Words of Wisdom from a Beloved Founder. . .Thoughts Anyone?

[Peace]

411-

Excellent and interesting.

Three_Love-

I think she meant "If you are JUST trying to hold a high office in the org" I think what she (411) was explaining, is those folks who only what to hold leadership position (lead all the time, but don't want to follow some of the time). Like someone saying (I will be an usher only if I am The Head Usher). LOL

[the411]

Leave it to a #3 (Three_Love) to refute so eloquently!

Points taken. But I stand firm to my opinions. Let me shed more personal insight:

FINANCIAL vs. NON-FINANCIAL
My point merely is that it is NOT sisterly to make judgements about a person's committment to Delta based on whether or not she's financial. Yes, we came up with the dues to pledge, but no one has a CLUE how a prospective got that money--perhaps it was a gift. Once we leave undergrad, situations can change--sometimes DRASTICALLY. Unlike many of my sorors, I had to put myself through college and use work-study money to provide all my personal and academic needs AND to send change home to my DESTITUTE family in Mississippi. So, when I graduated, I didn't have the resources necessary to do everything I NEEDED to do, much less what I wanted to do. My first 2 months out of college, I went from floor to floor and sofa to sofa until I could scrape up enough money for a 1-room EFFICIENCY of my own (I still live there, by the way)! Also, I didn't have a car then and I still don't. Believe me-- paying dues for DST was/is the LAST thing on my mind because my list of priorities has greatly shifted over the last 3 years. Sometimes I can barely afford to put change into the collection plate at church! On top of that, I had to take care of an HIV+ brother who had ZERO medical insurance (and whom I couldn't claim on mine). At the time, I made just a few cents over 20K a year (before taxes/deductions). So you tell me--was I still OBLIGATED to make DST a priority? And, without even bothering to ask what my financial situation was/is, I was/am judged as non-committed (never mind the fact that I hate not being able to live up to my obligation to the sorority) . Those floors and sofas I slept on--NONE of them were those of a Soror! None of the sorors who knew me offered a helping hand--only criticism. This brings me to my next point...

ATTENDING MEETINGS
Firstly, since I don't have a car, I have transportation issues. Some folks say, "just call me and I'll pick you up," but you wouldn't believe how many didn't mean it. Also, having already endured a s**tload of criticism and dirty looks about not being financial and having sorors (who don't know me from Adam) treat me unkindly because of what they HEARD about my alleged non-commitment to DST, I found alumnae chapter meetings to be rather unwelcoming and uncomfortable... FOR ME. I really do feel you about going to the meetings for what I'm there for as a Delta, BUT-- it's not easy to do that when you're constantly reminded (rather openly and rudely) that "you can't vote on an issue because you aren't financial" or that "you can't do this/participate in that because you're not financial." When going to chapter meetings becomes a dread, then it's time to step back. So, I looked at myself as an individual and asked "How can I still uphold the virtues and play a role without having to deal with the drama, discrimination, and outcasting?" I concluded that my TRUE obligation to Delta Sigma Theta involved SCHOLARSHIP, LEADERSHIP, and SERVICE-- not money. Yes-- the Sisterhood has many bills to pay and needs money to successfully carry out business and projects. If I could give the org a million bucks, I would! But, I also have obligations--financial needs that I NEVER thought (when I pledged in '97) that I'd have to be responsible for. I always saw myself as Miss Dedicated when it came to Delta, but let's face it-- S**t Happens, and I just haven't been capable of doing everything I want to do. So, I've chosen to commit myself to my church and to public service via individual effort-- you know, like when we were trying to make line? Too often, we use DST as the channel through which we do public service, forgetting that when we were pursuing membership, we did service on our own. I feel good about who I am because--5 years later-- I can honestly say that I am STILL doing my individual public service. How many ACTIVE sorors do you know who can HONESTLY say the same? It's easy to throw on a Delta t-shirt and join the gang one Saturday at a Habitat house, but it takes a TRULY DEDICATED SOROR to go out there by herself, in her own name, not in Delta's. THAT'S the kind of Soror I am! I used to enjoy moderating this forum because I'm an EXCELLENT writer and because I know that I am very approachable--not the kind of Soror who is "above" the prospectives who have questions/concerns. However, some folks feel I shouldn't have this role because I'm inactive--never mind the fact that I'm friendly, very easy to talk to, and considerate of the anxieties of interested ladies. My philosophy is this: With all the stress and obstacles that I HAVE to confront in my life on a daily basis, it would be rather foolish of me to willingly endure MORE of it when/if I don't necessarily have to. I refuse to go somewhere where I'm mistreated-- I just don't need any more on my plate. Active sorors shouldn't ostracize but INCLUDE. Be welcoming, not discouraging, and maybe non-financial members wouldn't be so apprehensive about attending meetings/events.

HOLDING HIGH OFFICES
My point here is simply this: If your primary goal is to have a fancy title within the organization, then Delta is simply not the place for you. We've had (and still have) some PHENOMENAL leaders within the 'Hood, but ultimately, a leader has to be a team player, too-- one who remembers that we're all sisters. I know people who've wanted to be chapter president just because it looks great on a resume and not because they were competent or because they welcomed the challenges of that leadership position. Some people are so self-oriented, that they only want to be in certain positions because they want to do things their way, thus losing site of the goals of the Sorority and turning a deaf ear to the voices of her members. Some sorors acquire certain positions solely as a means of making themselves marketable for other endeavors, like running for political office. This is fine and dandy, if and only if those individuals are committed to doing the position WELL as it relates to the needs of the Sorority. BUT let's be honest, sometimes it's simply not about Delta and, as a result, jobs are half-done, if done at all. Delta Sigma Theta does not need title-holders-- she needs LEADERS and LABORERS.

