Do you still attend formals?

[texas*princess]

Originally posted by 33girl
Wouldn't they just let the chapter know if they were coming and pay for formal like everyone else? What's the difference? You pay the hotel (or wherever you're having it) and buy favors for whatever the amount of people is that are coming to the formal.

As far as drinking, that should have nothing to do with formal. Most formals now are under a third party vendor. It is their responsibility, not the sorority's. And as far as "drinking with" the chapter...theoretically the chapter shouldn't be drinking at all as a chapter, so if you're going to be breaking rules anyway, might as well invite the alums. **shrug**

I just think it's really sad that "risk management" takes precedence over making alums feel welcome.

As far as meetings are concerned, if there are SOME alums that are trying to run things or speaking out of turn in meetings...deal with them as individuals. Don't make all the alums feel unwanted and spurned.

Good post

[DolphinChicaDDD]

We are invited and can bring a guest as long as we pay for our date and self.
I went last semester, but I won't be attending this semester due to work obligations. It was strange last semester too, so I don't know if I would go to another formal.

[gpb1874]

Originally posted by 33girl


As far as meetings are concerned, if there are SOME alums that are trying to run things or speaking out of turn in meetings...deal with them as individuals. Don't make all the alums feel unwanted and spurned.

good point. my chapter had a few alums that would cause problems at events - we used to have an "open alum invitation" to events (including formal and socials) until a few started causing problems. exec started to require that alums be invited by them to events so the problem ones wouldn't come and create problems.

we do leave weekly meetings open, but request that they contact exec to let them know as a courtesy and it has worked well. we have also educated alums to let them know if they would like to speak at meeting, they need to get approval from exec before hand. again just to keep unneeded problems from flaring up (ie - alums coming to complain how "bad" things are since they left and the chapter is going down hill b/c they left)

technically, our procedures say alums can't come to meeting unless they have official business, but we felt it was unproductive to not allow them to attend if they are visiting for the weekend or just want to stop by and see how things are going. seems to work well now. chapter also invites alums to philanthropy and initiation.

[adpiucf]

Originally posted by 33girl
Wouldn't they just let the chapter know if they were coming and pay for formal like everyone else? What's the difference? You pay the hotel (or wherever you're having it) and buy favors for whatever the amount of people is that are coming to the formal

Often recent alumnae don't communicate their intent and show up without notifying those in charge. Try telling a chapterful of women that their social budget is busted for the rest of the school year.

Originally posted by 33girl As far as drinking, that should have nothing to do with formal. Most formals now are under a third party vendor. It is their responsibility, not the sorority's. And as far as "drinking with" the chapter...theoretically the chapter shouldn't be drinking at all as a chapter, so if you're going to be breaking rules anyway, might as well invite the alums. **shrug**

I just think it's really sad that "risk management" takes precedence over making alums feel welcome.[/B]

There was nothing my post about alcohol. ADPi formals are cash bar only.

Originally posted by 33girl
As far as meetings are concerned, if there are SOME alums that are trying to run things or speaking out of turn in meetings...deal with them as individuals. Don't make all the alums feel unwanted and spurned. [/B]

I wasn't solicitating a third-party evaluation on my sorority's alumnae-collegiate relations. I was responding to the original poster.

[33girl]

Originally posted by adpiucf
Often recent alumnae don't communicate their intent and show up without notifying those in charge. Try telling a chapterful of women that their social budget is busted for the rest of the school year.

Please tell me you're joking. I can't imagine anyone being this rude. If they want to pop in to the hotel and say hi fine...but do you mean to say they come with a date, and demand a meal and favors? Again, I can't even fathom that anyone would be this inconsiderate.

There was nothing my post about alcohol. ADPi formals are cash bar only.

I was responding to OP.

I wasn't solicitating a third-party evaluation on my sorority's alumnae-collegiate relations. I was responding to the original poster.
This wasn't directed at you or ADPi specifically, again I was responding to OP as well as anyone else who has this policy.

[CarolinaCutie]

Phi Mu alumnae ARE allowed to participate in many collegiate functions, including attending meetings as advisers, assisting with Recruitment, etc.

What LyonLuv was referring to is the separation of collegiate and alumnae members when it comes to social functions where alcohol is served. Alumnae members are not invited to our formals or other social events unless the function is dry. I do not know the exact reasoning behind this, but it is a strict national policy that is followed by my own chapter. Even sisters who have "temporarily" gone alum, like those who are under full time hours, are not permitted to attend social functions even as the "date" of a collegiate sister.

