Cheating Men

[iotamason]

The no.1 reason men as well as women cheat is they feel their partner is lacking in a certain area in the relationship.

I believe there are 5 points in a relationship in which the people will have to be connected: Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual, and Sexual.

As long as these five points coincide between the two individuals, a man will see no reason to go elsewhere. All needs are met. It is when something is not connecting between the two or they are not on the same "level" will infidelity happen.

Emotionally- A man wants a woman that will encourage him not tear him down. He wants her to let him know that he is needed. In turn he should be comfortable to confide in his woman with his emotions and it not be seen as a "weakness" but strength that he has that much trust in her.

Mentally- The man and woman should be on the same wavelength when it comes to conversation. THe should be able to connect on mulitiple range of topics and share the same interest... also think of this as "Communication"

Physically- There must be some type of attraction....that way if everything else lines up ... something that "Sparkles a little more" will not make the brotha stray.

Spiritually- Every man wants a woman that can be his "rib" especially if it deals with religion, they should have at least the same basic views so that being unequally yoked spiritually will not become a problem.

Sexually- In marriage a husband and his wife become one. The husband should be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his wife satisfied as well as vice versa.. If everything you need to satisfy you is done behind closed doors then a man will not go out else where to be satisfied..

[pinkies up]

^^^. The above is true, however, the reason someone cheats is not an excuse to cheat. Just because someone feels that an area is lacking, it gives the person no excuse to go and cheat. (especially in a marriage). When people are dating, it's important for both parties to express expectations. For example, if the two agree to date eachother, but have an open relationship, then they both need to be mature enough to handle it. Don't say it's okay to have friends of the opposite sex, but then nag about it.

[7thSonofOsiris]

In regards to this topic, I think that, all too often, honor and integrity driven brothers, make an intensely concerted effort to remain just that, honorable. But, then there's the number of cheesy brothers out there that spent their bachelor party events, engaged in some actions that should not have come to fruition, so, the ability or the inability/proclivity of a man to cheat lies deeply embedded in the man's character. If he was garbage before the marriage, there is a chance that he may not change his ways, and remain garbage after he's married.
But too, the same inferrence can be connected to some of the sisters out there. Recently, I was on a visit to Atlanta, and although I know that Atlanta ain't the best city to try to be focused in, the women were rolling up trippin'. It's hard man. Anyway, I came across some women who just didn't give a damn. Some were married, and most weren't. I was with some of my Bruhs, and oh boy, my newly married Sands' would show the women his ring and then he'd say, "oh, I'm married" and some women were like, "so, I didn't ask you that". I was like, okay. The world can be a debauched place, but, its all about the character of both the man and the woman, and ultimately, the role that Christ plays in their lives.

The 7th

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by 7thSonofOsiris

In regards to this topic, I think that, all too often, honor and integrity driven brothers, make an intensely concerted effort to remain just that, honorable. But, then there's the number of cheesy brothers out there that spent their bachelor party events, engaged in some actions that should not have come to fruition, so, the ability or the inability/proclivity of a man to cheat lies deeply embedded in the man's character. If he was garbage before the marriage, there is a chance that he may not change his ways, and remain garbage after he's married.
But too, the same inferrence can be connected to some of the sisters out there. Recently, I was on a visit to Atlanta, and although I know that Atlanta ain't the best city to try to be focused in, the women were rolling up trippin'. It's hard man. Anyway, I came across some women who just didn't give a damn. Some were married, and most weren't. I was with some of my Bruhs, and oh boy, my newly married Sands' would show the women his ring and then he'd say, "oh, I'm married" and some women were like, "so, I didn't ask you that". I was like, okay. The world can be a debauched place, but, its all about the character of both the man and the woman, and ultimately, the role that Christ plays in their lives.

The 7th

This is so true. Once a cheater 9 times out of 10 always a cheater. I was watching this show on National Geographic. It was about wolves and it was just saying that wolves stay with one mate. I heard that dolphins do too. These are animals and it's shame human beings can't stay with one person.

[Professor]

This is just what I'm talking about - - - for me, it has nothing to do with my maturity. Its about why women are always after men that are not available. I'm just like the next man, sometimes I'm weak and give in to having conversations with women when I should just keep moving. At these times, I set myselft up for trouble.

