Not invited

[wrigley]

Sounds like the bride may have a low turn out at her bridal shower. Hmmm wonder why?

[XOMichelle]

The hispanic comment (if made) was totally out of bounds. I can see your cousin inviting your mom and your sister because they are the relatives she is close to, and I can understand you sister wanting to go because they were close growing up. However, wedding ettiquite is strict, and they should have read some books that told them how to handle this situation.

It's their prerogative who they want to invite and not invite. It's their wedding day, and they're paying for it with their own pockets, so I don't think it's up to you or anyone on GC to call them classless and tacky.

[AKA_Monet]

Your cousin should not be having a $100 plate dinner wedding reception if she cannot afford to invite ALL her family to her wedding... Her money would be better spent for another purpose rather than a huge shindig. The more costly the wedding, the quicker the divorce...

Besides, she is really not starting off on the right foot by picking and choosing family members to attend her wedding--no matter how distant they are to her--I don't care how expensive any plate for a reception is, you just DO NOT selectively invite family members that you know about--except those who are the penitentiary...

As far as the jacked up Latino comment, you outta have a full on, stereotypical Latino action going to both the bridal shower and wedding with full on Marachi (sp?) band and the variety of bright colors and only speak Spanish to they asses... Full sterotypical... Just to piss her off and embarass her for such a sorry comment... 'Cuz that was foul to say some chit like--his bullisht assed "well to do" family is uncomfortable with hers... WTF? She thinks she's marrying into his "richness"? I don't think so!!!

Totally starting off on the wrong foot...

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
It's their prerogative who they want to invite and not invite. It's their wedding day, and they're paying for it with their own pockets, so I don't think it's up to you or anyone on GC to call them classless and tacky.

Marry me now.

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
The more costly the wedding, the quicker the divorce...

Ain't that the truth?

Originally posted by Munchkin03
Marry me now.

Only if you promise that we'll have an open marriage so we can marry each member of the H&A.

[CASIGKAP]

Regarding the "A" list & the "B" list, I don't think they have one b/c I didn't mention one fact. I have 6 sisters & 1 brother. Only one of my sisters were invited. The 7 other siblings were excluded. My aunt (my cousins godmother) was not invited either nor her 3 grown children. It's obvious to me that she is just a biatch.

Also, I think it would be funny to show up anyway & be the stereotypical Mexicans. I won't do it though b/c as annoying & rude as she is, I love her parents. My aunt & uncle had nothing to do with this & are both heartbroken over it but she is their only daughter & have been waiting for 40 years to walk her down the aisle. I have respect for them & that is why I have not made waves. Yet.

[_Lisa_]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
It's their prerogative who they want to invite and not invite. It's their wedding day, and they're paying for it with their own pockets, so I don't think it's up to you or anyone on GC to call them classless and tacky.

Oh come on! Anyone here will admit that it is their wedding therefore they can invite anyone they want to, but you've got to admit that its pretty tacky to invite only 1 sibling of 7. If you don't want all of them you don't invite any of them.

Even though I'm appalled at my own cousin for not inviting any of us to his wedding (even my grandmother!!!) at least he didn't invite just one of us and leave the rest of us out!

Tomorrow two of my co-workers are getting married and they wanted nothing but a small wedding with only their close family there. Because they knew this could hurt many of their close friends and extended family they held a reception of sorts last weekend for anyone that wanted to come. The only gift they asked for was our presence there and they did it in such a classy manner that everyone showed up and had a great time. I'm not saying everyone has to try to have something else for those they aren't inviting to their wedding but that is what I consider class.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
Only if you promise that we'll have an open marriage so we can marry each member of the H&A.

An open marriage is fine with me, but an OPEN BAR is much more important.

[kappaloo]

I hate to admit it, but I can see me where your cousin is about 2 years from now. Weddings are expensive. I really don't know if I'll be able to invite my cousins. But... the mistakes as I see them is consistancy. I will be consistant with my invitations. If I invite a cousin - I invite all cousins. If I invite an aunt - I invite all aunts. I mean, you have to give yourselfs blankets to hide under.

If it weren't for the remark about you "not fitting in" I'd really believe it was just a cost of money, and that, maybe I could understand. But if she's going to blanket her inconsistency with remarks that smell of racism - that's just unacceptable.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
It's their prerogative who they want to invite and not invite. It's their wedding day, and they're paying for it with their own pockets, so I don't think it's up to you or anyone on GC to call them classless and tacky.

Yes. It's tacky to have a B-list, but people should invite whomever they want to the wedding.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by CASIGKAP

F.Y.I. The other reason we were excluded was b/c she told us point blank that his well-to-do family is not used to being around people like us. We're not sure what this means but I'm afraid it's a reference to the fact that we're Latino & not white like his family.

That just seems to reek of self-hatred and being ashamed of one's family.

She can do what she wants and all, but karma's a bitch.

Originally posted by crzychx
Oh come on! Anyone here will admit that it is their wedding therefore they can invite anyone they want to, but you've got to admit that its pretty tacky to invite only 1 sibling of 7. If you don't want all of them you don't invite any of them.

If you want some of them, you should invite some of them. It's their wedding, so they should have whomever they want. Whoever thinks that's tacky simply shouldn't show up. Accept the fact that you weren't wanted there and suck it up. Harsh, I know...but shit happens.

It's not worth losing any sleep.

[BabyP]

well - weddings are expensive - honestly - i wonder why she didnt invite you guys for the church ceremony and for you to come after the food if she is worried about costs of food. I had some mexican friends that did that - they understood that they want to invite family and close friends cuz they are poor and dont have enough food adn many people showed up after the food for the dancing part and everyone was happy. But on the other hand- I went to a traditional mexican wedding ( a different one) I was maid of honor but I almost fell asleep it was soooo long 2 hours and ON a sunday - i was like come on...... lol hurry up lol. by the way she married a gringo (white guy) and his family was clueless by some of the stuff they did (traditional mexican things) and i could see a big question mark above their heads. Sometimes its hard cuz of culture clash. I am worried whenever I date someone from a big family cuz i wont be able to invite EVERYONE. Maybe its not your cousin - it could be the guy speaking through her ya know??? `

[wrigley]

Originally posted by BabyP
. Maybe its not your cousin - it could be the guy speaking through her ya know??? `

BabyP has a point. It sounds like the in-laws have more than enough input for a wedding they supposedly aren't helping with. I can only imagine what hoops she had to jump through for them.
Or what lies she's told them or the future groom for that matter.

As for his relatives not being comfortable, at most weddings I've gone to usually you hang out with people you know. Are they planning forced party games between guests you don't know each other at the reception?

There are others who've said it better than I on this thread. Yes it is her day. And her reasons to the relatives as to why they weren't on the the guest list could have been said differently.

For her sake the marriage had better last.