But it is incorrect to say that alumnae are not allowed to participate in anything collegiate-related. We welcome the active participation of alumnae with collegiate chapters.

[adpiucf]

Originally posted by 33girl
Originally posted by adpiucf
Often recent alumnae don't communicate their intent and show up without notifying those in charge. Try telling a chapterful of women that their social budget is busted for the rest of the school year.

Please tell me you're joking. I can't imagine anyone being this rude. If they want to pop in to the hotel and say hi fine...but do you mean to say they come with a date, and demand a meal and favors? Again, I can't even fathom that anyone would be this inconsiderate.


This wasn't directed at you or ADPi specifically, again I was responding to OP as well as anyone else who has this policy.

Thanks for the clarification. And yes, there are people who are that inconsiderate, both alum and collegian. At a formal a few years ago, a very flustered social chair had to write a personal check for several hundred dollars to temporarily cover the overflow of (collegiate and recent alum) attendees who crashed the formal-- these were members hadn't RSVP'd themselves or their dates despite a signup sheet and several weeks worth of announcements. The room wasn't large enough to accomodate the overflow and the hotel was not very interested in doing business again with that group.

[RedRoseSAI]

Originally posted by sairose
Yes, in fact alums are encouraged to come to ours. We always have alums at ours...at least 5 will be at our formal in April.

GIRL! Where have you been lately? I've been one lonely rose...

Anyway, I'm attending the formal for a local college chapter this weekend. I'm one of the advisors. I haven't been to a chapter formal since I was in college, so it should be interesting!

[Glitter650]

[i] chapter also invites alums to philanthropy and initiation. [/B]

I believe Phi Sig rules state that initiation MUST be held at a time when it is convienent for alumnae to attend.

[sairose]

Originally posted by RedRoseSAI
GIRL! Where have you been lately? I've been one lonely rose...

Anyway, I'm attending the formal for a local college chapter this weekend. I'm one of the advisors. I haven't been to a chapter formal since I was in college, so it should be interesting!

MIA, I guess. LOL Actually, been trying to balance 18 hours, being SAI President, and just got through with my senior recital...guess that's where I've been. I'm trying to come around again though.

Originally posted by Glitter650
I believe Phi Sig rules state that initiation MUST be held at a time when it is convienent for alumnae to attend.

When I was on EC (both as an officer and later as an advisor) we always took this into consideration when planning the upcoming year's calendar. We worked with the alumnae chapter to ensure that none of our events fell on the same day so we could get as much alumnae support as possible.

[texas*princess]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
When I was on EC (both as an officer and later as an advisor) we always took this into consideration when planning the upcoming year's calendar. We worked with the alumnae chapter to ensure that none of our events fell on the same day so we could get as much alumnae support as possible.

I would definitely like to see this happen w/ our alum association & the chapter

[kddani]

Originally posted by adpiucf
Thanks for the clarification. And yes, there are people who are that inconsiderate, both alum and collegian. At a formal a few years ago, a very flustered social chair had to write a personal check for several hundred dollars to temporarily cover the overflow of (collegiate and recent alum) attendees who crashed the formal-- these were members hadn't RSVP'd themselves or their dates despite a signup sheet and several weeks worth of announcements. The room wasn't large enough to accomodate the overflow and the hotel was not very interested in doing business again with that group.

Then why on earth were they allowed in?

i'm not sure of the current social policies for KD, but I believe we were required to have a bouncer.

And anyone who hadn't paid sure as heck wasn't allowed in!

Originally posted by kddani
Then why on earth were they allowed in?

i'm not sure of the current social policies for KD, but I believe we were required to have a bouncer.

And anyone who hadn't paid sure as heck wasn't allowed in!

Our bouncer was a third party bouncer hired by the chapter. Using alums to check IDs is too risky, alums could easily overlook the fact that the member isn't 21.

[astroAPhi]

Our chapter has always followed a supposed rule that alumnae are not able to attend our Forget-Me-Not formal or mixers because of insurance reasons. Lately I've started to question whether it is a real rule, but I am starting to question the truth to it. I should probably know this considering I'm now on the Chapter Advisory board.

I can see why it wouldn't be a good idea for alumnae to attend some events, like a fraternity mixer. I can see both pros and cons for Formal, but I do think it would be nice to be able to invite alumnae there with dates so that local alumnae have a chance to get together with each other and meet some of the new chapter members.

I think it all comes down to there is a collegiate experience and an alumnae experience. Yes, things like rituals are what link those together, but as an alumnae, I don't think I'd enjoy partying with 18-year olds anymore. In a formal setting it would be nice, but a fraternity mixer would be pretty old.