Losing my membership - Page 2

Peaches-n-Cream · #16 05-19-2003, 05:44 PM

I think that I missed the part where you wrote that both you and your husband have high paying jobs until I read JAM's post. My suggestion is still the same. Get your own bank account and be in charge of your own money and bills. I wish you the best.

aephi alum · #17 05-19-2003, 07:28 PM

I second what everyone else has said.

Work out a payment plan for your sorority fees. You are an involved alum, which is the exception rather than the rule, and so they should be willing to come to an arrangement.

Go through the books with your husband. If I were you, I wouldn't let him handle the books alone any longer. This serves two purposes - it lets you see, and control, where the money is going, and it lets you take over your family's finances if something happens to him.

Take care.

Tom Earp · #18 05-19-2003, 11:20 PM

I think everyone missed the point of your post!

Why are you as an Alum. owing your Soroity $500.00? Alum. Dues? Not!!

I dont know of any Greek Org. that requires you to pay dues!

I did not see you respond to this thread, and I for one think it is BS Post!

You had the opportunity to get a lot of free advice from very good and honest people!!

I for one want to tell you to screw off if this is BS and I think it is!

I wish it was on one of my Threads and I would delete it ASAP!

Lost · #19 05-19-2003, 11:21 PM

Thank you all for the kind words, advice and support. I am truly overwhelmed and grateful.

I, too, was surprised at the harshness of the letter I received but upon further investigation, I found that another check that I had sent in recently was also insufficient. Our nationals are very slow to process things so I had not been notified yet. I'm drafting a letter to my HQ asking for an extension for repayment and am hopeful that it will be accepted.

My husband and I have talked and our financial situation is worse than I knew or had begun to suspect. For our personalities and circumstances, we had divided responsibilities within the household with some duties shared, of course. Since he made quadruple what I did, he handled our finances and I was happy to let him while I very slowly climbed my way up the corporate ladder. When things finally took off for me, we did some travelling, bought some luxury items and overextended ourselves in the process. I've had some medical issues lately and his income has gone down recently due to the soft economy. It finally caught up with us. He said he tried to get a handle on things but it spiralled downward and pride kept him from letting me know how bad it had gotten.

We're going to cash out one of our 401k's to catch up (we will still have two others) and are also going to a financial counselor to learn how to work together to manage OUR money. Fortunately, it isn't as bad as it could be but this was a real wake-up call for both of us.

For almost 15 years as an alumna, I've worked for my org freely and gladly in any capacity that was asked. I've been able to do things within my group and reach personal goals that may not have been open to me anywhere else. I had hoped to go on to a higher level but that may no longer be possible even if/when this situation is resolved. I'm still so mortified by the whole thing that I've seriously considered resigning my membership. I get nauseous just thinking about facing the national officers that know about this. Many of them are in my alumnae group or in the same state so it is hard to avoid them.

I have only heard from the one person in our main office via letter but it was supposedly copied to several others including the regional VP and the national president. If they can't see past an unfortunate set of circumstances, then it will be their loss. I'm going to do my best to pay my debts, make my apologies and hold my head high.

Thank you again.

Lost · #20 05-19-2003, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tom Earp
I think everyone missed the point of your post!

Why are you as an Alum. owing your Soroity $500.00? Alum. Dues? Not!!

I dont know of any Greek Org. that requires you to pay dues!

I did not see you respond to this thread, and I for one think it is BS Post!

You had the opportunity to get a lot of free advice from very good and honest people!!

I for one want to tell you to screw off if this is BS and I think it is!

I wish it was on one of my Threads and I would delete it ASAP!

It was not my alum dues. Those are only $30-$40 per year. This was for our national convention registration. I thought I had stated that in my original post.

Tom Earp · #21 05-19-2003, 11:29 PM

Lost, I am sorry, I tried to re-edit but had a glitch in the system of GC!

If that is the case, I would contact your National not via e-mail, but on the phone!

Explain this situation, but not quite in so much detail about your personel relationship!

Explain, that you were not awae of it for that long of a period of time and would like to make restitution on a payment plan!

If what you say about your back ground is true, then I am sure that they know you and will work with you!

Good luck and keep us updated!

33girl · #22 05-20-2003, 12:07 AM

Lost,

I should hope that the "powers that be" and anyone else who has found out about your situation will be understanding - after all, they are your sisters. I'm sure some of them have had similar struggles as well. If anything, maybe this will be a wakeup call to them to get on the stick as far as processing things in a more timesly manner. For them to lose the support of a dedicated alumna due to a bookkeeping error would be most unfortunate.

I'm glad that you and your hubby were able to work things out.