STROLLING TO CERTAIN SONGS
I didn't say that it's OKAY to step/strut to inappropriate music. I am saying that it's a waste of time to dwell on such issues to the point of ignoring the business at hand. There are many chapters and individual members who totally ignore protocol; once you lay the ground rules, I feel you've done your part. We can't make people change, as much as we'd like to. I have seen this topic (and the debate thereof) monopolize an entire meeting, taking precedence over more pressing items on the agenda. All I'm saying is that we need to stay focused. It IS sad that some Sorors feel comfortable stepping to "Doo Doo Brown" but it's even sadder when sorors fight and bicker about it to the point of making public spectacles of themselves and/or not getting any important business done.

IN CONCLUSION
I do not plan to stay here very long, so I know I'll soon join an alumnae chapter when I get situated. Once the Lord aids me in fixing my financial situation, I guarantee I will do all that is expected and required of me and then some. But, the main point I'm trying to make is that some sorors lack compassion and understanding. We extend helping hands to poverty stricken families, the illiterate, and the sick, but we don't do the same for our own sorors who may be in need. Instead, we poke fun, draw negative conclusions, and/or ostracize. Yes, there WILL be conflicts and disagreements within any organization of this magnitude, especially one boasting such strong-willed women as are Delta Women. But, we can't use that as a crutch or an excuse for pettiness and disrespect towards one another.

Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, INNNNNCORPORATED has made some absolutely OUTSTANDING accomplishments (too numerous to count) over the last 89 years. I still, and always will think her to be THE BEST Sorority on the face of the planet! However, there is always room for growth and improvement. We need to be willing to acknowledge both the strengths and the weaknesses within the organization AND within ourselves. I know that I am far from perfect and that each and every day is a learning/tweaking/polishing experience for me as I journey toward perfection. For me, I will not be perfect until the day that I die, for only then can I NOT get any better; only then am I all that I can be. As Deltas, we need to work toward doing/being our best each and every day. Every day, we should put effort toward living up to our virtues. And, we need to do this both in the way we act and in the way we treat each other-- active or inactive. We're ALL Deltas. Let's not show more compassion and benevolence toward the needy (via public service) than we do toward our own sisters. If we treated each other like the FAMILY that we are, I have no doubt that the pettiness, egotism, and regression would disappear.

And I'm Out!!!

[treblk]

Soror 411,
Though I don't know your situation I empathize with you for we've all had trying times in our lifes that have made it difficult to stay commited to Delta. I was at the same event in DC where Soror Boyd said Delta is a VERY Expensive commitment and she aint never lied , but there are situations in our lives that prevents
us from meeting that pledge.

Because every we as Sorors loves Delta in our own way, we tend to say and do things to other Sorors with out realizing the magnatude of our action. I have to say that I've seen, heard, adn experienced some of the things you seem to have gone through. But Not all Sorors and situtations will be like that. Have Faith.

ok that's my $.03

[4everDST]

"When I look at you, I see myself. If my eyes are unable to see you as my sister, it is because my own vision is blurred...certianly!

I think this little statement says a lot! A great deal of what has been posted is food for thought. When we speak to SISTERHOOD, and all those things we hold dear within the Sorority (Sorors please read between the lines)all those things we hold dear within the Sorority, we ALL need to take a good looooooong look deep within ourselves. We speak to prospectives anout humility, yet we ourselves have trouble being humble and compassionate one to another. The past year of my life has taught me to be humble. A few things happened in my life to knock me off my HAUGHTY & HIGH horse.

Public Service begins at HOME. If I may be so bold as to pose a few thought provoking questions:

We have Sorors that are going through rough times:
*financial problems
*drug abuse
*domestic abuse
*alternate lifestyles (not that that's a problem)
*homelessness
*depression

I could go on and on. Do we step on theses Sorors, gossip about their issues, or really reach out to them? When was the last time you asked someone"How are you doing" and really gave a kitty, or really took the time to listen to their response.

Just my $1, 913 worth ...

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by 4everDST
"When I look at you, I see myself. If my eyes are unable to see you as my sister, it is because my own vision is blurred...certianly!

This quote in its entirety: When I look at you, I see myself, If my eyes are unable to see you as my sister, it is because my own vision is blurred. And if that be so, then it is I who need you either because I do not understand who you are, my sister or because I need you to help me understand who I am.

Soror Lillian P. Benbow
Past National President 1971-1975

I started to post this yesterday but decided not to because I could not get all of my words together and still can't.

Ultimately the definition of SISTERHOOD lies in Soror Benbow's words. If I call you my sister, I cannot hurt you because hurting YOU hurts ME and why would I want to hurt myself.

[4everDST]

Thank you Soror,
That has always been one of my favorite quotes. It embodies the TRUE definition of SISTERHOOD. I could never find the quote in it's entirety, nor could I remember where to find it, or who said it.....I hope that makes sense. Anyway, thanks for bringing another bit of clarity to my life.

