Meddling Mother-In-Law

[Tippiechick]

Yep, I am part of that club, too...

My MIL said, "If that's what you want to do with your life," when we told her we were marrying. She said, "Well, if that's what you WANT to do," when we told her we were having Max.

I recently went on vacation with her, Mr. Tippiechick, Max, Mr.'s nieces, and Mr.'s grandmother. I did not want her getting her claws into him or Max for a whole week. The whole time she made me feel like the worst mother EVER. She did things I don't want to even talk about...

I actually ended the vacation by calling her and her mother huge bitches. My husband saw for the first time in four years what I had been going through. He FINALLY saw his mom and grandmom for what they are and saw what they had been doing behind his back. He hasn't spoken to them since.

It's been wonderful

You have to figure out if there's hope for your guy. If he sees the things she's doing will he put a stop to it or will he try to not rock the boat? You have to decide what you are going to do if he doesn't want to cut the cord.

[astroAPhi]

I'm sorry Bette. My boyfriend and I aren't engaged, but his mom is kinda posessive too. She bought the properly across the backyard lake from her and thought that she could build a house there and then we could live in the current house while she lived across the lake. She wanted to build a bridge across the lake too! I totally sympathize with you.

Don't get me wrong, she's actually really nice and I guess it was thoughtful of her to offer that, but it really creeps me out! Maybe I should tell her that she won't have any grandchildren if she just lives across from us.

[AchtungBaby80]

I feel for you all with the overbearing mothers-in-law. My mom had the same problem, and it was not pretty...she says it gets worse after you're married, too. Maybe it's a good thing that I am no longer with The Guy Who Formerly Seemed Like The One, because he just couldn't seem to cut those apron strings...and she didn't mind one bit.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by Tippiechick
She did things I don't want to even talk about...

No fair, Tiffany! You can't tease us like that. C'mon, if you tell I'll share my stories such as when I was pregnant and living with the inlaws for a few weeks while Mr. KR was starting a new job in another state. I was in my first trimester (remember how exhausting that is?) and she woke me up at 5:45 am on a saturday morning to tell me I had to run to the market to get orange juice for breakfast because I'd finished the jug the night before.

[AGDee]

I was very lucky. I loved my first MIL. She and I were great friends and the only difficult part about leaving her son was that I was going to miss her. I was more sad about losing her than anything else. My second husband's mother had died a few weeks before I met him, so I didn't have to deal with her either. However, I would say you're in good shape as long as your fiance stays on your side. I would avoid conflict if confronted directly by saying something like "I appreciate your advice and we will consider it while making our decision". Then you're allowing her to express her opinion, avoiding a fight about it, but you're making it clear that the decision is between you and your husband in the end.

Dee

[Tippiechick]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
No fair, Tiffany! You can't tease us like that. C'mon, if you tell I'll share my stories such as when I was pregnant and living with the inlaws for a few weeks while Mr. KR was starting a new job in another state. I was in my first trimester (remember how exhausting that is?) and she woke me up at 5:45 am on a saturday morning to tell me I had to run to the market to get orange juice for breakfast because I'd finished the jug the night before.

Most of it was little stuff that finally added up.

Here's a few:

***On the way down to Florida, she got me in a conversation about m family. She proceeded to sweetly throw in jabs at each member she brought up. But, she did it in one of those ways that you really couldn't say anything about or she would have played innocent.

***Max had clothes that we had bought. But, she refused to put any of them on him. He had to wear the ones SHE bought because they were better.

***She took stuff out of the diaper bag I packed each day and put it in her diaper bag. Then, she would tell me there was no need to bring my bag.

***ANYTHING I told Max not to do she encouraged. Then, she'd talk about how cute he was doing those things and would make a point to show me.

***She told us we could have a day to ourselves and she'd watch Max. But, right before we were leaving for the beach she decided that she wanted time to herself and the nieces. This was literally as we were getting in the car.

***I wanted to go by my grandmother's house she had just sold on a nearby island. When we went by it, her and her mother made cracks about how spoiled I must be and no wonder I spend money like I do.

***I took them to another nearby island for sightseeing and shopping. When we got there they complained about having to drive so far from the house. (It was a 10 minute drive.) Then, they said they did not want to get out and be in such a ritzy area. She said she was refusing to even get out of the car. So, she made us all drive back to the house and play board games. (We only had her car, so we were at her mercy.)

***I wanted to take Max and Mr. Tippiechick to DisneyWorld. But, she refused to let us use the car to go because DW has an annual "GayDay" and she could not condone patronage of a pro-gay corporation.

