Kicked Out of My Fraternity. Did They do Something Wrong?

[PsychTau]

I'm going to address a few things based on my past and current experience. Basically, the question you have posed to us is unanswerable by us. We do not have enough information.

After that semester I was academically dismissed from the college. It had nothing to do with academics. It was because of drama that I wasn't involved in but I was named as the source of it. However, giving me an academic dismissal allowed me to return to the college after being absent for one semester. Regular dismissal I would have had to wait 5 years.

No matter the dismissal (with the exception of "flunking out", which is proceeded by at least a semester of probation first), you would have had an investigation and disciplinary hearing before being suspended. Apparently they found you responsible for being somehow involved in something. In any case, judicial sanctions most likely resulted in you being considered in "poor standing" (or equivalent term) by the University.

Most (if not all) organizations, as well as Universities themselves, have a policy that states who is eligible to be a member. In the Inter/National organizations, this policy usually includes the phrase "fully matriculated student in good standing at the institution where XYZ is chartered." During the semester in question, you were not fully matriculated nor in good standing at said University (based on the information you have provided).

The fraternity president met with the Assistant Director of Greek Life weekly during the semester. She was aware of and approved of my participation in greek life while I was not a student. She said that the only restriction was that I could not appear on official rosters. However, I was still bound by the college rules. I had to go to required greek functions, do study tables, etc.

I find this exceptionally hard to believe. Most Universities require that every member (or new member) of an organization must be listed on the university roster. There are a few NIC/IFC fraternities that allow students from a nearby college/university join a chapter at a neighboring institution if there is not a chapter chartered at their institution (in this case, your community college). However, Universities tend to not recognize them as members (there may be exceptions...NPHC City Wide/Core Chapters are one such exception, but it doesn't sound like this is an NPHC Chapter) because of liability and access issues due to their non student status. In other words, it sounds very strange to me that the FSL professional could require you to attend events required by the University, but state that you cannot be listed on the rosters because of your disciplinary/non student status. It's possible this institution has different policies (once again, we don't have enough information), or he/she could have made a mistake. It's highly probable that the Chapter President totally misinterpreted what the FSL professional said...or reported it to you incorrectly.

I participated in our annual events, food drive, formal, Relay for Life, Make a Difference Day, and put in countless hours of community service. My car was even our homecoming float. I was nominated for Greek Council and IFC. I was elected to the third highest position in the fraternity and appointed to another position.

Once again, if you were not a fully matriculated student in good standing with the University, you could not have served as an officer on Greek Council or IFC. The chapter may have told you that they nominated you (if you only went to one meeting, how would you know they actually nominated you if you didn't witness it?) but that nomination would have been immediately void.

Overall, it sounds like your membership status was problematic from the start. It's quite possible that for whatever reason you were never "official" with the organization's HQ (if this organization has a HQ...I'm still not 100% clear on that). If this is true, once the HQ figured that out you could be instantly dropped without due process because you were never officially associated with the organization. Judicial/Standards Board hearings can also be conducted without the accused party present (depends on the policies) if the accused party was given proper notice and opportunity to appear.

If you really want to know if they did anything wrong, read the Constitution, Bylaws, and Procedures of the organization, as well as the Greek Life Policies of the institution where this occurred. The answers you seek are in those documents.

PsychTau

[xp2k]

I'll side with you on the fact that getting a job isnt necessarily always a choice. I had to work 4 jobs one year to make ends meet and my involvment in my chapter dropped a lot. The chapter could have part of me or none of me that year. Thats life.

However your story doesnt seem to add up completely.

The red flag for me is that a majority of your "brothers" deleted you from Facebook.

There are plenty of people in my Facebook profile who I've friended that I really dont care for, but I complied just to be polite. Having a friend on facebook doesnt really require any effort...and from my experience, people only delete others for 3 primary reasons.
1) You post incessantly and they find you annoying
2) They are passive agressive and want you to know that you're no longer on good terms
3) They really f*cking dont like you and want nothing to do for you

I could see if maybe a brother or two unfriended you...but almost all of the chapter did? And you're crying innocence? Somethings not being said.

So with the other posters, I have a hard time believing that you're tellings us even 70% of the story.

Either way, it sounds like you have other stuff to settle first and you already belong to a brotherhood so life isnt so bad huh?

[D-Phi362]

Judging from your past posts and your very brief description of your situation and membership status, it's fairly obvious what organization your in, and I can assure you that the members of this fraternity didn't make a mistake in their processes. While it might not seem extremely polite or fair of them to not give you a reason for your termination, they haven't violated any of their processes.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. As a member of this organization, if my assumption is correct anyway, I might be able to answer some questions you have.

Also, you're allowed to be president. Well, not anymore I guess. But you were.

[MariettaPhiMA]

PsychTau-That is usually how a dismissal works. However, with me, they just skipped over all that. I confronted them about it and they pointed me to a clause in the undergraduate catalog which says that is the standard procedure but basically they can do anything they want.

The greek life director quite possibly just made a mistake. It was her first week on the job when the president asked her about me. It's also possible that the president lied to the entire fraternity so that I could participate because we are so few in number.

I was at many, many meetings. My post only says that I have not been at them this semester. The past two semesters I have been. The nominations in question were last semester.

