Are you a PNM wondering what you can do to "improve your chances" at recruitment?

[ComradesTrue]

While the OP could have chosen a better title for her thread, the message within is a good one. I did not find it snippy at all, although admittedly I have been on the receiving end of the "I am rushing NEXT WEEK at Bama and I need a rec written today" request that was not followed up with any kind of thanks, written or otherwise.

With my schedule I very rarely write a rec the day that I get the packet. In fact, about a week later is typical for me unless we are up against the deadline. When a PNM takes the time to send a hand written note, it reflects very positively on her. This in turn does affect the time and care that I take to write that rec. Admittedly I do put a little more effort and work into those PNMs that demonstrate good manners.

[Drolefille]

The thread title is flat out wrong.

Anything from"How to appease the old people you're asking to write letters for you," to "Hey it's just polite, stupid."

But it does jack shit to increase one's odds and THAT is what comes off as passive aggressive in this thread.

[Jill1228]

The title was worded wrong, but I agree with KD4Me.
A little thank you note goes a long way! Act like you got some home training!

[KD4Me]

Bad title for this thread, I've already said that (I think). What was in my head at the moment was that some PNMs come here and ask questions about what they should wear to a party three months from now, so I thought I would offer advice that would be helpful to them right now.

I do think that someone who takes time to write a letter saying that a PNM would be a worthy member of her sorority deserve note of thanks. Will not sending it hurt your chances? Unlikely. Will sending it result in a more favorable impression on the alumna, resulting in a stronger reference? Possibly. So when PNMs are posting pictures of shoes, asking us which ones we prefer with which dress for a party that won't occur for months, I offer a suggestion of something that they can do NOW that might help them, and that certainly is a good practice for life.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by KD4Me

Bad title for this thread, I've already said that (I think). What was in my head at the moment was that some PNMs come here and ask questions about what they should wear to a party three months from now, so I thought I would offer advice that would be helpful to them right now.

I do think that someone who takes time to write a letter saying that a PNM would be a worthy member of her sorority deserve note of thanks. Will not sending it hurt your chances? Unlikely. Will sending it result in a more favorable impression on the alumna, resulting in a stronger reference? Possibly. So when PNMs are posting pictures of shoes, asking us which ones we prefer with which dress for a party that won't occur for months, I offer a suggestion of something that they can do NOW that might help them, and that certainly is a good practice for life.

Now I'm kind of disappointed I didn't quote you for posterity.

But in reality, the controversial part of this WAS the title. It comes off not as a good bit of advice or even a bit of venting about rudeness but as really passive aggressive because it is soooo utterly unrelated to the title you gave it. Thus suggesting you'd sink someone's recruitment for failing to thank you properly OR suggesting that you'd guarantee someone's recruitment for the right note. Neither of these is really within your ability so it comes off poorly.

And despite my strong dislike for dress the PNM threads, you're still coming off rather patronizing with your "good practice for life" lines, in my opinion.

[excelblue]

Lane-swerving here, but I think there's something about this that applies to all favors. Whether it's small or large, a thank-you note is a quick and simple gesture that should always be done.

I'm from the west, and even here, thank-you notes are a nice gesture. It's just that only few people do them. Yet, they definitely are a plus.

[honeychile]

North, South, East, or West, you should always do your best to thank the people who help you improve yourself, or have gone out of their way for you.

Which makes you a better person, which makes you a more positive, interesting PNM, which helps your chances with recruitment.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Which makes you a better person, which makes you a more positive, interesting PNM, which helps your chances with recruitment.

Oh come on. That is a ridiculous stretch.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Oh come on. That is a ridiculous stretch.

I am genuinely sorry that you feel that way.

[shirley1929]

Originally Posted by honeychile

I am genuinely sorry that you feel that way.

Me too.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by honeychile

I am genuinely sorry that you feel that way.

It is flat out ridiculous to connect thank you notes with being a "better" person and then some how associating it with the success of one's recruitment.

You may believe it makes them a more polite person, shows good manners or what have you, but you're reaching really really far to claim 'better' person or that inherently they're more interesting as a PNM and have better chances at recruitment.

Unless you somehow have information on the respective results of PNMs who write thank you notes and those who don't instead of just wishful thinking.

I'm not arguing that it's not generally polite to send a thank you note, but it has jack to do with a PNM's recruitment and pretending otherwise is the only problem people have with the thread.

/and save your pity.

[KSUViolet06]

I don't necessarily care if I get a thank you note, but it's nice if you maybe email me and say thanks.

If we're talking recs, I'm FAR more peeved by the Last Minute PNM who waits right up until the deadline and sends me a crazy freak out email asking me to "omg please help bc I totally forgot I needed to get these!!!!!!" then expects me to pause my life to help, and sends me multiple emails rushing me to get them (when she was the one who forgot.) Or sends me a snippy email if I say I can't help her because she waited too late and I'm too busy.

[DubaiSis]

I'm from the North, ok, now the Middle East, and I think thank you notes are a sadly forgotten art. But the part that jumped out at me is the PNM sent in the packet without a cover letter, which to a certain extent would have served as a thank you. "Here's my stuff. Please send it to the AB sorority at Big State U. Thank you so much for doing this for me." This is also a good life lesson that is missed on so many job applicants. You HAVE to have a cover letter, and it HAS to be specific to the job at hand, or rec request in this case.

[AXOrushadvisor]

Thank you notes are not a regional thing. They are a manners thing. I will chalk thank you notes up there with a man helping a women on with her coat, a gentleman opening up the car door and pulling out a ladies chair. A lot of these gestures are a forgotten art. You can never have enough manners IMHO.

[AnchorAlumna]

I totally agree with KD4me.