Now about these wedding plans...

[AOIIBrandi]

My sister is getting married in May. Her biggest stress has been the budget - even though my parents are paying for the entire thing. The dress was also an issue - but seems to have been resolved. If you are going to buy her dress in ATL PM me, so I can tell you where NOT to shop. We bought my sister's dress here and the bridal shop has been horrible.

*sorry, wedding vent now over*

Other than that, my sister is big on the message boards at Ultimate Wedding , it's set up a lot like greekchat but for weddings.

Please tell her congratulations. Have a great time planning, there is a lot of stress involved, but the end result is always worth it!

[astroAPhi]

Congratulations to your daughter and her fiance! The strapless 2-piece bridesmaids dresses are great, too! One thing about David's Bridal that I'm sure they will tell you is that you should order all of the dresses together to make sure they get made in the same lot so they will be the same exact color. This also cuts down on the problem mentioned earlier about discontinued styles.

BTW, don't fall for the "go a whole size up even if it fits perfect and get 2 alterations" crap they try to give you. I called a local alterations place and they told me to come in 5 weeks before the wedding and that I only had to do it once. Cost me $20 instead of God knows what.

[ISUKappa]

Originally posted by aephi alum
... If she wants her bridesmaids to carry bright pink and orange flowers, and you know that will clash horribly with their red dresses, certainly you can advise her to rethink her choice, but ultimately it's her choice. (Although I'm sure she has better taste than that! ) ...

Wait just a minute, I had my bridesmaids carry bright pink and orange and yellow and red bouquets (each had a separate color) with their red bridesmaids dresses and everyone complemented on them. See...

More hints/ideas:

* use the covers of old Christmas cards for table decorations, reply cards, seating cards or wish bowl cards. Great way to recycle old, pretty cards and keep a festive Christmas theme

* use ornaments as decorations/favors. They're relatively inexpensive and make pretty mementos.

* if they're on a tight budget, borrow anything and everything you can where decorations are concerned. We had mirrored square tiles that were originally bought for my oldest sister's first wedding, used for my middle sister's wedding, used again for my oldest sister's second wedding, used for another friend's wedding, used for my middle sister's sister-in-law's wedding, then used for her brother-in-law's wedding, used by me at my wedding and then later lent to someone else to use at their wedding.

* Do as much as possible, as early as possible. Start making favors as soon as she knows what she wants to do, buy decorations early, buy attendant favors and have them wrapped and ready well before the big day. The fewer things she has to worry about the closer it gets to the wedding, the better it will be for everyone.

Christmas wedding ideas
Christmas-themed cake ideas

[xo_kathy]

I'm getting married 9 weeks from tomorrow so I'll tell you what I know (bear in mind I'm a laid back Yankee, so some of this might not hold true in Gerogia! ) Please excuse the novel...

Have her get on theknot.com. The local boards are a god-send!!! I found my dj, location, seamstress, florist, transportation, guest hotel and more from recommendations of other ladies in the area. HOWEVER, do not get bogged down in all the stuff the other "knotties" are doing. People are asking for poems to go with bathroom baskets, which color ribbon to put on the favors etc etc. Sometimes it makes you feel a bit inadequate so she needs to remember what is important to her.

For the dress, think serioualy about getting it online. You can save a bundle. I tried on dresses at all sorts of salons, found the one I loved, and ordered it from pearlsplace.com for 40% less than in the salon. I lucked out and found a dress that wasn't too expensive in the first place, but if she's looking in the $1000 range then this can be a huge savings. These places are generally real bridal stores that will sell you dresses at the huge discount because you are never coming in and using their time/facilities. The ones you hear a lot about on the knot are the place I listed above, netbride.com, rkbridal.com, bridesave.com and Discount Bridal Service (dbs.com I think).

Also, this is NOT meant to put anyone down, but please consider other designers besides David's. I got my veil and tiara there, so I'm not anti-David's, I just think for the money you pay there, you can get a better quality dress. My dress is Mori Lee, she's a cheaper designer. The quality of my dress far exceeds the ones I saw at David's for a comparable price. In fact, my seamstress even commented on the quality for the price of my dress. Again, David's has some beautiful dresses! I'm just saying, if you are trying to save, don't limit yourself to just David's. If she finds her dream there, go for it, but just know there are other options as well.

As far as decor, you will save a BUNDLE because everywhere will already be decorated for the holidays!

And lastly, I think all you need for planning is to get a bridal magazine and find the To Do List. There is one in EVERY issue. It gives you a good timeline and all the stuff you need to take care of (even things like changing insurance papers). I then bought myslef a handy pocket calendar and at each month I wrote what needs to be done that month. As I do it I check it off the calendar and the list. You don't want to get too many lists going because somewhere something will be missed.

OK, I'm done I think. Good luck, don't stress too much, and have a wonderful time!!!!!!

[Munchkin03]

Most facilities discourage the use of birdseed now. I remember it used to be standard.

We were planning a memorial service in a building that is often used for wedding receptions. I can't remember how many times the staff told us that WE COULD NOT THROW BIRDSEED. Um...yeah. The next time I'm at a memorial service, I'm going to throw birdseed just for the hell of it.

[Rudey]

What's so hard about planning a wedding? I never understood this.

You wear a dress, the guy wears a tux. Oh and by the way you think your dress is special but every fricking wedding gown is white and is the same.