One who knows...You NEVER know enough about DELTA!

[snuggles12]

"but there are situations in our lives that prevents
us from meeting that pledge" (committment to Delta).


I seldom post, but I had to comment on this thought provoking thread.

First, I agree that for some of us there may be legimate times when we are unable to meet our Delta committment due to illnesses, financial distress and other situations. As a soror, we should carry those who really need our help just like God carries us through troubled times (remember the poem Footsteps).

On the flip side, there are some members who aren't living up to the Delta committment, don't plan on living up to it and do not care about Delta.

Instead of concentrating on who is paper, who pledged Pre 1990 or Post 1990, pledged or MIP, alumnae/undergrad, who believes in the coleman luv and who doesn't, who was on line for a year and who wasn't, we should embrace/uplift each other.

Thank you ladies for a great thread. But I shouldn't be surprise, because we are DELTAS! Yes we are!



Snuggles #7
Rancocas Valley Alumnae - (services Burlington County of southern NJ)
12/93

[Virtual Violet]

Originally posted by the411


I agree 1913% with my beloved Soror Founder Adams, and since the topic is open to discussion, I will share my most honest, sincere feelings. In a nutshell, we spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME arguing over petty, insignificant things like:
1. having "oo-oop" as a call
2. sorors acknowledging a bond with Omega Psi Phi
3. the definition of "active" (paying dues vs. doing work)
4. appropriate vs. inappropriate songs to step/stroll/strut to
5. alumnae vs. collegiates
(just to name a few)

We talk/brag about our loving SISTERHOOD, but some of us break our necks dissin' the Sorors and the Sorority in public forums like these-- using text from private e-mails to publically bash our own sisters and/or to gain support for our own "selfish motives" and party-platforms.

We say we treasure our Delta HISTORY, but we seem to have developed amnesia about the relationship between those phenomenal Howard collegiates of 1913 and the 3 Musketeers of Omega Psi Phi.

We claim to value the hands-on public service of our Sorors, but we treat dues-payers who DON'T do the work with more respect than non-financial sorors who really want to help. (Because, of course, it doesn't matter what circumstances prevent a soror from being financial--she's just a menace to Delta if she is).

We say we're an anti-hazing organization and we criticize those who participate in hazing activities, yet some of us never hesitate to tell the WHOLE WORLD details of our hazing pledgeship as a means of soliciting respect or validating our membership. For God's sake--If you're against hazing, then DON'T TALK ABOUT IT--especially not publically!!!

I really do love Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated, with ALL MY HEART. And, saying these things now is hurting me to the point of tears as I type. But, I have to admit that I am discouraged by the lack of unity and absence of mutual respect among some members. I try to do everything I can to embody the ideals of the Sisterhood, but it makes my heart bleed when fellow Sorors fail to do the same. I have had my e-mails and forum posts spread across the 'Net as a means to make me appear unworthy of membership simply because I held fast and first to my opinions, and because those opinions conflicted with those of others. So... do we REALLY value a difference of opinion among our Sorors, or is that just talk? Is this a Sisterhood or a Fortune 500 company in which the voices of the peons ( i.e. collegiates and inactives) are muted so that the officers and exec board members can listen only to themselves?

They call me RENEGADE. I have been ostracized by sorors because I spoke my mind about how things should/shouldn't be done according to what I learned on my journey to Deltaland. I've been denied offices within the chapter because sorors feared that my leadership would mean "change." I've been scorned by sorors for not being financial, yet never offered a helping hand during my financial struggles (some of which involved me taking care of a chronically ill brother). Some sorors don't even speak to me and they ignore my "call" (leaving me to look/feel foolish in the face of passers-by), yet I am criticized for not attending alumnae chapter meetings. Am I less of a Delta because I'd rather not mingle with people who are mean and rude to me?

Just look at this forum, for instance? For those of you who posted 2 years ago when we were just getting the ball rolling, you'll recall how free and open we could be--without breaking codes of secrecy, of course. Now, it's a cheesy, playskool board on which we spend hours and hours talking about nothing-- listing favorite this' and thats; talking about TV/movies or celebrities who could really careless what we think; asking questions about our love lives; and really just taking up cyberspace. And WHY?!?!?!? Because a few bullies have frightened us into censorship 'cuz we aren't saying what THEY want us to say.

I have NEVER regretted my decision to pledge ALL MY LOVE to DST. And, to those of you who are considering membership, I still encourage you to keep your eyes on the prize, but ONLY IF YOU ARE TRULY ABOUT SISTERHOOD AND PUBLIC SERVICE.

--If you are just trying to hold a high office in the org-- we don't need ya! We already have our share of that.

--If you're insecure or have low self-esteem and are longing to be popular or the apple of the frat boys' eyes--we don't need ya! We already have our share of that.

--If you'd be easily swayed or intimidated by what older Deltas say/think and you don't value your OWN opinion enough to stand by it and express it-- we don't need ya! We already have our share of that.

--If you only feel better about yourself when you are able to put someone else down or make them look bad--we don't need ya! We already have our share of that.

Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated needs PROGRESSION not REGRESSION!

