Feeling really down about myself...why didn't I get asked back by any sororities?

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by ZTAOnlytheBest

Maybe because you're a self absorbed bitch.

I find your username to be ironic.

[AZTheta]

To the OP: we can't tell you why, and I'm very sorry that you decided to drop out because "it only takes one". And for you, that one was the only one who kept inviting you back but you have made a choice and that is that.

ZTA poster: way too harsh and uncalled for; not a good representation whatsoever of the classy Zetas I know and love. Maybe you are having a really awful, mean-spirited day?

[fascination]

Deleted...

[IUHoosiergirl88]

You posted on multiple message boards with your real name, who you lived with, your average GPA, what chapter your cousin was a member of, what frat your boyfriend was in, and exactly which chapters you want. Did you really think someone wasn't going to find out who you were?

I sincerely hope that you have learned your lesson, if you were truly ready to be a part of a sisterhood, you wouldn't care if a chapter is popular, because it's really about the friendships and memories.

[FleurGirl]

I'm grabbing popcorn and settling in for this one.

[gracemom]

ZTABest- So gratuitously mean. And what really floored me was that you had posted two months ago worried about a sister who was suicidal and depressed. So you post a mean-spirited post to someone who says she is down on herself and feeling rejected and tell them that they are "a self-absorbed bitch?"

You're not the only one-- it is possible to be kind and constructive in one's comments but there are way too many mean-spirited people in this forum (maybe insecure also?) who seem to delight in tearing down posters. (Fleurgirl, is the popcorn because you take some kind of enjoyment in seeing a girl who feels rejected and is down on herself be torn down further?)

Unbelievable. And shameful.

[Old_Row]

Originally Posted by gracemom

ZTABest- So gratuitously mean. And what really floored me was that you had posted two months ago worried about a sister who was suicidal and depressed. So you post a mean-spirited post to someone who says she is down on herself and feeling rejected and tell them that they are "a self-absorbed bitch?"

You're not the only one-- it is possible to be kind and constructive in one's comments but there are way too many mean-spirited people in this forum (maybe insecure also?) who seem to delight in tearing down posters. (Fleurgirl, is the popcorn because you take some kind of enjoyment in seeing a girl who feels rejected and is down on herself be torn down further?)

Unbelievable. And shameful.

I think what she said is harsh and do not think she should have written it but did you read the negative things this poster wrote about real sororities in her original posts? I can understand why people would be upset about her attitude going into recruitment and thinking that she got the kind outcome she deserved. You seem to be very judgey yourself and only write when you can point out how someone is being mean and I would expect a lot more out of someone who is old enough to be a mom.

[pinapple]

First of all, I am sorry your recruitment has not worked out the way you wanted it too. I am in no way justifying what has been said to you on this thread, but there is not very much empathy for PNMs who go through recruitement with a very closed mind, especially one that is a sophomore with out a stellar GPA. A quick search produced an average Panhellenic GPA at the University of Michigan of 3.4. So what does that mean for you? That means if your GPA was lower than 3.4, you would be considered a liability to any chapter that values academics and that is all of them. Chapters are looking for members to better their chapter or sisterhood and academics are a huge part of that. A low GPA tells the houses that you have not been focusing on your academics even when you did not have the distraction of Greek Life. They are only left to speculate that if you put Greek Life in the mix, your GPA would more than like go futher down, not up. Wearing letters on your chest does not grow your brain, improve your study skills, or empower your work ethic. You had a chapter that was willing to take a chance on you. You said no. The situation is what it is. I would tell you to put on your big girl panties, but you may want to go commando and put your combat boots on. This may be a hard pill to swallow but the bottom line is you opened the bottle and poured the watered.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by gracemom

(Fleurgirl, is the popcorn because you take some kind of enjoyment in seeing a girl who feels rejected and is down on herself be torn down further?)

Gracemom, looks like you are new here, so maybe you are not familiar with our "lingo" or jokes here. Fleurgirl was not making a comment that she enjoys seeing another person hurting. "Getting popcorn" or a cocktail and "settling down on the couch" is just our way of watching an interesting thread from the sidelines, without getting involved in the conversation.

[agzg]

[DubaiSis]

If you have not actually dropped out, I would consider this a lifeline and stick with it. You made some huge HUGE mistakes in preparation for rush, but you weren't penalized completely out of the game.

And regarding the beyond the pale comment, I would suggest she delete that post. And hopefully the qfps will do the same. We all saw this result coming and although we might agree, since we don't actually know this girl, I think it's in our most panhellenic behavior to give the rushee the benefit of the doubt. And yet, I can't help but think "I told you so."

