The psychology of sorority recruitment

[AXOrushadvisor]

Originally Posted by 33girl

As with most things, RFM was put in place partly because people abused the system. Sororities were inviting back girls they had NO intention of bidding just to cover their butts in case something wild DID happen and they lost all the girls they wanted (it never did) or for bragging rights (we had more people come back to our parties than any other sorority!).

Something had to be done for those girls who were going the whole way through to pref and getting screwed. This isn't just big schools either, it happened at ALL size schools. Yes, it hurts like hell to get released from 9 out of 12 groups, but better to find it out the first day than after a week of falling in love with a group that doesn't even know you're alive.

I think the best solution is for more schools to offer sorority preview weekends so the PNMs can at least put themselves out there.

(Large rush only) If a chapter is so "high octane" that only that type of girl makes it in rush, wouldn't the shy, sensitive girl get lost in the shuffle of the chapter if she DID make it in?

The "entitlement complex" may be worse nowadays, but there have always been girls who were Edie Everything at their teeny weeny high school (sometimes on their own merit, sometimes not) who went to a large university, rushed, and got their butts handed to them on a platter.

I totally agree with the abuse of the system and saw it first hand. What would happen if you started RFM after round 2? You would get a second and longer look at some of those women who don't light up the room when they walk in the door, but still be forced to make heavy releases?

[AlwaysSAI]

There was a graduate student at my sister's school a few years ago. She went through recruitment purely for the research aspect. She intended to publish something about it, I thought. I don't know whatever happened to her.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

I totally agree with the abuse of the system and saw it first hand. What would happen if you started RFM after round 2? You would get a second and longer look at some of those women who don't light up the room when they walk in the door, but still be forced to make heavy releases?

The problem is that it goes both ways. Doing RFM after round 2 means that the "top" chapters would do lighter cuts, and PNM's would not necessarily take a look at the chapters that take a little longer to really make an impression.

I think it is less about the numbers game, and more about the attitudes of 18-year-old women, in BOTH directions.

[ASUADPi]

Quite honestly I think the psychology makeup of today's PNM's is different than past ones. I say this because, impo, the PNM's going into recruitment today have the "entitlement" complex.

I see this in elementary school. The "everyone has to get an award" and "everyone has to be recognized". Personally I think it is a crock, because that isn't real life. It's like a football game, one team has to win and one team will lose. It's not a draw.

I think that is the problem with today's PNM's, they are so used to things just being handed to them, because god forbid we "damage" their psyche in school and not let everyone make the cheer team (who tried out).

It wasn't like this in the past. I graduated from high school in 1997 and I didn't make things that I tried out for. Yes it sucked and I was jealous of those who did make it, but that is life.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

Quite honestly I think the psychology makeup of today's PNM's is different than past ones. I say this because, impo, the PNM's going into recruitment today have the "entitlement" complex.

I see this in elementary school. The "everyone has to get an award" and "everyone has to be recognized". Personally I think it is a crock, because that isn't real life. It's like a football game, one team has to win and one team will lose. It's not a draw.

I think that is the problem with today's PNM's, they are so used to things just being handed to them, because god forbid we "damage" their psyche in school and not let everyone make the cheer team (who tried out).

It wasn't like this in the past. I graduated from high school in 1997 and I didn't make things that I tried out for. Yes it sucked and I was jealous of those who did make it, but that is life.

+1

This is what I was alluding to in my first paragraph, but you summed it up very well. The shock of finding out that you aren't extraordinary like you've always thought and been told, but that you are simply "average" in the world of recruitment.

[lilybeth3]

this is spot-on. I think it is worth a study. I also say the same ideas for people who begin college and realize there are people smarter, cuter, taller, shorter, thinner, fatter, richer, poorer, etc than you. quite a culture shock!!!!

[carnation]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Related to this is the idea that has come up on GC that PNMs will desire certain chapters because they want to be like the women in that chapter rather than the fact that they would really fit in. The ability to honestly evaluate who you are and where you would fit in well is really a challenge for a lot of young women. Getting your invites back and realizing you aren't really a ABC or DEF can be a major blow to some women's egos. How do women respond? Does she see the truth in it or simply blame the women in the chapter for rejecting her?

Trust the process is something that PNMs hear all the time on GC. The PNMs echo with "every sorority at ABC University has so much to offer"... Until they are dropped from the groups they really want and realize that the sororities that are left that "have so much to offer because every group at ABC University is outstanding" aren't what they envisioned for themselves all summer and all week. It's easy to repeat the mantra when you are "sure" you will end up in one of the most desirable groups. It is completely different when you are faced with your only options being the groups you ranked last all week. Why do some women continue to trust the process and others reject the entire system?

All this is why I started that thread "You'll End Up Where You Were Meant to" many years ago. I don't believe that now any more than I did when I started the thread because I've seen too may inexplicable results.

[DubaiSis]

I live in the land of uber-entitlement and you see it rear its ugly head in all kinds of places, but most negatively on the roads, where young locals think (probably subconsciously) that they are entitled to more of the road than the rest of us. If your car literally won't fit in a lane even when you are perfectly centered, it's too big. And forget parking that behemoth in a parking garage.

By giving your child everything they want in life (says the woman with no kids, so I know more than the rest of you - HA!) you are not doing them any favors. This may be where the average girl - smart enough, cute enough but not super duper anything - can actually succeed in rush and in sorority life where that "best girl" can't. She's never had to except anything less than exactly what she wanted, and isn't prepared to start now. And she will have a diminished experience because of it. That's too bad.

I don't know if this is new or just more apparent in the communication-laden world we now live in, but it SEEMS worse to me than in the past.

I also think there's something to consider about too much attention paid to not hurting a child's self-esteem. Of course we don't want kids growing up depressed and feeling worthless, but isn't failure, disappointment, rejection, all that nasty stuff, part of the growing pains of life? And don't we come out the other end better people for having gone through it? I don't know, but you can add that to the thesis and I'll look forward to reading it.

[KDMafia]

As with most things, RFM was put in place partly because people abused the system. Sororities were inviting back girls they had NO intention of bidding just to cover their butts in case something wild DID happen and they lost all the girls they wanted (it never did) or for bragging rights (we had more people come back to our parties than any other sorority!).

This also damaged other sororities within the system as well. When the stronger chapters aren't cutting that means that the PNMS get to do the dropping. Then, when their big cuts come in they are either left high and dry or with invitations to chapters they haven't been to since the first round. Before RFM was instituted at my campus suicide rates (for bid signing, not the real kind) were extremely high due to one of the struggling chapters inviting girls who had cut them but were invited to their pref as they had only one other chapter inviting them back.

If a chapter invites too many girls back they are also preventing other sororities from sharing their sisterhood with PNMS