When you aren't "the best girl"

[YesNoMaybe]

I know this sounds like cliche advice, but focus on your conversations. I have been on the other side of recruitment a couple times now, and most of the girls I talked to were cute but after talking to three girls over 11 to 12 parties, I don't even remember what half of them look like. I DO remember if I talked to a girl where I had a great conversation.

As for more solid advice, I agree with the above posters that you could pick out a statement piece of jewelry, or maybe as you said a cute headband each day! My fashion advice however has always been "if you have to ask if it looks good, you probably shouldn't wear it"; wear something that you will feel comfortable in and don't try a wild hairstyle/trend without seeing how it looks on you first. You can get a natural looking (SUNLESS) tan, look up what haircuts/styles are really popular for your face shape, and work out to both make yourself healthier but it will also make you happier.

Don't overly focus on your appearance though, because there are going to be prettier girls (there always is in every situation in life) and if you value your personal appearance over your personality, your going to shoot yourself in the foot before rounds with a drop in your self-esteem. Also, even if you talk to a supermodel sorority member, don't assume for any reason you aren't good enough for them.

At the end of the day, when I am recruiting girls I'm not looking to form a "hot girl posse". I'm recruiting girls that I can see myself becoming best friends with, if you are confident and sweet (but yes, at least polished too) you should be fine
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And to Loyally Kappa... While being presentable is important, people cannot control what they physically look like to an extent without plastic surgery. I hope that when you recruit girls you look for if they would fit in your chapters personality as well as if they match your nationals ideals.

[violetpretty]

One of the things that sororities want is committed members. If you end up in a sorority, is it going to be your number 1 extracurricular activity? If so, tell them that!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

OP, there are going to be far more average girls going thru recruitment than there are beauty queens. be yourself, use some of the suggestions from the above posters and enjoy the process. your writing is insightful and witty-if you can translate that from the written to the spoken word, you should be fine.

loyally kappa-really? there are just no words.....

I am hoping that LoyallyKappa is being sarcastic. If she isn't, she should probably revisit her sorority's chapter list and realize that they've chartered at quite a few un-huge schools.

[MTSUHopeful]

Originally Posted by victoriana

What?? This post completely baffles me. It seems like she has already decided she is going to MTSU and is looking for ways she can stand out, so your advice makes no sense. It actually seems like you are condescending to sororities who are not "huge." You say that if she's not a "good girl," she should go to a small school, where the "rockin' strong national sororities" don't colonize. It doesn't seem very Panhellenic of you to say something like that. Maybe I just took it the wrong way, but that's how you came across.

OP, just be yourself and be confident. Dress for success and look your best. Follow the tips the other posters have already brought up. Don't worry about tiers or reputations, join the sorority that's best for YOU and where you feel comfortable. After all, you wouldn't want to be in a chapter where you felt like you always had to be looking and acting perfect, right? Good luck

I took it the same way, victoriana, so it probably isn't just you..

And what you say makes sense. I will find the chapter that fits me best regardless of stereotypes or "tiers". Thank you. :]

[MTSUHopeful]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comic_t...Pregnant_pause

Thank you very much. :]

[MTSUHopeful]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

And you're not joining letters, you're making friends. We could spend hours on why you think you are not "best girl" but most of us are not literally beauty queens, but still have something great to offer. I for one have a charming way with humor and sarcasm () and a fantastic ability to organize. But was I Gamma Phi material (on my campus)? No. Am I sorry about that? NO. I would not have wanted to be on 24/7 and I have to think there was a certain pressure there to look great all the time.

I think as rush can be such a blow to your self-esteem, it would be very healthy for you to spend some time thinking about what makes you awesome. If you are REALLY short on self-esteem, maybe you can talk to a very trusted friend or your mother. Rush is no time to be self-depricating, but knowing which of your MANY attributes to cheer about might take some forethought. Put yourself together a play list of girl power music (I Am Woman by Helen Reddy comes to mind but there are plenty that are much more current), and write out, even if for your eyes only, what makes you great. Then burn it if you have to but try to keep the message in your heart. You undoubtedly have something a sorority wants - you just have to find the right marketing and packaging so they KNOW you are who they want.

If your concern is your physical appearance, what can you do about that in the couple weeks before recruitment starts? Maybe get a rockin new haircut, a full make over (and learning how to apply the makeup), a wardrobe overhaul overseen by someone you think has awesome taste. If you think you are not rockin it now, then obviously there's something you would like to change. So change it! That can feel like a leap into the deep end, but it might be the self-esteem boost you need right now.

Good luck!

I couldn't have asked for a more perfect response and piece of advice. Thank you for everything you said. I will take most of this to heart and really "beef up" my personality and confidence so I really shine. :]

[agzg]

OP just be sure to not make what I think of as "closed statements." The vacation example is a good one!

Even if you don't do "cool" stuff over the summer, tell enough information about what you did so that the recruiter can ask follow ups!

Ex:
Recruiter: "What did you do this summer, MTSUHopeful?"
You: "I worked most of the summer. I'm a lifeguard at an outdoor pool, and I taught swimming lessons. I really love to spend my time in the water."
Recruiter: "Are you on the swim team?"
You: "No. I like to play sports but organized sports aren't really my thing. But, I grew up on a lake, and spent most of my summers growing up swimming and boating, so being a lifeguard is something I enjoy because it reminds me of where I was raised. What do you do over the summers?"
Recruiter tells you a short story, you haven't dominated the whole conversation and have given enough info but not too much, and have told more about yourself than the actual things you did. This'll help you stick out in the recruiter's mind - "Oh, yeah, MTSUHopeful, the lifeguard that lived on a lake!"

