Thug Love

[THICKNCHOCLATE]

Originally posted by Oh Drama!:
[B]PLUS HE JUST GAVE ME THAT ROCK and got on his knee and popped the question... so I'm taking my thug right to the chapel.
[B]

Congratulations!! I'm so excited for you!! Hold on to that thug girl!!!

[sphinxpoet]

Bros, Sorors and Sisterfriends,

Not all abusive men are thugs! BUT let us keep it real. A lot of people put up with a lot of Stuff for the sake of the relationship. Need an example.....let us say when going through a process that we have gone through there was always a time when it came out of our mouth saying "THese Guys have one more time before I flip on them" and guess what.....we never flipped on them! Why because he was willing to tolerate it to reach an ultamite goal. To some women the relationship is the ultamite goal. A man is an abuser he will remain an abuser. I think the real reason black women go for thugs is 2 fold: 1. They need that strong sence of security that thug provides knowing he won't be punked out by other people 2. There is a challange to say he is thugged out with everyone else except the one he is with because they have him "on lock". Guess what ladies....if he is thugged out with everyone else, curses and disrespects on the street(not saying all thugs do this) but he will do it with you most of the time.

The Sphinxpoet

[The Original Ape]

Have any of yall ever "deserved yall's ass kicked!"? Keep it real now yall!

[The Original Ape]

Bruh!

I did it again!!!

[Conskeeted19]

OA, can you say bullet! I believe in keeping hands to yoself.....unless we are playing my favorite game.!

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by Conskeeted19:
OA, can you say bullet! I believe in keeping hands to yoself.....unless we are playing my favorite game.!

SHOOT ME THAT E-MAIL, AND LEAVE THE GUN AT HOME! THEN, we can talk about your favorite game!!!

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
Have any of yall ever "deserved yall's ass kicked!"? Keep it real now yall!

N*..I mean, MAN is you on crack?

Hell FREAK naw!

I bet you have!

[The Original Ape]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
N*..I mean, MAN is you on crack?

Hell FREAK naw!

I bet you have!

[Serenity]

Originally posted by Professor:
Frat,

They don't want to tell the truth. Some of our sisters are sitting home right now talking bout "I ain't gonna put up with that shyt no more. You better do right - this time"

In the words of one of my favorite moderators: "Oh Please".



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Sigma Lambda Upsilon: Sincerity, Loyalty, Unity http://www.sigmalambdaupsilon.org

[OhSoPrettyNikki]

Believing that there is a difference btwn a thug and a violent man. I admit I want a lil thug in my man. Thug in the sense that, he is not a punk, that he can fit in easily in the ghetto (as well as outside the ghetto), wear his Tim's w/shorts in the summer, and still be abreast of the neighborhood goings on. Ya know, equipped with street knowledge. I think the term thug is used now in the same way we used homeboy back in the day.

Although I probably deserved an a$$ whupping I have never received one!!! Mainly b/c the brothas I date know "Nikki don't play dat"... i have been known to "shoot a fair one" with many a guys growing up and hold my own.... my philosophy is "If you feel froggish......LEAP!!!!"

[OhSoPrettyNikki]

Believing that there is a difference btwn a thug and a violent man. I admit I want a lil thug in my man. Thug in the sense that, he is not a punk, that he can fit in easily in the ghetto (as well as outside the ghetto), wear his Tim's w/shorts in the summer, and still be abreast of the neighborhood goings on. Ya know, equipped with street knowledge. I think the term thug is used now in the same way we used homeboy back in the day.

Although I probably deserved an a$$ whupping I have never received one!!! Mainly b/c the brothas I date know "Nikki don't play dat"... i have been known to "shoot a fair one" with many a guys growing up and hold my own.... my philosophy is "If you feel froggish......LEAP!!!!"

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"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

When da EAST is in da house....Oh my GOD!!!! DANGER!

[Little32]

I was just thinking about this the other day. I don't want my man to be a thug at all. Most of the guys that I meet around my hood are thuggish in some way, shape, or form. (I am wondering where all the "nerds" are. Where are the guys that like to read, are reasonably well-informed, and don't spend half of their days standing outside of some store.)
But I digress. You don't have to be a thug to have a backbone. You don't have to be a thug to handle your business. Women do these things everyday and manage to be ladies; men can hold it down and still behave as gentlemen. Besides, a man who can get what he wants without raising his voice, or his fist, is much more sexy.

[Tanzanite]

I myself have never been with an abusive man. Being the only girl in the house with 5 older boys helped me a lot. Back to the question , I do like a tough guy and as MC Lyte once said "ruffneck" but that don't say nothing bout putting those hands on me. Although my man does not have to have these qualities either.
Since we are talking about violence a bit I hope i can tie this in.

