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Welcome to our newest member, atylertopz3855 |
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02-10-2004, 09:03 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Homeownerville USA!!!
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Quote:
Originally posted by SummerChild
Ladies,
I would just to say that for each one of these men there are many many black men out there who are straight and, I believe, have it together. Just imagine if we had even a sample of straight black men in any given city place a personal ad. The ads would far outnumber what we see here.
All is not lost.
SC
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Soror, how old are you? LOL
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ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA SORORITY, INCORPORATED Just Fine since 1908. NO EXPLANATIONS NECESSARY!
Move Away from the Keyboard, Sometimes It's Better to Observe!
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02-10-2004, 11:31 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: New Jersey
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AKA2D91
That's what I was thinking!
I remember being so young and optimistic!
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Living My Life Like it's Golden
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02-10-2004, 01:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by AKA2D '91
Soror, how old are you? LOL
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Hey soror, I'm 29. I'll be 30 in July. 
Am I being too young and optimistic? LOL
SC
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02-10-2004, 02:02 PM
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Location: in my head
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what a nice perspective!!
Quote:
Originally posted by SummerChild
Ladies,
I would just to say that for each one of these men there are many many black men out there who are straight and, I believe, have it together. Just imagine if we had even a sample of straight black men in any given city place a personal ad. The ads would far outnumber what we see here.
All is not lost.
SC
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i am over 30 and i still believe this sentiment. i am blessed to have a great husband and i know deep in my heart that each one of you who are single will find that special someone. its about waiting patiently and continue to work to be the person God wants you to be.
Always the youthful optimist  .
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"SI, SE PUEDE!"
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02-10-2004, 02:21 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2003
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Re: what a nice perspective!!
Quote:
Originally posted by darling1
i am over 30 and i still believe this sentiment. i am blessed to have a great husband and i know deep in my heart that each one of you who are single will find that special someone. its about waiting patiently and continue to work to be the person God wants you to be.
Always the youthful optimist .
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Thanks for the compliment Darling!
I try .... 
SC
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02-11-2004, 01:45 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Tampa
Posts: 9
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Quote:
Originally posted by 20PearlGirl
AKA2D91
That's what I was thinking!
I remember being so young and optimistic!
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You know, I'm always told that I'm a pessimist. But this is why and I'm young (28). There are just too many obstacles against us. I know all is not lost but I know my hopes and dreams are long gone. I think I'm more of a realist.
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02-11-2004, 02:46 PM
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Location: South of the Mason-Dixon Line
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Quote:
Originally posted by pearlfectpoet
I know all is not lost but I know my hopes and dreams are long gone.
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Soror, how are your "hopes and dreams . . . long gone?" Didn't you just become a member of the most illustrious sisterhood on the planet? Girl, stop trippin.  Things can only get better.
SC
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02-11-2004, 02:50 PM
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Location: the mothering hut
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Quote:
Originally posted by NOWorNEVER
Waaaaaaaaaaaiit a minute....dude from NC said he's looking for someone to be his "boy" in the streets but his "man" in the sheets. WOW. This really makes me wonder how many of our black men are out there frontin'...chillin' with men we think are their "homeboys" and behind closed doors, they are sexin. This is crazy and it really makes me sad. I just can't get over how fine AND masculine they are. *smh*
Ladies, picture yourself in this scenario: You start dating someone who turns out to be your soulmate. Y'all are feelin' each other and this is the man of your dreams. He's everything you've ever wanted in a companion and mate. You can see yourselves spending the rest of your lives together. Intellectually, spiritually, mentally, sexually, etc. you are on the same level. Before you know it, two years has passed and you begin making plans for the future. Then one day, he sits you down and says, "Look baby, before we can take this thing to the next level, I need to tell you something about my past. Please know that I love you and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you but before we got together, I used to have sex with both men and women."
How do you react??? You've just spent two of the best years of your life with this man you thought you knew?? Is it possible to move on and forget his past?
