Relationship - Taking a Break

PrettyBoy · #1 08-07-2007, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lillady85

In response to what you said PrettyBoy, what if there were no mixed feelings? What if there is no question as to how you feel for the other person, but, there are things you need to work out on because the relationship has become too much to handle? Not that I like that either, it makes it seem like, oh well if you can't handle it right now, what makes you think you can handle it later?

But I get what you're saying. Except, when the feelings are still there, what to do? Wait or say, all or nothing?

See, this is the problem. The main reason why the divorce rate is so damn high. Jokers think since the relationship is getting a little rocky, they can't handle it and want to take a break. WTF? Dude, I don't have time for it. Yeah, it would be hard when the feelings are in the way, but I look at it like this, if I got dumped or if she told me "I need a break" then that tells me her feelings weren't as strong for me as mine were for her, so I wouldn't want a weak woman like that. The person that says I need a break is the one that's as soft as drug store cotton. I can't stand weak jokers like that. That's exactly right what you said. If it's not working out now and the weak joker wants to take a break, then that's the same joker who's going to continue to be weak in the future. Why would you want a soft batch idiot like that? Seriously. I can see if he/she is cheating or there's physical or verbal abuse, but other than that why break up? Jokers love that "friends with benefits" crap though. Then they turn around and wonder "oh how did I get this STD?"

kathykd2005 · #2 08-07-2007, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Jokers love that "friends with benefits" crap though. Then they turn around and wonder "oh how did I get this STD?"

Haha, what happened?

minDyG · #3 08-07-2007, 12:20 AM

Sorry for not reading the entire thread before I reply, but in my opinion, asking for a break is just a way of keeping his security blanket just in case his taste of freedom doesn't turn out to be as glamorous as he expects it will be. Don't let him jerk you around on a chain, and don't keep him on one either if/when he ever comes crawling back to you. If the thought is even in his mind that he may not be sure he wants to be with you, after being together for such a long time, that translates to ready-to-move-on. Cut the umbilical cord.

PrettyBoy · #4 08-07-2007, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minDyG

Sorry for not reading the entire thread before I reply, but in my opinion, asking for a break is just a way of keeping his security blanket just in case his taste of freedom doesn't turn out to be as glamorous as he expects it will be. Don't let him jerk you around on a chain, and don't keep him on one either if/when he ever comes crawling back to you. If the thought is even in his mind that he may not be sure he wants to be with you, after being together for such a long time, that translates to ready-to-move-on. Cut the umbilical cord.

minDyG you are all that. You don't know how right you are. Yup....CUT IT OFF COMPLETELY!

PrettyBoy · #5 08-07-2007, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

Haha, what happened?

I've been through the same garbage in the past the OP was talking about. It happened over and over and after a while I just got tired of it, so now I don't keep coming back. Once I sense mixed feelings from her, I'm out for good. If she tries to call she'll go right to v-mail without a return phone call. I don't play games nor do I cheat. I want the same in return. I'm glad the women I dealt with in my past were soft like that though, because it's only made it easier for me to move to newer and better things without looking back. I'm not only speaking for myself, I've seen this crap happen a thousand times to other people, and like idiots they keep coming back. I do the K.I.S.S. "Keep It Stupid Simple", dump her and move on. That simple. Relationships are not that hard people, it's the idiots/idiot in the relationship that make them hard.

kathykd2005 · #6 08-07-2007, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I've been through the same garbage in the past the OP was talking about. It happened over and over and after a while I just got tired of it, so now I don't keep coming back. Once I sense mixed feelings from her, I'm out for good. If she tries to call she'll go right to v-mail without a return phone call. I don't play games nor do I cheat. I want the same in return. I'm glad the women I dealt with in my past were soft like that though, because it's only made it easier for me to move to newer and better things without looking back. I'm not only speaking for myself, I've seen this crap happen a thousand times to other people, and like idiots they keep coming back. I do the K.I.S.S. "Keep It Stupid Simple", dump her and move on. That simple. Relationships are not that hard people, it's the idiots/idiot in the relationship that make them hard.

That's the way to be!!!

blackngoldengrl · #7 08-07-2007, 12:36 AM

I hear what you are saying, to the OP, but the question I posed is a bit different I think. Perhaps more information is needed, but w/o giving all that away I guess what you are saying is: no breaks. If there is some issue or issues that you cannot work out with your partner, then move on completely.

I think in my case, I'm wondering what those who have been through this before with successfully getting back together felt that the break did for their relationship? Gave you clarity,allowed you to focus on yourself and getting your life together, gave you the opportunity to explore other relationships if you wanted to, etc. And if you didn't get back together, do you feel that it was worth it?