Hope this doesn't get too long:

For some reason it seems as though my best friend seems to always choose that man who wants to put his hands on her. Can you say "DRAMA"? At first this guy wasn't like this but he moved to Conn from AL and she went to visit him one month in the summer. I called her to see how she was doing she was kind of quiet so I started asking her questions just for the heck of it ...What's wrong? (nothing) He heatin on you (no gul) really wasn't expectin answer " He hit you? (YES).
All of a sudden she had to get off the phone. He came in the room. I was at home pissed. All the way in Bama and couldn't do jack. Mind you they staying with his momma (who was at work) but told my friend not to call the police because they were real strict in CONN about domestic violence and her son would go to jail for a long time ( I'm like SO). When she finally came home, he and his mother also came for a visit. I was at her house late one night and she was about to take me home...he wants to ride with her. When we get in front of my door this mutha&^#(@# gonna say some stuff to me talking bout stay out of his business or somethin to that effect cause I don't know him.....never wait until you get to my territory to talk %$^& . We went at it and I went in the house it's about 12:00am and got the bruhs and the cuz's, needless to say we whooped his but frim A to Z.
Her now baby daddy was like the high school bully ...burn up folks cars, jump on folks, whateva he felt big and bad enough to do. I am glad that she finally left both of those folks alone.

Yes another story: (I am just trying to give you some examples since you wanted to hear)
Another friend we went to high school and go to college together. Our freshman year in college she was going with this boy from back home (who went to college with us two). I always thought he was the perfect man until I found out he was beatin on her. One day we were about o go home for the wknd. Some of us were wondering where she was b/c it was pass time to go. This girl call me from POPEYES Chicken talking bout she had to jump out the car on the highway cause he was hittin her and then tried to run her over in the parking lot. They eventually broke up but it turned into a tragedy when her high school sweetheart came to visit one day. This boy followed them to a hotel got a room down the hall from them. When he sees her w/o the other guy in the hallway, he snatches her up pulling her into his room, stuffs a towel in her mouth and proceeds to rape her. She calls me from the ER the next morning. He got kicked out of school after that. She is now doing better.

Sorry for the long post
If he tells you he loves you and beats you. In the words of my girl Tina Turner "What's Love Got to Do With It"

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29 Jewels of N.V. # 1
Delta Delta Chapter

[lastpoetnsite]

much respect...

the reality is that this goes both ways. men always like to ask the question..."why do women like thugs?" and women can counter with..."why do men like chickenheads?"

the answers come out:
a woman likes a thug because:
-he can take care of/protect her
-he's real
-he's good in bed
-he has backbone
-he's "all man" *this one is debatable*
etc.

a man likes a chickenhead because:
-he can take care of/protect her
-she's real
-she's good in bed
-she has a way of massaging his ego
-she's "all woman" and doesn't want to step onto a "mans territory"
etc.

both are symbols of what i believe men and women lack in this society. many women eternally looking for the daddy figure go in search of someone to take care of them. and protect them. and no sistas i'm not talking financially but i'm talking about when you are standing in line at the movie theater and the brotha has his arm around your waist...you feel more protected when he looks like the rock than when he looks like martin.
consquently many men are looking for their moms. that is not calling your moms a chickenhead...but while moms was strong she was also the one who spoiled the ish outta you. so you want a woman who can spend as much time with you as you want her too...will show up to the door when you get home from work in a teddy and still have dinner on the table. that kinda ish.

the realities/dynamics of abusive relationships are larger than just..."yo, i told her to leave that ni**a alone but she didn't listen...and got her ass beat fo it!" most women do not deserve or want their asses beat but there is an emotional/psychological/sociological/sexual aspect to abuse that literally makes the person feel trapped. some can escape quickly others can not.

instead of blaming the "victim" of abuse...lets try figuring out a way to stop it so that the woman does not enter it again.

btw...abuse happens in all relationships. str8 and gay. men can be abused just as quickly as women. but nobody...deserves to get hit/mentally abused/sexually abused etc. if its that bad...and you don't think you can control yourself from striking out then you need to leave.

enough of my ranting.

peace

*sorry so long*

[tammy-]

I am totally against dating "thugs". I would have more respect for a man who was able to walk away from a fight than one who stood and fought for what ever silly reasons people have to use their fist theses days. It takes more will and strength to walk away than to stand and fight in my opinion... (anyway violence does not solve anything- it sometimes causes more problems). I don't want a so called punk but I would rather date a "punk" than a thug. I like a man with pure class(who may even see himself as too good to get his hands dirty by fighting and possibly ending up in jail)

I was given a word of advice by a friend years ago- Do not date a man (or woman) who IF you were to have children by them and your child turned out to be JUST LIKE that person- you would not have a problem with it.

Sometimes they do!

Something to think about