I was on a visit to Atlanta, and although I know that Atlanta ain't the best city to try to be focused in, the women were rolling up trippin'. It's hard man. Anyway, I came across some women who just didn't give a damn. Some were married, and most weren't. I was with some of my Bruhs, and oh boy, my newly married Sands' would show the women his ring and then he'd say, "oh, I'm married" and some women were like, "so, I didn't ask you that". I was like, okay. The world can be a debauched place, but, its all about the character of both the man and the woman, and ultimately, the role that Christ plays in their lives.

The 7th[/QUOTE]

[btb87]

Tony, this is why I loves you man!

Professor, I'm sure it's hard, but it's not impossible. You can only control you. Not a thing in the world you can do about these women. Don't even try to figure out why they are rolling up on you. YOU JUST DO THE RIGHT THING! So whether you have to walk away or RUN AWAY, then you need to do so. Don't even get caught up. As your frat (TonyB) loves to say, "don't start none, won't be none".

What's the saying about character? It's doing the right thing even when no one is looking.

[KAPPAtivating]

Originally Posted by Professor

This is just what I'm talking about - - - for me, it has nothing to do with my maturity. Its about why women are always after men that are not available. I'm just like the next man, sometimes I'm weak and give in to having conversations with women when I should just keep moving. At these times, I set myselft up for trouble.

I was on a visit to Atlanta, and although I know that Atlanta ain't the best city to try to be focused in, the women were rolling up trippin'. It's hard man. Anyway, I came across some women who just didn't give a damn. Some were married, and most weren't. I was with some of my Bruhs, and oh boy, my newly married Sands' would show the women his ring and then he'd say, "oh, I'm married" and some women were like, "so, I didn't ask you that". I was like, okay. The world can be a debauched place, but, its all about the character of both the man and the woman, and ultimately, the role that Christ plays in their lives.

The 7th

[/QUOTE]

I have always been taught that "the way you get a person, will be the same way you loose them..." meaning, if she is married and throwing it at you, then she will do you the same way with some other man. About the ATL situation, since I have ties to the ATL, I can say, women in the ATL are very aggressive and confident. They will roll up in the parking lot!

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by iotamason

The no.1 reason men as well as women cheat is they feel their partner is lacking in a certain area in the relationship.

I believe there are 5 points in a relationship in which the people will have to be connected: Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual, and Sexual.

As long as these five points coincide between the two individuals, a man will see no reason to go elsewhere. All needs are met. It is when something is not connecting between the two or they are not on the same "level" will infidelity happen.

Emotionally- A man wants a woman that will encourage him not tear him down. He wants her to let him know that he is needed. In turn he should be comfortable to confide in his woman with his emotions and it not be seen as a "weakness" but strength that he has that much trust in her.

Mentally- The man and woman should be on the same wavelength when it comes to conversation. THe should be able to connect on mulitiple range of topics and share the same interest... also think of this as "Communication"

Physically- There must be some type of attraction....that way if everything else lines up ... something that "Sparkles a little more" will not make the brotha stray.

Spiritually- Every man wants a woman that can be his "rib" especially if it deals with religion, they should have at least the same basic views so that being unequally yoked spiritually will not become a problem.

Sexually- In marriage a husband and his wife become one. The husband should be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his wife satisfied as well as vice versa.. If everything you need to satisfy you is done behind closed doors then a man will not go out else where to be satisfied..

See, this is why I'm going to go ahead and stay single. All of this is too much for me. All this connection stuff. Nobody is perfect, because if we were, arguments wouldn't start. I definitely don't disagree with you. All of your points are right on, but no one is this perfect. See, this is why the divorce rate is 65%, because as soon as one of those points you just mentioned is off, rather it be a little or a lot, most couples want to call it quits. Relationships are way too hard.

[7thSonofOsiris]

PB,

What up mang? Fear not young Padawan, for you are destined to fall in

love, simply because that's part of GOD's plan for all of us. You just need

to pray that she's not half-retarded or krazy. This country's

divorce rate is only indicative of this country's leadership and this

country's moral decay. It's all a cyclical flow of madness Bruh, but, that's

convo for a later show.

In regards to love, I don't know much, but I do know this.

Your job is to be the man that you were designed to be, and as you

work to become that beacon, your light will become so illuminescently

bright and strong, that the woman that GOD has destined for you, will find

her way to you because of it Bruh.

the 7th Son

[btb87]

^^^

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by 7thSonofOsiris

PB,

What up mang? Fear not young Padawan, for you are destined to fall in

love, simply because that's part of GOD's plan for all of us. You just need

to pray that she's not half-retarded or krazy. This country's

divorce rate is only indicative of this country's leadership and this

country's moral decay. It's all a cyclical flow of madness Bruh, but, that's

convo for a later show.