You pick a place to have it (church, home, hall, or courthouse).

You pick the standard food (chicken or fish).

You pick flowers (they're flowers...they all look the same).

And you register for gift.

Why is it so hard for chicks to have weddings?

-Rudey

[PsychTau2]

One of the things I'm most proud of myself for (during my wedding planning) was to get the cathedral length veil and headpiece for a total of $25.

I wanted a crystal tiara type of headpiece, so I was shopping around at smaller bridal stores getting ideas. Most of the smaller tiaras were inching closer to $100...I was seriously considering ordering one from a prom catalog!! (Which isn't a bad idea nowdays....). Anyway, I found some on clearance because the metal band (that would have been hidden by my hair anyway) was tarnished. BINGO!! A $90 tiara for $20.

The cathedral length veil was easy...go to a craft store, purchase tulle (however long you want it), purchase the plain clear hair combs (or barrette or whatever works with her hair...look in the bridal section at a craft store), cut and decorate the tulle (I had a simple rolled hem on mine), and attach to the comb. Put the headpiece on your head, slide the comb in near the headpiece to achieve the right look.

I also had my formal portraits made without my veil in (just the tiara) just so they would be different.

Have fun!!!
PsychTau

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Someone offered to make a veil for me as a wedding gift so that's one thing less for me to worry about.

I know that carnation started this thread to help her daughter, but the suggestions and advice are really helping me right now so thank you.

[chideltjen]

Budget!!!!! I know planners that have bride and grooms asking for LOANS for weddings. Don't forget that there is more to a marriage than a wedding.

That said:
Weekday weddings (Friday evenings and such) are cheaper than getting a wedding done on a Saturday. I know most weddings are on Saturdays... but that's why they are so much more expensive. You will probably have better luck getting something on a Thursday or Friday because everyone and their mom will be renting reception halls during the holidays for things other than weddings. You will also save money on the limos.

If you plan on getting married after Christmas, the church will already be decorated white. (That is, if it's a Catholic church.)

My friends from church do some event coordinating and decorating. They swear by dollar stores and Wal-mart. Swear to God. It's not where it's from, it's what you do with it really. You can get some really inexpensive tulle/netting from Wal-mart, as apposed to going to Joanns or high end bridal stores. Most people won't notice the difference. And dollar stores sometimes have REALLY good glass bowls that can be dressed up with flowers, garland, etc.

[sigmagrrl]

Two things I suggest:

1) This is HER wedding...Don't take over...I know you are excited and she is the first, but don't take over...Be there but remember it is HER day!

2) Don't stress...It's NOT going to be perfect....You can try, but something may go wrong. If isht goes wrong, try to deal the best you can and move on....It's one day...

REMEMBER IT'S ABOUT THE MARRIAGE, NOT THE WEDDING!

[AOIIBrandi]

E-bay is a good source too. My sister got the mirrors for the table from there, as well as a few other things. She is also buying the stuff for the "bridesmaid emergency kits" and bathroom baskets from the $1 aisle at Target.

[xo_kathy]

I remembered something else!

If you are paying for any/all of this, let your daughter know exactly how much right off the bat! I tried to get my dad to tell me his budget and he always brushed it over because he wasn't "comfortable" talking about it. It caused much unnecessary stress when looking for a place (is this too much?), putting together a guest list, etc etc.

Also, Rudey, you sound exactly like my fiance! How I wish it was that easy. Trust me, I think it's a lot less about women being crazy, and a lot more about the industry in general. When I looked in March of 04 for a potential date of a year later, all the places had 2 Saturdays left in all of Spring/summer/Fall 2005!!!

[AOPIHottie]

When I was planning my wedding(even though it never happened) I LIVED by the planner I bought. It was small enough to carry around and had TONS of lists in it. It even listed a hundred flowers and the seasons you were able to get them in. And I strongly believe that it doesnt matter where you buy the stuff or how much you spend on it, if you can use some creativity you can make anything look fancy! Good luck!!

[AOIIalum]

How exciting!!!

Tell the photographer (and videographer, if applicable) if there are any specific pictures or poses the couple wants. While you're at it, tell the photographer if there are any shots the couple DOESN'T want. I wish I had another dozen pictures of us with our toddler niece, with DH's grandmother, with my father, or with my best friend/maid of honor instead of the pile of 'stylish' prints we specified we didn't want in the first place!

Also, if the bride and groom will be serenaded make sure the photographer and videographer captures those moments on film. Thank heavens our photographer got that right

[Jill1228]

Congrats to your Daughter and her fiance. I was a December bride too

1. Tell your daughter that her future husband can NOT get away with "this is your Christmas/Anniversary" gift unless it is one hell of a gift.
Mr. 1228 jokingly wanted to set our wedding date for December 27 so he could do the one gift for Christmas, anniversary and my birthday. I didn't fall for that!

2. Set a budget and plan a timeline for doing things
3. Ebay is your friend
4. you can be elegant but comfy on your wedding day.
5. relax and breathe
When the stress gets to you, sit down and go to this wedding site

Etiquette Hell
and go to the wedding section and be prepared to :
1. laugh your ass off
2. tell your family and friends "if I act like this please kill me!"

This is HER wedding, don't forget that. Let her lead and plan

Good luck!