***We went to a PRICEY, upscale restaurant for lunch. (Per her step-father's recommendation) As soon as she got there, she complained about the prices. Then, she rolled her eyes when I told Max to stop trying to pull the table cloth off of the table. She told me flat out that I was going to make him sick by giving him milk that was not watered down. She said she could not believe that I would do something that I knew would make Max sick. SHE PUT ON THE MASK THAT THEY GAVE IN MAX'S MEAL AND WORE IT ON HER FACE FOR ALMOST 10 MINUTES.


**She fussed at me for not letting the nieces watch Max while we played games. (They were in the same room, just a different area of it.) So, I finally gave in and let them watch him.
She and her mother had gotten upset because I had stopped the game previously to get something to drink. So, since the nieces were watching Max, I sat my plate with ketchup on the floor until the game stopped.
But, the brats decided to stop watching him without telling us. So he crawled into the ketchup and got it on him and the carpet. I fussed at them and asked them how they could do something as stupid as letting him crawl into ketchup while standing there laughing about it.
She told me it was my fault for not keeping an eye on him even though she had just fussed at me for not letting the girls watch him. She could not believe that I would blame the girls for the incident.

And the best for last...

***Her mother told everyone to make themselves at home. Whatever was needed, we were just to do or get ourselves. So, I did Max's laundry, because anyone who has kids knows they use at least 2-3 outfits per day. Her mother cornered me and told me that I was to immediately stop wasting her water and electricity. I was no longer to do the laundry, even though I had adjusted the loads to extra small.
*** Her mother then proceeded to make it known that she had told her family to make themselves at home. I was not her family. I was only a guest and should have acted accordingly.


Needless to say, my husband really got to see their true colors on this trip. I had bitten my tongue the whole time. But, finally we had both had it.

I have a SERIOUS MIL problem!
Its a LONG story too..I will post it in a few...

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by Tippiechick
Most of it was little stuff that finally added up....

In a way, the little things are even worse than the big things because at least with the big things it's easier to defend yourself.

She sounds HORRIBLE, Tiffany! What's going to happen in a few years is Max is going to start to notice that she is an unpleasant person and he is not going to want to be around her and she'll be upset about that. That's exactly what happened with my daughters and Mr. KR's parents. So sad, too bad I say!

[33girl]

Originally posted by Tippiechick
***I wanted to take Max and Mr. Tippiechick to DisneyWorld. But, she refused to let us use the car to go because DW has an annual "GayDay" and she could not condone patronage of a pro-gay corporation.

OMG if you have a friend (or you) who's proficient with a computer you could have SO much fun with her on this.

Find out her favorite stores etc and make up a website that says they are "embracing diversity in the workplace" and will hire only lesbians for the next 18 months. Then show it to her.

[sageofages]

Originally posted by 33girl
OMG if you have a friend (or you) who's proficient with a computer you could have SO much fun with her on this.

Find out her favorite stores etc and make up a website that says they are "embracing diversity in the workplace" and will hire only lesbians for the next 18 months. Then show it to her.

OH THAT is wickedly fun!!!!

[squirrely girl]

dear god - i'm so sorry tippiechick... your MIL SUCKS!

i thank my lucky stars that i like my MIL and my in-laws!

- marissa

[winnieb]

Originally posted by Tippiechick
[B]Most of it was little stuff that finally added up.

***I wanted to go by my grandmother's house she had just sold on a nearby island. When we went by it, her and her mother made cracks about how spoiled I must be and no wonder I spend money like I do.

Ohhh this is soooooo my MIL--- I can't tell you the amount of times that my MIL has said "well that is nice your family can do that, but my family can't--we aren't rich like your family." That was her excuse for my husband's family not coming to our wedding or reception-- it was too far and my family could afford to fly around the world for that sort of thing.

You MIL sounds horrible, you poor thing! And it is the little things that are harder to deal with. If it was one big thing, everyone would see it, all the little things it is easy for people to say that "she's just trying to be nice".
As long as your husband is supportive, it will all be okay!

[honeychile]

(((((((((((((((((Tippiechick)))))))))))))))))))

I can think of so many items that this woman could really use for Mother's Day, starting with SuperGlue for her mouth!

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by Tippiechick
Her mother cornered me and told me that I was to immediately stop wasting her water and electricity. I was no longer to do the laundry, even though I had adjusted the loads to extra small.
*** Her mother then proceeded to make it known that she had told her family to make themselves at home. I was not her family. I was only a guest and should have acted accordingly.

Oh, my Lord.

[Jill1228]

Tippechick,
Oh HELL NAW. Compared to your monster in law, mine ain't so bad!

Honeychile, you and I need to take a road trip. We are going to Costco to get a HUGE assed tube of Superglue and an even bigger tub of


(I think a tub of whoop ass is in order, don't you?)
Anyone wanna come along on our road trip? Tippiechick, KR????

Originally posted by honeychile
(((((((((((((((((Tippiechick)))))))))))))))))))

I can think of so many items that this woman could really use for Mother's Day, starting with SuperGlue for her mouth!