To answer your questions, Soror Founder:

" ...does it not follow that in all these years we would have learned the elemental lesson of cooperation?"
--You would think so. But, alas! 'Tis not the case when membership consists of I's and Me's instead of Us' and We's.

"Will we never grow up as an organization?"
--Not if we continue to create divides within the organization and not if we put SELF MOTIVES/INTERESTS/OPINIONS above the virtues, motto, and thrust of the Sorority.

"What have we as an organization to show for the years?"
--If things don't change for the better, we'll just have the following equation: Discension + Discouragement = Disbanding

Soror Founder Adams, I am sad to report that things have gotten worse, not better. I will continue to pray for the positive growth and success of my Sisterhood and for EACH and EVERY Soror therein--selfish & altrusitic; active & inactive; T-shirt wearer & service-oriented; collegiate & alumna; paper & real; old skool & new skool; black college & white college; single letter & new chapter; I LOVE ALL MY SORORS OF DST, even the ones who have hurt me and those who've lost sight of your mission. My sincere prayer is that we WILL discard these many divides, kill the petty differences, and embrace one another in the name of Jesus Christ (1st) and Sisterhood (2nd) so that we may come together as ONE BODY to do good for others. Isn't that what you and the other 21 wanted? A TRUE DELTA SOROR KNOWS THAT IT IS AND LIVES HER LIFE AS SUCH, BOTH IN AND OUT OF DELTA.

To my fellow sorors and moderators, I apologize if you feel this is too much, but I had to say it in hopes that the ones who need to read it do and are touched positively by what I've shared. We'll never get where we want to be if we keep our mouths shut for fear of what others may think.

And I'm Out!

I felt compelled to respond to some of this post. I would agree with Soror the 411, we DO tend to focus on the trivial, but I beg to differ with some points.

Delta does not suffer from AMNESIA when it comes to a ANY bond with Omega. For the record, I do not embrace the "Coleman Love" concept for three specific reasons. First is is not part of our official history, and as such I would challenge any soror to point out any bond with the "3 Muskateers" of Omega. (There were actually 4 Founders of the fraternity.) outside of the marriage (likely based on a loving and PERSONAL relationship between two people who HAPPENED to be Founders of their respective organizations). And moreover, any of the information in ISOS regarding this topic states what "might" or "probably" happened, and does not override what is in our official history, which is the foundation of Delta.

Second, I have heard alot of scuttlebut from some sorors and some Omegas that the Omegas "helped" our Founders' establish our organization. We all know our Founders' were dynamic women who were ahead of their time, and ahead of the learning curve with respect to their capability to establish Delta ON THEIR OWN. To me, to embrace "Coleman Love" as some of us believe is to embrace the fact our Founder's were "helped" to form our organization, which is something we KNOW they did for themselves. Basically, I feel this UNOFFICIAL and TRIVIAL tradition tends to get blown way out of proportion and bastardizes our precious (and official) history.

Thirdly, I disagree with the perception by SOME Omegas and SOME Sorors that they should be afforded "special" treatment because of this "bond", and will actually get upset if they don't get their due from members of the other organization. Personally, I don't believe members of Delta or Omega, should expect any extra "respect" over and above what I would give any fellow greek, and I DEFINITELY don't understand people who get upset if the "bruhs" or "sorors" don't "greet" them with a hug before acknowledging any other greek; expect a neophyte to "kick" them some history before they are embraced; or feel they have the right to question my Soror's membership on GC simply because she doesn't know the latest in Omega lingo. I'm a soror ONLY to my fellow Delta sisters, and not anyone else.

As for feeling ostracized for being unfinancial, I can't comment on your financial hardships. (We all have had those from time to time). The issue becomes being committed FINANCIALLY and ACTIVELY to Delta. What I mean by this is notwithstanding your personal hardships financially, if there is a COMMITMENT to Delta and an OPPORTUNITY to budget for a particular soror, then I do not understand why some sorors can't remain FINANCIAL and ACTIVE after their first year in the sorority.

And it rings very hollow to hear SOME sorors whine about how expensive Delta is when they are fresh from spending $1-2K to join, and then can't come up with yearly dues, visit convention or conferences or support chapter fundraisers. Oftentimes these are the SAME sorors who are COVERED in paraphenalia, hair and nails done weekly, and up to their eyes in PRADA, GUCCI, KATE SPADE, TIFFANY'S, MAC AND VICTORIA SECRET, etc. and just can't seem to make a single committee meeting.

Now I don't have much beef with a non-financial soror who is ACTIVELY INVOLVED, while she is trying to get on her feet financially. I can only hope her intention is to become FINANCIAL, hopefully within the next fiscal year, but in the same vein I don't want to hear from sorors who feel "put upon" because they didn't get their respect, when they didn't earn it by making the effort to remain FINANCIAL and ACTIVE after their first year in the sorority. Delta needs BOTH FINANCIAL SUPPORT AND THE ACTIVITY OF ITS SORORS TO SURVIVE AND SERVE THE PUBLIC....PERIOD.

