Please don't stalk the PNMs

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

Especially true because everybody on this forum has some interest in Greek Life and understands the differences between schools...but if you are a 17 or 18 year old girl and rush is your first real contact with greek life, you have no idea that simply saying "there are 14 sororities at my school" or "we had to wear a recruitment t-shirt the first day" could eliminate 99% of the schools in the country from the running of your "anonymous university". Naturally you'd simply assume that your recruitment experience was the norm for every other school.

EXACTLY.

Larger schools are less anonymous. Like when a poster will say, "I'm not going to say my school, but we have 19 chapters and deferred recruitment" and not realize there is only one school with that description.

[bostongreek]

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

It's been a process of evolution on these boards.

more like a process of evolution on the internet. remember the days when you didn't have to make your facebook super PC and private because of potential employers?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by shadokat

true that AOII LB93. It's really sorta sad when you think about it. These stories are fun and interesting, but crazies have to get all stalkerish. I mean, WTF do you care what school this girl is at? I, for one, couldn't care less if XYZ board poster has figured out what school bettyPNM is at, etc. Leave bettyPNM alone to have her recruitment and if she wants to divulge further information at the end, that's her prerogative. Sorry, this just really burns me up

I get a little annoyed when people consider others finding out a PNMs school "stalking" them

Stalking would be like attempting to figure out their real names, what dorm they live in, or other real-life identifying info.

To be quite honest, it is a CHOICE for any PNM to post a story. Everyone knows that ANYONE can read ANYTHING that's posted on the internet.

So anytime you post a story, you should expect that everyone can read it, and some people may guess where you're at.

And really, people knowing where you are is not that big of a deal. As long as you aren't being a complete snot in your thread, no one is going to care.

Also, I've said this a thousand times, but in terms of PNMs recruitment threads affect their recruitment in real life, it's not GCers they need to be concerned about: It's mostly active sorority members at their schools who lurk here but don't post.

Random GC Kappa may find out that you hated Kappa and that you thought they were fat and ugly, but she's likely not going to do a darn thing. Katie Kappa from Your University might read it, figure out you're talking about her chapter, and make sure you don't come back again (and possibly tell her friends in other chapters).

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

This happens every year. I wish someone would post a sticky! Usually it's well-meaning curiosity but there are certain things that just shouldn't be done during Recruitment.

Story-reading etiquette:

1) Don't continue to bump a thread hoping that the PNM will magically start posting again. Perhaps things didn't turn out as they'd hoped. If they'd like to update, they will.

2) Don't out the school. If a PNM has chosen to keep her college or university private please respect that choice.

3) Don't try to track down a PNM IRL to find out if they got a bid. This is just creepy.


Add any you feel appropriate!

Worth repeating on the second (third?) page.

Trying to find PNMs on Facebook or another blog is also stalking.

[shadokat]

Figuring or finding out a PNM's school = not stalking. Going on facebook and trying to find said PNM is stalking. Also, saying " be careful bettyPNM, I know what school you're at"...it sounds a little crazy to me. All that being said, I can agree that if you're posting something online, you should expect it's going to be read. It's common courtesy to not disclose the information publicly on the thread, because if bettyPNM wanted us to know what the sororities are or what school she's at, she would've told us. THAT is my point, end of story.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I get a little annoyed when people consider others finding out a PNMs school "stalking" them

Stalking would be like attempting to figure out their real names, what dorm they live in, or other real-life identifying info.

To be quite honest, it is a CHOICE for any PNM to post a story. Everyone knows that ANYONE can read ANYTHING that's posted on the internet.

So anytime you post a story, you should expect that everyone can read it, and some people may guess where you're at.

And really, people knowing where you are is not that big of a deal. As long as you aren't being a complete snot in your thread, no one is going to care.

Also, I've said this a thousand times, but in terms of PNMs recruitment threads affect their recruitment in real life, it's not GCers they need to be concerned about: It's mostly active sorority members at their schools who lurk here but don't post.

Random GC Kappa may find out that you hated Kappa and that you thought they were fat and ugly, but she's likely not going to do a darn thing. Katie Kappa from Your University might read it, figure out you're talking about her chapter, and make sure you don't come back again (and possibly tell her friends in other chapters).

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by shadokat

Figuring or finding out a PNM's school = not stalking. Going on facebook and trying to find said PNM is stalking. Also, saying " be careful bettyPNM, I know what school you're at"...it sounds a little crazy to me. All that being said, I can agree that if you're posting something online, you should expect it's going to be read. It's common courtesy to not disclose the information publicly on the thread, because if bettyPNM wanted us to know what the sororities are or what school she's at, she would've told us. THAT is my point, end of story.

