Dating/marrying outside your religion

[Phasad1913]

I tried it and it didn't work too well. I think it takes two very strong individuals to pull it off. Religion is a big deal, it is the fabric of ones entire being and view of life so if the person you care a great deal about sees things so differently, I don't really see how it could work, especially if the religions are very different. (I am aware of those of you who say you've done it/are doing it, but I am speaking from the experience of having known people for whom this ended up causing some real problems in their relationships)

[Sister Havana]

I'm Jewish and I have yet to seriously date a Jewish guy. There aren't exactly tons of them near me.

If I ever get married, I'd love to marry a Jewish guy, but that's not the most important factor for me.

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

Hmm- I guess I'm on a level of "does it matter?" If there is enough basis for a relationship (more than just an attraction and a few things in common) then you should be able to overcome it

I've dated:
Wiccans
Methodists
Buddhists (techincally Buddhism is a philosophy and not a religion)
Lutherans
a Kabbalist, a Jew and a Catholic

as for race/ethnicity/nationality:
caucasian-americans of various ancestry
african-american
asian-american
Bosnian immigrant
Irish immigrant
a Spaniard and a New Zealander

I am marrying outside of my religion.

But considering that I hadn't decided what denomination was right for me until we'd been dating and engaged for some time, it wasn't a deal breaker at that point.

I have always been more "religious/spiritual/into the whole God thing" than my fiance has, but he does have some strong beliefs - he just doesn't like organized religion.

Our religious beliefs were something we discussed very early on in dating. We feel pretty much the same way on almost everything and are in agreement as to what we'll teach our children.... it's just that mine will have a name on them and a place I go on Sundays, and his he preferrs to keep at home.

[GeekyPenguin]

I wouldn't date someone who had religious beliefs that seriously differed from mine - I could handle a Jew or a Protestant, but not a polytheist.

[winneythepooh7]

My last significant relationship, a lot of the reason related to our break up was due to religious differences. And I am not even religious. I was raised Protestant and he's Jewish. I could write a book on this matter. I am going to keep my mouth shut though. All I am going to say is if it's meant to be, someone won't TELL you that YOU should convert to be like them, the relationship will just work out and no one will have to "convert" to anything (especially he they aren't willing to change for YOU). To add fuel to the fire, there is a saying amongst many people that I know that "Jewish boys will date ya but they won't marry ya". I went to Yeshiva University for grad school so everyone automatically ASSumes I am Jewish.

[SigKapBling]

i personally dont think that its a big deal if someone is a different religion than you. if you are truly happy with that person, then their religious beliefs should not be a factor in any decisions you make regarding your future.
i was raised in an extremely roman catholic italian neighborhood in new york, and never really knew any one other religion - knew OF just not knew personally - and then i moved to las vegas, and all of the friends that i have made, literally are all jewish. all of the guys anyways.
i actually started to date a protestant when i got here, and now im seeing a VERY nice jewish boy and im happy, and so are my catholic parents.
we've had the chit chat that if i was ever to marry a jewish guy, how would i raise my kids, and my response is really just to take it as it comes - im not really going to worry about how im going to raise children in 8 years, because im sure that my marriage wont fail by my husband and i having differences in religious views...
i dont know, i just think that if you are honestly and truly happy that you will work around certain things!

[Kevin]

Originally posted by SigKapBling
i personally dont think that its a big deal if someone is a different religion than you. if you are truly happy with that person, then their religious beliefs should not be a factor in any decisions you make regarding your future.
i

For some, to be happy with someone, they need to be the same religion.

[SigKapBling]

For some, to be happy with someone, they need to be the same religion.

you are right, ktsnake, but i just meant that I think its ok, just because i think it, doesnt mean its right for everyone! its cool whatever way that you yourself are totally and completley happy. it doesnt matter what others think, as long as you are ok with whatever you choose.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by SigKapBling
you are right, ktsnake, but i just meant that I think its ok, just because i think it, doesnt mean its right for everyone! its cool whatever way that you yourself are totally and completley happy. it doesnt matter what others think, as long as you are ok with whatever you choose.

Agreed.

[SigKapBling]

awesome awesome. glad to hear it

[astroAPhi]

I personally would have to marry someone who is at least some form of Christian. He doesn't have to be dropping to his knees every 5 seconds to pray, but he has to at least believe.

The boy and I are on equal footing religion-wise, so it works out well.

[PhiPsiRuss]

Its never been important to me. The only girls that I've dating seriously were WASPish.

[emperorclb]

Dating outside of your religion dosent seem like it whould be problem at all. But the only time i think it would become an issue would be when the couple decideds to get more serious, like marrage and or children. Because then the problems come in with traditions about marrage and what religion or belifes will be passed on to the children. I personaly would want my children o be christian as i am, so they can be raised up with christian belifes so when i get married the woman would have to be christian. Or ok with the children being christian, even though it may eventualy come up that she has a diff. religion from me. But i know i could never call my self being in a serious relationship with a girl who was anti-christian becuz that would mean she had something against me as well. So yeah i think that dating is O.K., as long as it not gonna get serious.

[honeychile]

What really matters is the intensity each of the people in a relationship feels for religion - theirs or anyone else's. Two people of different religions, but with the same amount of intensity towards it, can make it if they really want to make it work.

Personally, while I have dated wonderful men outside of my religion (especially one very interesting Jewish man), I haven't done so in years. Nor would I consider it. My religious journey was long, and I intend to stay on that path.