As for sorors who seem to crave "respect" and "attention" for how hard they pledged, I say this....show me the date, time, and place that a soror asks you how hard you pledged once you get to chapter meeting, perform public service, or attend conferences or conventions? The point is this....the last time I checked ALL OF OUR PINS WERE THE SAME SIZE!!! All of my sorors have the same RIGHTS in AND RESPONSIBILITIES to Delta. So it DOESN'T MATTER HOW "HARD" YOU PLEDGED! For the record, I wasn't chosen for DST in undergrad, and I did pledge alumnae straight out of college, but the Sorors who brought me into the orgnanization endured some major hardships (60's, 70's, 80's) and they brought me to Delta with LOVE AND RESPECT, WITHOUT HAZING. The way you were "made" has NO BEARING ON HOW DEDICATED YOU WILL BE TO THE ORGANIZATION. We have all seen that demonstrated by the number of "T-shirt wearers" (including those who are "real" and those who are "paper) I sit side by side in my chapter with Sorors who were hazed (by today's standards) and those who weren't and we all WORK TOGETHER and RESPECT EACH OTHER.

I am also sorry my post is so long, and I am also here to say I love ALL OF MY SORORS, even when I disagree with their opinions, I RESPECT their right to express it.

[the411]

Much respect, Soror Virtual Violet, but I simply can't/won't let go...

OMEGA FOUNDERS
Yes, there were 4 Omega Founders--Dr. Ernest E. Just, Professor Frank Coleman, Bishop Edgar A. Love, and Dr. Oscar J. Cooper-- however, Dr. Just (then FACULTY advisor) was a Howard professor at the time of the organization's inception in 1911, while the latter 3 were STUDENTS in liberal arts. As STUDENTS, these 3 shared a special comraderie, from which their nickname derived.

WHAT IS HELP?
The definition of "HELP" is: To give assistance to; To aid. If I ask someone where a certain street is, and they respond, "It's 3 blocks north of here" then, by definition (see http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=help ) they have HELPED me. As we know, the Beloved 22 went into an organization that had already been established; therefore, they had no prior experience in the founding of a sorority until they chose to establish DST. SO--any HELP/AID/ASSISTANCE that was received in the group's endeavor to create the Sisterhood DESERVES to be acknowledged. If an Omega Founder did so little as to say, "Dr. So-and-So can help you do this" or "So-and-So Hall, room 13 is where you go to get that," then I see nothing wrong with admitting that HELP was received. No one is saying that DST would not exist without the HELP of the 3 Musketeers. But I personally believe that it is in poor taste as well as a blatant lack of respect to refuse to acknowledge that someone HELPED us along the way. YES-- I agree wholeheartedly that the 22 "were dynamic women who were ahead of their time, and ahead of the learning curve" but even the STRONGEST OF THE STRONG (which Delta Women are ) need HELP from time to time. The blue print for DST had indeed been drawn by the 22, but there is no shame in admitting that there was HELP during construction. I liken this refusal to acknowledge the HELP received by Omega Founders as the attitude of a radical feminist who sees no worth or value in men. Unlike black folks TODAY, brothas and sistas back then were unified; they HELPED each other because they had to in order to make it. Let's remember that in 1913, it was unusual enough for black men to be going to college, much less women. How on earth could any black woman have expected to endure hardships as a college student without some HELP and SUPPORT? Why is it so hard to accept that some of that HELP and SUPPORT could have come from MEN? Even if the 3 Musketeers did no more than act as motivators and cheerleaders during our endeavors, that's still HELP. And, it's much more than the FOUR Omega Founders received in 1911 during their QUEst for establishment. The decision to embrace a bond with Omegas because of the HELP the 22 received is indeed up to each individual soror, and should NOT be forced upon or expected of anyone. But, don't knock those of us who DO choose to embrace that part of our HISTORY--be it official or unoffical (I'll get to that in a second)--because we aren't ASHAMED that someone pointed us in a direction which ultimately lead to the Amazing Sisterhood we have today. We are in serious denial if we believe that the creation of the org involved only our 22 Founders--surely some Howard faculty, staff, and administrators would echo my sentiments. Anyone who did or said ANYTHING (eg. signing documents, making suggestions, giving approval, etc.) that led to what we now have should be given credit for their HELP!

OFFICIAL vs. UNOFFICIAL HISTORY
What in the WORLD is unoffical history?
History is history is history: "A chronological record of events, as of the life or development of a people or institution, often including an explanation of or commentary on those events." If it happened, it happened--whether anyone believes it or not. There IS a difference between RECORDED HISTORY and LEGEND, and I think this is where sorors are getting a little confused. Soror Giddings' book had to have met the approval of our then national officers, or else it would never have gone to print (at least not without appropriate editing). I doubt seriously that the information regarding the relationship between the 3 Musketeers and our Founders would have been printed had there been no validity to it. How do you think our Founders would feel knowing that some sorors choose to deny that events or conversations actually took place just because we are ASHAMED to admit that someone may have offered some assistance or because they just don't like Omegas? If it happened, it happened; and if it happened, it is a part of our HISTORY. Like it or not. Plain and Simple. Fact is, more HISTORICAL accounts/archives prove that there WAS HELP than that there was NOT help.

