I don't want to be a ABC anymore... WTH?

[REIKI]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
IMHO, there IS no reason to turn your pin in upon taking your oath to the organization you choose to join!!!

With that being said, I have seen "others" in organizations that have ostracized certain members 'cuz they came thru one way or another. When I saw the challenging, the tests, the neglect, the resentment, the hurt, the anger hurled at these members, not to mention that it IS hazing as defined by the NPHC, it broke my heart... But no one ever told these folks to remember what was the "REASONS" why they joined... And those reasons change from time to time, chapter to chapter and life circumstances to livelihood...

Remember, why do folks leave the Church, Mosque, Temple or Shrine?

Maybe 'cuz we live in a pluralistic society and several folks died so that some folks can BE flaky like dat... I dunno...

I think we can all say that our committment to some things are extremely limited... Just look at the Untied States divorce rates... Look at the increases in children caught up into the foster care system 'cuz their folks wanted other thangs... Shoot, if a mamma cain't be committed to her child, then dayum, how can we ask someone be committed to our organizations?

Which leaves me to leap and bound to the fact, that all the HBGLO's in the NPHC were formed during a time of oppression and that our relevance is being tested today by the mere fact of how all of our intake processes have had to change...

So some ippy dippy interest rolls upto us half-baked and makes MIP (today as required by Nationals) then flakes out and turns in her 'nalia 'cuz she wasn't strong enuf relative to our foremothers... Then... What??? Maybe, IMHO, we need to do our own private investigations and research bout flossy assed negroes... 'Cuz I'm tired of the faked funkers! It's time to find those who can step... Hopefully UP!

It is strange that you should say such a thing. I hope you do not take offense by this...and I will probably be banned from the forum..but I hope you get to read this...I find it odd that time and time again I have read about members "bouncing" so to speak over trivial reasons and that it's time to do this and that, time to up the quality of membership, then when one applies, and this probably sounds self-absorbed, but oh well, when one applies, she is looked over because her "strength" is unsettling, or somehow causes those with the power to grant her membership to believe that because she is so outspoken about certain issues, she will indeed be the one to "flake out" so to speak. It is just odd to me. Even though I have read time and again that chapters are different, it just doesn't seem to justify a "quality" prospect that does "step up" by adhering to you public policy being unjustly overlooked then have one that got in "flake out" and walk

[DableST_1]

When I was in high school, my close friend and I ALWAYS talked about becoming greek. She wanted to be an AKA, and I always wanted to be a Delta. Yeah I guess you could call us in "in the closet greeks, throwing up the signs, doing the call, making up strolls, (and I am pretty sure there were a LOT of you that have done this so don't even front anyway. She tried for AKA THREE times, and FINALLY got chosen the third time. I was SO happy for her b/c I knew how bad she wanted this, and she was happy for me when I finally made it as well. Although we BOTH truly LOVE our organization....she took it to a NEW level. I mean she had AKA plates, spoons, cups (actually it was a set,) She had an AKA bathroom (with the towels, the mat, and I don't even know where she got this from or if she had it made, but she even had an AKA SHOWER CURTAIN Her ENTIRE house was Pink and Green, her closet consisted of Pink and Green, she even had a pink and green cover for her bible. I have NEVER in my life seen so much pink and green. This was about 4 years ago. Well I went to go visit her and all of that stuff is GONE, and I couldn't understand why. she told me that she knew in her heart that the love she had for AKA was wrong. By that she meant, she would devote more time to her sorority then God. She said as much as she hate to admit it "she worshiped AKA" Now she said that she prayed about it, and she felt that she needed to reevaluate the situation and the love she had for her organization. I told her that it's o.k. to love something that you worked hard for (and believe me ya'll she WORKED HARD for AKA) but she told me this is true, but something is wrong when you realize that you are doing more work for AKA, Delta, or any other organization EACH and everyday, but don't do any thing for God or God takes the back burner. I mean just going to church every Sunday ain't gon cut it. She also said that she would pray every night and ask god to allow her to become a member she was involved in a lot of church activities, (president of this, chairperson of that etc), and after he granted that for her, she gave up her positions in the church and isn't involved in church activites like she used to and she doesn't pray no where near as much as she used to when she was asking to be accepted into the oraginzation) and she spent more time with AKA then going to church, spending time with her family, and she even lost a couple of friends because of this ordeal. She wouldn't hang out with them anymore because she wanted to be with her SORORS all the time. and it was putting a strain on her marriage.