XOMichelle · #23 05-20-2003, 01:44 AM

Lost-
It sounds like you are doiong everything that can be done! I know if I was in your org I would want them to help you out and extend payment. To extend a loan of $500 is a small price to pay for 15 years of dedicated service.
-Michelle

MysticCat · #24 05-20-2003, 08:31 AM

Good luck, Lost! And I'm really glad that your husband sees this as a wake-up call too and is on board with working it out.

LeslieAGD · #25 05-20-2003, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
Just one comment..............

With the HIGH percentage of alumnae who never get involved, and never pay dues (and probably never have their membership revoked), they want to revoke yours?????

Quote:

Originally posted by Lost
For almost 15 years as an alumna, I've worked for my org freely and gladly in any capacity that was asked. I've been able to do things within my group and reach personal goals that may not have been open to me anywhere else. I had hoped to go on to a higher level but that may no longer be possible even if/when this situation is resolved.

I have only heard from the one person in our main office via letter but it was supposedly copied to several others including the regional VP and the national president. If they can't see past an unfortunate set of circumstances, then it will be their loss.

I am really disturbed by the fact that this woman is an advisor and alumnae chapter officer and all she gets is a lousy letter alerting her of this situation?!? What the hell kind of way is that to treat people who have an active role in the the orgianization and have obviously dedicated so much?!? I think the appreciatation and sensitivity of members has gone out the window and if GLOs continue to treat people like money in the bank, we won't have active alums and our greek system will go down the drain.

33girl · #26 05-20-2003, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LeslieAGD
I am really disturbed by the fact that this woman is an advisor and alumnae chapter officer and all she gets is a lousy letter alerting her of this situation?!? What the hell kind of way is that to treat people who have an active role in the the orgianization and have obviously dedicated so much?!? I think the appreciatation and sensitivity of members has gone out the window and if GLOs continue to treat people like money in the bank, we won't have active alums and our greek system will go down the drain.

Leslie,

I think it depends on who is working in the office - if there are non-members working on things like this, they simply might not know any better and simply send a form letter to everyone, not knowing who is who.

For example - if I was working at our HQ and saw that Sidney Allen had a problem with this or that, you can bet I would be on the horn to her ASAP to clear it up. Sidney was National NPC pres and she is very very very high up on the totem pole as far as revered members. I've been hearing her name since I pledged. But if Joe Blow was working at our office, it might not mean a thing to him.

I'm not saying non-members shouldn't work at HQ, just that there should be somewhat more of a checks & balances system in place to avoid situations like the one Lost found herself in.

FuzzieAlum · #27 05-20-2003, 11:46 AM

Tom, that was a little harsh! You know so much about Greek life that I would have thought you would have known that every NPHC org has alumni dues. Some of the NPC groups do, too, although not paying them leads to inactive status rather than "dis-memberment."

LeslieAGD · #28 05-20-2003, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
But if Joe Blow was working at our office, it might not mean a thing to him.

Okay, I honestly don't know anything about an HQs system recoreds so I may be wrong, but wouldn't you think that if you plugged in a member's name it should pop up with some basic info that mentioned she was ABC chapter's advisor?

Also, it was a large money amount from convention...not a collegian not paying dues (not that collegians should be disregarded, but they usually have people notifiying them, ie - officers, advisors)...I would think that should have been noticed and handled accordingly.

33girl · #29 05-20-2003, 12:48 PM

Well, I know that w/ our convention signups you had to specify if you were an alum, collegiate or advisor delegate - if you weren't any of those, you were a non-delegate attendee and I think that was all the designation you have. Take Sidney again. She is basically "retired" from offices, so she would show up as a non-delegate - no special designation. Even if you are a chapter advisor, if you're not the advisor DELEGATE it might not say so.

adpiucf · #30 05-20-2003, 01:58 PM

Alumnae dues vary by organization; typically any international fees for individual alumnae are voluntary. Alumnae Associations and Collegiate Chapters do pay international fees yearly. These monies come from the members' individual dues. In ADPi, for example, Alumnae who are not affiliated with an Alumnae Association are not expected to pay a mandatory alumnae fee.

The issue with Lost is that a check made out for a function she attended (like a convention) did not clear, so the HQ needs to collect the money. Rather than send a collections agency out (which is a last resort for most GLO's; they prefer to give the member an opportunity to pay without it affecting their credit rating), the international organization will send out a letter. I'm sure the letter seemed a little impersonal; think of when you overdraw your checking account. Even the words, "We know these things happen" comes off cold!

I really doubt they will cancel Lost's membership if she fulfills her end by working out a payment plan, as GLO's want to retain members, especially those who remain as involved as Lost. They'll give her every opportunity to resolve the bounced check.

Good luck!