Changing your name

[Jill1228]

Since I am estranged from my father, I dropped my maiden name. I no longer wanted anything to do with it. I go by Jill MYmiddlename HisLastName

My husband would have been cool with whatever I wanted to do. He was the one who suggested I keep my last name. But after my father dissed me for the last time, I knew I was going to toss the maiden name
I am with Val, a woman should do whatever she wants

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by ariesrising
I am going to add it to my name I think.

So I'd go from:

Jennifer Carol MaidenName to
Jennifer Carol MaidenName LastName

I think it works=)

WOW! Is that actually your name?? I hate to stank myself out here, but I have to do it now.

My name is Jennis Carroll lastname!!!

I'll also be going with Jennis Carroll maidenname lastname.

Actually, though it's not on my birth certificate, I am commonly referred to (by the family) as:

Jennis Carroll mother'smaidenname lastname

So I think I might even go ahead and say:

Jennis Carroll mother'smaiden maiden lastname - and go by Jennis lastname

(First name and mother's maiden are from Mother; Middle name and "maiden name" are from Father)

[aephi alum]

I tacked my husband's last name onto my own, keeping my middle name and maiden name as my two midle names. I go by Ms. (not Mrs.) Hislastname.

Why? I feel very close to him and his family. I had only been working for about a year, so I didn't have a pressing professional need to keep the same name. Plus his last name is very distinctive, and I like it better than my maiden name. I thought about hyphenating, but his name is just too darn long!

What really irritates me is when people address things to "Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname." I took his last name, not his first! I am told that "Mrs. Herfirstname Hislastname" would indicate that she is divorced... which is part of why I use Ms. rather than Mrs.

Each couple should decide for themselves what to do about their last name - whether it's the "traditional" she-takes-his-name, she keeps her maiden name, she keeps her maiden name professionally but changes it socially, he takes her name, one or both of them hyphenate, or they both change to a new last name. Massachusetts makes this very easy: On the marriage certificate, there is a column for the groom and another for the bride. Each party states their full name, then underneath is the surname after marriage. So people can do whatever they want, and I think that's as it should be.

[cash78mere]

i'll take my husband's last name and completely drop my maiden name. i like the traditional way.

but also, i completely hate my father and want nothing to do with him and therefore don't want his name associated with me.

i don't like the idea of keeping my maiden name as a middle name. i know a few people who do, and i think a last name as a middle name sounds funny in many cases.

[Munchkin03]

I'm keeping my name. I've already published work and have built up some professional credibility under THIS name; in academia, it's not a very good idea to have publications by one person under several different names. That's why you'll see women who have been divorced for decades still go under Husband #1's name. In smallish fields such as mine--you really don't want to do the name switch.

Also, my name reflects my ethnicity. If I hated my father's last name and my family so much, believe me, I would have changed it loooong before marriage was a possibility. If someone from my area knows my last name, they'll also know who my "people" are. It's a variation on a very common name, but it is limited to a small area of the state. Mr. Munch's name is the same way--it reflects his background, not mine! I'd rather keep my last name. It doesn't mean I love him any less; nor does it mean that women who change their names love their husbands more than I will love mine.

Maybe things would be different if I were a Jones or a Smith.

Also, Sister Munch kept her name. My nephew has a hyphenated name. He has both of his parents' last names. Where is the confusion in that?

Besides, there are already two Mrs.________. There really don't need to be any more.

[PhiPsiRuss]

If, and when I get married, I simply don't care if my wife keeps her name. Whatever she decides is fine with me.

One thing that I do not like, however, is hypenated last names for children. What happens when a child with a hyphenated last name goes on to marry someone with a hyphenated last name? Do their children's hyphenated last names get hyphenated?

[Jill1228]

Munch, I have a friend that goes by her maiden name professionally and her married name socially. Funny I met her after she got married but only really know her by her maiden name (she is one of the news reporters on the local news radio stations).

As far as my old man (aka the sperm donor), the final dissing and the straw that broke the camels back happened 3 months before my wedding. I wouldn't hyphenate because it would sound weird with our last names.

My husband's ex wife went back to her maiden name

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by ariesrising
Yes it is=) Says so on my birth certificate=)

That's wild!! If your last initial is B I'd really freak.

[AlphaFrog]

I'm going to move my maiden name to my middle name....but I really haven't decided if I will keep my middle name and just have 2. I would just drop my last name like tradtion, but my finace is Mexican and if/when we go to Mexico, if I use my madien as a middle name, I will already be within custom as Mexico is different then here...
Example...when the baby is born it is here in the US either:
Maria Anna Mylastname Hislastname

or

Juan Pedro Mylastname Hislastname

But when we travel/move to Mexico, it's the other way around, the father's name is first...and when a woman gets married in Mexico, if she chooses (yes, I was suprised to find that even in Mexico many women don't change their names) their husband's name replaces their mother's last name...

Ok now that I've confused you all with non-relevant info...

[/south of the border hijack]

[swissmiss04]

I will keep my name professionally, but if I ever had kids I'd probably hyphenate. I like hyphenated names in most cases. My sister babysat for a little girl whose last name was "Jerkowicz-Tankersley" That poor poor little girl

[Rudey]

If a wife didn't take my name, she wouldn't be my wife.

-Rudey
--I don't date girls who get strength from not changing their names.

[smiley21]

like i said, women can do whatever the heck that they want. i am very traditional when it comes to marriage.

it is really no big deal for the woman to change her name. but every woman thinks differently.

i am trying to use caution with my explaining my viewpoint. i just think that the husband's name should continue on in the family.

[Taualumna]

I don't think making one's maiden name her middle name after marriage is all that weird, since you're probably not going to use it on a regular basis. It's only on legal documents that it is used. At work, the name tag outside my cubicle/office will say Cynthia Husbandsname. I also don't have a problem being listed as Mrs. Husbandsfirstname Husbandslastname on social invitations. But then again, I'm kind of old fashioned.

[AGDee]

First marriage: Took his name and didn't change it back after the divorce. I had pretty much just gotten everything switched over and it was such a hassle! Denise Marie 1sthubname

Second marriage: Changed it to Denise Maidenname 2ndhubname

It remains that now (even though we're divorced). If you don't change your name, just don't get haughty with the school when they call you Mrs. Hislastname because they just tend to go with the kids' names. It's so confusing for them! They sometimes refer to my ex as my husband, and usually catch themselves and apologize. I tell them not to worry.

Many of the women I work with were published already when they got married and kept their maiden names. Most who were not published took their husbands names.

It's very individual. But, as I said, if your name is different than your childrens' names, don't get rude if someone calls you Mrs. Child's last name.

Dee

[lauralaylin]

I was having this same conversation a few days ago. I was really surprised at the number of people (men and women) who thought the woman keeping her maiden name was best. It wasn't an issue for me at all, but I've noticed a pattern in this thread-if a woman doesn't get along well with her father, she wants to change her name. That is definitely me.

What I want to know is, what are the reasons for not changing your name? Is everyone doing if for merely professional reasons? Or is it also a sort of independence thing?