Relationship - Taking a Break

[AXO4Life]

So here's my question:
Relationships are about work, they're not easy. So if I'm the only one fighting for this relationship, isn't that wrong? Why should I wait for him to make a decision about my future? If he can't decide if this relationship means enought to him to work for it, why shouldn't I find someone out there who IS willing to work for it?

[wrigley]

If he wants to take a break, tell him okay but let's make it permanent. He is a weasel. You can do better.

Do you really want this guy with you on your family's vacation? Take one of your other friends instead.

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by AXO4Life
So here's my question:
Relationships are about work, they're not easy. So if I'm the only one fighting for this relationship, isn't that wrong? Why should I wait for him to make a decision about my future? If he can't decide if this relationship means enought to him to work for it, why shouldn't I find someone out there who IS willing to work for it?

I agree. Relationships are about work and if one person is the MAIN one trying to work at it, then yeah - something is wrong. You shouldn't have to "make" someone be with you - they either do or they don't. If he was interested in being in a relationship with you, he would still be there.

I agree with James. Go out, have fun, see other people because honestly, you are now single.

Yes, You CAN (and will) do better!

[texas*princess]

Originally posted by AXO4Life
Why should I wait for him to make a decision about my future?

Answer: Don't wait for him. I'm really glad you though about all that because it's true. Don't wait for him. If some guy comes along and he seems willing to meet you halfway - I'd say go for it. Don't wait on pins & needles waiting to see if Mr. INeedABreak is going to change his mind and decide if his relationship with you really is worth working for.

There was this phrase my grandma used to tell me --If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If not, it was never yours to begin with.

This break may take a week... maybe 2... maybe even a few months.

With my current boyfriend (who I've been dating most all of college) we had a 6-month breakup a couple of years ago. During that time I did go out and date a few guys, but believe it or not, we were actually *friends* during the breakup time... and ended getting back together after 6 months. During that time I learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about him too. So maybe ya'll will get back together? Who knows? But don't wait around for it to happen.

[UlChiOCutie26]

In the words of Stuart Smiley:

"Im good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!!!!!!!"

He sounds like a dweeb. My ex tried to do that to me. I agreed to our split and when we were on "the break" I saw him making out with someone else. You are wayyyyy to young to be tied down. Who knows? You might meet someone that cares about you and your feelings...

Now, what would THAT be like?? I'd say pretty damn good!

[emleepc]

Originally posted by texas*princess
Answer: Don't wait for him. I'm really glad you though about all that because it's true. Don't wait for him. If some guy comes along and he seems willing to meet you halfway - I'd say go for it. Don't wait on pins & needles waiting to see if Mr. INeedABreak is going to change his mind and decide if his relationship with you really is worth working for.

Amen, Sista!!!

It's tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel in these situations sometimes, but believe me, it's there. And pretty soon it will shining so brightly on you, you won't know what happened.

[blackngoldengrl]

bumping cuz I've been wondering about this myself...

Anyone here been in a long-term relationship and then taken a break and gotten back together at a later point? And by break here, I mean not remaining friends or "with benefits" I mean-you haven't spoken in a few months or so.

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

bumping cuz I've been wondering about this myself...

Anyone here been in a long-term relationship and then taken a break and gotten back together at a later point? And by break here, I mean not remaining friends or "with benefits" I mean-you haven't spoken in a few months or so.

Thanks for bumping this.....Thanks a whole lot.

I can not answer your question, but I had never read this thread before and needed to.


BTW TWIN if you are reading this just know that T has got to go. I will probably put it in a PM

[Infamous12]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

Thanks for bumping this.....Thanks a whole lot.

I can not answer your question, but I had never read this thread before and needed to.


BTW TWIN if you are reading this just know that T has got to go. I will probably put it in a PM

Awww shoot...let me break away from this newsletter and re-read.

[AKA_Monet]

PB--

When your married, you have to give chance after chance. You just cannot break up whenever you want to. But, you can have "breaks" when you figure stuff out on your own for a few hours and come back rejuvenated...