Now with this Particular situation, I think she should have stepped away. I mean I love me some Delta, but I am not,
I repeat NOT going to allow it to affect my friends, family, and my relationship with God. I think everyone's situation is different.
That's just my Humble Opinion.

AND I'm OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AKA2D '91]

I'm going to reply to Reiki. Soror may and may not come back and reply in her own UNIQUE way, but in the MEANTIME...

1. I don't think you'll get "banned" JUST YET...

2. Just because someone is "outspoken" doesn't necessarily equate that person with possessing STRENGTH...Because some people can talk a good game, but that's it. ( Can we say "hot air"). (Boooooooooo!)

3. I'm sure the practices of ALL organizations are odd, when one is on the OUTSIDE looking IN.

4. The only way a person will know the INTERNAL dealings of an organization is when he or she becomes a member of X,Y, OR Z. Meaning that I do not expect a non-member to understand the differences within our own organizations.

5. An outsider will have his or her beliefs as to what justifies this or what justifies that, but again, what a non-member thinks does not make the Greek World turn. What a non-member speaks about will not be discussed at our regional conferences this Spring. What a non-member sees as the truth, the way and the light will not mean diddly squat at Boule in July.

I'm sure it's safe to say that this is not limited to our organization. I do not think that non-member's ideals are placed on agendas, etc of the other 8 organization's "to do" list. If I am wrong, would a member of that organization please correct me?

This is not a thread about GAINING membership, nor will it go there. The POW tells you we don't discuss that. If there is an issue take it up with THAT chapter. Contrary to popular belief, we (Graduate and Undergraduate chapters of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Incorporated) do not operate ENTIRELY the same way.

[REIKI]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
I'm going to reply to Reiki. Soror may and may not come back and reply in her own UNIQUE way, but in the MEANTIME...

1. I don't think you'll get "banned" JUST YET...

2. Just because someone is "outspoken" doesn't necessarily equate that person with possessing STRENGTH...Because some people can talk a good game, but that's it. ( Can we say "hot air"). (Boooooooooo!)

3. I'm sure the practices of ALL organizations are odd, when one is on the OUTSIDE looking IN.

4. The only way a person will know the INTERNAL dealings of an organization is when he or she becomes a member of X,Y, OR Z. Meaning that I do not expect a non-member to understand the differences within our own organizations.

5. An outsider will have his or her beliefs as to what justifies this or what justifies that, but again, what a non-member thinks does not make the Greek World turn. What a non-member speaks about will not be discussed at our regional conferences this Spring. What a non-member sees as the truth, the way and the light will not mean diddly squat at Boule in July.

I'm sure it's safe to say that this is not limited to our organization. I do not think that non-member's ideals are placed on agendas, etc of the other 8 organization's "to do" list. If I am wrong, would a member of that organization please correct me?

This is not a thread about GAINING membership, nor will it go there. The POW tells you we don't discuss that. If there is an issue take it up with THAT chapter. Contrary to popular belief, we (Graduate and Undergraduate chapters of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Incorporated) do not operate ENTIRELY the same way.

2. Just because someone is "outspoken" doesn't necessarily equate that person with possessing STRENGTH...Because some people can talk a good game, but that's it. ( Can we say "hot air"). (Boooooooooo!)


My exact words were:

then when one applies, and this probably sounds self-absorbed, but oh well, when one applies, she is looked over because her "strength" is unsettling, or somehow causes those with the power to grant her membership to believe that because she is so outspoken about certain issues, she will indeed be the one to "flake out" so to speak.


so...I'm not sure what you meant by that, but I will leave it alone...


3. I'm sure the practices of ALL organizations are odd, when one is on the OUTSIDE looking IN.

I'm even more not sure what you meant by that, since I was referring to AKA_Monet's comment about the quality of membership and how in her opinion that "quality" is lacking and simply saying that in my opinion, as an "outsider" perhaps that is the problem with people "bouncing" as soon as they graduate or "see the light"...but I will also leave my comment at that...

4. The only way a person will know the INTERNAL dealings of an organization is when he or she becomes a member of X,Y, OR Z. Meaning that I do not expect a non-member to understand the differences within our own organizations.

