under total, negative stereotypes, not sure what to do?

[DGTess]

It saddens me sometimes to see women whose sense of self-worth is set by what others think, but I recognize it happens.

In addition to suggestions you've been given, I'd encourage you to reach out to those for whom the "ideal" isn't 150 picture-perfect women. Many women may be avoiding rush, or greek life in general, because they see the group rather than the individuals. If your sisters relish their individuality, don't try to hide it.


And please don't push your sisters to an exercise routine. Making it available is wonderful; making it required takes all the motivation out of it.

Why do you feel the need to be at total? Is it pressure from a headquarters? Filling a house? Other financial concerns? It may or may not make a difference, but you have to understand the motivators among yourselves before you can change things.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by DGTess

It saddens me sometimes to see women whose sense of self-worth is set by what others think, but I recognize it happens.

In addition to suggestions you've been given, I'd encourage you to reach out to those for whom the "ideal" isn't 150 picture-perfect women. Many women may be avoiding rush, or greek life in general, because they see the group rather than the individuals. If your sisters relish their individuality, don't try to hide it.

Why do you feel the need to be at total? Is it pressure from a headquarters? Filling a house? Other financial concerns? It may or may not make a difference, but you have to understand the motivators among yourselves before you can change things.

All of the bolded.

Originally Posted by WellWhatever729

Because of this (and a few past internal problems that have since been resolved), we are now left under campus total - and we're having trouble getting girls in the door for COR events.

I guess what I'm asking is, how can we get rid of the "stereotypes" and awesome women in our door?

Noticing the issue of getting members, I realize that some women who go through recruitment tend to be a certain type. Most have an idea of a sorority and if the real thing doesn't match, they won't stay.

My chapter was one of the smaller chapters on campus, but the members who recruited me turned those "bad" characteristics into advantages.
You are smaller? Better sisterhood, easier to get to know the sisters, closer bonds, whatever.

If PNMs bring up bad reputations turn it into something good! There is a plus to every negative.

We didn't have a bad reputation per say, but just didn't have much of one. So my chapter had mandatory letters day. Letters meaning the stitched bold letters on T-shirts or sweatshirts. We also required girls to look polished (hair touched by some tool or product used no matter how straight/curly/whatever your hair was) and some make up. Not every woman wears make up, but you couldn't look like you had just rolled out of bed. The sisters who didn't wear make up usually put on some mascara and a little concealer, maybe lip gloss. This got our letters out there and had us look amazing. We were really noticed, especially when there were multiples of us in class or walking together.

[33girl]

Also, in the words of Wayne: YOU'RE WORTHY! Go out to different fraternities besides the old reliables. Of-age sisters, be visible at the popular nightclubs or bars. Participate in campus activities - including those that are bordering on beauty contests. Fat used as a stereotype often doesn't truly mean "fat" but rather "dumpy, shy and boring." Get out of your comfort zones and take risks. It makes ALL the difference in the world.

You mentioned the same girls doing everything all the time. If you have dead weight in your chapter, CUT IT. If girls aren't showing up for sisterhood events, meetings, or mixers, bring them in front of standards board and tell them they either need to show up or get out. If it's not that, but just girls who are shy and need a push - push them. Again, get out of that comfort zone.

If the school is having a problem getting girls to rush in general, probably what is happening is that most of the girls rushing ARE the stereotypical type. You need to reach out to other girls through COB and through meeting them in other activities. Once you have the members, ask your HQ for help in conducting formal rush (as in sending another chapter to help you practice). Too many groups get their numbers up through COB, then don't know how to formal rush, suck at formal rush, confidence plummets, and have to scramble and COB again. You need to be skilled at BOTH types of rush to succeed.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

You mentioned the same girls doing everything all the time. If you have dead weight in your chapter, CUT IT.

YES. Times a million.

Chapters are always SO afraid to hold girls accountable for not participating.

DO IT.