For the gentlemen, that's when you play golf or basketball on the court all day...

For the ladies, that's when you go to the spa and get "rejuvenated" by Javier... (J/K--or am I? )

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

bumping cuz I've been wondering about this myself...

Anyone here been in a long-term relationship and then taken a break and gotten back together at a later point? And by break here, I mean not remaining friends or "with benefits" I mean-you haven't spoken in a few months or so.

I'm either in or out. No games.

If I was the original poster, as soon as that joker told me he's starting to have mixed feelings, before he even finished the sentence I would have dumped him like a bad habit on the spot and moved on.

Back to me. See, I don't take breaks. I work it out. There are no breaks, and I damn sure don't play that "friends with benefits" garbage. I'm in it for the long haul through good times and bad. If she starts having mixed feelings, it's over for good. Period.

[lillady85]

In response to what you said PrettyBoy, what if there were no mixed feelings? What if there is no question as to how you feel for the other person, but, there are things you need to work out on because the relationship has become too much to handle? Not that I like that either, it makes it seem like, oh well if you can't handle it right now, what makes you think you can handle it later?

But I get what you're saying. Except, when the feelings are still there, what to do? Wait or say, all or nothing?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by lillady85

In response to what you said PrettyBoy, what if there were no mixed feelings? What if there is no question as to how you feel for the other person, but, there are things you need to work out on because the relationship has become too much to handle? Not that I like that either, it makes it seem like, oh well if you can't handle it right now, what makes you think you can handle it later?

But I get what you're saying. Except, when the feelings are still there, what to do? Wait or say, all or nothing?

See, this is the problem. The main reason why the divorce rate is so damn high. Jokers think since the relationship is getting a little rocky, they can't handle it and want to take a break. WTF? Dude, I don't have time for it. Yeah, it would be hard when the feelings are in the way, but I look at it like this, if I got dumped or if she told me "I need a break" then that tells me her feelings weren't as strong for me as mine were for her, so I wouldn't want a weak woman like that. The person that says I need a break is the one that's as soft as drug store cotton. I can't stand weak jokers like that. That's exactly right what you said. If it's not working out now and the weak joker wants to take a break, then that's the same joker who's going to continue to be weak in the future. Why would you want a soft batch idiot like that? Seriously. I can see if he/she is cheating or there's physical or verbal abuse, but other than that why break up? Jokers love that "friends with benefits" crap though. Then they turn around and wonder "oh how did I get this STD?"

[EyesOnThePrize]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I'm either in or out. No games.

If I was the original poster, as soon as that joker told me he's starting to have mixed feelings, before he even finished the sentence I would have dumped him like a bad habit on the spot and moved on.

Back to me. See, I don't take breaks. I work it out. There are no breaks, and I damn sure don't play that "friends with benefits" garbage. I'm in it for the long haul through good times and bad. If she starts having mixed feelings, it's over for good. Period.

Wow…just wow! I am SO happy to hear a man say this. Your relationship is a part of your life. Life does not pause. Life gets difficult (or takes more attention to certain areas) at times. Deal with it!!! You don’t get to take a break from your life and expect it to still be there waiting on you when you either decide a.) you can now deal with it, or b.) that you’ve had a little fun (without guilt) and now want to go back to eating the cake you already had!!! Sorry for the ((((!!!!!!!!!)))), this topic hit home.

Now PrettyBoy would you be so kind as to bestow your knowledge upon to the rest of your gender? Preferably those in SoCal?? Preferably those in your frat???

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by EyesOnThePrize

Now PrettyBoy would you be so kind as to bestow your knowledge upon to the rest of your gender? Preferably those in SoCal?? Preferably those in your frat???

LOL. There's a lot of men like myself, we're just hard to find because we don't hang out where most other people do. For example, when I'm not working, a night out for me is either at home, out bowling, or relaxing at a coffee shop or the bookstore.

Yeah, I'm not down with taking breaks at all. That's unacceptable.