Is helicoptering making kids less able to socially adapt to new situations?

[AXOrushadvisor]

I think this has to do with a lot of different things. Electronics is a big one. Most kids don't go out and play around the neighborhood any more they text each other or play video games as compared to what I experienced. Kick the Can, King of the Hill and Hide and Seek in the Summer. Sledding all day every day in the snow in the winter. My kids would sit and watch tv or play video games all day every day if I allowed them. These kids, in my opinion, don't know how to talk because they always text even if they are next to each other. Can you imagine a texting recruitment. ha ha!!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

I think this has to do with a lot of different things. Electronics is a big one. Most kids don't go out and play around the neighborhood any more they text each other or play video games as compared to what I experienced. Kick the Can, King of the Hill and Hide and Seek in the Summer. Sledding all day every day in the snow in the winter. My kids would sit and watch tv or play video games all day every day if I allowed them. These kids, in my opinion, don't know how to talk because they always text even if they are next to each other. Can you imagine a texting recruitment. ha ha!!

This!

We recently hired a few temps at my company, and I was basically heading the project with which they were involved. They ranged in ages from about 19-23. One day I was just chatting with them, and I asked them if they ever played some outside game (I can't remember which one), and they said they hadn't. I launched into this explanation and told them how I basically lived outside when I was a kid. My friends and I would go out in the snow at 8am, we'd come in around 2pm for some hot chocolate and a snack, then go right back outside for the rest of the day. I told them how we'd get to the bus stop early so we could play football.. And when we got home from school, we'd just drop our backpacks on the front lawn and be outside until dinner.

One of the temps turned to me and said, "Yea, but when we were younger, we actually had the internet and had other things to do inside." A couple others nodded in agreement.



The lack of interaction with other kids (or people in general) is astounding. We've had young people come to work at our company, usually on a temporary basis, and their parents work at the company as well. Any time they have an issue or a question, they go running to mommy or daddy. I've heard parents (my boss included) turn to their kid and say, "I don't know.. You need to go ask your manager." They don't know how to communicate.

I recently met a teacher (a friend of a family friend) who was talking to me about different ways that teachers are using technology in the classroom. Another teacher at her school was using iPhones and Twitter (I believe) so that students could answer questions in class. She explained that the teacher would allow everyone to use their iPhones, and any students who didn't have one would be given one when they were in class. When the teacher asked a question, she would post it online, the students would type their responses/analysis into their phones, and she would display the discussion on an overhead projector.. Or something more technologically advanced. Her reasoning behind this is to give the students who don't usually respond because they're too shy/don't like speaking up, the ability to post their thoughts and opinions.

I argued that you're hindering the students' ability to grow in the ways that they communicate (especially because they spend so much time already outside of class staring at their phones), but this teacher defended it. What say you, GCers?

Personally, I think technology is the bigger problem here.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

I think this has to do with a lot of different things. Electronics is a big one. Most kids don't go out and play around the neighborhood any more they text each other or play video games as compared to what I experienced. Kick the Can, King of the Hill and Hide and Seek in the Summer. Sledding all day every day in the snow in the winter. My kids would sit and watch tv or play video games all day every day if I allowed them. These kids, in my opinion, don't know how to talk because they always text even if they are next to each other. Can you imagine a texting recruitment. ha ha!!

You know, this gets said a lot, but I don't know how much truth there is to it. It's got just a little hint of "I walked three miles to school in 12 feet of snow" to it.

Sure, my kids would watch tv or play vidoe games all day if we'd let them. So would I have when I was their age. (Well, tv at least. I'm pre-video games, so for me, it would have been watch tv or read.)

And sure, there are some kids who really do nothing but sit around all day and never get out. But "most"? Hardly, from what I see.

And sure, kids text more than we ever thought possible. But with most of the kids I know, that doesn't translate at all into an inability to carry on a conversation -- something they learned to do before texting was an option for them.

I'm not saying technology doesn't present challenges; it does. And with some kids it presents more challenges than others. But I do think sometimes that we adults really blow those challenges out of proportion. Kids still ride bikes, play sports, do scouts and other clubs . . . .

As for the not spending as much time just playing outdoors in general, I think there are much bigger culprits at work there than technology, but that's another discussion.

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

You know, this gets said a lot, but I don't know how much truth there is to it. It's got just a little hint of "I walked three miles to school in 12 feet of snow" to it.

Sure, my kids would watch tv or play vidoe games all day if we'd let them. So would I have when I was their age. (Well, tv at least. I'm pre-video games, so for me, it would have been watch tv or read.)

And sure, there are some kids who really do nothing but sit around all day and never get out. But "most"? Hardly, from what I see.

And sure, kids text more than we ever thought possible. But with most of the kids I know, that doesn't translate at all into an inability to carry on a conversation -- something they learned to do before texting was an option for them.