I'm trying to figure out where in the world all this CRAZY STALKING is going on with people looking PNMs up on Facebook.

Oh that's right, it's NOT HAPPENING and you're just pulling it out of nowhere.

You clearly haven't been here for awhile and have no clue what you're talking about.

I'd like you to cite your source, please if you're going to say that we are stalking and being CRAZY.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I'm trying to figure out where in the world all this CRAZY STALKING is going on with people looking PNMs up on Facebook.

Oh that's right, it's NOT HAPPENING and you're just pulling it out of nowhere.

You clearly haven't been here for awhile and have no clue what you're talking about.

I'd like you to cite your source, please if you're going to say that we are stalking and being CRAZY.

either they are pulling it out of their butt, or they are referring to me. When I said I wonder where my rec crew was going and that I might check to see if they have bid day photos up on Facebook.

[shadokat]

1) If I was referring to someone ep, I'd just say who I was talking about...it's the way I am.

2) KSU, because I don't feel the need to let the world know my opinion on everything that people post about doesn't mean I'm not here or am unaware of what I'm talking about. I voiced my opinion on something I felt strongly about, and I'm entitled to do so. And maybe my absence of voicing opinions could be directly related to the "attack" nature of those who respond. Must go back to that "evolution" of the boards.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by shadokat

1) If I was referring to someone ep, I'd just say who I was talking about...it's the way I am.

2) KSU, because I don't feel the need to let the world know my opinion on everything that people post about doesn't mean I'm not here or am unaware of what I'm talking about. I voiced my opinion on something I felt strongly about, and I'm entitled to do so. And maybe my absence of voicing opinions could be directly related to the "attack" nature of those who respond. Must go back to that "evolution" of the boards.

Sure, but if you don't post a lot, you don't establish much credibility with other readers, and we might not all assume that just because you posted something, it must be true.

If you intend to persuade people that facebook stalking of PNM is a real danger on GC, you might need a little more evidence.

(I can't even figure out how one would do it, not that I want to try. It's one thing if you're already friends on facebook with a PNM and you can check her wall for updates, which is a far cry from stalking, IMO. But most of the recuitments here have hundreds of girls going through; as far as I know, no one posted a thread under her real name. It just seems like, even if all students at a particularly college had public profiles, it would still be close to impossible to figure out who a particular PNM was.)

[BellaBerlee]

Originally Posted by epchick

either they are pulling it out of their butt, or they are referring to me. When I said I wonder where my rec crew was going and that I might check to see if they have bid day photos up on Facebook.

Or talking about me too. I found my rec on facebook and found out where she went. I was excited for her, especially knowing her code and preffing my chapter.

I don't consider it stalking, if you know the girl and her name. Heck, so many people on facebook see a friend of a friend and click on their profile to "check them out."

[shadokat]

No, I wasn't talking about you either...it was a general statement. You KNEW the person, as you wrote a rec. That seems fine to me.

I will go crawl back in the hole for where I was, since my credibility is shot

Originally Posted by BellaBerlee

Or talking about me too. I found my rec on facebook and found out where she went. I was excited for her, especially knowing her code and preffing my chapter.

I don't consider it stalking, if you know the girl and her name. Heck, so many people on facebook see a friend of a friend and click on their profile to "check them out."

[KSUViolet06]

Oh and while we're on the subject, I am also curious to know how we could possibly Facebook stalk PNMs when we don't even know their NAMES.

I mean, how are we going to stalk someone when all we know is that their school has 10 chapters and their username is PinkPNM21?

Oh wait, we can't.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Jen

Well, no one uses the PM feature here to contact PNMs at all. So no one could possibly find out that info from some overly trusting PNM who doesn't realize they're dealing with a crazy person who will then Google them within an inch of their life when they don't get a bid and don't return to GC to tell their story, thus infuriating said crazy person who feels they have the RIGHT to know because overly trusting PNM obviously owes it to them since they had a handful of interactions via PM.

Or something like that ...

LOL at "Googled within an inch of their life."

[DrPhil]

Another lane swerve here...

I don't think anyone is saying that you are all a bunch of stalkers. It seems like they are discussing the things that may've happened and can possibly happen. I don't understand taking these general statements personally or being offended.

I certainly don't know what other posters are doing with their PMs, facebook, and so forth. Just because you haven't done that, it doesn't mean that there aren't a bunch of posters who may do that.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I will go crawl back in the hole for where I was, since my credibility is shot

Not shot, just not established.

ETA: this was apparently a more insulting comment than I intended. I just meant that it doesn't seem unreasonable that someone would want to know what you knew about this issue. I don't know or remember enough of what you've said previously to simply accept your post as gospel without your reminding me why I should. Not that you're obligated to establish yourself to me.