Ole Miss Rush rush story

[rainbuckets]

I hope this story doesn't hurt anyone's feelings.

My daughter, as a daughter of non-greeks and MUW and Miss. State grads (grandparents also), went through rush at Ole Miss last year. She did not have a chance. I had no idea. Forget the stuff about grades being the most important criteria. She was a National Merit Finalist. (It would have helped a lot more if she had been a cheerleader.) Forget the stuff about the sorority members getting to know you during rush - there is a period of only ten or fifteen minutes with the members the first night. She was cut from every sorority but one after the first night (cut from it the second).

Over 50% of the girls that went through rush were from out-of-state. These girls have a better chance than Ms. girls without strong Ole Miss connections. An alum actually told me that they would only take one or two girls from our area, which had over twenty girls going out for rush. It didn't matter that it is one of the more exclusive areas of the state.

Some of the sororities are dominated by girls from out of state, as shown on their websites: Theta and PiPhi, certainly. Possibly KKG and AOPi.

The requirement that legacies are always invited back for the second party certainly did not help my daughter get to know any of the sorority girls.

Looks and reputation did not keep my daughter out. She is pretty(completely unbiased here), has a model's figure, has boys chasing her, and maintains them at arm's length.

We followed all the written rush rules - we just did not know the unwritten rules. Apparently, the lists are made out before rush begins for the most part - certainly the first invitations.

Many of the recs for this area are screened by local alums before they go to ole miss - don't know if some of hers ever made it to the sorority. I wonder if the alums are making the decisions for some of the sororities.

She is missing the sisterhood, and part of college life at this university since greek life plays such a huge role at ole miss. I miss the $3,000 that i spent on rush clothes that she never got to wear to rush, and I feel badly that I let her go through rush just to be rejected, and go to ole miss when she could have gone anywhere in the country.

I also feel badly that it has affected my younger daughter's opinions of sororities and ole miss, and probably those of her friends. But she wants to go to Brown or Emory anyway.

I always will wonder if this is the way people want the system to work.

I forgot to add that she thought the thetas were sweet.

[erica812]

Dear "rainbuckets,"

I am so sorry that your daughter had such a poor experience. I also had a very disappointing and hurtful rush experience when I was an undergrad. I went to a very small school where 50% of the campus was Greek. I know that the pressure to be Greek is much, much stronger at your daughter's school, but I also had my heart set on membership in a sorority. I also felt the pain of rejection. Even now, almost five years later, I can feel the ache of knowing that I was not wanted.

Fortunately, I was strong enough to realize that I am smart, talented, and fun to be around, and I was able to find other ways to make life-long friends and wonderful memories. I knew that the fast pace of Formal Rush did not allow any of the sisters to really get to know me. I am a quiet person, but I am a sincere and compassionate friend. I've always been shy in group settings, so Formal Rush simply did not present the ideal opportunity for the sororities to get to know the real me. I can't blame them for not inviting a girl they barely knew! I did not find a home in a collegiate sorority simply because the system did not fit the way I make friends. I attended an informal event during the following autumn and received a bid, but by then, I was so involved in so many other student organizations that I KNEW that I couldn't give as much of my time as the sisterhood deserved.

Yes, I was heartbroken. Yes, I still sometimes regret the choice I made in turning down Pi Beta Phi's bid, but if I had not dedicated myself to the student newspaper, the college choir & Chamber Singers, the National Service Fraternity (Alpha Phi Omega), and the college literary magazine, I wouldn't be the same person that I am now. And you know what? I like that person

I hope that your daughter can take heart in knowing that the system doesn't work for everyone. I hope that you will help her to recognize all the wonderful qualities in herself that obviously make you proud!

My greatest pain did not truly come from the rejection; it came from missing the bonds of sisterhood that I had waited so long for. Now, as a graduate student, I am forming a chapter of Beta Sigma Phi, a wonderful International sorority that I know I will love! I may also consider alumna initiation someday, but no matter what I do in the future, I refuse to feel bitter about my Rush experience. It taught me so much about myself and my ability to make choices that are right for me.

Good luck to you and your daughter! Sorry for rambling a bit, but I thought it was important for me to share my story. I think it has a pretty happy ending.

All the Best to you,
Erica

[OleMissMom]

Rainbuckets

Rush at Ole Miss can be brutal. It seems almost every girl there was homecoming queen, cheerleader, majorette, class president, top grades and on and on. I must admit I did get that phone call after round one from my daughter saying she had been cut from several houses and wanted to come home. (I had tried to prepare her for possible rejection but it didn't work.)But I told her to stick it out and luckily everything did work out for her. I think the thing that helped her was that she had attended summer school and had gotten to know several sorority members. I do know (at least for Theta) that all the recs are given to the sorority - and not to have them is the kiss of death. Thetas study the recs very carefully. And you are right, it is tough to make such decsions after just a few minutes with the PNMs. This is my daughter's second year of being on the other side and she tells me she always votes with her heart (and her heart does not always agree with everyone elses). Even though rush did not work for your daughter, I do hope that she is having a good experience with the rest of Ole Miss. I feel very good about my daughter being there.

