This is gonna sound so stupid... but I'm worried...

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I am not even gonna touch the question above...but...

I think that part of the original question is whether sororities foster too much competition and stress appearance so much that girls develop eating disorders, self-esteem isssues, etc.

I wish I could answer that, but it really depends on the individual chapter. Different chapters pride themselves on different things. Look around during rush, you can figure out which groups are telling you about their philanthropies and which groups are telling you about their social calendars. Then you choose the one whose values are most similar to yours.

[James]

I think she was just putting them out there kind of randomly . .. no harm done. She has all the usual features so she should be fine .. two arms and legs etc.

Originally posted by kddani
I'm not quite sure why the pics were necessary, unless you're looking for us to reaffirm your belief that you're hot stuff......?

[decadence]

Exactly. Though as an aside most people can do with that reaffirmation every now and then :shrug:.
What James said.

[H0neymoon]

Originally posted by starang21
i don't get it. why do so many women justify themselves through how much attention they get from men? or am i just crazy?

Just to touch on this... for me, I think I actually feel better about myself when a girl pays me a compliment, rather than a guy.

A guy's appreciation on the female form is very different to that of a woman's and quite honestly I know plenty of girls who I would consider 'unatractive' who get tons of attention from... the wrong sort of.... guys!

For a woman who I consider beautiful to come up to me and pay me a compliment... that means so much more than an "Oi, you're fit, my friend wants to do you" screeched from some random guy! haha, then again, I'm not saying all guys are vulgar, but I hope you get my point! xxx

[kddani]

Originally posted by James
On every campus there is a chapter that is less attractive, join them. That way you will stand out and get more of the better looking guys.

Eh, but there's also the possibility that that may only last for a semester or two. When I joined my chapter, there were two girls in particular in my pledge class that everyone thought were SO cute and outgoing and would do SO much for the chapter (b/c they were cute). So the sisters all fawned over them and kissed their behinds. Well, by the time I graduated, those girls would've been considered some of the "ugly" ones. House composition can change a lot in a few years. Incidentally, both of those girls ended up resigning for various reasons and were never really active sisters anyway.

I think basing a decision on a sorority on something like this is pretty silly. No matter where you go in life there's always going to be someone better looking, smarter, more talented, etc. than you. Just a fact of life.

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by kddani
House composition can change a lot in a few years.

That's more likely to happen in the Northeast, than in the South. Also, I'm not sure how stable the sororities at USC are. If its anything like the South, it can take decades to change.

[starang21]

Originally posted by H0neymoon
Just to touch on this... for me, I think I actually feel better about myself when a girl pays me a compliment, rather than a guy.

A guy's appreciation on the female form is very different to that of a woman's and quite honestly I know plenty of girls who I would consider 'unatractive' who get tons of attention from... the wrong sort of.... guys!

For a woman who I consider beautiful to come up to me and pay me a compliment... that means so much more than an "Oi, you're fit, my friend wants to do you" screeched from some random guy! haha, then again, I'm not saying all guys are vulgar, but I hope you get my point! xxx

i get a lot of compliments from women and a lot of attention. it doesn't faze me, i know how i look and i'm confident in myself. it's nice to hear, but it has no bearing on how i feel about myself.

[Glitter650]

Originally posted by starang21
i don't get it. why do so many women justify themselves through how much attention they get from men? or am i just crazy?

OK... I'm not saying this is necessarily true so much anymore, but I think part of this has to do with the fact that back in the day a woman was only as good as the man she attracted... women couldn't really do anything for themselves (vote, sign a contract, own land, etc) so the man you attracted pretty much determined your life.... I think this attitude is kinda left over from that ...plus we're constantly receiving media messages that being single isn't the way to be and if you are (single) there is probably something wrong with you. Now I was only a psychology major for about a year until I changed...and I'm sure there are many other factors... but I think these definitely have an impact.

Back to the *real* question in the thread.. HOneymoon... I pretty much agree with Sugar and Spice... it really depends on the chapter, school etc... as long as you keep a healthy attitude about food and exercise you should be fine, maybe you can even be one of those people who help to "drag people up" if there is someone with a problem.

[XOMichelle]

Originally posted by starang21
i don't get it. why do so many women justify themselves through how much attention they get from men? or am i just crazy?