A bad example would be:
Recruiter: "What did you do this summer, MTSUHopeful?"
You: "I worked most of the summer."

Give enough for a follow-up!

Also, this was an actual conversation I had with a recruiter in my chapter (full disclosure: I went through informal recruitment, but the conversation aspect is still the same).

[MTSUHopeful]

Originally Posted by agzg

OP just be sure to not make what I think of as "closed statements." The vacation example is a good one!

Even if you don't do "cool" stuff over the summer, tell enough information about what you did so that the recruiter can ask follow ups!

Ex:
Recruiter: "What did you do this summer, MTSUHopeful?"
You: "I worked most of the summer. I'm a lifeguard at an outdoor pool, and I taught swimming lessons. I really love to spend my time in the water."
Recruiter: "Are you on the swim team?"
You: "No. I like to play sports but organized sports aren't really my thing. But, I grew up on a lake, and spent most of my summers growing up swimming and boating, so being a lifeguard is something I enjoy because it reminds me of where I was raised. What do you do over the summers?"
Recruiter tells you a short story, you haven't dominated the whole conversation and have given enough info but not too much, and have told more about yourself than the actual things you did. This'll help you stick out in the recruiter's mind - "Oh, yeah, MTSUHopeful, the lifeguard that lived on a lake!"

A bad example would be:
Recruiter: "What did you do this summer, MTSUHopeful?"
You: "I worked most of the summer."

Give enough for a follow-up!

Also, this was an actual conversation I had with a recruiter in my chapter (full disclosure: I went through informal recruitment, but the conversation aspect is still the same).

Ooh, good explanation. Thank you. And it is amusing how much that exact example fits me and my situation. I work a lot to help pay for school and I actually did grow up near a lake!).

So thank you!

[victoriana]

I actually looked at MTSU when I was in high school and seriously considered going there. Even if you don't end up Greek, I'm sure you'll have a fabulous time. But I hope things work out for you, you seem to have a great personality

[ree-Xi]

Honestly, above all, a sparkling personality is the best accessory. Sincerity, friendliness, confidence, and an open mind are important, too.

[LionTamer]

Keep in mind that sororities DO things - throw parties, raise funds, build floats, put on musical reviews, update their websites, etc., so if you are talented or even just enthusiastic about things they need, it may be considered a plus.

What were you involved with in high school? There is actually skill and value to running the prom, making costumes for the school play, organizing a local charity walk, making signs, working on a website. Let them know that you're not just another cute girl - that you're a tutor, or a website designer, or a float-builder, an artist, a seamstress, a golfer, a pretty good cook, a carpenter, a singer, or someone who can run a meeting.

Let them know that when you join something, you have a track record of bringing something to the table. There are too many girls going through recruitment for status or because mom wants them to, or their best friend wants them to. Communicate to them that you're doing it because you want to use your skills and contribute, just like you did in high school, in your church group, or wherever.

[Loyally Kappa]

[QUOTE=33girl;2079253]I am hoping that Loyally Kappa is being sarcastic.

How could I have not been being sarcastic?

A kind nod to the moderators here (because for years I have admired how gracious to everyone you always manage to be), but for someone to post pictures of interesting chunky jewelry as "advice" just sorta rubbed me the wrong way.

[MTSUHopeful]

[QUOTE=Loyally Kappa;2079934]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I am hoping that Loyally Kappa is being sarcastic.

How could I have not been being sarcastic?

A kind nod to the moderators here (because for years I have admired how gracious to everyone you always manage to be), but for someone to post pictures of interesting chunky jewelry as "advice" just sorta rubbed me the wrong way.

I don't really see how that's a problem or even bad advice. I mean obviously not everyone would be able to pull something like what she showed off, but there are the select (and lucky) few who can wear things like that and it just works. Are all of those my style? No. Could I pull most of those off? No. Maybe one of those pieces could fit into my style and it would work, but those..

And, as I was asking for ways to stand out in a crowd.. I mean, she answered my request.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by MTSUHopeful

I don't really see how that's a problem or even bad advice. I mean obviously not everyone would be able to pull something like what she showed off, but there are the select (and lucky) few who can wear things like that and it just works. Are all of those my style? No. Could I pull most of those off? No. Maybe one of those pieces could fit into my style and it would work, but those..

And, as I was asking for ways to stand out in a crowd.. I mean, she answered my request.

Perhaps this is one of those times when you watch as the Greeks work things out.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Loyally Kappa

A kind nod to the moderators here (because for years I have admired how gracious to everyone you always manage to be), but for someone to post pictures of interesting chunky jewelry as "advice" just sorta rubbed me the wrong way.

Advice: Wear a conversation piece that's noticeable.

Pictures: Examples, so she doesn't think I mean to come to rush with a pizza on her head* for a conversation piece.


Nevermind, being sarcastic is obviously much more helpful, so I'll defer to your excellent advice.


*Does anyone get this reference, or am I officially old?