6/23/03 Dear Abby - Page 2

sugar and spice · #1 06-23-2003, 02:16 PM

I'm casting another vote for "I wouldn't go to that wedding, even if it was my sister's." I can't believe how tacky some people are.

I hope nobody goes to the wedding and the couple has to cover all expenses out of their own pocket even though there's nobody there to eat their wedding cake.

CrimsonTide4 · #2 06-23-2003, 02:23 PM

What is really tripped out is that in cases such as this, the wedding usually lasts LONGER than the marriage.

CatStarESP4 · #3 06-23-2003, 02:33 PM

I can't believe that the family received what they thought was a wedding invitation, but a SOLICITATION FOR MONEY! I agree that a contribution to pay for a wedding should be voluntary, but not with a money order from the post office. This is tacky, offensive and downright uncouth. I think the family should not only send their regrets of not attending, but also refuse to pay the couple. I wouldn't do this to my least favorite cousin and that is the statement of the moment.

GMUBunny · #4 06-23-2003, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice

I'm casting another vote for "I wouldn't go to that wedding, even if it was my sister's."

My sister's getting married in September and we don't have the money to pay for it all. So, guess what my parents decided to do.... they're taking it out of my tuition savings. So, all you people who are saying "don't do it if you can't afford it"- I'll give you my home phone number in Va Beach and you can call my mom and tell her that, cuz she sure isn't listening to me!!! I'm surprised they haven't started asking guests to pay. My mom outright asked 'well off' members of our family to pay for my education....

LeslieAGD · #5 06-23-2003, 03:02 PM

Winner of the "Tacky As Hell Award."

is right!

LeslieAGD · #6 06-23-2003, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GMUBunny
My sister's getting married in September and we don't have the money to pay for it all. So, guess what my parents decided to do.... they're taking it out of my tuition savings.

I am so sorry to hear that...Personally, I think it's ridiculous that you should be shafted like that.
What's more important...your education or your sister getting an expensive wedding day?

Jill1228 · #7 06-23-2003, 03:09 PM

Sisters, if you think THAT is bad, then I have a site you MUST visit!

www.etiquettehell.com

There are some folx that make this bride look like a sweetie

Peaches-n-Cream · #8 06-23-2003, 03:42 PM

In my wedding fantasy, I get married at St. Patrick's Cathedral with a reception at the Plaza, Waldorf, or Tavern on the Green. If I couldn't afford that, I would plan a more financially reasonable wedding. The couple could have a nice wedding for a fraction of the price. It won't be a spectacular event, but it can be a lovely wedding.

GMUBunny · #9 06-23-2003, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LeslieAGD
I am so sorry to hear that...Personally, I think it's ridiculous that you should be shafted like that.
What's more important...your education or your sister getting an expensive wedding day?

The thing is, we all know that the marriage isn't going to last. Argh... I'm so pissed. Anyone have any chocolate???

Jill1228 · #10 06-23-2003, 03:47 PM

That is f*cked up! Ya know that weddings, funerals and family reunions bring out the FOOL in folks!

We paid for our own wedding. We had a nice elegant wedding...in Las Vegas

Quote:

Originally posted by GMUBunny
My sister's getting married in September and we don't have the money to pay for it all. So, guess what my parents decided to do.... they're taking it out of my tuition savings. So, all you people who are saying "don't do it if you can't afford it"- I'll give you my home phone number in Va Beach and you can call my mom and tell her that, cuz she sure isn't listening to me!!! I'm surprised they haven't started asking guests to pay. My mom outright asked 'well off' members of our family to pay for my education....

FeeFee · #11 06-23-2003, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GMUBunny
My sister's getting married in September and we don't have the money to pay for it all. So, guess what my parents decided to do.... they're taking it out of my tuition savings. So, all you people who are saying "don't do it if you can't afford it"- I'll give you my home phone number in Va Beach and you can call my mom and tell her that, cuz she sure isn't listening to me!!! I'm surprised they haven't started asking guests to pay. My mom outright asked 'well off' members of our family to pay for my education....

Awwwwww heeeelllllllll naw!!!! If your sister takes the money, then shame on her too!!! Your tuition should not be the obligation for your 'well off' family members.