When they joined, they agreed to do ______ with the cosequence of {insert your orgs consequence here: standards/honor council/whatever} if they didn't.

Hold them to that.

Chapters always say "but if we do that, we'll be even smaller!"

Here's the thing though, the dead weight isn't SHOWING UP ANYWAY. So that extra number isn't even benefitting you guys. Cut them out and replace them with someone who will be a number AND show up.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Fat used as a stereotype often doesn't truly mean "fat" but rather "dumpy, shy and boring."

This is a good point. You could encourage women to sleep around a bit, so that you'd be known as the slutty chapter instead.

(kidding, of course)

[FSUZeta]

do you all require your members to join at least one other org. on campus? that's a great way to show others how great you all are, and an easy way to meet pnms.

[aephi alum]

Fight the stereotype. As KSUViolet said, even if a few people in your chapter are size 10 or 12, "tent talk" will be "ZOMG they're the fat sorority." (Believe me, I'd kill to be a size 10 again. ) So, represent, and look good. Have a letter day once a week, and encourage your sisters to wear letters on one or two other days during the week as well. When wearing letters (and even when not), encourage your sisters to look like they didn't just roll out of bed - you don't need to go all out and do full makeup, hair products, and jewelry (ok, except on pref night ) but at least run a comb through your hair and put on some lip gloss. And have a day, from time to time, when you wear your badges/pins and dress up. You will catch people's eyes when you walk into lecture wearing a blouse, slacks or a skirt, and tasteful makeup, jewelry, and hairdo, and everyone else is slouching in wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

As for recruitment, informal is a different animal from formal. With formal, you have short parties, lists, bid matching, a lot of rules, and a lot of stress. With informal, you can (and should) take the time to get to know a PNM in a low-key manner. Have a few sisters befriend her before you even get into selling your sorority.

All the best to you and your chapter.

[RaggedyAnn]

I'd focus on having fun as a chapter. Send out a survey to find out what kind of activities your sisters want to have and plan them. That will increase participation. If you are having fun as a chapter, and your sisters get to know each other better, PNMs will naturally be attracted to you.

[kbelle]

I'm in a similar boat as OP. I know formal recruitment is eons away, but our sorority is known as the house that would take anyone it could get, and it isn't that way anymore, but we still have that rep.

My question is, how do you encourage girls to get cute(r) for class and what-not without seeming shallow and bitchy?

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by kbelle

I'm in a similar boat as OP. I know formal recruitment is eons away, but our sorority is known as the house that would take anyone it could get, and it isn't that way anymore, but we still have that rep.

My question is, how do you encourage girls to get cute(r) for class and what-not without seeming shallow and bitchy?

Start with letter and badge days. Members are required to look appropriate while dressed in this attire. If you have weekly letter and badge days, that cuts down on the number of days that sisters can go to class looking shabby. Beyond that, it takes making your members understand that recruitment is 365. You never stop. Sure there are days that you wake up late and run to class in whatever you can grab, but making the effort pays off.

[PhoenixAzul]

I am 5'10, a five time marathoner, and I cannot imagine my body ever EVER fitting into a size 6. I'm a size 10 on a good day, a size 8 if the pants are mislabeled...but I can't imagine being a size 6.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

I am 5'10, a five time marathoner, and I cannot imagine my body ever EVER fitting into a size 6. I'm a size 10 on a good day, a size 8 if the pants are mislabeled...but I can't imagine being a size 6.

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Whoa so since I said 6-8 would be considered fat, there's nothing left but 0? No, 2 and 4 would be about normal. And that's rarely maintained in an unhealthy way. And in college, "fat" does not mean obese. It means overweight or chubby, just in general that there is more fat on the person's body than is desirable.
People who constantly complain about those of us who have realistic standards of what should be thin are the ones who perpetuate obesity in this country. You can't tell a chubby kid that they are "normal" just so their feelings aren't hurt. That's not helping them in the long run.
Also, if you're 5'6" and a toned/fit size six you probably wouldn't be considered fat. However, if you're a flabby size 6-8 then it's best to start making healthier habits. But yes, it does depend on body type. However, most people are not so curvy that a 6-8 would be their ideal size at age 19-20.

