Tactless and hurtful

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by flffydg9

My daughter pledged last week, and today her pledge advisor/active member brought something up that hurt her feelings. The active asked her where she bought her bras, because she "looked o.k. today", but she noticed before that she didn't, and she was wondering if my daughter was simply wearing a "bad underwire". My daughter explained to her that her breastbone is malformed (she has a pectus excavatum), and that's why she looks that way. She believes the girl said a simple "Sorry", but is not sure, as she was so upset about this. To make it worse, the active continued with the word "bra" while they were in line for food, and my daughter had to remind her that they were in public. My daughter was in tears when she called me. Your input, anyone?

While I sympathize with you, as a mother myself, I wonder if you are simply feeling the empty nest syndrome. This can't be the first time that someone has commented (tactlessly or not) on your daughter's situation.
I'm sure you've taught her to respond in a positive manner when comments are made.
Not everyone she meets in her new group will be perfect or say things without thinking.
I've got a slightly different walk, and yes I get tired of the comments. If someone, even now, brings it up, I smile and say, "It's just the way I was made", smile and walk away.

[LadyLonghorn]

OMG! Her sister said BRA in the food line!

Let me get this timeline straight based on your other posts. In October, "DD" doesn't get invited to any pref parties then gets a snap bid. Offended that she wasn't invited to pref, she declines. Then she calls back and accepts. Now since she "just pledged last week," DD obviously backed out of that bid and now has pledged another (presumably) group. Now they're being "tactless and hurtful" to her. It sounds to me like your "DD" is very overly sensitive. But I guess that's understandable when you have an over protective heli-mom who races to the intrawebz to whine and air her dirty laundry every time "DD" feels the least bit slighted. I think mom needs to cut the cord and "DD" needs to grow some.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn

OMG! Her sister said BRA in the food line!

Let me get this timeline straight based on your other posts. In October, "DD" doesn't get invited to any pref parties then gets a snap bid. Offended that she wasn't invited to pref, she declines. Then she calls back and accepts. Now since she "just pledged last week," DD obviously backed out of that bid and now has pledged another (presumably) group. Now they're being "tactless and hurtful" to her. It sounds to me like your "DD" is very overly sensitive. But I guess that's understandable when you have an over protective heli-mom who races to the intrawebz to whine and air her dirty laundry every time "DD" feels the least bit slighted. I think mom needs to cut the cord and "DD" needs to grow some.

You need to post here more often.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn

OMG! Her sister said BRA in the food line!

Let me get this timeline straight based on your other posts. In October, "DD" doesn't get invited to any pref parties then gets a snap bid. Offended that she wasn't invited to pref, she declines. Then she calls back and accepts. Now since she "just pledged last week," DD obviously backed out of that bid and now has pledged another (presumably) group. Now they're being "tactless and hurtful" to her. It sounds to me like your "DD" is very overly sensitive. But I guess that's understandable when you have an over protective heli-mom who races to the intrawebz to whine and air her dirty laundry every time "DD" feels the least bit slighted. I think mom needs to cut the cord and "DD" needs to grow some.

FTW!

[moe.ron]

Originally Posted by LadyLonghorn

OMG! Her sister said BRA in the food line!

Let me get this timeline straight based on your other posts. In October, "DD" doesn't get invited to any pref parties then gets a snap bid. Offended that she wasn't invited to pref, she declines. Then she calls back and accepts. Now since she "just pledged last week," DD obviously backed out of that bid and now has pledged another (presumably) group. Now they're being "tactless and hurtful" to her. It sounds to me like your "DD" is very overly sensitive. But I guess that's understandable when you have an over protective heli-mom who races to the intrawebz to whine and air her dirty laundry every time "DD" feels the least bit slighted. I think mom needs to cut the cord and "DD" needs to grow some.

+1

[icelandelf]

Originally Posted by moe.ron

+1

LOL

[Benzgirl]

My favorite Lady Longhorn post, courtesy of OTW

[33girl]

I also am lollerskating at the use of "bra" in the food line being a sin. Obama better fix this doggone it.

It sounds like 1) the active was trying to be helpful but just wasn't very tactful and 2) once she realized it was a physical/medical issue, she was probably so sorry she opened her mouth that she wanted to fall through the floor.

Your daughter definitely needs to stop running to you with things like this and if she doesn't, you need to start telling her to take care of it herself. Plus at this point in her life, shouldn't she know how/be able to dress to conceal it?

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Originally Posted by OTW

Have your daughter fight her own battles.

FWAP FWAP FWAP FWAP.

Cosign. Daughter is a big girl and needs to figure this stuff out, even if she messes up a couple of times.

Mom needs to take a deep breath and step back a few paces.