FINANCIAL/ACTIVE
Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. I am glad that God has blessed you with the ability to stay financial, and I hope that he continues to do so and that you NEVER get to taste my situation because it is more difficult than you could ever imagine. Yes, there are sorors who just choose not to be active, but "the411" is NOT one of those sorors. Now, don't get me wrong--for a young, struggling professional, I make it my business to ALWAYS look smashing My hair is laid and my clothes are the bomb. BUT-- I do my own hair at home (cuts, color, relaxer) and I do ALL my shopping at thrift stores. 90% of my furniture was gotten from Good Will or the Salvation Army, but my li'l 1-room apartment is TIGHT-2-DEF because I have excellent style, elegant taste, and I'm extremely talented and creative--the Black Martha Stewart. So, if you ever saw me, you wouldn't think that I struggle the way I do. My mother taught us as children that we didn't have to look poor just because we were poor. So, please don't judge a book by its cover.

Delta Love Always,

the411


And I'm Out!!!

[ladygreek]

I'm sorry but this thread is getting a little out of hand. The 411, I am truly sorry about what has happened to you. Hopefully you will find out soon that not all chapters are like the one you experienced. In my alumnae chapter nonfinancial sorors are welcomed. They are allowed to attend meetings and serve on committees with no problem. They just cannot vote nor chair a committee. Our attitude is sort of like the church that says even if you aren't a member you can still sing in the choir, etc. because being active INSIDE the church will lead to membership. We feel the same about Delta. If we keep you active then we know that eventually you will once again become financial.

The 411, you are to be commended for your dedication to service. And your family is very Blessed to have you. I hope your situation will turn around soon because it is obvious you deserve so much more.

In Delta Love,

ps: I am not going to even comment anymore on the "Coleman Love" issue. It will be addressed by the appropriate people.

[the411]

Originally posted by ladygreek
The 411, you are to be commended for your dedication to service. And your family is very Blessed to have you. I hope your situation will turn around soon because it is obvious you deserve so much more.

Merci beaucoup, Soror Ladygreek!

And yes, it HAS gotten out of hand. Perfect example of what the whole topic is about (petty differences). For that, I truly apologize. I won't take up any more space with my long-winded, verbose testimonies and refuttals. I'm sorry for getting so emotional, but for me this does topic just hits home. Still, I adore my Sorority and I admire, respect, AND value ALL of my Delta Sorors. In my eyes and heart, NO Soror deserves anything less from me.

And I'm Out!!!

[Virtual Violet]

Originally posted by the411

Merci beaucoup, Soror Ladygreek!

And yes, it HAS gotten out of hand. Perfect example of what the whole topic is about (petty differences). For that, I truly apologize. I won't take up any more space with my long-winded, verbose testimonies and refuttals. I'm sorry for getting so emotional, but for me this does topic just hits home. Still, I adore my Sorority and I admire, respect, AND value ALL of my Delta Sorors. In my eyes and heart, NO Soror deserves anything less from me.

And I'm Out!!!

Although you are so vehement about one part of your post, Coleman love. I will beg to differ with you on this point.

It is all well and good to point to Sorors Giddings book, provide the definition of "history" and explain how the Omega Founders or anyone "helped" Delta find her way. I feel that until is is RESEARCHED, and included in our DELTA SIGMA THETA history that we are taught during our process, and our PROTOCOL calls for us to embrace the Omegas as our CONSTITUTIONALLY-BOUND BROTHER ORGNIZATION, I will not embrace it. And it will continue to bastardize our history as our Founders saw it and how it is. Yes, Soror Giddings did write a VERSION of our history, and yes, some Delta "eyes" at our National Headquarters may have viewed it, but as I am sure you are well aware, Soror Giddings 1st Amendment right to free speech would preclude any censorship of its content, and that would not have been the call of other Sorors to edit her book. So simply because the version you choose to embrace appears there, does not make it the gospel with regard to who "helped" Delta "find her way" if at all.

And moreover the "help" you describe is cursory at best at this point. Anyone can tell someone where to find a document or what building to go to on campus to accomplish a goal. But I struggle to believe that without that direction, Delta would not have been founded or flourished to what she is today.

Since you feel so strongly and you choose to differentiate between Official History, Legend and Fact, I would challenge you to research the issue, produce the facts and present it in sisterly love to your sorors of the National Executive Board and the Scholarship and Standards committee for inclusion in any future versions of our official history, until then it will remain LEGEND AND AN UNOFFICIAL TRADITION in my eyes and in OUR HISTORY. The only fact as I see it presently is that a Delta Founder married an Omega Founder.

Furthermore, I strongly disagree with your charaterization of me. Simply because I refuse to perpetrate a LEGEND OR UNOFFICIAL TRADITION as our history DOES NOT MEAN that I am a hyper-sensitive feminist that finds NO VALUE IN MEN. To say that is way off base in my eyes and is not true with respect to me, and in my perception to our sorority. You CHOOSE to embrace the "bond" and our PROTOCOL AND HISTORY have helped me to CHOOSE not to embrace it. Therefore, we agree to disagree and move on. I am not posting to change anyone's mind, just to give you my position based on the facts as they have been taught to me. Simply because we are engaged in a debate, does not mean that we are being petty or bickering, we are simply DISAGREEING, Soror, that is all. I LOVE AS RESPECT YOU AND ALL OF MY SORORS.

I don't believe that any organization that has an entire Summit dedicated to raising African-American boys into upstanding men would find no value in them at all.

Finally, I have been in your shoes (and probably worse) financially once I left my full-time job to attend law school, yet I budgeted for my COMMITTMENT to DELTA SIGMA THETA, and I would challenge all Sorors to do the same. Believe me it was VERY DIFFICULT, but somehow I managed to remain financial since the day I crossed. Everyone's situation is different, and I believe I mentioned that I didn't direct my comments to your situation.