1. "just in general that there is more fat on the person's body than is desirable" Desirable to whom? I'm guessing that most women who are a size 6/8 do not "more fat" than is healthy. I know people who, even at a healthy body fat percentage (women aged 20-40, is 21%-33%) aren't sized 6/8. (Note that Body Fat Percentage is not the same as BMI.)

See PheonixAzul, for example.

2. I was waiting for the "you must be fat or you wouldn't complain about me calling people fat" card. Sorry, honey, I'm not perpetuating the obesity culture in this country. I've never been close to obese. But even if I was "chubby" or "overweight," what gives you or anyone else the right to judge? I'd rather have a sweet, "overweight" sister than a bitchy, skinny one.

Judging people solely or firstly on weight is just wrong, in my opinion. Sure, health is important, and so is looking your best, but you are seriously missing out in life if appearances are the key to your friendships and sisterhood. I have a sorority sister who has a medical condition that makes her allergic to food proteins. As in, everything she eats. She is on high dosages of steroids. She is also probably a size 14. I cannot imagine not having her in my life. If people had judged her solely on her appearance, she might not have become a member, and 20-something years later, still one of the nicest people I know.

I don't think you'll get it until you get a bit older and break out of your bubble. Life is pretty simplistic for some 18 years olds. Thankfully, not everyone belongs to that mindset. Good luck.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

I am 5'10, a five time marathoner, and I cannot imagine my body ever EVER fitting into a size 6. I'm a size 10 on a good day, a size 8 if the pants are mislabeled...but I can't imagine being a size 6.

Have you ever shopped at Old Navy? You might be a 4 at Old Navy!

I'm about 5'11", and my size seems to have gone down over the years at most clothing stores, while my radius has stayed mostly the same.

Anyway, back to the questions at hand. As 33 pointed out, "fat" often means "not well-regarded socially". So, as important as it is to get out on campus looking good, it's also important to make friends in fraternities and be seen at whatever places are popular on your campus (bars, parties whatever).

[DrPhil]

She does not need to wait until she gets older/after college to get over it. She just needs to meet more people or pay more attention to the "often ignored" people on her campus.

I'm a fan for eating healthy and exercising. I think people should do so. But, I also thought the "size 2-4 for 18-20 yo is normal" myth was debunked years ago when medical experts and laypersons began to learn about different body types and different cultural norms.

I now see why southernbell14 is so ruffled over this. She was not speaking generally about her campus climate. She was talking about something in which she is an active participant.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

She does not need to wait until she gets older/after college to get over it. She just needs to meet more people or pay more attention to the "often ignored" people on her campus.

I'm a fan for eating healthy and exercising. I think people should do so. But, I also thought the "size 2-4 for 18-20 yo is normal" myth was debunked years ago when medical experts and laypersons began to learn about different body types and different cultural norms.

I now see why southernbell14 is so ruffled over this. She was not speaking generally about her campus climate. She was talking about something in which she is an active participant.

You know what's hilarious? Many of you are middle-aged women. I can say anything-ANYTHING, true or not- and you will get "ruffled" over it. You are in your 30s or 40s. My god, please go get a life! You all post on here throughout the entire day! I am a 20 year old college student, and even I hope I do not end up posting constantly on an website when I am your age.
Half of the things I said have been fake just to make you all freak out. The other half may have been true, but I said it in an abrasive way, once again, to see if you'd freak out. Big surprise, you did.
Please, ladies, calm down and do something productive. Just because someone says something you don't agree with doesn't mean you can be rude to them. Try getting your point across in a respectful way.
I have been reading this site for a while. Some of it is good, but there's a lot where you all attack people for one thing they say. This is why I made an account.

Have a great day, and go outside, do something fun.