Relationship Question: How long.... - Page 2

Dionysus · #1 04-22-2003, 10:12 PM

If people move in before they get married they don't have that much to look forward to, but that's just my humble opinion.

The1calledTKE · #2 04-22-2003, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
If people move in before they get married they don't have that much to look forward to, but that's just my humble opinion.

If the only thing people look forward to when then get married is moving in together, then don't get married.

LeslieAGD · #3 04-22-2003, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zntke711
If the only thing people look forward to when then get married is moving in together, then don't get married.

I really doubt that Dionysus meant that there is nothing else to look forward to in the relationship...just that the whole "making a life together in a new space" element will be gone.

Jadey28 · #4 04-22-2003, 10:27 PM

So, when you are ready for kids you get married. What else is there to talk about?

So well put James! And I assure you, I am not ready for kids at this moment. I have way too many things to do before then!

Thanks everybody!

MoxieGrrl · #5 04-22-2003, 10:46 PM

I was just talking about this today at work! My fiance and I moved in together after college pretty much out of economic necessity. There is no way I could have afforded an apartment by myself, and there are no jobs in my hometown for him. So, we moved to Pittsburgh together and lived with his parents. (THAT is a true test of the relationship. I would *highly* advise NOT doing this. EVER. NEVER EVER.) After a few months, we have our own apartment, and it's a real learning experience. We're learning how to share responsibilities before the wedding craziness, which I have found to be very good.

However, the girl I work with did not move in with her SO before they were married. She enjoyed starting everything new together. She said it was definitely a shock getting used to some of his strange habits and all, but she wasn't going to divorce him over his doing the dishes before he eats dinner. Whereas if someone wasn't married, it's easy to let those little things build up, drive you nuts, and move out.

Generally, it varies couple to couple. There is so much more to making a relationship work than the physical space you share and when.

OUlioness01 · #6 04-22-2003, 11:27 PM

first of all, my grandparents were high school sweethearts--in fact they got married only a couple months after my grandmother graduated. they had 3 children and were very happy until my grandfather died in early 2002. that was 53 years of marriage. So yes, i do believe that high school sweetheart marriages can last.

I don't really think that a couple should live together before they are married unless you live in a town where you need a roommate in order to make ends meet. If you need to live with someone after you're engaged because you want to grow closer to them or get to know them better then maybe you're not ready to be engaged to them in the first place. I'm a firm believer in getting to know someone by talking to each other--I mean really talking, not gossiping or never being serious with one another. Maybe I'm just old fashioned.

juniorgrrl · #7 04-22-2003, 11:28 PM

My boy and I have been dating since September 1997 - we were 17.

Two weeks ago he proposed.

By the time we are married we will have been together for nearly 7 years.

He's dated other girls; I have not dated anyone else.

I don't really care if there is anyone else out there - I've found what I'm looking for. I don't think that will change. I'm fully aware that this is for life.

One of my best friends just married the guy she started dating after HS graduation.

Don't rush things. When its meant to happen, it will.

TaraHopeful · #8 04-22-2003, 11:30 PM

I think that it's good to not live together before marriage but then again that can help you find out some of his/her faults b4 you tie the knot. For example: bad hygiene, messy, rude, etc...

Kevin · #9 04-22-2003, 11:51 PM

I've seen the good and bad results from living together before marriage..

Every couple is different. It's out of anyone's hands to really give you advice on when you should think about marriage. Personally I won't even talk about with my girlfriend of 3 years because I think 23 is still too young (for me).