I was never official with the national organization. Only the local chapter. However, I'm not in charge of submitting paperwork so this is an error on their part, not mine.

xp2k-Do you not understand from my previous posts that I am telling all I know? I can't possibly tell you the whole story since they have never told me why I was dismissed. It's not that I'm withholding information. I don't have it myself.

I believe that it's either option 2 or 3. I've had very limited communication with them outside of meetings and events so it's not option 1.

I agree with you about my other brotherhood. Those brothers are not on this campus but they are standing beside me. They even let me rejoin their chapter at a college 40 miles away.

D-Phi362I'm not talking about Sinfonia. They are the supportive ones. I don't think any of my past posts reveal the current fraternity. I will PM you to see what house you are in.

[MariettaPhiMA]

I talked to our faculty advisor today. The chapter tried to dismiss me without informing him. He postponed the decision so he could defend me.

The vote to dismiss me was unanimous. They said they felt unsafe around me, that I was a danger to them and that I had sent them messages on Facebook that scared them. The advisor blocked them from going to campus police to file a report about me like they wanted to. However, they'll probably do it anyway.

The reason they gave was these Facebook messages. A couple of weeks ago while I was at work I started getting texts from people asking why I sent weird messages. Turns out my account had been phished. They sent messages to everyone on my friends list from A-G. Some of them had no content and others had links. I don't know what the links were. When I checked my sent messages my computer would not open the links because it said it would harm the computer.

This isn't uncommon. I've got a few weird messages like that. Phishing isn't an uncommon thing. I sent an email to every single person who was sent a message. I said that the account had been phished, I changed the password, and it shouldn't happen again. I can't do any more than apologize.

But seriously, I don't think that they are that big of drama queens. They're just using it as a cover for their real reasons. Contacting the police and saying they don't feel safe makes it look like they are the victims.

I have a clear conscious and the advisor believes me. Hung out with some alums this weekend that simply don't care. And as you all pointed out I still have my other brothers.

[Ghostwriter]

Originally Posted by MariettaPhiMA

I talked to our faculty advisor today. The chapter tried to dismiss me without informing him. He postponed the decision so he could defend me.

The vote to dismiss me was unanimous. They said they felt unsafe around me, that I was a danger to them and that I had sent them messages on Facebook that scared them. The advisor blocked them from going to campus police to file a report about me like they wanted to. However, they'll probably do it anyway.

The reason they gave was these Facebook messages. A couple of weeks ago while I was at work I started getting texts from people asking why I sent weird messages. Turns out my account had been phished. They sent messages to everyone on my friends list from A-G. Some of them had no content and others had links. I don't know what the links were. When I checked my sent messages my computer would not open the links because it said it would harm the computer.

This isn't uncommon. I've got a few weird messages like that. Phishing isn't an uncommon thing. I sent an email to every single person who was sent a message. I said that the account had been phished, I changed the password, and it shouldn't happen again. I can't do any more than apologize.

But seriously, I don't think that they are that big of drama queens. They're just using it as a cover for their real reasons. Contacting the police and saying they don't feel safe makes it look like they are the victims.

I have a clear conscious and the advisor believes me. Hung out with some alums this weekend that simply don't care. And as you all pointed out I still have my other brothers.

For goodness sakes. Just walk away! Can't you tell from what they (your Fraternity) are doing that they do not want you around. You bring too much baggage. Again, I repeat, walk away. Oh yeah, and be civil when you see the brothers around campus.

[33girl]

Maybe the phish caused the food poisoning outbreak.

Seriously, this is like a sequined pantyhose story in reverse.

[MariettaPhiMA]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Seriously, this is like a sequined pantyhose story in reverse.

What is that?

[MariettaPhiMA]

Originally Posted by Ghostwriter

For goodness sakes. Just walk away! Can't you tell from what they (your Fraternity) are doing that they do not want you around. You bring too much baggage. Again, I repeat, walk away. Oh yeah, and be civil when you see the brothers around campus.

Yes, I can tell that. Why would you say that I don't? I've said many times that I don't want to be a part of it. I posted here to get opinions from other greeks. And how do I bring too much baggage? The problems I have were caused by the fraternity, not brought into it.

Why would I not be civil? Or the better question is why would I be? I will speak to my big, the alums, and those who didn't delete me. They are still my brothers.

[Kevin]

Your advisor shouldn't be sticking his nose in things. That's not a good way for an advisor to be. He should accept the will of the organization and move on. Is he not a member?

[Senusret I]

This won't help, but really guys, I think whatever the issue is with the OP, he's not going to "get" it by you telling him on a message board.

It sounds to me like he has a hard time relating to people and picking up social cues and could have a situation that's on a spectrum of other situations. Ya dig?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

This won't help, but really guys, I think whatever the issue is with the OP, he's not going to "get" it by you telling him on a message board.

It sounds to me like he has a hard time relating to people and picking up social cues and could have a situation that's on a spectrum of other situations. Ya dig?

Having PMed with him, I think he has gotten it. We can all move along.

[DrPhil]

I don't even get it.

That's because I never read the OP's posts.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

This entire thread was just like ??? & creepy...
And as someone who has had someone suspended from school, no one gets suspended for no reason. I had to do a lot of paperwork and interviews to make that happen.

[Psi U MC Vito]