But the fact of the matter is MANY SORORS use the COST to stay financial as a crutch to remain inactive, while they CHOOSE TO SPEND THEIR MONEY IN OTHER WAYS. We all have choices, and the right to make them, I'm simply saying at some point there should be a decision to COMMIT to being FINANCIAL AND ACTIVE in a chapter.

[DoggyStyle82]

Originally posted by ladygreek
ps: I am not going to even comment anymore on the "Coleman Love" issue. It will be addressed by the appropriate people.

Not to inject myself into Delta business, but the tone of the conversation epitomizs the essence of your Founders quote. When people have an agenda, they will frequently miss the point of a well-intentioned statement for the sake of their own agenda. That is what makes "petty differences" the stumbling block that they are.

Omega has struggled with the same nonsense and fortunately, our leadership has come to its senses and realized that Omega is its Members and not the plaything of a chosen few's political ambition. Much unneccessary discord was sown by the executive directors' choice to make the "DOG" symbol a pariah in the Frat 10 years ago. 99% of the body was appalled, yet unheard. The political members wanted to make a statement rather than being fraternal. No one really could estimate the irrepairable damage intake would do to Greekdom, but it has had its most deleterious effects on Omega. It was adopted over cries of bloody murder by good brothers. Fortunately, Omega has seen the wisdom in reversing both of these divisive actions as they have seen how these policies have weakened the bond by creating "petty differences" where once, these differences did not exist.

I have been to Delta weddings where the bride was afraid to sing the "non-protocol" version of the "Sweetheart Song" or "oo-oop" at its conclusion for fear of a dirty look or tongue lashing from the "protocol police". Petty?

Why all the wailing and gnashing of teeth about the term "Coleman Love"? Because it derived from a book (ISOS) that a chosen few find offensive because it tells a story that does not coincide with their own idealized beginnings of their choice ? A relationship, real or imagined, unofficial or incorrectly perceived, has always existed between Delta and Omega long before the publication of ISOS and the coining of the phrase "Coleman Love". Why is this even an issue? It is the height of pettiness. When a Delta calls me at 2 AM and says "Bruh, I have a flat, can you come get me/fix it?" or "Bruh, one of my chapter sisters is in town, can you look out for her?", should I not extend that little extra because some people do not care for what did or did not happen in the Fall of 1912?

What your founder so eloquently stated and relates to every org, is that blind ambition and inability to compromise are hinderences to progress. Can we really see past our rigid dogma, intolerance, and refusal to understand a dissenting opinion? Arguments about terminology, "Coleman Love", real or paper, financial vs t-shirt wearer, are really about who gets to exert power over who. Do you really listen and hear how superior "financial members" sound when speaking of unfinancial ones? Sounds eerily similar to those who "pledged" speak of paper memebers. Its the same air of haughty disdain which creates a dialog that goes nowhere because "petty differences" leads to people talking past one another. As Greeks, we all need to wake up and be aware of this phenomenon. Instead of censoring conversation, can we elevate it?

Forgive my intrusion and if I overstepped my bounds in any way, please delete this post.

[Virtual Violet]

Originally posted by DoggyStyle82


Not to inject myself into Delta business, but the tone of the conversation epitomizs the essence of your Founders quote. When people have an agenda, they will frequently miss the point of a well-intentioned statement for the sake of their own agenda. That is what makes "petty differences" the stumbling block that they are.

Omega has struggled with the same nonsense and fortunately, our leadership has come to its senses and realized that Omega is its Members and not the plaything of a chosen few's political ambition. Much unneccessary discord was sown by the executive directors' choice to make the "DOG" symbol a pariah in the Frat 10 years ago. 99% of the body was appalled, yet unheard. The political members wanted to make a statement rather than being fraternal. No one really could estimate the irrepairable damage intake would do to Greekdom, but it has had its most deleterious effects on Omega. It was adopted over cries of bloody murder by good brothers. Fortunately, Omega has seen the wisdom in reversing both of these divisive actions as they have seen how these policies have weakened the bond by creating "petty differences" where once, these differences did not exist.

I have been to Delta weddings where the bride was afraid to sing the "non-protocol" version of the "Sweetheart Song" or "oo-oop" at its conclusion for fear of a dirty look or tongue lashing from the "protocol police". Petty?

Why all the wailing and gnashing of teeth about the term "Coleman Love"? Because it derived from a book (ISOS) that a chosen few find offensive because it tells a story that does not coincide with their own idealized beginnings of their choice ? A relationship, real or imagined, unofficial or incorrectly perceived, has always existed between Delta and Omega long before the publication of ISOS and the coining of the phrase "Coleman Love". Why is this even an issue? It is the height of pettiness. When a Delta calls me at 2 AM and says "Bruh, I have a flat, can you come get me/fix it?" or "Bruh, one of my chapter sisters is in town, can you look out for her?", should I not extend that little extra because some people do not care for what did or did not happen in the Fall of 1912?

