wedding costs? :(

[Sistermadly]

We spent approximately $6,100

Here's how we saved money:
[list=1][*]Got married in the off season (winter, but not during the holidays)[*]Had a very small guest list (less than 50 people)[*]Got married on an unusual day of the week (Friday night)[*]Had the wedding and reception in the same place (a private club)[*]Spent most of the money on food and booze (open bar) to thank the guests for coming[*]Bought my dress from an Internet wholesaler and saved $300[*]Bought my shoes at Payless - I never wear white shoes anyway, so why would I pay $200+ for something I'm only going to wear once?[*]Bought my tiara and veil on eBay[*]Had a friend serve as wedding coordinator[*]Used talented friends for DJs, decorations, etc - those were their gifts to me[*]Had a small wedding party (just a best man and maid of honour)[*]Home made wedding favours and cake topper
[/list=1]

The greatest expenses of our wedding was the food/booze venue rental ($3800) the cake ($160), and the flowers (bride's bouquet, maid of honor's bouquet, bouquets for the moms, boutionniers for the men - about $250). Everything else was done on the cheap. Choose a beautiful location, and decorations will take care of themselves. We had a full moon overlooking a city skyline from 30 stories up - you can't beat that for decorations! I think I spent about $60 on some candles (for the guests to hold during the cermony) and some white lights and tulle - and that's all I used.

For the reception, we had everyone go into the bar (free drinks!) while they set up, and we used glass bowls (we rented them from the venue) filled with floating candles and tossed some freeze-dried white rose petals all over the tables. We took everyone's white taper candle, put them in candelabras, and placed them on the tables. We used the club's white linens, and it was so elegant. I think I spent about $20-30 on the rose petals for a HUGE bag.

Congratulations, and good luck!

[Jadey28]

Everyone has such great advice! I am definately coming back to this thread when my time comes

Congrats KappaTarzan!

[AGDee]

Originally posted by PM_Mama00
Woooooow..... we come from 2 totally different cultures.

I think alot of stuff that people are suggesting are really good and creative, but it might be easier to ask someone who lives in the same region. What someone, in say California, and someone in Michigan does/costs/whatever, it's prolly gona be really different.

I agree. I'm from Michigan too and have had TWO weddings. The first, in 1989, cost $20,000 (350 guests.. big Italian family) and was very formal. My second wedding was the first for my husband and he wanted a wedding with all his friends there. I only had my immediate family and aunts and uncles (no cousins!) as well as a few co-workers and friends. It was only 120 people and he had a good friend who catered it. It was at a small hall and very scaled down from the first. That was 1993 and it only cost $5000. His buddy gave us a very good deal on the catering though.

In retrospect (since I'm divorced twice too), the money could have been better spent on other things than the wedding. If someone ever convinced me to get married again, it would be a small service (me, him, two witnesses) in some exotic place like Hawaii or Vegas.

I must say, my sister-daughter (AGD's version of little sister) is a gem. She was my maid of honor twice. There aren't too many women in this world who would buy a bridesmaid's dress for you TWICE. Gotta love her!

Dee

[bethany1982]

My cousin was married last Summer in San Diego. I know my Aunt and Uncle spent over $20,000. I have no idea what the actual cost breakdowns may be except for the dress. Her dress was $2,500. I also don't know how much if anything her husband and his family may have spent. To me, $20,000 is a bit out of line, but it was a beautiful day.

[mu_agd]

KappaTarzan, I'm not sure if you've looked at dresses yet, but if you haven't, I'd suggest you check out VOWS in Newton Centre. It's one of those sample stores. my sister got a beautiful dress there at a great price.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

My cousin has a perfect country club wedding for $40,000 in 1990. In 1991, she filed for divorce. The price of the wedding has nothing to do with the quality of the relationship.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally posted by KappaTarzan
well, i am formally announcing it, I suppose...

I'm engaged!!!!!

starting to plan the wedding, i have created this intricate budget for all of our expenses (according to estimates at www.weddingplanner.com). I have included EVERY possible detail, and i'm trying to make sure everything is going to go perfectly as planned..

**for all you married folk, how much did your wedding actualyl cost?? was it a big or small wedding (how many guests)? traditional/modern/your own style? DJ or Band? dinner served??****

overall, i am just so lost in this whole wedding cost thing... help!! !

Sent you a PM

[SoCalGirl]

Originally posted by bethany1982
My cousin was married last Summer in San Diego. I know my Aunt and Uncle spent over $20,000. I have no idea what the actual cost breakdowns may be except for the dress. Her dress was $2,500. I also don't know how much if anything her husband and his family may have spent. To me, $20,000 is a bit out of line, but it was a beautiful day.

I know so many people getting married these days and $20,000+ seems to be the standard, no matter how many guests there are. My parents recently attended my cousin's wedding in Wisconsin and they think it must have been $20k+ but there were about 300 guests.

My dad used to tell me that when I get married he'll give my finace $5k to get eloped. After my cousin's wedding he's thinking $10-15K. I don't want a big wedding though.

[pinkyphimu]

congrats to you kappatarzan!!! best of luck!

[KappaTarzan]

thank you again, everyone, for all the sweet congrats..

i'm planning on spending a bit of money on the wedding, definitely not cutting all costs, i want to try to keep it around $12,000... i want it formal, and of average size (125-150 people)...

THANK YOU for the hint about the bridal shop, mu_agd!!!

and a HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to NinjaPoodle... tons of appreciation. thanks again...

<3 you all!

[mu_agd]

clean out your pm box please!

[AlphaSigOU]

More reason to NOT get married... if I do succumb to the temptation of married life, I'm hauling ass to Vegas to get hitched!

[AGDee]

That's not a bad attitude, AlphaSigOU. If I wasn't so caught up in planning the dream wedding the first time around, I don't think I'd have married the abusive jerk! In fact, I was in my apartment, crying, 3 days before the wedding because I did NOT want to spend the rest of my life with this guy but how do you stop a $20,000 wedding machine at that point???

I did have my dream wedding.. the marriage was awful though!

Dee

[Munchkin03]

Congratulations!

AlphaSig, the idea of Vegas (or another destination wedding) doesn't seem so bad to me. I know that we can't get around not spending a lot for a wedding...once I asked my mother the number of people we would have to invite, and she said around 350-400 (we have a HUGE family, and the boy's family isn't much smaller). We could save ourselves a lot of money and stress just by inviting parents, siblings, and a close friend or two somewhere nice.

[aephi alum]

Congratulations!!

Hmm... we spent around $20K including the honeymoon. We had 85 guests.

We had a Sunday morning wedding with a lunchtime reception. This is very common for Jewish couples, because you can't get married on the Sabbath. Wouldn't work too well for Christians though

We splurged on the location (just outside Boston), the meal (chicken breast and filet mignon; pasta option for the veggies; "upgraded" hors d'oeuvres), and the band. Our package from the catering hall included a 1-hour open bar (after that we only served beer and wine), and the cake.

We got the flowers and photography relatively inexpensively (they did good work too), and a relative (who isn't very well off financially) did the videography as his wedding gift (ceremony only - we didn't want anyone shoving a video camera in our guests' face at the reception ).

Wedding dress from David's Bridal. I made my own veil, more because I wanted to and because I didn't like anything I saw being sold. Shoes from Payless - no one was gonna see 'em anyway.

The important thing, of course, is that at the end of the day I was married to a wonderful man.

Good luck with all the wedding planning!