i am so confused!!!!!!

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by smiley21
okay so here's the deal. i finally talked to him. basically it was what i have been dreading all along. he said that we are just casually dating. he is not interested in anyone else but we should be free to see other people if we wanted too. it hurts. i dont like that at all. but what can i do. basically its like a broken heart but without the pain of not having him in my life. cause we are still seeing each other. my parents are not making things easy (he said that in so many words) somebody please shoot me so i can be out of my misery. for months i have dreaded the thought of not having him in my life. now the possibility is hanging over my head. i am such a fool.

You're not a fool. You're sad and disappointed. Surround yourself with the people and things you like in order to help you through this difficult time. I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.

[James]

Amycat is right on many levels.

Your parents want what is right for you by how they see the world.

They may not be right. I am not sure there is a right actually lol.

Ok for all of you that think your parents made a good call . . well they didn't ok? They got lucky or unlucky.

I could tell you all your BF's are unsuitable from the first to the one(s) you marry and I would get most of them right.

Why? Because you don't marry and live happily ever after with EVERY BF! Think kids lol.

In fact most people don't make the right choice when they do find someone to settle down with but thats another thread . . . lol.

Oh, and when you break up with someone you alays think something was wrong with them . . otherwise you wouldn't have broken up!

LOL.

But seriously, you have to evaluate advice based on your own perspective (hopefully with some common sense and detachment) and keep in mind that almost everyone has an agenda when they give you advice. Your parents included!

Can I get at least one Amen?

Originally posted by amycat412
OK I have to disagree on the parents thing.

Only YOU know, and maybe your best friend, what is right for you.

my mom LOVED my ex-husband. LOVED HIM., Could not encourage enough me to marry him, called me 24 hours a day saying do it he's wonderful. And even tho my own gut said not to do it, I thought mom must know something I didn't. So I married him. Guy turned out to be an abusive prick.

my mom LOVED my ex boyfriend K. LOVED LOVED LOVED him. I didn't.

My mom is not too thrilled w mr. amycat. She doesn't even know him, actually, but she's made this decision. And I've never been happier, never been treated better in my life.

You've got to do what you know is right. Your parents don't have to live your life, YOU do.

[James]

smiley21, i understand that you maintained a close emotional relationship with the guy after you decided it was best to be friends.

But was it a physicaly intimate one also? That would do a great deal to affect the advice I give you.

[smiley21]

Originally posted by James
smiley21, i understand that you maintained a close emotional relationship with the guy after you decided it was best to be friends.

But was it a physicaly intimate one also? That would do a great deal to affect the advice I give you.

damn, you've hit a nerve

well it was physically intimate even in the friendship part. but i dont want people think that is why i am so hurt. it is more than that. i dont rely on him to be physically satisfied or whatever. i am hurt cause we have been through so much stuff together. we consider us to be best friends. it is like the chunk of my life that he had is one of the best parts of my life. even all the bad moments. i dont know. i just feel cheapened at the thought the my heart is stomped on because the guy i am intimate with is just casual.

[smiley21]

uf_pike- make sure you check your pm box

[UF_PikePC98]

Originally posted by smiley21
uf_pike- make sure you check your pm box

I did, and I replied.....

[James]

smiley21 there is something seriously wrong with this topic . . .

Why are you confused?

Bear with me: you had a great relationship with this guy and it only went sour when you basically told him that your parents don't approve of him and won't let you see him.

So you basically said you just want to be friends, and then went on to maintain a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him anyway.

Talk about confusing for him.

So why are you surprised that he would take you seriously and just do what you told him you wanted? Be friends, or in your case friends with benefits. If anything you should be happy that he is still treating you like a GF because it makes it much harder for him to find someone else and you get the best of both worlds.

But remember: you chose to ruin this relationship. So only you can repair it, if you it can be repaired. Most things that are broken and mended are never as strong again.

[smiley21]

Originally posted by James
smiley21 there is something seriously wrong with this topic . . .

Why are you confused?

Bear with me: you had a great relationship with this guy and it only went sour when you basically told him that your parents don't approve of him and won't let you see him.

So you basically said you just want to be friends, and then went on to maintain a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him anyway.

Talk about confusing for him.

So why are you surprised that he would take you seriously and just do what you told him you wanted? Be friends, or in your case friends with benefits. If anything you should be happy that he is still treating you like a GF because it makes it much harder for him to find someone else and you get the best of both worlds.

But remember: you chose to ruin this relationship. So only you can repair it, if you it can be repaired. Most things that are broken and mended are never as strong again.

i get what your saying. i was confused cause i thought that he wanted me back as his girlfriend due to the fact that he made references like 'my girlfriend' or 'my girl' or something. i guess i was reading too much into it. what he needs is space. but really we should have never got serious in the first place. he is not stable (emotionally, physically...) i dont want to get into it. too personal. he told me that i am his closest friend and he knows that i will do anything for him. that is because i want him to be happy. he deserves to be happy.