Since it has been said time and again that members bounce for various reasons and that quality is "lacking", I as an "outsider" did not see that as an "inside" dealing since it is a very well noted public fact, that is why I commented.

5. An outsider will have his or her beliefs as to what justifies this or what justifies that, but again, what a non-member thinks does not make the Greek World turn. What a non-member speaks about will not be discussed at our regional conferences this Spring. What a non-member sees as the truth, the way and the light will not mean diddly squat at Boule in July.

What a non-member thinks does "make the Greek World turn", because it is former "non-members" that make up the "greek world", that is all I was referring to. I don't know anything about your conferences, so I am not sure where that came from, but I will leave my comments as such.

I made no comments concerning membership, nor had I any intent of taking it there..I am assuming you were referring to me since you replied to me, but if not, my apologies.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by REIKI



I made no comments concerning membership, nor had I any intent of taking it there..I am assuming you were referring to me since you replied to me, but if not, my apologies. [/B]

I'm LMAO. The entire post was in regards to MEMBERSHIP.




I had to get a smilies for this one.

Since I'm a Special Education teacher, I have to remember that I need to "water things down" sometimes...
There are not any MEMBERS of organizations soliciting the ideas of non-members to handle THEIR business.

[REIKI]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91



I'm LMAO. The entire post was in regards to MEMBERSHIP.




I had to get a smilies for this one.

Since I'm a Special Education teacher, I have to remember that I need to "water things down" sometimes...
There are not any MEMBERS of organizations soliciting the ideas of non-members to handle THEIR business.

I'm still not following you, so perhaps I am a bit slow today. I will leave it be. Peace...

[CrucialCrimson]

Personally I would rather have someone own up to abandoning their organization and renounce than remain inactive for 20, 30, 40 years!

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by CrucialCrimson
Personally I would rather have someone own up to abandoning their organization and renounce than remain inactive for 20, 30, 40 years!

hmmmmmmmm! scratching my head

Another way of looking at things.

[Happydaysf91]

People are going to do what they want to do.... We are not going to change them at all.....

People have their own reason for being inactive and/or rejecting their letters. I stop listening a long time ago..... (not saying that the reasons aren't good.... ) I understand the religious reason given by two GC members regarding their friends; however, why can't one just adjust (I spend a lot of time on my job (I'm an attorney), but hey...I'm not going to quit)....the same with the individual who was just plain 'tired' of the 'system'......why not try to change it (and change is not going to happen over night).

Just my .08 cent. I'm not going to go so far and say that these people shouldn't have been made....that's not my place to say (especially not in such an open forum). And no matter how we 'improve' the system, we are going to still have people that 'fall' through the cracks. This happened pre-90 as well as post-90. People don't wear their future plans or intentions on their forehead at Rush. If they did, a lot of people wouldn't have been made in the first place (a whole lot of them....sorors who were in attendance at Boule' 2000, check the statistics.....they were eye-opening. If you need the numbers, hit me up!).

[ZChi4Life]

Originally posted by CrucialCrimson
Personally I would rather have someone own up to abandoning their organization and renounce than remain inactive for 20, 30, 40 years!

I agree with this b/c think about it....why do you join an org (any org) in the first place? To be ACTIVE, right? At least that should be the intention. So I feel like yes, you are supposed to be a member for LIFE, but if you aren't doing anything (and don't plan on ever doing anything), why should you remain a member (for LIFE)?
This leads me to one reason I think someone would leave their org. Basically, some folks don't see themselves EVER being involved like they know they should be. I have had some experiences in my own sorority where this has happened. To me, it's a really lame excuse, but hey, some people just suddenly wake up and see that they are just WAAAAAY too busy to be in the org. Uh yea....WHAT EVER!
Another thought I had... some people may feel that although this is for LIFE, they may feel like greek life is "inappropriate" (for lack of a better word) after undergrad. Ya know, some people may just wake up and say "why am I involved in this again? I'm too old for this." For those of us that are very involved and LOVE our orgs, that sounds ridiculous. But it's very possible that the older some get, they may feel like it's not the thing to do anymore. **However, as we know, there are those that LOVE their orgs even MORE as they get older.** Go figure! Different strokes for different folks.

