Would you mourn a baby that was never born?
 

Is it just a pro-life thing?

Would you mourn a baby that never lived?

-Rudey

Simple answer, yes.

For real? So if you had a miscarriage ages ago you would refer to your daughter's death to this day?

-Rudey

Ummm, no. That's a bit morbid, lol. I actually did miscarry a few years ago, and I mourned then, but I have no idea what date it was, lol.

Yeah that's what I was getting at. I just didn't know if that was a normal thing to refer to a miscarried baby as your daughter after so many years. You girls are so complex.

-Rudey

We are, aren't we? :D

If the baby was stillborn, or died right before it would have been born then, yes...for a little bit. But for a miscarriage, probably not 15-20 years later.

After all, I couldn't mourn for too long--I'd still want to tell dead baby jokes.

^^LMAO!!!

I like it when people think they had a miscarriage but aren't sure because it's entirely possible it was just a really bad period, and then continue to talk about the trauma of the miscarriage and how it supports their rabid pro-life-osity because OMG how could ANYONE ever possibly want to GIVE UP A CHILD because this is very painful for me!

If I actually knew I was pregnant and had a miscarriage, I would mourn for a little while, and then get over it. If I had a stillborn, I think I would be more likely to remember the date and all, but I still don't think I could refer to it as a son or daughter.

i think it depends on the person - i have a cousin who has miscarried twice and doesn't refer at all to those experiences but i also know a woman who is adamanent that she has 7 children just that four of them are already in heaven (ala miscarring also).

i think for some people it would also depend on how far along they were in the pregnancy - a month, five month, complications during childbirth/stillborn? i think that would make a big difference for me as to how long i carried that experience with me.

- marissa

In all seriousness, I agree with squirrely girl. I know someone whose baby died RIGHT before her due date, and she had to go through labor and give birth to a dead baby. I can't even imagine how awful that would be.

I know a woman who has six children and miscarried two. Whenever anybody asks, she simply says she has six children.

I don't think anyone could know how they'd react to this unless it happened to them. I never gave miscarriages a thought until it happened to me during my 4th pregnancy. My sister-in-law miscarried the same month and we had both seen our babies alive on ultrasound and then a week later.....

If it hasn't happened to you, you have no right to criticize the mourning of someone who's miscarried. Everyone's mourning is different. I have no right to say, for instance, that a widow is overdoing it with her reactions or that someone who lost a relative on 9-11 really ought to get over it.