I'm not saying technology doesn't present challenges; it does. And with some kids it presents more challenges than others. But I do think sometimes that we adults really blow those challenges out of proportion. Kids still ride bikes, play sports, do scouts and other clubs . . . .

As for the not spending as much time just playing outdoors in general, I think there are much bigger culprits at work there than technology, but that's another discussion.

There was no TV during the day when I was a kid that I would have wanted to watch. There were only about 8-10 stations too. I can remember in the morning watching Sally Star but I can not even remember TV on at night for kids until the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family and they were on Friday night I think. My mother literally said to me every day "go out and play and don't come home until lunch"- not kidding.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

There was no TV during the day when I was a kid that I would have wanted to watch. There were only about 8-10 stations too. I can remember in the morning watching Sally Star but I can not even remember TV on at night for kids until the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family and they were on Friday night I think. My mother literally said to me every day "go out and play and don't come home until lunch"- not kidding.

This is completely off topic, but...

My mom and I were talking the other day about how there doesn't seem to be any shows for the whole family to watch and enjoy anymore - shows with some good, wholesome comedy and life lessons here and there. I remember watching Family Matters, Full House, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, Hangin' with Mr. Cooper, The Fresh Price of Bel-Air, Home Improvement.. And I watched The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Family Ties, Charles in Charge, Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, etc. in re-runs.

What happened to these?! And why don't they make more shows like them?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

There was no TV during the day when I was a kid that I would have wanted to watch. There were only about 8-10 stations too. I can remember in the morning watching Sally Star but I can not even remember TV on at night for kids until the Brady Bunch and Partridge Family and they were on Friday night I think.

We had three stations, but by the time I got home there were cartoons (when I was younger) and shows like Gilligan's Island, The Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, McHale's Navy, Hogan's Heroes, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch and (my two favorites) Batman and The Wild, Wild West on after school when I was older. I can remember watching all of those.

My mother literally said to me every day "go out and play and don't come home until lunch"- not kidding.

Exactly. Your mother sent you outside. (And I know you're not kidding, because my mother did the same thing.) Ditto the mothers who found chores to do when kids complained of being bored. It's not that tv [technology] kept us inside, it's that parents redirected us to something else. Computers, internet, video games, tv, etc. are just like anything else in life -- they are not intrinsically bad but children have to be taught how to use them responsibly. So, when children are playing video games instead of going outside, the video games aren't to blame. Blame responsible adults who aren't setting appropriate limits and aren't teaching better habits, or blame a culture that really doesn't support or value things like kids just going outside and playing for hours on end.

The reality is that in many if not most places these days, you won't find many parents who'd just say "go out and play and don't come back until lunch," and there are a variety of reasons, including some very valid ones, for that. We live in a different world today, and it seems to me that things like constantly playing video games are a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

This is completely off topic, but...

My mom and I were talking the other day about how there doesn't seem to be any shows for the whole family to watch and enjoy anymore - shows with some good, wholesome comedy and life lessons here and there. I remember watching Family Matters, Full House, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, Hangin' with Mr. Cooper, The Fresh Price of Bel-Air, Home Improvement.. And I watched The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Family Ties, Charles in Charge, Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, etc. in re-runs.

What happened to these?! And why don't they make more shows like them?

Because all but two or three of those shows were either too vanilla or awful or both?

My daughter loves Full House. It makes my head hurt.

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

This is completely off topic, but...

My mom and I were talking the other day about how there doesn't seem to be any shows for the whole family to watch and enjoy anymore - shows with some good, wholesome comedy and life lessons here and there. I remember watching Family Matters, Full House, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, Hangin' with Mr. Cooper, The Fresh Price of Bel-Air, Home Improvement.. And I watched The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Family Ties, Charles in Charge, Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, etc. in re-runs.

What happened to these?! And why don't they make more shows like them?

What's wrong with shows like Modern Family, Glee, American Idol (and the likes)?

[southernau]

I really like this discussion. Three generations of collegiate greek women in my family recently discussed the changes over time (50 years) of living in college. (I actually found out my mom did some pretty funny things in college that I would have never dreamed of!). Anyway, we all agreed we had similar feelings of insecurities, excitement, roommate situations and dreams while we were away at school. What my mother and I did not have was the instant technology to text, Skype, or whatever, if a problem came up. We had to handle it on our own, and seek out friends, etc. My mother had a house phone that had a time limit of 3 minutes a week to talk in a very public parlor. I had a hard-line phone in my room, but was only allowed to call on Sundays, or if there was an emergency, due to the long distance cost. Now, college kids have access to a parent (or vise versa) at a fingertip.
There are good and bad to both ways of growing up, but what I think what my daughter has had to learn, that was” built in” for my mother and I was giving things time. Time to think about problems on your own; time to work things out with people; time to get over being upset; time for friendships to build…etc. This current fluidity of information and contact is amazing, but can be quite overwhelming as well.

