Trash-talking PNM?

[Silverblue]

Oh, how awful! If someone had firsthand knowledge of something like that, she knew she could and should bring it up. If she had shown herself to be level-headed and trustworthy in the past, we believed her. And I can't remember any member ever steering us wrong.

What did you all end up doing?

[theta sig agd]

Cut the gossiper, thats all you need is someone who will cause problems for the greek system later on by talking trash about a member of another group.

There is NO reason for a PNM to talk bad about another PNM, rush is a time for you to get to know her and her to get to know you, not for her to let you know about all the other PNM's. She sounds like she has a self-esteem prob to me!!

[AXOLiz]

Originally posted by FuzzieAlum


Oh, how I wish that was true! I've seen girls not bring it up because, "the rest of you seemed to like her!" GRR!

On the flip side of that issue, we've had girls dead set against PNMs because of something that happened their freshman year of high school when everyone else liked the girl, and usually it was something about their feelings getting hurt over some guy/friend/locker/bus seating/lip gloss issue that was really stupid to begin with (no offense to my sisters or anything, but it makes me want to gnaw my ear off when I hear "BUT SHE DID ________ WHEN WE WERE IN ________ GRADE."). While I think it's important to know if someone has a history of acting in a way that your chapter would not like to encourage (ie. selling crack from their mom's house would be a valid complaint), I would hate to have stuff that I did when I was in high school used against me, especially if it's like with some of our PNMs where they were all of 14 when it happened. My mom still complains about me at that age, and I'm 21 now.

I definitely think you should cut Jenny, trash talking about other rushees is flat-out rude whether it's true or not, but at the same time, I'd keep your eyes and ears open for issues regarding Sally's reputation if it's important to your organization. I know a lot of people who've gotten bad reputations for no reason at all, and a lot who have earned theirs, so it's sometimes difficult to separate the facts from the fiction in a case like this.

[blueyes]

I think a PNM has enough on their hands just getting themselves through the process without berating somebody else. It's definitely taboo to trash anybody, even another house she's rushed. The best thing a PNM can do is focus on the positives. Like others have said, nobody likes a gossip or a backstabber.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Cut the gossip, keep the whore.

[MenaceKiller]

I wouldn't cut either.

They're new members who could use the chance to LEARN what is accepted and what isn't accepted in the real world. I bet you all made mistakes at one time or another about saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong people. I'd give the gossiper a stern warning, and keep an eye on her from there on.

The "slut", on the other hand, isn't exhibiting obvious signs that she IS one, or else there would be no reason to need to listen to the gossiper. I would place less priority on checking up on the "slut" than keeping an eye on the gossiper. Loose lips sink ships.

-MK

[blueyes]

There are girls who call most anybody they don't like a slut so I would be careful about giving too much credence to her comment. I don't think I would absolutley cut the gossipper just for that, but I believe that remark takes her down a few notches and coming from a chapter where rush is highly competitive that would cost her dearly.

[LexiKD]

I wouldn't make a big deal about Jenny, but I would make sure to cut her. I wish during Recruitment you could say that we, as a group, don't appreciate that kind of topic of conversation and get the point across, but I would be scared that it would start a fight and she would then trash talk about your group.

The PNM in question, I would check her rec again and make sure that she is as good as the rest. You never know why someone may disklike a girl and want to ruin her chances not knowing that the behavior will ruin their chance as well!

I'm a BAD rusher, so I would probably do something wrong, that's why I am the punch girl! I always have to think ALOT before I speak!