Would you mourn a baby that was never born?

[Scandia]

To me, it depends on how late in the pregnancy was the baby miscarried.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by carnation
I don't think anyone could know how they'd react to this unless it happened to them. I never gave miscarriages a thought until it happened to me during my 4th pregnancy. My sister-in-law miscarried the same month and we had both seen our babies alive on ultrasound and then a week later.....

If it hasn't happened to you, you have no right to criticize the mourning of someone who's miscarried. Everyone's mourning is different. I have no right to say, for instance, that a widow is overdoing it with her reactions or that someone who lost a relative on 9-11 really ought to get over it.

So a person you've known for so long is akin to a baby you might have had but didn't come to fruition past a couple months?

If forced to choose between their husbands and a miscarriage, most women would choose the latter I would think, no?

-Rudey

[carnation]

Nobody said a thing about choosing. Why would anyone have to choose?

But unless someone has died inside you, you could never know how intense the emotional pain is.

[smiley21]

I know a woman who had 18 miscarriages (yeah you read that right) and now has 3 kids. She does not continue to dwell on what she lost. She is more than thankful for the children that she has now.

[ISUKappa]

I also think it depends on the person and the situation.

I've been pregnant three times, but only have had one live birth. I don't think of my miscarriages as "angel babies" or "children lost" (the angel babies thing kind of freaks me out, personally). I am cognizant of the fact I have had two miscarriages (I had to list them on medical paperwork, my son's birth certificate paperwork, etc...) and I will worry about it the next time I get pregnant, but it's not in the forefront of my mind anymore. There are so many emotions involved with pregnancy and childbirth, it's never just a black and white thing.

[teena]

I think that how much a woman mourns may have to do with if they actually had to deliver a baby and their milk came in. I think that would be horrific to have to deliver a dead baby.

[AKA_Monet]

Let's turn it up a notch...

1000's may be millions of cryo-preserved embryos will have to thrown away as human biohazard medical waste this year because they've been frozen for too long...

If you all know what "blastula stage" is, and the size of it is 1/100th of that of a head of pin under an electron microscope, then should be mourn the clidoxing, autoclaved thawed out human biohazard wasted blastulas because they never got implanted into a uterus?

Mind you, only a few actually do become implanted into the uterine horn if injected properly...

[Rudey]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Let's turn it up a notch...

1000's may be millions of cryo-preserved embryos will have to thrown away as human biohazard medical waste this year because they've been frozen for too long...

If you all know what "blastula stage" is, and the size of it is 1/100th of that of a head of pin under an electron microscope, then should be mourn the clidoxing, autoclaved thawed out human biohazard wasted blastulas because they never got implanted into a uterus?

Mind you, only a few actually do become implanted into the uterine horn if injected properly...

True. It's like whenever guys shake hands with the unemployed, you know you should be mourning a loss right there.

-Rudey

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by Rudey

True. It's like whenever guys shake hands with the unemployed, you know you should be mourning a loss right there.

-Rudey

Dude, you totally lost me... Huh?

[Rudey]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...the+unemployed

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Dude, you totally lost me... Huh?

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by carnation
I don't think anyone could know how they'd react to this unless it happened to them.

If it hasn't happened to you, you have no right to criticize the mourning of someone who's miscarried. Everyone's mourning is different. I have no right to say, for instance, that a widow is overdoing it with her reactions or that someone who lost a relative on 9-11 really ought to get over it.

Ditto. I know people that have mourn their miscarriages (regardless of the length of pregnancy) and some that do not for reasons similiar to what smiley21 posted. Its all ok.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by carnation
Nobody said a thing about choosing. Why would anyone have to choose?

But unless someone has died inside you, you could never know how intense the emotional pain is.

I am just saying that for most, a husband you've known for some time is quite different from the result of a miscarriage.

That's all

-Rudey

[mulattogyrl]

Originally posted by Rudey
I am just saying that for most, a husband you've known for some time is quite different from the result of a miscarriage.

That's all

-Rudey

I see what you're saying Rudey, but it's difficult because while you may love your husband, a miscarriage means you had something living and dying inside you. That's a different type of thing.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally posted by carnation
Nobody said a thing about choosing. Why would anyone have to choose?

But unless someone has died inside you, you could never know how intense the emotional pain is.

You're right. You really don't know how intense that can be until it actually happens to you.

[DeltAlum]

We had two miscarriages and then three live births.

The miscarriages were tough at the time -- and I would say we did mourn -- but we don't dwell on it, although I think both of us do think about it sometimes.

We're just thankful now for the three wonderful kids.