This is one of the reasons why there is so much resentment among family members.

I feel bad for you right now. I suggest looking for other ways to pay for your tuition and let them be on their merry way!!!

If you want, we'll sign a petition letter and send it to your mom.

AXO Alum · #12 06-23-2003, 04:47 PM

This makes me CRINGE!! As a wedding coordinator, I have to put up with a LOT of isht from people (mostly bride's mothers!!) about what they do and do not do. I never try to "run" the wedding plans, but I do offer advice and input where needed (and obviously in this case there is no wedding coord. because I can't think of anyone in their right mind who would stand by and let that happen!)

And I am sure that I will get some flames from this, but I will go ahead and say for all you brides-to-be, DO NOT have a cash bar at your wedding (especially if you are in the South - I don't care if you are a Yankee-transplant, your location does matter

)! Tacky doesn't begin to describe it! Have beer and wine, and if you can't afford that then WOW don't have alcohol -- anyone who shows up and is disappointed that he/she can't drink/get drunk isn't there for the right reason. Cash bars are just a total nightmare!!

And one last thing -- IF YOU WANT TO SAY YOU ARE REGISTERED, ASK THE PERSON(S) HOSTING YOUR SHOWER TO PUT IT IN THOSE INVITES -- THEY DO NOT BELONG IN YOUR WEDDING INVITATION!!! And for the love of Pete -- DO NOT put the cards in there for all the places you are registered at....so tacky that AXO Alum is having to catch her breath for a minute!! I actually received an invite once with 5 cards - 3 were for stores, one was for their TRAVEL AGENT, and one was for their MORTGAGE BROKER!!! AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

Weddings can be simple, elegant, fancy, stylish, etc. and still be on a budget and carried off perfectly. You are inviting these people to be there with you because they are special to you and/or your family -- not because you want them to bring you a gift. A gift is THEIR choice, and while it is traditional, it is not acceptable to solicit gifts!!

Jill1228 · #13 06-23-2003, 05:12 PM

Thank you! I hate that! When I see a "we are registered here" in the invites, I would be tempted to buy something NOT on the registry out of spite. (yes I have done that before...I usually get a nice pic frame...ya can never go wrong with those)

Tacky!

I mean hell all you gotta do is tell the most busy body member of your family where you are registered....I guarantee that the word will be out in less than 24 hours

has anyone checked out www.etiquettehell.com ?

Quote:

Originally posted by AXO Alum
And one last thing -- IF YOU WANT TO SAY YOU ARE REGISTERED,ASK THE PERSON(S) HOSTING YOUR SHOWER TO PUT IT IN THOSE INVITES -- THEY DO NOT BELONG IN YOUR WEDDING INVITATION!!! And for the love of Pete -- DO NOT put the cards in there for all the places you are registered at....so tacky that AXO Alum is having to catch her breath for a minute!! I actually received an invite once with 5 cards - 3 were for stores, one was for their TRAVEL AGENT, and one was for their MORTGAGE BROKER!!! AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

GMUBunny · #14 06-23-2003, 05:32 PM

My mom xeroxed the registry lists and mailed them to some family members. I thought that was pretty tacky, but that's just me. No one in my family can afford a $300 sautee pan or that stupid 'smart vacuum' anyway.... sheesh.

SSS1365 · #15 06-23-2003, 05:50 PM

WARNING: Hi-jack coming....

I agree that having a cash bar only is kinda tacky (and every wedding I've been to so far has been cash bar only), so I don't want to do it this way for mine. BUT I don't like the idea of people getting plastered at my reception and possibly ruining my day just because it's free for them. So my mom and I came up with a compromise (after all, she and my dad are insisting on paying for a lot of the wedding as I'm their only daughter). We're thinking of having a 2-drink limit (and yes liquor is included) for each guest, after which they pay for their own if they want more. We'd have to use tickets to do it this way though. I figure most people will wind up with more than 2 tickets anyway, since our estimate is based on EVERY guest drinking, and not all will (especially those under-age

). I hope that doesn't sound too tacky, but like I said... it's not about affording it, it's about keeping things relatively calm.

END Hi-jack