[MaggieXi]

Has anyone seen the documentary "Race to Nowhere"? It gives you a sense of how over programmed and pressures put on kids. Many of which say they don't have time to socialize or even go be a kid. Are these pressures stunting their socialization at a young age and then when they get to college, realizing, that socialization is far more important than previously believed.

I personally was an average student, not very coordinated so only did 1 sport, not musically gifted or anything like that. I have to say that I flurished in college because more emphasis was put on being social to achieve both in the class room and outside in organizations.

My family also didn't believe in cable or nintendo (not that I cared about nintendo because again - zero hand eye coordination). I was always told to go out and play with the neighbors until it go dark.

[IUHoosiergirl88]

OP here--I completely agree with the structured thing! I was on the leading edge of that overly structured activity driven lifestyle...when I went to college, I was like woah, free time. I wasn't sure what to do with myself!

I just recently started my first 'big girl' job and came in with other kids roughly my age (year or two older or younger) and was shocked at both how they acted and how they dressed in a professional setting. We were set up in small groups with senior executives in our division for a lunch so we could ask questions, etc. One person introduced himself by saying "Hi, I"m XXX YYY and I've never worked in my life"...I had to pick my jaw off the table! I've actually had managers and my team lead tell me they actually respect me because I don't require direction every 30 seconds. Young adults are no longer self-sufficient, it seems like

[ElvisLover]

Who remembers gathering as a family to watch "The Carol Burnett Show" on Saturday nights?!

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ElvisLover

Who remembers gathering as a family to watch "The Carol Burnett Show" on Saturday nights?!

Me, me, me, me!!!

[AGDee]

We did that "outside all day" thing until the Oakland County child killer started murdering kids. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oakland...y_Child_Killer for reference, if you aren't familiar. I was in 5th and 6th grade during the 13 month period that they found the four children. I lived in the next county but there were reports of a vehicle that looked like the vehicle they thought "he" drove (assuming male) in my neighborhood. From that point on, no kids were outside without being in sight of adults.

And, ultimately, I think that's what happened with kids playing outside. Fear of abduction. I know my kids only played outside when I could be outside watching them and that really cut in to their outdoor play time. By the time I got home from work, cooked dinner, cleaned up.. they didn't have much time to go outside before bed time. In the summer, at that time, we'd usually go swimming in our pool (I miss that pool!).

There are shows the whole family can watch together now. Back in my day, we watched whatever my dad wanted to watch. I remember The Waltons, All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Laugh In. My dad didn't like Carol Burnett so we didn't watch that. Some of y'all had a lot more channels than we did though! We only had 8 and that included the Canadian channel.

[aggieAXO]

I also grew up with no cable, only 3 channels to watch but I loved watching TV. I started watching soaps with my mom and even resorted to taping them once I was in high school. I still watch them.

I also find these days that people move around quite a bit (or so it seems). I grew up in a neighborhood where everyone knew everybody and all of the kids played together. Most of my neighbors had lived there for 20-30 years. It seemed no one moved. I felt safe and the parents felt comfortable with us being outside all day with no supervision.

I was very lucky that my mother was a stay at home mom until I was 12 and she was very involved in all of my schools activities. Most of my friend's mothers were also SAH moms, they all hung out together. Now it seems both parents are having to work and moving is quite common making it difficult for people to really get to know each other and their kids.

I also have noticed that the teenagers these days don't want to get their driver's license. I work with a couple of moms with 16-17 year olds who refuse to get their driver's permit. Heck, the day I turned 16 I was taking my driver's test and that very day got my car. I was never at home after that. Anyone else noticed this? When I asked the moms about it-they thought it was strange too!

[aggieAXO]

Originally Posted by AGDee

We did that "outside all day" thing until the Oakland County child killer started murdering kids. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oakland...y_Child_Killer for reference, if you aren't familiar. I was in 5th and 6th grade during the 13 month period that they found the four children. I lived in the next county but there were reports of a vehicle that looked like the vehicle they thought "he" drove (assuming male) in my neighborhood. From that point on, no kids were outside without being in sight of adults.

And, ultimately, I think that's what happened with kids playing outside. Fear of abduction. I know my kids only played outside when I could be outside watching them and that really cut in to their outdoor play time. By the time I got home from work, cooked dinner, cleaned up.. they didn't have much time to go outside before bed time. In the summer, at that time, we'd usually go swimming in our pool (I miss that pool!).

There are shows the whole family can watch together now. Back in my day, we watched whatever my dad wanted to watch. I remember The Waltons, All in the Family, M*A*S*H, Laugh In. My dad didn't like Carol Burnett so we didn't watch that. Some of y'all had a lot more channels than we did though! We only had 8 and that included the Canadian channel.

EEK AGDee-I read the wiki and that sounds absolutely terrifying! I wouldn't play outside either.

My dad use to make me watch Lawrence Welk-anyone else have to be tortured like this? I loved the Carol Burnett show!