depledging and joining a different sorority

[Leslie Anne]

She really hasn't given any indication of anything. There is so little information given I don't see how so many people could come to any conclusion at all.

[ASUADPi]

My question to the OP would be, have you actually taken the time to get to know your sisters? Because it sounds like you expect people to come up to you and be like "omg your so and so, I'm xyz". Dude doesn't work that way. You have to put forth a little bit of effort.
If you aren't willing to put a little bit of effort into this, I can guarantee a new sorority isn't going to help that flaw in your character.

As for quitting and rushing again, remember that YOUR favorites were just that. Just because YOU clicked with them doesn't mean they clicked with you. Recruitment is a mutual selection process. You rank, they rank. Sometimes it matches, sometimes it doesn't.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Many girls feel that they don't fit in. It does take time. I didn't feel like I fit in with my pledge class in many ways. It took me the better part of a year to really feel like I was a part of my chapter. It took time, hanging out at the house, getting involved, using my gifts to help the chapter, etc. It came in stages, a little at a time, until I knew I was an integral and important part of my chapter.

While you might really wish to be in one of the groups that you loved, they didn't invite you back and/or extend a bid to you. You have to really think through what will be different next fall to make them WANT you. They will remember you. What is going to change about you in the next year that they will change their mind? And something has to change because they felt that you wouldn't fit into their chapter.

If you truly are unhappy then you should resign. But really make sure that no sorority membership FOR LIFE is better than making the most of what you have. Because you may end up with nothing in the end.

Originally Posted by lizz2152

In september I accepted a bid from one particular sorority. After spending a couple of weeks with the girls however, I feel I don't really fit in with my pledge class. Also when I was going through recruitment, there was one or two other sororities that I loved and felt I clicked with better.

My question is about the whole rule of the calendar year. I have not become initiated yet, so if I drop out now, will I be able to go through recruitment next fall? Or is it one calendar year from the day you dropped out of the sorority? I'm a little confused on the rule and I want to make sure I can recruit next fall.

[ZTAngel]

My school's recruitment is pretty competitive. Not SEC competitive but it's a large school in the south. There were a number of girls who went through recruitment every year who depledged the previous year. Many, if not most, got bids. My sorority took two of them one year - and we were definitely not a lower tier house. To tell her that she will never get a bid at another house is not correct. It depends so much on the school. It also depends on her. If she has zero social skills, she won't get a bid again. But, if her reasons for depledging are truly because she doesn't fit in...well, there's a chance she could get a bid somewhere else. The girls my sorority took became friends with a lot of girls in my chapter after they depledged. They hung out with us during the year and got to know us. When recruitment came around, it was a no-brainer to offer them a bid.

To the OP, you know better than anyone else on this forum what your campus culture is like. If you think you could easily get a bid somewhere else next year and you don't see yourself ever fitting in with your current chapter, then depledge.

[ZTAOnlytheBest]

At some sec schools they do

[MaryPoppins]

Well, let's just say at Ole Miss sophomore bids for women who rushed as Freshman, and accepted a bid, then dropped are scarcer than hens teeth. I suspect it's the same at Alabama as well.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ElvisLover

The top three sororities at MSU have a "once cut, always cut" for rush-overs.

Even if it appears this way, unless you have actually sat in on membership selection sessions for all three sororities (which the only way you could do this is while wearing your Cloak of Invisibility), it is unadvisable to make statements like this. "My friend in XYZ told me so" is hearsay and doesn't hold up. Your friend has no idea what may have occurred before or after her.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ElvisLover

33girl: yes, you have a point there. However, I can testify for my daughter's sorority at MSU, that this is the way it is in her chapter.

Strictly speaking, no you can't "testify" to it. As 33 girl noted, unless you are an advisor to that chapter or otherwise personally involved in chapter operations, you have no personal knowledge of the way it is with her chapter; your knowledge would be based on what you've been told by your daughter or others. That testimony would be inadmissible as hearsay.

[lizz2152]

I go to a large school, but its not a huge greek school. I'm not sure what "sec" is but its a school in the south, but not as big as ole miss or anything like that.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by lizz2152

I go to a large school, but its not a huge greek school. I'm not sure what "sec" is but its a school in the south, but not as big as ole miss or anything like that.

If you don't know what the SEC (Southeastern Conference) is then your school isn't in the SEC.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by lizz2152

I go to a large school, but its not a huge greek school. I'm not sure what "sec" is but its a school in the south, but not as big as ole miss or anything like that.

Seriously? You never heard of the SEC and you go to school in the South?

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by ElvisLover

Okay, sorry peeps! I was just basing it on a sophomore rush-over that my daughter's chapter cut due to the fact that they had cut her during her freshman year.

????? You may want to edit that....I have NO clue what you are trying to say.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Titchou

????? You may want to edit that....I have NO clue what you are trying to say.

She's trying to say that her daughter blabs private membership selection information to her, and she was trying to act like an expert on their MS rules.

[AZTheta]

ElvisLover, your join date suggests that you're fairly new to GC. I don't know if you were in a GLO when you were in college, have been a long-time lurker who recently joined GC, or if you are here secondary to your daughter's membership in a "top three sorority" at MSU. It matters not to me, other than it is a frame of reference in understanding where someone is coming from when they post.

Either way, a good rule of thumb to stay out of hot water around these parts: please don't comment on membership selection or repeat things that you've been told, but have no first-hand knowledge about or have not personally experienced. What happens all too often is that myths get perpetuated, or misinformation gets passed off as fact, and it's damaging in all sorts of ways. No one should be posting information related to MS here, as it is likely that the person/situation referenced can be readily identified. This could potentially have repercussions, because membership selection is confidential chapter business, and considered by many (if not most) chapters to be ritual-related.

There are precious few anonymous situations any more, thanks to the Internet. Please take this in the Panhellenic spirit in which it is offered.

[DubaiSis]

We all have a tendency to think that either 1-all NPC sororities function exactly the same or 2-they all work 100% differently. And many times we think those things simultaneously. And many of us have been caught saying something we shouldn't have or sharing something we think is common knowledge or SOP, when it very clearly is not whether from chapter to chapter of a sorority or across all sororities. And I, for one, have also been guilty of assuming NPHC member intake or fraternity rush has 1 iota of similarity to NPC. I've learned a lot from being here, and you will too

When in doubt, wait and see what someone else says first.

But I think the variety of responses here could be boiled down to this: while it is POSSIBLE that the OP could get a bid the second go 'round, I wouldn't plan on it. Without some solid extenuating circumstances, many chapters (although certainly not all) will see a de-pledge or a rushee they cut last year as not worth a second look. If she is set on doing this again, she needs to work very hard at making herself a more desirable candidate next time. That's grades, extra-curriculars, leadership roles, friendships, spotless reputation, active social life, etc.