Dirty Old Men

[_Opi_]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
There are "dirty young men" too.

So true!!

[AGDee]

I have a very close friend who is in his 40's now, divorced twice but no kids. His most recent relationship was with a 28 year old and he sought her out specifically because "No kids, no baggage, but still young enough to want children", because he very much wants kids of his own but knows women his age are either 1) done having kids, 2) choose not to have them or 3) are getting old enough that it becomes high risk for them to have them.

His logic doesn't make him a dirty old man. He's a great catch! (If he didn't live 800 miles away and if I didn't have kids, I'd marry him in a heart beat!).

Dee

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by valkyrie
I have to disagree. Just because you think that a 40 year old man should be "settled" (whatever that means) doesn't mean that he has to adjust his lifestyle to meet with your approval. I think that a 40 year old man should hit on whomever he darn well pleases, as long as he stops if it becomes clear that his interest is not returned. And anyway, 40 is not nearly old.

Why do you care, anyway?

Because I think what he's doing is creepy and wrong.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I don't see anything creepy or wrong with a 40 year old asking out a 25 year old. I agree with valkyrie that 40 isn't old.

My definition of a dirty old man is a guy who hits on jailbait, aka girls under 18.

[ZTAngel]

My definition of a dirty old man is any man within 5 years of my father who hits on girls my age. I had a guy that was about a year older than my dad who kept trying to get me to accept a drink he bought for me. Ew.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
My definition of a dirty old man is any man within 5 years of my father who hits on girls my age. I had a guy that was about a year older than my dad who kept trying to get me to accept a drink he bought for me. Ew.

I never turn down a free drink.

[ZTAngel]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
I never turn down a free drink.

I knew that it meant I'd have to have a conversation with him and be all nice to him for at least 10 minutes. The thought disgusted me way too much. Plus, the drink wasn't even that good. Cheap vodka and sprite. No thanks.

[CC1GC]

If the attraction isn't mutual and this guy is constantly getting rejected he should consider something else...it's not the same as when i go out to the bars and 19 yr olds are all me.

[MeLikey]

The owner of the bar I used to go to like every other night at school is probably in his 40s... we usually have a little conversation at the bar, and one night he asked me out to dinner, I just laughed it off and changed the subject... in the same conversation like 10 minutes before he was like yeah I used to date a DG in my same chapter back when he was in school. It didn't weird me out, but what did was the fact that at the end of the night when we're all moving toward the door trying to see what we were going to do next he kept gravitating toward me, and then was like so who's going to be the lucky guy tonight? I hung out with my Phi Delt that night, not him.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Yeah, but really, should a 40 year old man be hitting on a 25 year old woman? I know that I could have been very wrong, and the woman in question could be a young looking 30-something, but really, the 40 year old guy is always seen at events that are for those who are slightly younger. At 40, he should be settled (I have heard that he's never married). But then again, I'm not his mom, so I shouldn't be complaining!

Just out of curiousity, how old are you? And why would his mom even complain? I have to agree w/ valkyrie, why do you care...if the girl doesn't look uncomfortable or like she's fighting him off, you really need to mind your own business.

I have many many male friends that are 40 and not married. That doesn't mean they're abnormal, or dirty old men, or irresponsible. They just have more brains than to listen to close minded people who say "by this age you should do this...by this age you should do that." There are a lot of people who got married and had kids because they were told they "should" and the children suffered.

Now if you're talking about any sort of unwanted attention, that's creepy, whether the age difference is 2 years or 20 years. That's what smiley21 was talking about. That story would be just as creepy if both participants were the same age.

When I was 22 I dated my 35 year old boss (yeah, yeah, I know). However, to look at him and the way he acted, you would have NEVER guessed he was past 25.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by 33girl
Just out of curiousity, how old are you? And why would his mom even complain? I have to agree w/ valkyrie, why do you care...if the girl doesn't look uncomfortable or like she's fighting him off, you really need to mind your own business.

I have many many male friends that are 40 and not married. That doesn't mean they're abnormal, or dirty old men, or irresponsible. They just have more brains than to listen to close minded people who say "by this age you should do this...by this age you should do that." There are a lot of people who got married and had kids because they were told they "should" and the children suffered.

Now if you're talking about any sort of unwanted attention, that's creepy, whether the age difference is 2 years or 20 years. That's what smiley21 was talking about. That story would be just as creepy if both participants were the same age.

When I was 22 I dated my 35 year old boss (yeah, yeah, I know). However, to look at him and the way he acted, you would have NEVER guessed he was past 25.

I'm 24, and I know from guy friends, who are in their mid 30s, that their moms are beginning to wonder why they aren't married.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Taualumna
I'm 24, and I know from guy friends, who are in their mid 30s, that their moms are beginning to wonder why they aren't married.

But when did their mum's get married? Probably when they were in there 20's.
Today, it's normal for people to get married when there much older. I have male friend who are in their 30's and have no desire to marry just yet. I don't think it's abnormal at all. Yes their mother's may want them to marry. But they are not ready.

I have to say it's only creepy if the attention is unwanted and the guy persists.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
There are "dirty young men" too.

Why am I not surprised you were thinking this. Did somebody in particular pop up in your mind?

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
But when did their mum's get married? Probably when they were in there 20's.
Today, it's normal for people to get married when there much older. I have male friend who are in their 30's and have no desire to marry just yet. I don't think it's abnormal at all. Yes their mother's may want them to marry. But they are not ready.

I have to say it's only creepy if the attention is unwanted and the guy persists.

I guess they don't want kids either. Let's say this guy marries at 45. He and his wife have kids a couple of years later, when he's 47. At 47, it's quite possible for a guy to begin to have health problems. The little boy/girl that they have may not necessarily have the same experiences growing up as the kid with a 30-something dad. He'll be 65 years old when the kid graduates high school and 69 when the kid receives his/her bachelors. He may not even live to see his kid marry. I just don't think it's all that good to marry too late.

[James]

Or they are henious lol . . lets face it a lot just has to do wih atractiveness.

If Richard Gere or an adam sandler hit on a 20 year old she might be more receptive. Hell if Jack Nicholson hit on a twentysomething she might marry him lol.

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
But when did their mum's get married? Probably when they were in there 20's.
Today, it's normal for people to get married when there much older. I have male friend who are in their 30's and have no desire to marry just yet. I don't think it's abnormal at all. Yes their mother's may want them to marry. But they are not ready.

I have to say it's only creepy if the attention is unwanted and the guy persists.