You are crazy, and so are we for doing it!

It doesn't happen all the time, but it makes you feel 20 time better to have someone pay attention to you and give you a compliment then for you to go totally unnoticed. Perhaps it is because sex is such an important part of a good realtionship, perhaps it is the whole media blitz thing, but it does happen! Of course, I will be the first person to say that women shouldn't do this, and I try hard not to, but who am I kidding? I feel much better about myself when I know I look good.

[cherrycola]

This is probably going to sound very offensive to the orginal poster.
You need to get a life. constantly judging people by something so arbitary as looks is only going to give you superfiscal friends. You really need to consider judging people based on things such as personality, liked interest, etc.
Now I will admit to being somewhat self consious at times, but I don't chose friends based on looks. Of course I think all my friends are beautiful, and you may not agree.
How can you expect women to ever really gain equal footing with men in the "real world" if we always hold our selfs to such unrealistic views of perfection.
sorry I just get really pissed that women constantly feel the need to judge ourselves and teach younger women these same values!!
I am done ranting.

[James]

What makes you think that would be offensive LOL?

Originally posted by cherrycola
This is probably going to sound very offensive to the orginal poster.
You need to get a life.

[KellyB369]

I think for the most part there is at least some variation between the chapters on every campus. I think that if what you're most concerned about/focused on is being the center of attention with the guys and the looks of the other girls you'd be better off to join one of the chapters who are known for being superficial. Sorority life is about so much more than looks and boys. While there are lots of mixers, frat parties, etc the most important things are (or should be) sisterhood and activities with your sisters. You can always party with boys, but you can't always find a setting where you can hang out with and bond with a huge group of girls.
I agree with whoever said that sorority life can increase problems like eating disorders, etc but that only happens when the girl has self-esteem issues already. If it does happen and you have chosen to join a chapter who genuinely cares about you, I am sure they will all be right there to support you.

[H0neymoon]

I hope I didn't give the impression that I pick my friends based on looks or judge people purely on outward appearance! I don't. I've never ever ever chosen friends based on looks and I never will.

The purpose of my original post was to voice my worry, and get some feedback...that's all.... and I actually don't recall my original post stating that I picked friends based on looks... I'm sorry if that's the way you reacted to it.

I'm a grounded girl. I might be concerned with my appearance and what others think of me, but I can't help that, it's just the way I am. I judge myself, but I don't judge others.

[H0neymoon]

I agree with you KellyB... being a part of a sorority is SO much more than being concerned about boys and looks. It was just a teeny thing niggling at me.

I guess because I've never been on a US college campus or met a girl in a sorority.. I've only seen what they show in movies... so the real picture is still very much a mystery to me and will remain so until I get to the USA this Autumn.

[AOII_LB93]

Originally posted by cherrycola
This is probably going to sound very offensive to the orginal poster.
You need to get a life. constantly judging people by something so arbitary as looks is only going to give you superfiscal friends. You really need to consider judging people based on things such as personality, liked interest, etc.
Now I will admit to being somewhat self consious at times, but I don't chose friends based on looks. Of course I think all my friends are beautiful, and you may not agree.
How can you expect women to ever really gain equal footing with men in the "real world" if we always hold our selfs to such unrealistic views of perfection.
sorry I just get really pissed that women constantly feel the need to judge ourselves and teach younger women these same values!!
I am done ranting.

Is it really necessary for you to be so hypercritical of a person who came on here to ask a legitimate question? Get a life is all you have to say? Have you never been 17 or 18 and concerned with your appearance? I deal with teen girls EVERY DAY who worry about this, and while I am a 28 year old woman, secure with who I am I remember how it felt to "not fit in" or not feel like I was pretty because of my own image issues. The only thing that I can tell these women is to start becoming secure with who they are and what they become, not to get a life. What kind of a mentor and teacher would I be if my response was like yours?

Honeymoon,
Yes, those things can be prevalent, but if you are a strong woman you can be who you are ans everything will be cool. Sororities don't "cause" bulimia, nor do they cause depression. If anything I find they are the women who will be there to help you out if a problem like that arises. Best wishes to you at USC, it's a great school and I'm sure that you will have a wonderful experience there. All of the sororities there are amazing!
Cheers!