Overall, I just think if someone is NEVER going to live up to the oath, pledge, etc that they took and be ACTIVE, then why should they continue to be a member? I don't know. Looking at it from a *President's* perspective (), if you aren't going to live up to what you pledged to do and you KNOW that for fact, then "good-bye...you are the weakest link"

peace

[CrucialCrimson]

Just to put it in context, I've been reclamation chair for the past four years so I'm a little prickly on the subject so my views may soften when I transition out of that office! Right now my motto is GIVE up the pearls if you can't LIVE up to the pearls!

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by ZChi4Life


Looking at it from a *President's* perspective (), if you aren't going to live up to what you pledged to do and you KNOW that for fact, then "good-bye...you are the weakest link"

peace

LMAO, while !

Looking at it from a *ACTIVE member's* perspective....
I had to insert that, because for the last few weeks, I've seen first hand where a FEW are actually "representing" and others are not... and what others are NOT doing, is falling onto MY shoulders... I CAN FEEL YOU ON THAT sentiment . I don't know about "good-bye" but they are the "weakest link".

[AKA_Monet]

Soror AKA2D91--I concur 1908%!!!

Ms. Reiki--

The issue about vocal interests being chosen versus not has more to do with leadership abilities than talking out of turn. Leadership comes in many forms. Just because you are a hater in some respects does not mean that my Sorors do not have talents that are strongly utilized in the organization... It was probably those outstanding qualities that made a Soror of mine including the absolute minumum requirements: GPA and units.

There is also the issue of "diamonds in the rough". Maybe you lack that kind of luster, but I know many interests that shine. It is the "way" she carries herself publically. For all I know, the lady may be "closeted freaky", but if she exudes confidence, respectable demeanor and leadership in crises, then all of that can be forgiven. If you doubt it, then why is the former NYC Mayor Guiliani been lauded after 9-11??? Dude left his wife for another woman!!! It is just best to stay outta of grown folks bi'nuss...

So, it ain't about membership restrictions on trivial pursuits... Background checks are done... Just like I stated on another forum, chit gets around... We can figure out who you are and we do often compare notes with other GLO's... Don't sleep on us...

I cannot tell you how I have come to find out about folks through the web... I know when some folks intakes are and who is on line at what school... THAT is why we ask folks to be discrete. Lay low. Wait, you NEVER know...

As for

I'm even more not sure what you meant by that, since I was referring to AKA_Monet's comment about the quality of membership and how in her opinion that "quality" is lacking and simply saying that in my opinion, as an "outsider" perhaps that is the problem with people "bouncing" as soon as they graduate or "see the light"...but I will also leave my comment at that...

I ain't never said such a thing and it would behoove you get your fact skrait before rollin' in upon my Sorors accusing them of activities they did not commit...

But I will comment on your lack of comprehension since you want not to be like my Soror Ideal08 said, "think outside of the box": folks bounce out, some stuff can get hectic. Life is hard sometimes. Maybe you have been oh so blessed to have a perfect life, but some folks don't have it like that and come up on hard times... Some folks become disenfranchised. They joined in something they weren't prepared for and life just put stones in the road... Who knows. But for whatever reason, we live in America and we have right to change our mind no matter what consequences ensue. Not everything can be laid out neatly all the time... That is the process of maturity. That is why folks get old with gray hairs. I dunno...

Haters have no baring on who is in our organizations or not. So they don't make our worlds turn. Life circumstances may, but haters don't. And if a hater rolls up into my Sorority claiming we did this, that or the other before a Rush, after the investigations as painful as they are, I know for a fact my Sorority will prosecute a hater and they will never become a member... That has happened and there will be a lawsuit against a hater soon on my coast... So don't every think that if you speak foully about my Sorority or any other that you won't be marked for automatic exclusion... 'Cuz my best friend is a part of another BGLO sorority and just asked me about a woman and how she hated on BGLOs while in college... YES, this is a grad/alumni chapter. YES, we do compare notes, often...

This is my $1908 cents worth.

AKAMonet, Ph.D.

[REIKI]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Soror AKA2D91--I concur 1908%!!!

Ms. Reiki--

The issue about vocal interests being chosen versus not has more to do with leadership abilities than talking out of turn. Leadership comes in many forms. Just because you are a hater in some respects does not mean that my Sorors do not have talents that are strongly utilized in the organization... It was probably those outstanding qualities that made a Soror of mine including the absolute minumum requirements: GPA and units.

