When is the right time? - Page 2

Ideal08 · #16 06-06-2001, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Professor:
Brothers - See what I mean - lol

"Just like I look in people's medicine cabinets when I visit and use the potty"

Hey, at least I'm honest!

And a lot of people do this!! It's NOT just me!! LOL!

AlphaChiGirl · #17 06-06-2001, 03:50 PM

Oh, I just meant using the phone at all when I'm not around. It's not that I'm shady, it's just that I don't want people in my business.

And yes, I am NOSY! I am all about looking in medicine cabinets and under sinks!

Ideal08 · #18 06-06-2001, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlphaChiGirl:
And yes, I am NOSY! I am all about looking in medicine cabinets and under sinks!

Ooh, under sinks!!!! I hadn't thought of that!! I'ma hafta start doing that too.

Shelacious · #19 06-06-2001, 05:02 PM

LOL...my man lives out of state, so we don't have a choice...I'm at work if he flies in for a long weekend, or vice versa. First time I'd stayed at his spot, he came home and asked if I'd made sure to search the medicine cabinet

. Outside of that though, I would be leery of anyone (especially some guy I'm just casually dating) staying at my home without being there.

Having said that...another question...

Does it matter if you've had sex with this person or not? Frankly, I can't imagine that you'd be willing to have sex with someone but not trust them enough to be around your stuff unsupervised, but this does happen, right?

------------------
Finer Womanhood: the "Cat's Meow" Since 1920

The Original Ape · #20 06-07-2001, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shelacious:
LOL...my man lives out of state, so we don't have a choice...I'm at work if he flies in for a long weekend, or vice versa. First time I'd stayed at his spot, he came home and asked if I'd made sure to search the medicine cabinet . Outside of that though, I would be leery of anyone (especially some guy I'm just casually dating) staying at my home without being there.

Having said that...another question...

Does it matter if you've had sex with this person or not? Frankly, I can't imagine that you'd be willing to have sex with someone but not trust them enough to be around your stuff unsupervised, but this does happen, right?

Shelacious,

I think people KNOW who they can trust. You have to test people; and continue to test them-until they prove themselves one way or the other. Consider 'em GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT.

AKA2D '91 · #21 06-07-2001, 10:12 AM

MAN, what kind of test(s)?

email your answer!

Shelacious · #22 06-07-2001, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape:

Shelacious,

I think people KNOW who they can trust. You have to test people; and continue to test them-until they prove themselves one way or the other. Consider 'em GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT.

Test them? What tests?

I dunno, but it just seems that most of the men I haven't trusted to stay in my home alone, I had no business being with in the first place in any capacity. ((Shrugs)) Maybe it's a girl vs. guy thing...for women, premature intimate contact is more likely to create a false sense of intimacy than for men. That's why I asked if you could have sex with a person but not trust them.

Good topic Ideal08!

Ideal08 · #23 06-07-2001, 11:56 AM

Well, I think that it's possible to have sex with someone and not trust them. Hell, it happens everyday. Or maybe it's the LEVEL of trust that we are talking about here. This is a very thought provoking question, Shelacious. Now you really have me thinking about this.

Let me clarify something. It's not that I wouldn't leave a dude in my apartment because I don't trust him with my belongings. If it was all like that, he couldn't be in my place at all. What I don't trust is the message that something like that sends. It takes the relationship to a whole 'nother level. I've learned, though, that sex does not necessarily take the relationship to that other level.

pebbles_6 · #24 06-07-2001, 01:30 PM

Well, I let my man stay at my apartment while I went to work one day so he could let the cable guy in. I didn't know it at the time, but after we broke up, he told me how he went through EVERYTHING in my apartment (my drawers, under my bed, closets, etc.). We had dated for almost two years and this happened. That's not why we broke up, but when we did and he told me that, I felt so betrayed. If he wanted to see anything in that apartment, he was welcome to it. All he had to do was ask...anyway, I digress. I think once y'all are married, it's the right time to leave each other alone in Y'ALL's house!

DSTSolo01 · #25 06-07-2001, 03:46 PM

Well, see now, the thing with that is.... In the few times that I have been left alone in guy's rooms/apartments.. I don't go through things because I don't want to find something I really don't want to see. Especially if it is a guy I am dating/intimate with, when you go through stuff and you find something that upsets you, then that's your fault. Don't get it twisted.. I can be real nosy at times, but I respect people's privacy cause I wouldn't want anyone going through my stuff. Hell, whenever my best friend comes over, she goes through EVERYTHING and that annoys the HECK out of me, and she does it right in front of me. I don't think I could ever leave a GUY alone in my spot. It's not even about having something to hide, but it's MY STUFF... Not a public commodity, it's MINE. Anyone feel me?

Alexis
#1 Braveheart
SOLO
Rho Iota, Spring 2001

The Original Ape · #26 06-07-2001, 09:36 PM

This may sound crazy to some, but I think if yall gone as far as to have sex, you SHOULD be able to trust him around your "other stuff", you know?

AKA2D '91 · #27 06-07-2001, 09:38 PM

ya'll notice how he capitalized "should"...

I don't really have a comment, I just thought I'd put that out there!

Ideal08 · #28 06-08-2001, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
This may sound crazy to some, but I think if yall gone as far as to have sex, you SHOULD be able to trust him around your "other stuff", you know?

You SHOULD also be able to trust him not to have sex with other women, to tell the truth, etc. But I digress.

LMAO @ "other stuff"

Aspire · #29 06-08-2001, 08:58 AM

Not to sound childish but I didn't even like for my parents to be in my room when I was a kid.So I definitely don't plan on leaving anyone in my house while I'm away outside of a relative and some of them I wouldn't leave in my house alone.As for sex people sleep with people they don't trust everyday just on the basis of trying to catch a moment of bliss

,so that doesn't mean anything but you are trying to get some. So lets just say discretion is advise when deciding on who to/or not to leave in your house. Or just don't leave anyone there at all unless they chip in on rent or the house note

Aspire · #30 06-08-2001, 08:59 AM

Not to sound childish but I didn't even like for my parents to be in my room when I was a kid.So I definitely don't plan on leaving anyone in my house while I'm away outside of a relative and some of them I wouldn't leave in my house alone.As for sex people sleep with people they don't trust everyday just on the basis of trying to catch a moment of bliss

,so that doesn't mean anything but you are trying to get some. So lets just say discretion is advise when deciding on who to/or not to leave in your house. Or just don't leave anyone there at all unless they chip in on rent or the house note