Advice for PNMs: Not getting a bid to your 1st choice.

[WCsweet<3]

All of this is so true! While I didn't receive a bid to my first choice, I stuck with my second choice and now that I have spent the year with my chapter, I know that while I have difficulties with my sister(s), that there is no better place for me. Would I have done well with my first choice? Probably. However, for whatever reason, they didn't want me then and my sorority did.

Your sorority cannot make your experience the best without your own effort. ACTUAL EFFORT! Also, I have met some of the most amazing women who are alum and I am so blessed to have found them. Sororities are bigger than just your campus, they are nation wide (for non-locals that is) and there is so much you can do with that!

[autigercourt]

Hey everyone, I was a Pi Chi 2 years during my time at Auburn. Here is some of the advice that I've given my girls who have been cut by their favorite sororities or who didn't get their 1st or 2nd choice.

1. The girls that are rushing you usually aren't going to end up being your best friend. The girls that you will be closest too are the girls who are lining up to go into the parties with you! A lot of girls don't think of this! But it is SOOO true!

2. If you end up pledging a sorority that wasn't your favorite because you didn't like their recruitment. Take that as a chance to step up and change things for the better! The sororities are looking for girls who are going to make their chapter better! Don't just sit back, step up and make a difference!! It makes it even more fun!

3. KEEP AN OPEN MIND!!!! enough said

4. If you get a bid from a sorority that isn't your favorite, give them a chance! They've rushed you hard and they want you to be apart of their sisterhood!!


Ok, thats all I can think of right now! Good luck!!

[Just interested]

40 plus years ago a young, naive transfer student showed up at a major (I think major -10 NPC groups ) Southern university as a sophomore with references in place and only one group on her mind. Rush went very well until....preference. I opened my envelope and all I saw was that said group, who I was meant to be, did not invite me back for preference. It didn't matter I had 3 other choices. I dropped out of recruitment without a hesitation. I don't even remember who was on the list. I just remember who was not. Like the the glass is half empty instead of half full.

Fast forward to 3 weeks later, a group, who I had really liked during rush, but were not known as one of the TOP groups invited me to join as I guess today would be called a COB. I pondered this. What should I do? I liked them. Could I grow to love them? It was a risk but I took it.

All I can say is today, I cannot imagine anything but being a Kappa Delta. I have served 6 years as a national officer, continue to serve in my community on the reference board and House Corporation Board and the most important thing are the friends I have made not just from my chapter but from all over the United States. What a wonderful bond of sisterhood.

I have wanted to post my recruitment story, and here it is in a nutshell.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Just interested

40 plus years ago a young, naive transfer student showed up at a major (I think major -10 NPC groups ) Southern university as a sophomore with references in place and only one group on her mind. Rush went very well until....preference. I opened my envelope and all I saw was that said group, who I was meant to be, did not invite me back for preference. It didn't matter I had 3 other choices. I dropped out of recruitment without a hesitation. I don't even remember who was on the list. I just remember who was not. Like the the glass is half empty instead of half full.

Fast forward to 3 weeks later, a group, who I had really liked during rush, but were not known as one of the TOP groups invited me to join as I guess today would be called a COB. I pondered this. What should I do? I liked them. Could I grow to love them? It was a risk but I took it.

All I can say is today, I cannot imagine anything but being a Kappa Delta. I have served 6 years as a national officer, continue to serve in my community on the reference board and House Corporation Board and the most important thing are the friends I have made not just from my chapter but from all over the United States. What a wonderful bond of sisterhood.

I have wanted to post my recruitment story, and here it is in a nutshell.

Thanks for sharing.

I have heard many girls who declined their 2nd choice or depledged their 2nd choice say: "I wish I had stuck it out." or "I wish I had taken it."

I feel like it's better to take the chance than to look back and totally regret not at least trying it.

[Titchou]

One of my closest PH friends did not get her first choice. But she decided to give the group a try because they had wanted her. Fast forward, she was a traveling consultant for them after she graduated, served in several alum positions and eventually was elected to their Grand Council as a Vice President. I admire her greatly! She is a credit to all NPC organizations and especially the one she belongs to.

[BadCat25]

Sorority recruitment has the almost unique ability to drive girls crazy. You don’t see girls reduced to tears after being rejected by Harvard or being cut at tryouts for the basketball team. I think it’s because you can see some rational reason for these rejections. Your SATs weren’t high enough or you had a lousy jump shot. With rush you just can’t see any reason for it. Why didn’t ABC like me? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be part of the “in group”? You will never know and can never figure it out.

[SusySorostitute]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

Sorority recruitment has the almost unique ability to drive girls crazy. You don’t see girls reduced to tears after being rejected by Harvard or being cut at tryouts for the basketball team. I think it’s because you can see some rational reason for these rejections. Your SATs weren’t high enough or you had a lousy jump shot. With rush you just can’t see any reason for it. Why didn’t ABC like me? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be part of the “in group”? You will never know and can never figure it out.

I agree with most of what has been said in this thread, but I do not believe that this is true. I have seen MANY girls reduced to tears after not being accepted to their college of choice or being cut from a team. That being said, rejection hurts, especially when you have not learned how to cope with it yet (which is often true of girls in their teens). The reason is often not apparent for any of these situations, but you have to learn to make the most of the opportunities you do have instead of dwell on the ones you do not.

[futuregreek?]

Thank you so much for this thread! I keep hearing things like "you'll know your house the second you walk in" or "you just feel it." Which sounds great until you hear about everyone that gets dropped or doesn't get *that* bid. As a pnm that is rushing a week from monday (ahhh!) it is reasuring to hear that things will probably work out eventually even if your rush isn't picture purfect. Plus, at least for my campus it seems that all of the sororites have great qualities and great girls.

[barefootbeauty]

What a wonderful thread. Too many girls are concerned with what I guess are called "suicide bids." They only list one group at the end of pref night and if they don't get a bid the next day, they swear off greek life and will be crushed. Sometimes what you think you want is not what's best or where you're meant to be in the long run. No one can tell the future, so one can never be sure that one chapter is better over another for them until they experience it. Go with the flow, sometimes it's better than a well thought out plan.

[KSUViolet06]

Good bump for the new GC PNMs, because yes, this happens.

[carnation]

Hey ,thanks for bumping this, KSU, this is a good one!

[BeeBee23]

couldnt agree more with what autigercourt said!

Just because it's your first choice during recruitment...doesnt mean it's actually the best fit for YOU. I think there are so many girls who want to pledge a certain house because it's full of the type of girls they WANT to be, not the type of girls they actually ARE. PNMs: Look around while you're waiting for the party to start (esp at prefs, but for all rounds after round 1). Can you see yourself fitting in with the girls that are lining up with you? Do you feel comfortable at the house, or are you nervous trying to make a good impression so the sisters will like you? These are all things to think about because what you want may not be what you need or what will be suit you.

[Drolefille]

There's bumping a thread and there's replying to the comments from almost a year ago...

[BeeBee23]

haha I knew it was posted a year ago, but the girl had a good point.

[KSUViolet06]

Bumping since we are about one week out from recruitment season!