OleMissMom

[DPhiEAngel]

Sorry - I don't know too much about Ole Miss except that it has a brutally competitive rush.

If there are so many girls getting rejected, why doesn't Panhel ask a new organization onto campus?

[honeychile]

DphiEAngel makes a strong point: why aren't more NPC sororities on Ole Miss campus? One of the ideals our Panhellenic Council pounded into us was that there should be a space for every woman who goes through rush. Does anyone know which groups are represented there?

[MSKKG]

The sororities that are there now (unless something has changed) are:

Alpha Omicron Pi
Chi Omega
Delta Delta Delta
Delta Gamma
Kappa Alpha Theta
Kappa Delta
Kappa Kappa Gamma
Phi Mu
Pi Beta Phi

Alpha Xi Delta left during my early college days; Alpha Delta Pi and Zeta Tau Alpha have since left. I think Zeta Tau Alpha left and then tried to recolonize but wound up leaving again. This was a while after I graduated from Ole Miss, so it might just be hearsay.

[rainbuckets]

I asked the Greek advisor about colonization of other sororities, and he isn't very concerned about non-placement or happy placement of girls. He stated that they would not be able to get a sorority that would be willing to invest over a million dollars in a sorority house. I wrote a letter to Delta Zeta to see if this would be a problem for them Their representative told me no basically, and gave me Florida as an example. Then I wrote to the Panhellenic President, who said that two sororities had expressed interest in colonization, but that the Panhellenic Council did not know how to go about doing it, and the advisor was not assisting. I tried to let her know that it was up to the Panhellenic and not the advisor, as she originally thought. I sent her email to the NPC representative, but I haven't heard anything since.

The GLO's presently at ole miss are:

AOPi
Chi O
DDD
DG
KAT
KD
KKG
Pi Phi
Phi Mu

Total is at 150, unless it has been raised this year. All sororities were at total and upwards, several being over 200 members.
ZTA left in 1999 due to low numbers. The college bought their house.

The advisor uses statistics to show that they place over 80% of the girls, but a lot of the pledge classes disappear over the first year somehow. I don't know if they don't join or leave. (Total was around 68 last year, with some of the sororities getting up to 73 PNM's. The returning sophomores according to two of the websites was around 45. What happened to the other 28 pledges? It is possible that they did not make grades, I guess.)

They increased total last year from 125 to 150, rather than try to get more sororities on campus.

One of my friends who is a male and a big ole miss alum told me the other day that if you took all the girls that weren't in sororities and made a sorority with them, you would have the best sorority on campus.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by rainbuckets
I asked the Greek advisor about colonizaion of other sororities, and he isn't very concerned about non-placement or happy placement of girls.

...two sororities had expressed interest in colonization, but that the Panhellenic Council did not know how to go about doing it, and the advisor was not assisting.

Why in Heaven's name is this jerk-o a Greek Advisor????

[mrsfergie]

rainbuckets - how could your daughter have worn $3000 worth of outfits for Ole Miss rush? It's only three parties worth of rush there - That would be $1000 an outfit.

[KarenC725]

I guess it just seems odd to me that if its such a large Greek influence school that there are only 9-10 sororities. I would have thought there would be a lot more.

Also, just as my two cents, I cannot fathom spending that large amount of money on rush clothes. My mother (who was in a house) would have shot me first...

[carnation]

Karen, it's like the LSU situation. You know how the other nationals are leery of coming in because the rushees have the groups they want set in stone in their heads? Same thing. At some schools, the PNMs would rather be in a humongous, prestigious, established sorority than a smaller, newer, or (heaven forbid!) less prestigious one.

[KarenC725]

Sorry, guess I had my "northerner" hat on. Oh, to be young and impressionable again

[IowaHawkeye]

DZ went and conquered UF, making total with 150 great new members, and over 500 being interested in the colony - I think it is time for DZ (or anyone for that matter!) to focus their expansion efforts on Ole Miss. After all of the disappointment, I am sure there are an equal number (500 like UF) interesed in greek life and wanting to join!

[MSKKG]

All I've heard about Bid Day at Ole Miss, which was tonight, is that the young lady from where I live joined Pi Beta Phi. I heard that from her mom, so I hope I'll get all the particulars later. She preffed Kappa, Chi O, and Pi Phi.

[shadokat]

After I went and checked out the Ole Miss Panhellenic site, I realized one reason they may not have a great expansion program. Did you SEE those houses?!? They're huge, and look incredibly expensive. Some of NPC may not be able to afford to take on such a HUGE expense. Look at what AOPi had to incur to start at Indiana...definitely a reason to be wary of this sort of campus.