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Tactless and hurtful
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I would talk with the young lady in a one-on-one (heart to heart) and let her know that the entire conversation was very upsetting to her. Let her know how it made her feel and what how it attacked her self-esteem. I would let her know that if she had wanted to comment on her bra, then it would have been better to do it in a private conversation between the two of them. I would let her know that your (your daughter) isn't trying to create any tension between the two of them, but that you just wanted to clear the air and continue the bond of sisterhood by starting a new beginning.
It helps your daughter to be able to let it out and tell her not to focus on the negative of her body, but to learn how to turn the situation into something positive without turning her sorrow into negativity or constant anxiety. |
1. The active may've been crass and tactless or your daughter may be sensitive. Hard to tell. The active may've been really nice but her curiosity was loud and in the wrong venue. Who knows.
2. Life happens. Your daughter will be okay. ETA: libra's advice sounds good, too. 3. I don't know what you mean by "she continued with 'bra' while they were in line for food." What does that mean? 4. Did your daughter intend for you to bring this here when she told you? I hope not because sometimes we want to talk to a friend or parent without it going further than that, let alone a message board. Just make sure you don't get too involved. :) |
Have your daughter fight her own battles.
FWAP FWAP FWAP FWAP. |
While I agree it wasn't the best thing to say, perhaps the member was explaining to someone else about your daughter (I have Pectus carinatum, albeit it's very slight). My advice is for your daughter to go to the sister and talk with her and let her know she was upset. Also if anyone else has a question, she should tell the member to refer them to your daughter. It shouldn't be anyone's concern.
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I'm rather unfamiliar with it. |
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pectus_excavatum |
Based on postings from the OP last fall, I would need to agree with OTW. Something is wrong with this picture.
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I get that your daughter may be hurt by this but there are some things to remember:
*Sorority members are just like REGULAR people. They aren't somehow above possibly saying something that could be perceived as tactless. * People cannot read your daughter's mind or know that she has a pectoral issue before saying things. *I don't see how this gets posted on a Greek message board. One convo with a member does not reflect poorly on a chapter. *Your daughter is an adult, and I am certain that she is capable of expressing the fact that she is offended by someone on her own, and does not require mom posting a mesage board about it. *I think it is a little inappropriate for a mom to be posting about her kid's personal medical issues on a message board. *Your daughter needs to develop the people skills needed to express her issues with conversations on HER OWN, if she doesn't already have them. *If she has such a condition, she needs to understand that not everybody is educated about it. I have a disorder, and my sorority sisters have asked me about it, without knowing what it is. I simply look at it as a teachable moment. She should too. *Kids need to learn to "fight their own' battles in life, whether mommy is offended or not. |
Oh, she tried to delete her message. :)
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"assssssss...hooooooooole!"
~ Baby from Meet the Fockers |
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