Gracias and goodnight!

PrettyBoy · #8 08-07-2007, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

I hear what you are saying, to the OP, but the question I posed is a bit different I think. Perhaps more information is needed, but w/o giving all that away I guess what you are saying is: no breaks. If there is some issue or issues that you cannot work out with your partner, then move on completely.

I think in my case, I'm wondering what those who have been through this before with successfully getting back together felt that the break did for their relationship? Gave you clarity,allowed you to focus on yourself and getting your life together, gave you the opportunity to explore other relationships if you wanted to, etc. And if you didn't get back together, do you feel that it was worth it?

Gracias and goodnight!

One chance! She messes up...see ya.

AOII_LB93 · #9 08-10-2007, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

I hear what you are saying, to the OP, but the question I posed is a bit different I think. Perhaps more information is needed, but w/o giving all that away I guess what you are saying is: no breaks. If there is some issue or issues that you cannot work out with your partner, then move on completely.

I think in my case, I'm wondering what those who have been through this before with successfully getting back together felt that the break did for their relationship? Gave you clarity,allowed you to focus on yourself and getting your life together, gave you the opportunity to explore other relationships if you wanted to, etc. And if you didn't get back together, do you feel that it was worth it?

Gracias and goodnight!

Ok, so I'm a few days late in responding, but you asked for someone who has successfully gotten back together after a break....and that is me. My husband and I (before we got married) took a break for about 6 months. We were living together and I felt like the relationship was going nowhere. So I got back from a trip and we broke it off. I moved out on my own...and did a lot of thinking. I realized that he was the person that I wanted in my life and vice-versa. We were engaged 6 months later(april 05) and married by the end of 2005. I honestly feel that if we hadn't split up, we wouldn't be married today simply because we had both gotten far too comfortable with the crappyness we were in together. Did he date others? No...did I? No, but it gave us both time to think about what we really wanted.

OneTimeSBX · #10 08-10-2007, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Ok, so I'm a few days late in responding, but you asked for someone who has successfully gotten back together after a break....and that is me. My husband and I (before we got married) took a break for about 6 months. We were living together and I felt like the relationship was going nowhere. So I got back from a trip and we broke it off. I moved out on my own...and did a lot of thinking. I realized that he was the person that I wanted in my life and vice-versa. We were engaged 6 months later(april 05) and married by the end of 2005. I honestly feel that if we hadn't split up, we wouldn't be married today simply because we had both gotten far too comfortable with the crappyness we were in together. Did he date others? I don't think so...did I? No, but it gave us both time to think about what we really wanted.

i think its nice that splitting/taking a break worked for someone!

i have had times when i could not be around the other person and think straight. they were a distraction, because everytime something went down, the conversation turned into an argument, and nothing got accomplished. it seems like a cop out, just running out, but i think it just depends on what both parties really are thinking about when they want the break. after a vacation seems to be a popular time, i guess all that relaxing and thinking on the beach lol!

PrettyBoy · #11 08-11-2007, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

Ok, so I'm a few days late in responding, but you asked for someone who has successfully gotten back together after a break....and that is me. My husband and I (before we got married) took a break for about 6 months. We were living together and I felt like the relationship was going nowhere. So I got back from a trip and we broke it off. I moved out on my own...and did a lot of thinking. I realized that he was the person that I wanted in my life and vice-versa. We were engaged 6 months later(april 05) and married by the end of 2005. I honestly feel that if we hadn't split up, we wouldn't be married today simply because we had both gotten far too comfortable with the crappyness we were in together. Did he date others? No...did I? No, but it gave us both time to think about what we really wanted.

Well, now that you're married, there are no breaks for real. You've got to work out whatever it is you two go through, unless someone cheats or verbal and physical abuse is involved, God forbid that happen in your marriage. I only wish you two the best and hope you stay together forever, the way it should be with NO breaks this time.

33girl · #12 08-15-2007, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

I hear what you are saying, to the OP, but the question I posed is a bit different I think. Perhaps more information is needed, but w/o giving all that away I guess what you are saying is: no breaks. If there is some issue or issues that you cannot work out with your partner, then move on completely.

If you've never been in a really long relationship before, sometimes it's hard to know what's an issue that can't be resolved, and what's just the changing of the relationship due to time. You hate to just throw it away if it's the kind of change that's going to happen in any relationship. Ex-Mr 33 and I had this problem before we broke up. It didn't help that his good friend "Joe" and his girlfriend "Jane" had been breaking up and getting back together for 10 years (they are now married w/ baby) or that both our sets of parents had similar off & on things at points in their relationships. We were both kind of like "well, I guess this is just stuff that happens." It wasn't, though.