But that being said, this was such an obvious result that I also can't help but think that this is just a troll out to ruffle feathers, which was wildly successful.

[navane]

Many of the other posters have made good points. Let me just add a "state the obvious" comment -- if you publicly announced that you only wanted to consider membership to 3 out of the 15 sororities, then it should come as no surprise that the bulk of the sororities cut you right off the bat. Why would they want to consider someone who very clearly was not interested?


.....Kelly

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by fascination

As a freshman, I was a little too overwhelmed and decided rushing a sorority would be too much for me right off the bat. But now, as a sophomore,I will be living in an apartment with 3 other girls that are all juniors in alpha delta pi (ADpi). I don't know them, but they needed a 4th roommate and we met on the apartment's roommate assignment page online. They have convinced me that greek life is worth it, although they are not allowed to really talk to me about it. I know that sophomore year is the year that girls live in the house with their sisters, so will I be missing out on that? And if I would just live in the house as a junior instead, would it be weird to be living with all girls that are a year younger than me? I don't want to sound bad, but if I do join, I would probably only want to be in a top tier sorority, either tri-delta, alpha phi, or kappa kappa gamma.But do the top tiers generally not take sophomores? When I was a freshman, a lot of the frat guys in phi kappa psi and the sorority girls in tri-delta told me that I was really attractive and would definitely get one of the top tiers, but is this not the case since I am a sophomore?I have a cousin that was in alpha phi and graduated last year, so would I have a chance there?Other than that, I don't really have any connections or friendships with the top tiers. If anyone has any experience with greek life at U of M, please let me know! Thanks!

AND

I didn't rush as a freshman (I guess because I was feeling overwhelmed) and I really regret it. I would really like to pledge either tri-delt, alpha phi, or kappa kappa gamma, my top choice being tri-delt, but do they usually not take sophomores? As a freshman a lot of the girls in those sororities were interested in me, but now they have forgotten me and will they not really consider a sophomore as seriously? Right now, I am living in an apartment with three juniors that are in ADpi (although I am not really interested in ADpi), and I have a cousin that just graduated who was in alpha phi. She is going to write me a recommendation, but I don't think they consider cousins "legacies." Other than that, I don't really have any connections with any of the sororities. Also, I will be living in the house as a junior, and most of the pledges live there as sophomores, so I will be a year older than most of the girls. Do you think this will make me feel uncomfortable? Does anyone know anything about the three sororities I mentioned and how they deal with sophomores?

Gee, Sarah, I can't imagine why only one sorority asked you back after first round, but maybe it was because no one at the two-low-tier-to-be-considered-sorority had seen or heard about your GC postings. Or maybe you voiced these same sentiments to others on campus and word got back to the sororities. Maybe. (And, in case you haven't figured it out yet, some guys will say anything that they think you want to hear...)

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

If you have not actually dropped out, I would consider this a lifeline and stick with it. You made some huge HUGE mistakes in preparation for rush, but you weren't penalized completely out of the game.

And regarding the beyond the pale comment, I would suggest she delete that post. And hopefully the qfps will do the same. We all saw this result coming and although we might agree, since we don't actually know this girl, I think it's in our most panhellenic behavior to give the rushee the benefit of the doubt. And yet, I can't help but think "I told you so."

But that being said, this was such an obvious result that I also can't help but think that this is just a troll out to ruffle feathers, which was wildly successful.

Originally Posted by navane

Many of the other posters have made good points. Let me just add a "state the obvious" comment -- if you publicly announced that you only wanted to consider membership to 3 out of the 15 sororities, then it should come as no surprise that the bulk of the sororities cut you right off the bat. Why would they want to consider someone who very clearly was not interested?


.....Kelly

Yup. Sorry Girl, you did this to yourself.

[Larkspur12]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

If you have not actually dropped out, I would consider this a lifeline and stick with it. You made some huge HUGE mistakes in preparation for rush

So, so true. I'm sorry that you're feeling bad about yourself and your recruitment experience. Bad attitude or not, it hurts to be rejected and I'm sorry you're feeling that way.

That said, I would be shocked if this were not a direct result of you posting so much identifying information about yourself across multiple internet forums which are viewed daily by many, many college students -- including, I'm sure, sorority women at Michigan.

I hope you find other ways to have a positive college experience. Michigan is a great school and you're lucky to be there. But I also really hope this makes you think twice about thinking you're "above" certain chapters. That kind of attitude will never serve you well.

ETA: If you haven't dropped out yet, I hope you stay in the process and give this chapter a fair shake.

[IrishLake]

This is a thread to remember and maybe even sticky.... what NOT to do! The interwebs is forEVAH!