There is also the issue of "diamonds in the rough". Maybe you lack that kind of luster, but I know many interests that shine. It is the "way" she carries herself publically. For all I know, the lady may be "closeted freaky", but if she exudes confidence, respectable demeanor and leadership in crises, then all of that can be forgiven. If you doubt it, then why is the former NYC Mayor Guiliani been lauded after 9-11??? Dude left his wife for another woman!!! It is just best to stay outta of grown folks bi'nuss...

So, it ain't about membership restrictions on trivial pursuits... Background checks are done... Just like I stated on another forum, chit gets around... We can figure out who you are and we do often compare notes with other GLO's... Don't sleep on us...

I cannot tell you how I have come to find out about folks through the web... I know when some folks intakes are and who is on line at what school... THAT is why we ask folks to be discrete. Lay low. Wait, you NEVER know...

As for

I ain't never said such a thing and it would behoove you get your fact skrait before rollin' in upon my Sorors accusing them of activities they did not commit...

But I will comment on your lack of comprehension since you want not to be like my Soror Ideal08 said, "think outside of the box": folks bounce out, some stuff can get hectic. Life is hard sometimes. Maybe you have been oh so blessed to have a perfect life, but some folks don't have it like that and come up on hard times... Some folks become disenfranchised. They joined in something they weren't prepared for and life just put stones in the road... Who knows. But for whatever reason, we live in America and we have right to change our mind no matter what consequences ensue. Not everything can be laid out neatly all the time... That is the process of maturity. That is why folks get old with gray hairs. I dunno...

Haters have no baring on who is in our organizations or not. So they don't make our worlds turn. Life circumstances may, but haters don't. And if a hater rolls up into my Sorority claiming we did this, that or the other before a Rush, after the investigations as painful as they are, I know for a fact my Sorority will prosecute a hater and they will never become a member... That has happened and there will be a lawsuit against a hater soon on my coast... So don't every think that if you speak foully about my Sorority or any other that you won't be marked for automatic exclusion... 'Cuz my best friend is a part of another BGLO sorority and just asked me about a woman and how she hated on BGLOs while in college... YES, this is a grad/alumni chapter. YES, we do compare notes, often...

This is my $1908 cents worth.

AKAMonet, Ph.D.

Perhaps there was a misunderstanding, in both directions. I have never applied to Alpha Kappa Alpha...and I am not sure if you were calling me a "hater" or not, so I will not wrongly presume so, though if you were, you are far from right. I'm even more not sure where you are coming from with all the other comments you made, and I don't mean that to be facetious either since as I stated I have NEVER applied to Alpha Kappa Alpha. If you would like to know who I am...I will gladly send you a private e-mail. That is not an issue for me. I haven't accused your sorors of anything on this board yet. I responded to your comment and offered my opinion on why some people may "bounce" or not stick around... i.e. quality of membership. That was not an accusation of any sort, that was my analysis of the situation as presented in subsequent posts leading up to yours. "Think outside of the box"? I am not sure exactly what "box" you feel I've placed myself in, but I commented solely on the situation(s) presented in this thread...nothing more...I believe this thread began as "I don't want to be an ABC anymore" and some people listed reasons why some members bounced, so the other things you mentioned...I wouldn't know about since I am not an AKA intrestee. Perhaps then I should not post here, since it doesn't seem that freethinkers are welcome...

Peace.

[ChaosDST]

Many people are not disenchanted with the organization and its founding principles, but with their chapter and what they had to go through to become a member or go through to maintain membership. Further, people use their religious convictions to judge the actions of INDIVIDUALS within the organization, as opposed to choosing to associate themselves with those members who most closely follow the ideals of the founders---our organizations (even the smaller ones) are too huge to take the actions of some and disassociate ourselves with the whole.

People have been known to "depledge" themselves...which goes deeper than disassociating themselves---this means that they do not acknowledge that they were EVER a member and try their best to forget everything they've learned. I agree that once a member always a member TECHNICALLY, but now we have a bunch of people running around with some of the same knowledge of these organizations that we have, but not claiming the organization AT ALL. I think I'd rather someone not claim the org. AT ALL, as opposed to having 'nalia on their car, but being inactive and running the other way or not speaking when another member of the org. speaks to them.