would lean and rock with it...(slightly)

-You know about forty eight variations of hand shakes...and you can perform the black combination without training..You know the one which starts by locking thumbs, and then a series of other moves...

-You can make seventy dishes, including spaghetti with ramen noodles.

-You would not be shocked if someone passing in a car shouted out your name without stopping the vehicle...and then you compulsively shout back "Whaddup"

-You almost starve to death from December 26 to March due to your families Christmas shopping debt.

-Even though the neighbor's kid wound up in prison, your auntie makes sure to remind you of how bad you were as a kid because you painted the dog.

-You know what cod liver oil taste like.

-“oohh un hun” is an appropriate response to something you don't like.

-You know what it meant to be told to go get a "switch." And you bet not bring back a sheisty one.

-Sucking your teeth in front of adults ....ummm... bet not happen.

-"good hair and bad hair"

-When James Evans died you actually grieved

-Tremendously loud bass is an acquired musical delicacy.

-Your momma told you to put vaseline on your legs because "it's just like lotion".

-Dessert choices were sweet potato pie or pound cake.

-You were warned not to drink coffee because it made you black.

-Your momma's momma was "Big Mama" and Your dad's momma was "Muh Dea"

-You pronounce AUNT like UNTEE, not ANT

-You could buy frozen koolaid pops and faygo sodas from the back door of an old lady in your neighborhood

[delph998]

This thread is HILARIOUS! How did I miss this? And for the record, I still don't say butt, lie, and piss around my parents. That's a curse word in front of them.

I have the perfect story: About six years ago, we had some friends at the house and we were watching a football game. One the dudes said something like, they need to kick butt. My dad said, "there's no cursing in this house young man." My friend had the most perplexed look on his face. Whew, yeah.

Anyway, you also know you're black when...there are about thirty Bibles all over the house, with that one REAL BIG ONE with the BIG HANDS on the cover.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by delph998

Anyway, you also know you're black when...there are about thirty Bibles all over the house, with that one REAL BIG ONE with the BIG HANDS on the cover.

And with the "gold" trim on the pages.

I don't know how I missed this before either, but I swear Tony B06 must have been part of my family.

One more to add:
When lard was used for everything from frying chicken and fish to making biscuits and pie crust.

Yanno my grandmother lived to be 102, my grandfather and step grandfather in their 80s, my mother to 84, her sister in her 80s, my Dad at 81, and they all grew up on lard, butter, etc. And none of them died from heart disease. Makes you wonder what else is behind all of these modern day health issues.

[delph998]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

One more to add:
When lard was used for everything from frying chicken and fish to making biscuits and pie crust.

Yanno my grandmother lived to be 102, my grandfather and step grandfather in their 80s, my mother to 84, her sister in her 80s, my Dad at 81, and they all grew up on lard, butter, etc. And none of them died from heart disease. Makes you wonder what else is behind all of these modern day health issues.

So true! I have been researching the foods we eat, Ladygreek and my findings are quite scary.
___

Another one:

You know you're black when when at church, the first thing people say is "First giving honor to God who is the head of my life..."

[pinkies up]

^^^LOL!!! What about at the end of church service when everyone joins hands and sings "Reach out and touch somebody's hand"?