In regards to love, I don't know much, but I do know this.

Your job is to be the man that you were designed to be, and as you

work to become that beacon, your light will become so illuminescently

bright and strong, that the woman that GOD has destined for you, will find

her way to you because of it Bruh.

the 7th Son

You make all the sense in the world, and I agree with you, but it's really hard. It's hard to tell when GOD sends someone special my way.

[DST Love]

And to add to my above post, if I keep junk in my house and start eating it everyday and then gain weight, it's not the foods fault that I gained the weight. The junk food didn't seduce me or lead me to eat it. I CHOSE to eat it. I should know my own weaknesses. And if I know that if I would probably eat junk everyday if I was around it every day, then maybe I should make sure I'm not around it when I shouldn't be.

[observant1]

I don't understand how you went from this:

Originally posted by Professor
Constance and her family attended my church on Sunday. My pastor said that we had special guest and asked if I would do the welcome. I talked about how this was a special time of year. A time to celebrate the birth of the living savior. A time to renew old friendships and a time for family. I went on to say that God has been good and that I felt like singing my favorite "To God Be the Glory." I hit every note. Monique, I can sing but I don't really go all out unless it is at a funeral. I had the church on fire. Folk were standing and shouting and I even thought my dad was going to cry. I looked over at my mom and she was dabbing her eye. I felt God's love for me and the love that only parents can give. At this point I was nervous and thought this was going to be the time I have waited for all my life. I thought the Holy Ghost was going to send me running around the church - - - you know how some folk do in church. Well, I've always wanted to know that feeling that is so strong that you pass out as you praise the name of Jesus. Unfortunately, it was not my time. Although now neverous, I testified to my parents and church family that God had blessed me. I went on to talk of times at a low and how his love and forgiveness lifted me. I finally said that there is only one thing that could complete my life - a helpmate ( I got the term from Church Folk). I walked over to Constance and said how she enriched my life and helped me to understand the love that my parents share. I took her by the hand and said that individually each of the three diamonds in my hand is representative of friendship, love and happiness and as my wife I promise a lifetime of all three. I finally said "Will you complete my life and become Mrs. Constance .... Monique she cried and cried and cried. I thought she was going to say no for a minute because she could not stop crying. What really got me is when she placed her hands around my face and kissed me lightly on the lips and said yes. I was HAPPY AND EMBARASSASED at the same time. After all we were in church and I wanted to . . . well you know what I mean. Everyone in church stood and clapped. My parents and her aunts and uncle hugged us. My bad seed Brother was even crying and gave us a hug. I could not have wised for a better way of popping the question. Not bad for a brother that is not considered to be a romantic.

To this:

Originally posted by Professor
For me, I had no intention to start my marriage with this hanging over my head. The fact of the matter is that is was not emotional - - just timing and a physical thing. I'm not in love nor do I have any feelings for the young lady. She seduced me and at some point I just was not strong enough to resist. I'm sorry it happened.

in a matter of 4 months? I just don't understand. And you can't understand why some women are bitter and say some of the things they say about men.

This is why women have so much distrust for men. You give your all-heart, body and soul- and it's abused. After one has gone through the cycle enough times, we just give up and lose all faith in finding that special one. There is no more love or trust to give and we can't take the next guy seriously. All those blows to the heart make it hard. So in turn, we become bitter letting our hardened heart control our minds and thoughts. Professor you state, "women are always talking about men and cheating". Well you just added two more women to the pool who can attest to this fact.

[TLAW]

Well, dang... you guys went deep into the past, didn't ya?

[stoplook_listen]

I know cheating is bad, but it's not as devistating as women make it out to be. Women read to much into it. Usually, when a man cheats, it's just to have an orgasm...a pleasure thing. It's no threat to our girl/wife. Its sounds ignorant, but the statement is true when we say "It didn't mean anything...I LOVE you...I was just F)#king her". You should only be hurt if the man is loosing feelings for you and cheating regularly. But if it was a little slip, due to getting seduced...then cut him some slack. It is really easy to get a mans penis on hard and the blood rushes from our brains and it's very difficult to think. It is not as easy and quick to get females aroused. You have to kiss and rub on them forever to get them wet. If a woman was put in the arousal state men are so easily put into, then maybe they would understand why it's so easy for us to fall victim to suduction!