What your founder so eloquently stated and relates to every org, is that blind ambition and inability to compromise are hinderences to progress. Can we really see past our rigid dogma, intolerance, and refusal to understand a dissenting opinion? Arguments about terminology, "Coleman Love", real or paper, financial vs t-shirt wearer, are really about who gets to exert power over who. Do you really listen and hear how superior "financial members" sound when speaking of unfinancial ones? Sounds eerily similar to those who "pledged" speak of paper memebers. Its the same air of haughty disdain which creates a dialog that goes nowhere because "petty differences" leads to people talking past one another. As Greeks, we all need to wake up and be aware of this phenomenon. Instead of censoring conversation, can we elevate it?

Forgive my intrusion and if I overstepped my bounds in any way, please delete this post.

What is going on here with respect to one or two of the issues raised by "the411" are not petty arguments, it is a display of two sorors who choose to disagree with regard to what our history is. I CHOOSE accept our ACTUAL history as it was taught to me. Anything else is subject to debate, which is what this is. I also chose to embrace Omegas and all of my fellow greeks with repect and love, just not in the same vein as "the411" or some other Sorors that choose to perpetuate "Coleman Love"

And I personally do not "talk down" to any soror whether financial or non-financial, and if that has happened, then it is up to the soror in question to stick up for herself and refuse that treatment. All in all, any soror who would mistreat another has missed the point of sisterhood in my eyes, whether financial or not. And any soror who would not approach another tactfully with regard to our protocol is just as suspect. Simply because some of us choose to accept the history we learned and follow our protocol, does not mean we are all the "protocol police". All people have varying levels of tact.

If you CHOOSE to help a Delta that calls you for a flat in the middle of the night, I would commend you and I would find you chivalrous, simply because your a gentleman, who is also an Omega.

But if I call you and EXPECT that you should come, SIMPLY BECAUSE I am a Delta and we have a "bond" that demands you respond to my needs, then I have a problem. That is the perception SOME MEMBERS OF BOTH ORGANIZATIONS have with regard to this entire issue. I would think that you would be just as ready to help your AKA, Sigma Gamma Rho, and Zeta Phi Beta friends (or anyone else), if they should need your help in that manner. And then to further ostracize those that do not embrace "CL" also smacks of intolerance. (not that you are)

As for the "political" members of the organization vs. the "silent majority". I can't speak to Omega's issue with the dog, but if the majority of the organiztion present didn't approve, then how was it that a unilateral decision was made? I think that was an example of the inactivity that plagues all of our organizations. If the "majority" was against that action, then it should have been voted down. The problem was that those who didn't support the directive were not present or able to prevent it, and that is unfortunate.

[the411]

Originally posted by Virtual Violet
You CHOOSE to embrace the "bond" and our PROTOCOL AND HISTORY have helped me to CHOOSE not to embrace it. Therefore, we agree to disagree and move on. I am not posting to change anyone's mind, just to give you my position based on the facts as they have been taught to me.

Good. And, I trust that "OO-OOP" never leaves your mouth and that you don't collect elephants in the name of DST, seeing as though that's also unofficial and thus, against protocol.
(I don't recall ANY text explaining the Delta call, and yet it has remained a widely accepted part of the organization. I know past AND present national officers who can hold it longer than I can!)

Soror Giddings, an Alpha Chapter Soror, didn't just concoct/fabricate a story about a friendship between the 22 and the 3. Please keep in mind that the information taught via official texts TODAY may not be the same as it was decades ago. Let's take Black History, for instance. How do we really know what happened, from the slaves' perspectives, during those centuries of slavery? We know because stories are passed down. John Singleton's movie Rosewood wasn't based on OFFICIAL historical documents in which details of the event were recorded/printed as they happened. The people who lived to tell the story were children when it happened, so they had to recollect the people and the events! So, what we now READ about the incident in historical texts is BOUND to exclude some information. But that doesn't mean it didn't happen.

That there does exists a bond? Well, let's just agree to disagree about that. But you're right-- sorors and bruhs shouldn't EXPECT you to acknowledge a bond. Me, on the other hand--I still love Omegas; I still acknowlege a bond; I'm still a Delta. A Delta who can't wait for an opportunity to use my membership and the bond as an excuse to get a big hug from Shaquile O'Neal, Bill Cosby, Michael Jordan, Wanya Morris, Steve Harvey, or DoggyStyle82 if ever I meet one of 'em!

Bruhs, if you're reading: I got enough Coleman Love right here to make up for everyone who plays by the rules. OOP-ROO

But enough about that.

And, I'm glad your goal was/is not to change my mind, because as you can very well see I am as stubborn as a bull! And, you're pretty steadfast yourself--I'm glad you're one of MY Sorors! (If I were on trial, I want you to be on my side!) As for my statement about the radical feminist, that was not intended as a personal attack. I do believe I said:

Originally posted by the411
I liken this refusal to acknowledge the HELP received by Omega Founders as the attitude of a radical feminist who sees no worth or value in men.

Through metaphor, I was comparing "refusal" with "attitude." Never did I say that YOU were/are a radial feminist. I'm sorry you took that the wrong way, but I am DEFINITELY not one to make judgements about people I don't know--that never has been and never will be in my nature.

This has been a very thought-provoking dialogue. As weird as it may sound, I'm actually glad this topic came up and led to this discussion. I haven't done anything but WORK for months now, so I'm glad to have had an opportunity to write, with such fervor, about something other than academic/student affairs! Au Revoir!


And I'm OWT!