Gay...Not Gay...That's The Question - Page 2

valkyrie · #16 03-05-2003, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by shultzz
He is definitely gay.

So you know this from personal experience? LOL

shultzz · #17 03-05-2003, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
So you know this from personal experience? LOL

Easy there "Anne Heche".

valkyrie · #18 03-05-2003, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by shultzz
Easy there "Anne Heche".

ROFLMAO!!!

Lil' Hannah · #19 03-05-2003, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bgsugirlie
How do you tell if someone is gay?

You don't. You remain their friend and don't worry about who they're in bed with.

damasa · #20 03-05-2003, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lil' Hannah
You don't. You remain their friend and don't worry about who they're in bed with.

True, but that only works if she wants to be friends and nothing more. If she's looking at the situation as a potential hook-up well then she kind of needs to know.

bgsugirlie · #21 03-05-2003, 08:12 PM

I wish I had a gay guy friend that would be able to tell whether or not the guy I'm talking to is gay. I really like him...I just don't want to fall in love with a gay guy if that's the case.

I know he's had girlfriends in the past...there was one that he was truly heartbroken over...he told me about it.

But I still think it's possible for guys to have dated girls in the past before they "realized" that they were gay.

But honestly...what straight guy says "super"?!?!?!

josh8o · #22 03-06-2003, 05:00 AM

i've read this thread for awhile....your situation sucks.
if i was the guy, i would not want you to ask me---at all. it would most likely make me question your feelings and thoughts about me if we did start a relationship, and i would honestly feel like crap. if you notice things, then most likely other people have too, and most likely those people have asked him. that in its self can hurt to have people repeadly asking you about something that is very personal. you can never really know if he is gay...only he knows, and honestly it is up to him to decide how he will live his life. anyway, i think you should put yourself out there. tell him how you feel about him, regardless of the gay thing, and see what happens. if he feels the same about you then you have the possibility of a new relationship. if he dosent, and isn't gay, big deal! i'm sure he isn't going to stop talking to you. if he is gay he will either come out to you, or he will just tell you he does not share your feelings, but i'm sure he will still be your friend. hope some of tis helped.

Hootie · #23 03-06-2003, 12:48 PM

I have this friend that I met here at college four years ago. I swore up and down (to myself) that he was gay when I first met him. Then I asked a friend that knew him, and she said he wasn't.

If you don't have that opprotunity you may want to see how he reacts in situations. Maybe go to a gay bar/club together to dance and see how he feels prior to going and while there. Note: don't go there alone. That's too weird.

Um, you could try bringing up sexuality in conversation. Act like you were discussing the issue in a class or with your friends or something and see what he has to say. Although he may not come out and say it, it may give you better clues.

Whatever you do, just be careful the way you phrase things if you ask. Certainly, as people above mentioned, you don't want to offend him or piss him off. That'd be the worst thing you could do.

I wish it was cut and dry. Good Luck!

James · #24 03-06-2003, 08:43 PM

you mean his wife drove him to being gay? Wow talk about being unhappy!

Quote:

Originally posted by CutiePie2000
That doesn't mean anything. Lots of gay men have girlfriends (yes, who they even sleep with) before they embrace their true sexual identity. My orthodontist was married with children, and then finally came "out" at age 50.

James · #25 03-06-2003, 08:46 PM

This is corect actually. His sexuality really is his business. Why not stick to the point?

You like him and want to go out with him. Why not just tell him you are interested? That way you are making yourself vulnerable rather than trying to prey on his vulnerabilities.

Quote:

Originally posted by Cream
I don't think that you should ask. His sexuality is private and not really your business unless he chooses to share that information. Also if he is gay, he might not be ready to deal with that himself, let alone discuss it with someone else.

SoCalGirl · #26 03-06-2003, 09:40 PM

I agree w/ Josh and James. If your interested in him, make your move.

'Course I also have yet to get the vibe and not be right. Although there have been some that I never had a clue. Then there's my one Humanities teacher that was, I'm sorry, but a middle aged balding fat slob. I never would have guessed. He wore dirty clothes and had long gross hair. The anti-stereotype of a gay man. He was open about his sexuality though and managed to tie everything in history back to homosexuality.

Doesn't it seem lately that there's way more homosexuals? Just an observation. Maybe my "gaydar" is on overload because my office has many many many gays and lesbians. I can't figure out if it's the "cool thing to do" or if society has become more accepting so people feel more comfortable being open. Somehow though I just don't think society is all that accepting and still massively homophobic. So I think it's more the former than the latter. :shrug: Thoughts?

Optimist Prime · #27 03-06-2003, 10:17 PM

yeah...try to go down on him. If he stops you, he's gay.

bgsugirlie · #28 03-06-2003, 11:08 PM

Optimist Prime...are you serious about the giving head thing? Because if you are, then he must be gay!

I tried doing that about a month ago, and he said no to it. But he claims it was because we were cuddling and just kind of talkign and he wasn't "excited enough."

And here's some additional info...we were talkign about sex one day and he told me he likes butt sex the best, then head, and then normal sex. Maybe that says it all????

Although I do know that he has had sex with 2 girls in the past.

I just don't know what to think about him.

Talk about confusing!!!!

damasa · #29 03-06-2003, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bgsugirlie

I tried doing that about a month ago, and he said no to it. But he claims it was because we were cuddling and just kind of talkign and he wasn't "excited enough."

Try it again!!

Keep tryin' until you do it! lol

CutiePie2000 · #30 03-06-2003, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
you mean his wife drove him to being gay? Wow talk about being unhappy!

No. I know you're trying to be cheeky, but it's not really funny.

Since I said he was age 50, he would have gotten married in an era that would not have been tolerant of his homosexuality. So, he chose the path of denial, got married, had children, etc. Finally he could not keep up the charade any longer, and was divorced (amicably, I might add) from his wife. This happens more often than you think....you can read about it in magazines, etc.