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I have to ask, is this a fairly regular occurrence in the AfAm community? It's been discussed in this thread and in the "what if he's celibate?" thread. I guess I hear about men (of all races) who are married with a family and then come out, but it just didn't seem to be something that occurred all that often. Is it a cultural thing?
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it." - Voltaire
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02-11-2004, 03:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lil' Hannah
I have to ask, is this a fairly regular occurrence in the AfAm community? It's been discussed in this thread and in the "what if he's celibate?" thread. I guess I hear about men (of all races) who are married with a family and then come out, but it just didn't seem to be something that occurred all that often. Is it a cultural thing?
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LilHannah,
Is what a cultural thing?
SC
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02-11-2004, 03:15 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the mothering hut
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Sorry for not being clear.
Men who are gay pretending to be straight. It seems to be a concern on here, and rightfully so, but it doesn't seem to be an issue in the white dating community. But then again I haven't been dating all that long, so it may very well be. I just know that when I am out with a guy the thought "Is he gay and trying to pass as straight?" never crosses my mind. I'm just trying to understand if this is more prevalent in the AfAm community.
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"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it." - Voltaire
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02-11-2004, 03:28 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Tampa
Posts: 9
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Quote:
Originally posted by SummerChild
Soror, how are your "hopes and dreams . . . long gone?" Didn't you just become a member of the most illustrious sisterhood on the planet? Girl, stop trippin. Things can only get better.
SC
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Soror,
I meant long gone as far as men but You are right!!!!!! Things are only gonna get better!!!!
I love my sorors!!!!!!!!!!!
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02-11-2004, 05:49 PM
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Join Date: May 2000
Location: a place i'd never even heard of...
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i have seen many white men who married and later came out and divorced. it is an issue for Black and white women. i'msure for all women but i haven't heard of any other women of color coming forward w/their story. people in general (women, too, aren't honest up front) aren't being honest w/themselves and their partners. homosexuality isn't the issue, the dishonesty is.
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help! i'm in small town Maryland
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02-11-2004, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by WenD08
i have seen many white men who married and later came out and divorced. it is an issue for Black and white women. i'msure for all women but i haven't heard of any other women of color coming forward w/their story. people in general (women, too, aren't honest up front) aren't being honest w/themselves and their partners. homosexuality isn't the issue, the dishonesty is.
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Thanks for your reply. I wasn't trying to turn it into anything ugly, I just hadn't really heard of this as a concern other than on the GC boards and I was looking for further understanding. Maybe it's I'm not familiar with the problem because I'm still young and my friends aren't really in serious relationships/married/looking to get married yet.
__________________
"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it." - Voltaire
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02-11-2004, 06:16 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Here in the Windy City trying to look cute with my hair blown all over my head.
Posts: 476
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HMMMMMMMM....
THEY HAVE A ROUGH NECK PRISON TRADE!!! You can become a penpal with an inmate.
(From the website)
We have hundreds men looking for friendship, penpals, or more!
Many inmates never get mail. A penpal may be the only relationship they have outside prison, and your letters give them something to look forward to. These inmates have published their photograph and information about themselves, and have invited YOU into their lives. Studies prove that recidivism is lower when inmates have people on the outside taking an interest in them. When you write a prisoner it is an act of faith - faith that you can reach out and make a positive difference in another person's life
Sometimes I think I have seen it ALL...but dang.
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02-11-2004, 06:37 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 571
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Is it cultural?
Here's a thought. In a previous discussion of homosexuality and downlow brothers, it was stated that the Black community was much less accepting of homosexuality than white communities. Someone said that this was a reason behind some of the dishonesty and secrecy. So maybe it is more prevalent in Black communities b/c men don't feel comfortable being "out" and gay. Maybe in white communities gay men are just gay men, so they don't have to hide that behind a straight lifestyle. Also, do you think that the # of black men who visit prison has anything to do with it? I can't imagine that you'd ever be right if you "crossed that line".
Marie
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